Warnings: Cursing, Remus, ships(that will be at the top f the separate quotes) 

(To the tune of 'Deck the halls')

Remus: *Decorating the house* Deck the hall with poison Ivy, Fala Lala lalala-

Patton: What?
Remus: If you touch it you'll be sorry! Fala Lala lalala-
Patton: Why?
Remus: Break the window, Pop a tire! Fala Lala lalala-
Logan: *Leans over to Janus. Whispers* Is it safe to let him do this?
Janus: *Shrugs* We've never had problems in the past
Remus: Set the Christmas tree on fire! Fala Lala lalala la lalala-

Thomas: *Trying to ease some tension* If you're happy and you know it close your hands
Everyone: ... *Awkwardly fidgets*
Thomas: Are You guys okay?

Roman: If you have 10 cookies and someone asks for two, How many cookies do you have?
Patton: Ten
Roman: Okay? What if someone forcibly takes two? What do you have then?
Patton: Ten, A dead body, And Remus on the way

(Everyone is is the commons just doing various activities(Patton/Everyone))
Patton: Shout out to the friend I have a crush on!
*Looks around the room* Shout out to the five friends I have a crush on.

(Randomly throughout the day while he is sitting in the living room)
Remus: The fact that Kansas and Arkansas are pronounced differently bothers me way more than it should.
Pronouncing words that end in 'ough'. Cough, brought, rough, dough, through, though...
Is the 'S' or 'C' in 'scent' silent
Why is there a 'D' in 'fridge' but not in 'refrigerator'?
Zoey and Zoe are pronounced the same but Joey and Joe are not
You can drink a drink but you can't food a food
The word 'Queue' is just the letter 'Q' followed by four silent letters
Why is 'W' called a 'Double-U' when it is clearly a 'Double-V''

Patton: This is my son Virgil. *Jazz hands toward Virgil*
Logan: Okay.
Patton: This is my dramatic son, Roman. *Jazz hands towards Roman*
Logan: Salutations.
Patton: and lastly this is my snake son, Janus. *Jazz hands towards Janus*
Logan: Patton you can't just adopt people when you are sad.
Janus: OH! I'm where you draw the line!

(Logince, They had an argument in the morning over crofters or somin', it is now afternoon and Logan wants cuddles.)
Logan: Okay, Look I've brought you this.
Roman: Jewelry!? Seriously!? Logan, you are the most shallow, self-centered person I've ever met! Do you think another transparently mainpu-
Logan: *Removes the gift form the box*
Roman: OH! It's a tiara! A tiara! I have a tiara! Put it on me, put it on me!
Logan: *Places the tiara on Roman's head* You look beautiful
Roman: Of course I do, I'm a princess and this is my tiara!

(Analogical [platonic/roommates])
Logan: I'm off to a meeting.
Virgil: Forgetting something *looks to Logan's wallet*
Logan: Ah, yes. *Kisses Virgil on the cheek*
Virgil: I meant your wallet-

Logan: How did none of you hear what I just said!
Virgil: I've been Zoned out for the past two and a half hours (same)
Patton: I got distracted half way through.
Roman: Ignoring you was a continuous decision

(Logince)
Patton: Logan, why don't you ever smile?
Logan: A number of years ago it was brought to my attention that, due to my face shape, I appear unattractive while smiling and a neutral expression is optimal.
Roman: Do you have twenty minutes to be told just how wrong you are? *Pulls out his phone and projects a power point on the TV*

Virgil: Now kids, you can't just lay down and let people walk all over you. Lay down on the road and let them run you over with their car. If they are going to hurt you they might as well do it properly.
This episode of sesame street is brought to you by the letter 'Y'. 'Y' for 'Y am I alive'

Virgil: Alright so you've got to make your eyeliner sharp enough to cut a man, that man being Roman, who I caught stealing from my makeup bag this morning

(On the sides GC)
Virgil: Okay so I just helped Patton get something off a shelf
And he called me his his
So out of instinct I just said "I thought Roman was your hero"
Roman: ....
Virgil: He started crying
Janus: ....
Virgil: What the fuck happened last episode?

Roman insulting people be like:
Roman: Urg, you are such an Emo Nightmare it's sickeningly adorable
Virgil: What did you just say?
Roman: I MEANT YOU ARE SUCH AN EMO NIGHTMARE IT'S SICKENINGLY AWFULABLE
Virgil: That's not even a real word Mr. Prom Queen wanna-be
Roman: Oh shut up-

Roman: You are stupid
Logan: I will Literally disintegrate your sword to ashes and throw your finest jewellery into a swine decomposition pile if you don't shut the fuck up this instant
Roman:........

Roman: Your opinion is st-
Patton: hm?
Roman: Startling! Astonishing! Great! Haha

Roman: You're an Cunt
Remus: Uno
Roman:
Remus: Go suck a cock
Roman: BITCH YOU BET I WILL, BIGGER ONE THAN YOU'LL EVER BE ABLE TO HANDLE ANYWAY
Remus: ARE YOU CHALLENGING ME TO AN ORAL COMPETITION?! BECAUSE I FUCKING BET YOU'RE GOING TO LOSE!
Roman: SAY THAT TO THE THROAT ACHE WE'LL BE HAVING TOMORROW AFTER THIS BULLSHIT ENDS, Oh wait-

Roman: Your name sucks
Janus: And so does your personality.
Roman: *Offended Princy Gasp* You-
(End)

Roman: WHY CAN'T WE BE A FUNCTIONAL FAMILY FOR ONCE?! AND WHY WON'T YOU STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR MACE?!
Remus: BECAUSE YOU SMELL LIKE ROSE CARMEL VOMIT AND I HATE YOU! -ALSO IT'S A MORNINGSTAR YOU IDIOT!

Logan: Janus, What are you doing?
Janus: I'm helping Patton look for his chocolate that I ate last night.
Logan: Why don't you just tell him?
Janus: Because I fear death.

Roman: Without ugly, there would be no beauty in the world.
Remus: Thank you for your sacrifice, Roman.