• • •

After he forced his feet to move, Elijah opened the car door, accepting the weight of Kensley's body as he confirmed what he already knew. Still, he hoped to find some sort of life. What he found was instead fresh blood on her shirt, which transferred to his shirt when he wrapped his arms around her.

It was on his fingers when he made the call, on his face when he couldn't stop rubbing it in an attempt to calm himself down– staining the seat that she was partially in.

"Sir?" The medic touched Elijah's shoulder gently, "I have to ask you to let us by."

He moved aside, watching them roll the gurney towards the car, "Can you tell us her name?"

"Kensley Parker."

"And you are?"

"Elijah Baker." He heard his voice, but it felt like he was having an out-of-body experience, watching them talk about what was happening rather than taking part in it, "Her boyfriend."

"What time did you get here?"

"I don't know what time it is."

The officer nodded her head, wanting to let the young man go to the hospital, but needing to get an official statement first, "When you got here was she breathing?"

They were examining the scene, making note of the fact that her purse was gone and mumbling about a robbery gone wrong.

"No."

"I'm sorry to have to ask this, but can you tell me where you were before coming here."

"I was with my therapist." Elijah blinked and finally looked at her, "I told her I'd come when I left my mama house but ended up going to him."

She smiled sadly and nodded again, "That's all for now. Thank you for your time."

He didn't want to be the one to call her parents, and he knew that was cowardly to make them get the call from the hospital, but he couldn't do it.

"Make it quick." Zi answered, "I'm tryna' see if my food growing legs and walking up outta here, or if these folks stealing from me."

"Kensley's dead."

The line went quiet, "Huh?"

"I found her in her car after a session with Dr. Thomas." Laughter bubbled in his chest, and he let it out, laughing loudly into the phone, "Imagine that shit. Going to see somebody to help you be better for the person you love, then coming to find that person gone."

"Where you at, Eli?"

"Onna way to Christian house."

"You not thinking this through– Go to the hospital, let it die down, then we can talk about it."

Elijah was shaking his head before Zi finished his sentence, "No. I tried being calm, and that don't work. Don't nobody listen– take you seriously until you start doing crazy shit. So that's what I'm finna do."

He didn't think he'd ever be calm again. Every time it seemed like he would be, it got taken away. More than fine with doing crazy shit, it seemed like that was the only way he'd be able to live a peaceful life was to do what he should've done a long time ago.

"You gone be calmer than a motherfucka' when they put ya' ass on death row!" Zi shouted, "Ian' saying don't do nun at all, I'm saying wait. You ain't even processed it yet and you tryna' move already. What hospital they taking her to? I'll meet you there."

Elijah relayed the hospital to Zi, who sighed, "That's the same one Jai at."

He hung up, and continued to drive, changing his direction to the hospital. He selfishly hoped that when he made it there, her parents would have already been notified.

How do you tell someone that their only child was dead?

Elijah didn't know how, and that was at the forefront of his mind, pushing the fact that he had walked into the building with her blood still on him. There stood an irate Mike, yelling at the nurse who had the unlucky task of explaining to him that they had to wait for someone to tell them what happened.

Kennedy noticed Elijah entering, her eyes falling on his clothes and taking an unsteady breath. She looked back up to his face and saw the look there, tugging on her husband's arm, "Mike."

"Wha-" He turned to look at Elijah– his shoulders dropped, "I was hoping..."

Elijah felt the same hope when he walked closer to the car, "I'm sorry."

"What happened?"

"They said a robbery." Elijah cleared his throat, "Her purse and shit was gone."

Mike couldn't respond even if he wanted to, clinging to Kennedy as they tried to console the other. It felt like a private moment, so Elijah turned to walk back outside, resting his back against the building.

That's where Zi found him, sighing again as he grabbed his arm and pulled him to his truck, "I don't have nun but work clothes in here." He threw Elijah a shirt with one of his restaurants' logos on it, making a face when Eli didn't move to put it on, "I know you ain't finna make me put it on you? I just be talking shit when I say you my son."

Elijah pulled the shirt he was wearing over his head, accepting the wipes from Zi to clean his face. Once he put the new shirt on, he looked down at it, "Happy to help with promotion for the company."

Zi didn't laugh, "You ain't gotta put on no front 'round me."

He knew that, but jokes were the only thing keeping him grounded. Without that, he found himself looking at the ground closing his eyes, and allowing himself to process the emotions.

There were no words exchanged, Zi just hugging Elijah until he was pulled away, "I'm sorry, Eli. Just focus on this right now— I got the other shit."

"I'ma do it. That man took everything I ever loved in my life away from me."

It wasn't until later that they learned it came from Marc, who found out what Eli had done from Christian.

Lauren hadn't uttered a word to Marc about what happened, but she told Christian during one of those car rides to the prison, thinking that she could confide in him, that he would see it from her and Elijah's point of view.

Laughable.

Christian told Marc the very same day.

• • •

They stood at the alter waiting for her to come down the aisle. Her mom was in the front row, smiling happily every time Elijah looked at her.

Ivory came first, ignoring all of the practice she had, dumping the whole basket of flowers and running towards her dad as fast as her chunky legs would carry her.

Zi laughed and lifted her into his arms, "That ain't how you was 'posed to do it, mamas."

"Lemme see her." Elijah took Ivory so that Zi's hands would be free, "I think you the best flower girl I ever saw."

He got a blinding smile in return, "Bess." Ivory made her body stiff when Eli tried to pass her to her grandma, "No!"

Zi's mom frowned, "Stop acting like somebody be doing some to you and come here."

"She good." Elijah laughed, "I'll hold her."

"Spoiling her tail rotten. We gone have a talk later." She waved her finger at Ivory.

Zi was shaking his head, "Don't be harassing my baby."

The priest cleared his throat as the violinist stood up to grab his instrument, and the pianist played the first chords of their cover of Ed Sheeran's song, 'Thinking Out Loud'. Elijah watched her fingers glide across each string, the touches, light– sounding deafening within the church.

She gave Eli a small smile and looked back the to keys so that she wouldn't ruin Maria's wedding day.

Maria then demanded his attention, her steps in tune with the notes. She was gorgeous, wearing a custom-made dress that took months of redesigning until she thought it perfect.

Mermaid fitted, a sheer bodice gave the illusion that the floral design was flush against her skin. Well-placed crystals glistened under the sunlight peering through the windows, and they led to a long train that trailed behind her.

When Maria reached the altar, Ivory angled her body towards Maria, reaching for her, "Mama!"

"Shhh." Elijah bounced her gently, "We gotta be quiet."

After Maria smiled in her daughter's direction, she looked up at Zi, still caught off guard by the love and adoration she found in his eyes.

3 years after having his child, and he still made her feel like a teenager— the reason behind her choosing that song.

Jailyn fanned at her eyes, trying to keep the moisture from spilling over. She looked towards Elijah and saw he was entertaining Ivory.

Anything to keep his mind off of him wishing that he was in Zi's shoes. It wasn't envy or jealousy. Wistfulness, mainly. 

He was happy for his brother and pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind so that his mood wouldn't be affected.

After the vows were said, Tracey approached them to state her congratulations again, speaking to Ivory that Elijah was still holding, but not speaking to her son.

Each time she ignored Elijah, he got more used to it. He didn't try to hide what he did to Christian from her—Marc either, and he wasn't extended the same forgiveness that Tracey had given her late husband.

So, she was only there for Zi and Maria.

To her credit, she went with the lie of the house burning down with Christian inside instead of telling what actually happened:

Elijah returned the favor of what Christian did to their dog.

The guests and wedding party left the church to go to the venue that would hold the reception, filing into their cars.

Zi kept giggling, sounding like his daughter and making Eli look at him, "Please stop."

"I's married ni'!" Zi shouted, snatching Ivory from Eli's hands, "Y'all gotta address me differently."

"Mrs. Zi Abrams." Eli was referring to Maria's last name.

He covered Ivory's ears, "Ain't no 'Mrs.' nowhere in me. I lays dick— Watch how I come back with 10 kids."

• • •

Elijah Baker

I laughed as Ivory ran in circles from one of the chickens in the backyard, watching her eventually make her way towards me and Jailyn.

"Now, why they bothering you?" I leaned down to pick her up, "Say, 'Bad chicken'."

She pointed her finger like her grandmother did earlier, "Bad shiken!"

Rayne was unfazed, allowing the chickens to eat out of her hand, happily sitting on the ground.

"How long are they gonna be in Greece?" Jai questioned.

"I think 2 weeks? Ivory only staying with me a week, though."

"What do y'all have planned? I'm taking Rayne to a waterpark or something tomorrow if y'all wanna come."

Ivory had gotten down from Elijah's arms to go mess with the chicken again, "Com'ere shiken."

"Kennedy and Mike having some lil barbecue thing– I told them I'd come."

Jai frowned, "Really? I wonder why they didn't invite me."

I didn't have an answer for her. When I was around Kensley's parents, we talked about a lot, but Jai was never one of the things that came up.

So, I shrugged "It's nun big. Just a couple people."

"Well... I'll be around. Let me know if you wanna do something."

Jailyn spent the majority of her days 'around', she went back and finished college, getting a job being a social media manager for a company that I'd never heard of until she worked there. She took Wendy's approach, promoting the company through a series of viral memes, and they blew up behind it.

Most of her job could be done from anywhere, so she hardly went into the office unless they had a meeting.

She went to take hold of Rayne's hand, her shift in mood obvious, "Tell them I said 'hey and thanks for the invite'."

"Just come if you feel like that. It's not that serious, Jai."

"If I wasn't invited, then clearly they don't want me there. I've probably talked to them twice since Kensley passed. At the hospital, and the funeral."

"Maybe you remind them of her? Ion' know but I wouldn't take it to heart."

"And you don't? But, whatever you say. I'll see you later."

Once she left, Ivory and I went back inside to see Lani sitting at the dining room table swiping on her phone. Since we got back from the reception, she hadn't said much. Lounging around the house and grunting every time anyone said something to her.

"What's wrong witchu'?" I asked, placing Ivory in her chair and getting juice out of the refrigerator.

She didn't respond to my question, asking her own, "Why you let her drink out of the jug?"

"She a baby. What's wrong?"

"I feel so... Blah. I don't have a word for it."

"Why?"

Lani tapped her fingers against the table, "Mama called me today."

"What she say?"

"I didn't answer. Then she texted me."

She went to the thread and handed me the phone. It was a picture of a wedding invitation.

I hadn't talked to Lauren since she left Lani at my house. She stayed in contact with her though, and I never asked what they talked about unless Lani brought her up, "Okay... You wanna go?"

Lani scoffed, "Why would I? How does a couple of weeks turn into years? I stopped asking when she was coming back, 'cause she obviously doesn't want to. And every time she calls, it's always about her– She never asks how school is going, what I'm doing, Just how much she's enjoying life now."

Lauren chose to lie to her daughter about how long she'd live with me. I didn't think it was right, and after a year, Lani caught on to the fact that she wasn't coming back anytime soon.

I didn't like bashing Lauren to Lani, since it was still her mama, saving all the shit I wanted to say, for Zi.

Between myself, Zi, and Maria, I thought she lived a carefree life. She got to be a normal 15-year-old, as normal as anyone whose dad was dead, and mom left, could be.

Dr. Moore helped with the transition after I damn near slung her into therapy when I was being nosy and caught her looking up the least painful way to commit suicide.

What a week that was.

"I wanna block her." Lani continued, "But it's a part of me that's waiting for her to call and say she's coming back, and I don't wanna miss that call."

"Then don't block her. Tell her how you feel. You ain't gotta go to the wedding, but you also don't have to cut all ties."

Ivory interrupted their conversation with an announcement, "Ivory want more juice."

"Ivory, you are Ivory. Stop talking about yourself in third person."

• • •

I rolled over in the bed, trying to fall asleep before giving up and staring at the ceiling. Waiting for Kensley to walk through the door, only I knew that wasn't happening.

Just silence.

I'd hoped for silence, but not this way. Not in the way that I'd never hear her voice again, touch her— nothing.

I wondered if it would've been different if I didn't feel the need to involve myself in everyone else's life, just for every one of those people to be gone.

There was a short knock on my door, "Yeah?"

"Hey." Lani opened it, playing with the hem of her shirt, "I called mama back."

"How'd it go?"

"I told her how I felt like you said, and she said I was being selfish. I should've waited 'til morning– Now I can't go to sleep."

Her sleeping pattern was sporadic anyway, and we usually ended up watching movies until she fell asleep.

"Pick a movie. I'll be down there inna minute."

She nodded and went downstairs while I grabbed my phone, responding to a message from the pianist. I waited a long time before attempting to get in another relationship, thinking it'd be fucked to start one when I still wasn't over Kensley.

It then occurred to me that I'd never be completely over her, and that was okay. The imprint she left on my life in that short span was unforgettable, the memories we had would take a lifetime to be erased.

Ironic, was how it seemed, that she made me a better person and wasn't alive to see it come into fruition. But that's who she was. Always giving, regardless of if she benefitted from the outcome.

Kensley was, and would always be, the love of my life.

Sandcastles

another 1 🥳

i truly appreciate y'all for reading this book 🥺 this was prob the longest it's ever taken me to complete one, so i'm vv grateful that y'all stuck around.

kensley makayla parker was my fav mc. literally cried. I debated for days on if i rlly wanted to do this bc ik y'all love hea's, but this is how the story had to end :( bye i'm finna cry again.

any questions, pls feel free to ask.

hope to see you all in any future books i write.

tay 🤍