【 ᴄ ᴏ ᴅ ʏ 】

One month before school had ended, Cody's heart had been shoved through a woodchipper.

He was bleeding, pain crowding the broken muscle and making it nearly impossible to beat. Still, Cody would smile. Cody would laugh. Cody would joke.

All of it was a lie.

Every movement, every ounce of false positivity, was just a shield to further protect himself.

And on the day before school ended, he fucked everything up even more. He ruined his relationship. Claire hadn't even acknowledged his existence the entire day.

"Claire, please, call me back," He whispered into the phone, trying desperately to keep the thick grief out of his voice. "I never meant to get upset. 'M sorry, okay?" The young man's voice grew louder, and the threat of anger intruding in his voice grew fiercer. "I'm sorry! I just..." a voice crack, and he was back to a whisper. "...let me explain."

Brokenly, he removed the phone from where it had been held up to his ear and concluded the voicemail. He didn't know how many he had left at that point, but his eyes stung from tears, and his voice was scratchy, so the answer was probably higher than Claire would like.

Pressing his back against the wall, the young man closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around his legs. The structure behind him brought on a warm feeling of comfort that he so hopelessly needed, but the emptiness of seeking comfort from a fucking wall brought on bitter upset.

In less than a day, he'd be trapped in a van, driving further and further away from the one person on Earth who needed him as much as he needed them. Not to mention, how could he keep the whole thing a secret for two entire months? What if he let something slip and lost the only friends he had left?

"Codes?"

Cody lifted his head up at the hoarse call, took a deep breath, and made his way toward the voice. "Coming, Dad," He answered, struggling to keep the quiver out of his voice.

The walk down the stairs and into the living room was short, only lasting a couple of seconds, but the dread made it feel like an eternity. Cody's father was on the couch, his tired eyes burning holes into the young man's tortured heart. It had only been a month, and his father looked like a completely different person.

Instead of being the man who made everyone laugh, Cody's dad was only a shell. His bones seemed to jut out of his skin, and his face held a lost, emotionless expression. When his father spotted Cody, his lips pulled back in what had to have been his attempt of a smile. Cody forced out a soft smile in return. "What do you need?"

His father's mouth opened, and he struggled against his exhaustion for a moment, "You need to sleep,"

Cody's eyes softened with guilt. Here his dad was, suffering like none other, and still, all the man cared about was his son. How was Cody supposed to leave for his friends knowing his father would never abandon him? "You first," he managed to tease, but he meant the words.

"I'm... not the one going on a road trip in the morning..." the father heaved. When Cody opened his mouth to object, to tell him that there was no way he was going, the older man held out his hand shakily to get Cody to silence himself. Cody's objection died in his throat at the motion. "Your sister's... coming out here. She'll watch me."

There was a fierce flicker at the openly accepted need for help, but the father didn't say anything else. Just fell back into the couch with a pained huff.

"Dad... I can't leave you..." As much as Cody wanted to go, his obligation to his father was too strong to just push aside. "Livie's great, but she can't take care of you like I can."

Olivia, Cody's sister, owned a business. She was busy. She was pregnant for God's sake! It would be wrong to thrust caring for their father upon her. She had to take care of herself.

A frustrated intake of breath made Cody freeze. His dad continued, his voice getting quieter, more breathy, by the minute. He was running out of the energy to talk. "Cody, you're going... I won't... let my cancer ruin... your life." His eyes blinked slowly, and if how tired he was wasn't already as clear as day, he broke into a yawn.

Tears flooded Cody's eyes. He knew what he wanted to say, but he couldn't bare to have that argument with his father again. They'd had it too many times already.

You need to go to a doctor.

His father would always dismiss Cody with a sigh, It's too late for that. I want to die at home, not rot in some hospital.

Finally, "Okay," Cody pulled himself together on the exterior, but another part of himself gave up internally. Just nod. Just smile.

Just lie.

Clearing a couple of feet to reach his father, Cody drew the blanket cast aside back on top of his father and stepped back. The man was asleep already. Cody's phone buzzed, insisting a spark of hope that Claire was calling him back, but when he read the contact, he deflated.

The line connected with a click, "Cody! You packed and ready to roll? I'll pick you up first tomorrow 'cause you're closest to me, do you think you can be ready to go by eight?"

Making his way upstairs, Cody forced himself to smile. Not for Ruairi, who wouldn't be able to see it anyway, but in an attempt to gather as much enthusiasm as he could and channel it into words. "Yeah! Of course!" It wasn't like he slept much these days anyway.

Ruairi screeched happily in the phone, forcing Cody to grimace and hold it away from his ear. "I'm so excited! I've got the RV and snacks and-" another happy scream. "This'll be amazing!" Her flood of optimism, instead of lightening the mood like usual, made Cody feel sick. How could she be so happy when he was so... not?

"Listen, I have to go pack," Cody was already packed. "I'll see you tomorrow. I'll be outside."

Right as the young man moved to hang up, Ruairi quickly kept the conversation going, "I could come in, though! I haven't been inside your house in ages!"

Thinking back to his father, Cody felt panic flash through him. "No! I mean, it's fine. Honestly, the house is a mess. I'll meet you outside." The call ended swiftly, and Cody took a steadying breath.

Of course he was excited. Two months on the road with friends sounded amazing.

He just didn't know if he had the right to go.