• • •

I stared out of the window, waiting.

Elijah just sat there.

He was clearly uncomfortable, not that I was concerned with that. Had he said it the first time the opportunity presented itself, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

I didn't really care if he was married, I was more so upset that he took the option of me caring if he was married, away from me.

Because did it matter if it was just sex?

"I know I should have told you."

"So then explain why you didn't. You literally said, "I got married when I was 18". Did you forget to add the rest of it?"

He shifted in his seat, "That should tell you that I planned on doing it eventu-"

I reached for the door handle and Elijah quickly changed how he wanted to phrase his words, "I apologized Kensley. I don't know what else to do."

That posed the question of: What did I want him to do?

What did I expect him to do?

"I'm not a liar." Elijah continued, "I genuinely didn't expect for us to get this far. If you give me the chance, It'll never happen again."

"It can't happen twice. You got another wife I don't know about?"

He shook his head, "I barely got that one."

"Why not get a divorce? I'm not understanding the thought process at all."

"......I'd rather not talk about it."

The nerve and audacity.

"Goodnight, Elijah. Go home."

• • •

When I walked into my apartment, I noticed Jailyn sitting in her spot on the floor. I immediately knew something was wrong, "Hey Jai."

She just laid there.

I made my way towards her, sitting cross-legged on the floor, "What's wrong?"

"Coby dumped me."

"What?"

"Yep." She laughed bitterly, "He said he needs to focus on his career."

"What fucking career?"

"That's what I asked, then he got mad and said I never support him. I've been supporting him for years. The same niggas he sit up with every day wouldn't give him a fucking dollar. Clowned his music, all of that. I was the one using money my mama and them sent me to pay for weak ass studio sessions. I was the one who paid I don't remember how many fucking times when we went out, but I don't support him?!"

Jailyn's voice had grown louder through every sentence until she was yelling every word, tears running down her face. I tried to give her a hug but she stopped my arms, "Ken I really did everything. Like what the fuck?"

"They all trash. It's not like you no bum who don't got anything going for yourself. Fuck that nigga."

She cried harder, pushing her face into her hands, "That's not the point."

I didn't get the point.

Instead of making things worse, I just sat there until she took a deep breath and looked at the ceiling, "Let's go get drunk."

"I'ma agree 'cause that's the kinda friend I wanna be right now, but I feel like I gotta point out that you still gone be sad in the morning."

"So? Damn we talking about right now." She stood up from the carpet, wiping her face, "And why you look like somebody ran over your dog?"

I laughed, "Elijah is married chile. I hate it here."

Jailyn winced, "That's tough. Why the Lord brought him in your life if He wasn't gone let you keep 'em?"

"To test my salvation." I looked up, "Father forgive me for I plan on sinning again."

I made that decision while I was in the car, but I wanted him to tell me why he wouldn't divorce her. I didn't care if he did or didn't, but I wanted to know why he wouldn't.

Ms. Tracey made the comment about him not being over his wife and it wouldn't leave my head. If he was trying to fuck his feelings away, that was fine. But if he wanted to actually be with the wife, I wanted no parts.

"Not my friend ruining marriages. That's bad karma."

"Howwww?" I whined, "Legit he can go back when he gets ready. It's like... It's like when you let people play with your dog but the dog goes home at night? And you feed the dog and you know the dog loves you the most?"

She stared at me, "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

I sighed loudly, "You really think it's that bad? They not together Jai."

"Kenny, I'm not sure what you want me to say. You clearly got your mind made up." She shrugged, "So stand on that shit."

She mentioned karma, but where does the karma come in if I'm not doing anything wrong? I'm not married, he is. If he's lying about them being separated, how is that my fault?

Ignorance was bliss, and I wished Elijah's mama would've gotten her muffin and left.

"Go change your clothes so we can go."

I looked down, "I can't wear this?"

"Sis.." Jailyn closed her eyes, "I don't have the energy. Please just go put on a pair of biker shorts or some."

I waited until she turned around to throw a pillow at her head.

• • •

"That dude keep looking at you." Jai whispered in my ear, "Go make him buy us some drinks."

I looked in the direction that she meant and scrunched my face, "I'll be sober for the rest of my life."

We weren't sober at all, and the hookah gave us a floating feeling that made the fact that it was packed as hell, bearable.

My attention went back to Jailyn who was tapping at her phone. She eventually looked up, "You ready?"

"Didn't.. Didn't you just say some about some drinks?"

She pursed her lips, "Coby at the apartment. He wanna talk."

"Oh wow."

"The homewrecker passing judgment. Ya' hate to see it."

My mouth fell open in surprise, "I don't like that joke."

Our Uber came quickly, and Jailyn continued to text Coby for the duration of the short ride home.

This was the first major argument they'd had, and it explained why she took it so seriously, or so hard because she wasn't used to it.

I noticed that a small smile graced her face, and I tried to pinpoint the emotion that coursed through me.

By the time we got home, I'd figured out it was anger.

Coby had the ability to make or break Jailyn's day, his mood determining hers. I'd never cared before because they never had meaningful arguments.

But to see my friend have a breakdown, then hours later reconcile with the cause of the breakdown, made me angry.

I never wanted anyone to have that kind of power over me.

3:17 A.M

I pressed the contact and lie back on the bed, waiting.

"Hello?"

He didn't sound sleepy at all.

"You're up late." I stared down at my toes, wiggling them around, "What you doing?"

The sound of papers moving reached the phone, "I was probably finna go to sleep."

"Oh."

I turned my head to the side, letting the phone rest against my face. I didn't know why I called Elijah, but I was happy he was up.

"Her mama and them told her not to marry me..." He started slowly, the hesitance obvious, "We had just graduated so I see why. But we did it anyway, and they haven't said shit to her since the day she told them. I was in school and trying not to take money from Christian, so she worked instead of going to school to help us. Everything she did at first, was to help me."

When he first began speaking, his tone was engaged. The more he continued to talk, the more detached it became.

"Then she fucked her doctor after we lost our son."

I choked on my spit, quickly rolling over to catch my breath. There was no build-up, no warning, just a blunt statement.

"I said I wasn't gone lie, so honestly, Ion know why I haven't divorced her."

"When did all this happen?" I asked quietly.

"Going on a year."

And now I saw why his mama said she didn't think he was over her. If he was, there's no way she'd still be in the house. That made me think my earlier assumption of him looking for a way to escape his feelings was accurate.

So maybe I was just looking for an excuse anyway, but I saw it as a win-win for both of us.

I stifled a yawn, "What time do you have to go to work in the morning?"

"When I get there." He laughed.

"Come over here... I'll let you get under the covers this time."

I was never known for making good decisions.

• • •

🥴 i like kensley. do you?

thanks for reading 💕