"The Demon is Born" by manigandanrmec follows Jack, a detective who is attempting to solve a cold case from the 1930s. Meanwhile, a string of more recent murders unveils an even deeper mystery - A demon may be involved.

The cover conveys a creepy atmosphere of mystery. I like the inclusion of the shadow figure as it leaves me wondering if it represents the protagonist, the demon or the murderer. The title font is clear, stylistic and legible. I did find the author's name a bit difficult to read (though I will always caveat this with the fact my eyes are terrible, so it could just be me).

The story begins right with the action. We're introduced to Jack, and the concept of a demon potentially being involved early on which adds an additional layer of mystery to the murder they're trying to solve. I liked that during the investigation, one of the officers alludes to rumours about the demon which subtly introduces the readers to it, and implies there have been similar cases in the past. However, the subject is dropped rather quickly and it isn't explored further why they suspect these murders were committed by a demon when there isn't any evidence to suggest a regular human couldn't have been the culprit.

I found some events of the story happened very quickly, and it was tricky to keep track of what was going on. There were a number of compelling suspenseful, and mysterious beats that whizzed by. If events were slowed down, and the descriptions in these scenes were zoomed in on and enhanced, the overall impact of the scene could be increased. I liked Jack's dream about the demon which served as a great way to show us more of the demon and Jack's involvement. That dream sequence has a lot of potential to be intensely creepy, however it is another instance where slowing down, and increasing description could enhance the over all impact and tone of a pivotal scene. There were a few interesting twists within the story that added dimension. Without saying spoilers, I liked the interaction between Jack and a stranger he gave a ride to and the resulting consequences. It added an intriguing layer to the story.

When we're introduced to Jack, he is originally called John. I was unsure if this was intentional, as Jack is technically a nickname for John, but this never comes up again and he is called Jack for the remained of the chapters I read. We're introduced to the remaining cast of characters in quick succession, which made it a bit difficult to keep track of who is who and their relationship to one another, and the over all events of the story.

Another element that added some confusion was the dialogue, and lack of dialogue tags throughout. I was also wondering why some chunks of dialogue were italicized while others were not.

Dialogue can be an effective tool for giving natural exposition, and there were areas in the story where this was done effectively, such as when we are introduced to Mahesh, and another character casually asks if he had recently returned from India. However, there were other instances where characters reminded each other of the city (New York) they lived in. As most people don't need to be reminded of which city they are in, a smoother way of conveying this to readers could be through thoughts, or having a character work it into small talk such as; "New york is always cold this time of year." Of course, these are only suggestions.

The overall mechanics of the chapters I read could be polished. I noticed a lot of misused words and punctuation, quotation marks placed inappropriately and tense shifts. The syntax could be rearranged for clarity in some areas as well.

The concept is compelling. I love darker urban -paranormal/ fantasy, as well as a murder mystery, so I think involving a potential demon in a murder investigation is rather interesting. Keep up the good work!

- Mandie