(I thought of)

"You were my sunshine"

I cradle him in my arms while I slowly rock back and forth

"My only sunshine.."

Tears threaten to spill from my eyes. No matter how many times I tell myself to move on, I can't stop coming back to him.

"You made me h-happy"

I feel the tears run down my face as I struggle to continue singing to his lifeless body, but I'm determined to sing to him. He always loved this song..

"When sk-skies were gr-ey"

I hug him closer to me, his body is cold and limp. I miss him warmth. I miss how he'd snuggle up to me after I'd have calmed him down. I miss him cheering me up when I couldn't think of anything. I miss him being worried about everything.

"You never kn-knew, d-ear"

I always hid my feelings behind the act that I was self-centered. But he knew. He knew I was insecure. But he didn't care. And I treated him awfully. This is my fault.

"How m-much I loved you"

I did love him. I still do. I just didn't know how to tell him. I was so scared... And I hurt him. I didn't know what I was doing.

"Cause you took... M-my sunsh-shine a-way"

I sit him down on my lap and cradle him closer to me. I cry into his shoulder, just like I'd seen him do with Patton. I start loudly sobbing as I remember all the times I was mean to him. A few minutes go by and now I can't breathe.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and freeze up, I immediately become silent and I slowly look up to see Patton, with a worried look on his face.

"Roman... You can't keep congering him like this. You have to let go." I shake my head and look down at Virgil. I can't help but hope that he's just taking a break, and he'll be back soon.

"Roman, you know this isn't healthy. Plus, you know that whatever you make in here Thomas thinks about." I glare at Patton. My gaze softens as I see he's near tears. I sigh and shake my head.

"I know. I just- I just can't help it... I just wanted to sing to him one last time..." Patton gives a sad smile and sits in front of me, wiping a few tears off my face.

"You said that last time, kiddo." I tear up again and focus my eyes on Virgil. He isn't real. At least, this version isn't. Nothing will ever be as good as the original.

"I know.. I just... I wanna believe that he'll come back to us. I just wanna think that he's perfectly fine. He's just in his room hiding under his bed listening to music. I want to be able to go to his room and see him dancing while cleaning, listening to his favorite song while humming quietly."

"I know kiddo.... It's ok to miss him. You just can't keep doing this to yourself. You're only making yourself feel worse"

I hug Virgil, tightly. It hurts knowing that I'll never hear his voice again. I'll never see his cute smile or his lovely eye shadow again.

"Hey Roman... I know it isn't a good time to bring this up, but Logan wants to tell Thomas today, and he needs you there. Afterwards I'm making dinner and I want you to come. I'll force you to come, if need be."

I sigh and erase Virgil from Thomas's mind, him fading away in my arms. I look at my hands in defeat and notice they're starting to shake. I tighten my hands into fists in attempt to stop them from shaking.

I look up at Patton, seeing him reaching out his hand to help me up. I take his hand and he pulls me into a hug. I wrap my arms tightly around his waist and bury my head into his shoulder.

I hear someone clear their throat and I look up to see Logan, who looks more of a mess than usual, yet still trying to keep his composure.

I pull away from Patton and he goes to his spot, me already being in mine.

"Wait- Princey what happened?" I look at Thomas. He has bags under his eyes and his hair is a mess. I put my hand over my mouth and turn to look at the stairs. No matter how hard I try, I can't keep my composure for long.

I start crying again, unable to look at the others. I do listen though, incase they call for me.

"Logan, Patton, what's happening? Where's Virgil?" I nearly choke upon hearing those words. Everything hurts and I can't act as though it doesn't anymore.

"Thomas, due to unfortunate events.. Virgil has... Spiritually departed to a place people commonly refer to as 'a better place'"

Great going Logan. Way to let Thomas down easy. While I have to suffer with knowing the full story.

"Wait... Do you mean that he died? How is that possible? And why is Roman breaking down over it? Patton, I'd expect you to be the one struggling the most seeming as you were the closest to him. How are you still smiling?"

"Well, you know kiddo. I've had my fair share of mental breakdowns. I'm just better at keeping my composure when others aren't okay. Besides, Roman has been constantly reminding himself of Virgil instead of letting go. I don't see how it hasn't killed him yet."

I flinch at the last words, unable to hear them without thinking of Virgil. Of his last moment with me....

"Well why is Roman so attached to Virgil, anyways? Why can't he move on like you guys could?"

I wipe my eyes and focus on my breathing.

"I think you should ask him that."

"Roman... What's keeping you from moving on?"

I look up at Thomas, staring him straight in the eyes. I can see his concern. I manage to get out four words before I break down completely.

"He was my sunshine"

Word count- 1030