I had no idea where I was but I found myself standing in the middle of the most beautiful and serene meadow. It was kind of like the one that I took Yoongi and Cara to; although, instead of wildflowers dotting the green grass with pops of colour, this one was littered with fallen leaves in various shades of autumnal colours. I felt a pull while standing here, though I knew I'd never been here before; I've never been to a meadow that was beside a babbling brook before.

I walked down the slight hill towards the brook. The water looked so clear as it meandered, twisting around boulders, large rocks and even some old tree branches. The quiet, continuous sound of the water trickling past the obstructions was so relaxing; it reminded me of how Yoongi, Cara and I would sit on the back deck, snuggled up together as we listened to the summer rain.

This would be the perfect place to meditate – if my brain switched off long enough that is. Between the soft burbling waters and the various songs of the birds overhead in the many trees lining the creek, I felt much of my stress evaporate.

I set off again, the brook behind me as I wandered back up the hill. When I'd gotten here, I'd spotted a large dead tree that overlooked everything. Since I didn't know where I was, I thought I should try to get the lay of the land.

It took me a few minutes to make my way to the tree. It had looked small where I had first found myself here, but standing at the base of the trunk, I realised it would've been a proud and magnificent tree when it was alive; I could imagine the branches covered in leaves as they stretched towards the sky. But now, it stood bare and lonely, like a lanky skeleton forgotten while the rest of the world thrived around it.

I didn't want to climb the trunk if it was rotten, so with all of my might, I tugged and jerked the branches to see if there was any give. When I realised it was sturdy, I pulled myself up and onto the lowest limb. Using all the agility I had, I quickly made my way to the highest bough and looked over the meadow. Along with the creek I was at earlier and the hill the tree stood upon, there wasn't really anything else around apart from some woods quite a distance away. The meadow was desolate of life apart from me and some birds that I could hear singing to the sun.

Climbing down, I sat against the trunk while I caught my breath. I ran through everything I knew. "Okay Jiminie, let's think about this," I said out loud to myself.

"Where am I?" I looked around and noted what I saw. "I'm in a strange meadow with no signs of life, but at least there is access to fresh water. There are no landmarks that I can use to identify where I am. There are no roads, nor are there any houses."

"What can I hear?" I closed my eyes and focussed on what I could hear. "There are birds in the trees and some flying overhead. There is a rabbit or two eating grass, and there are some deer in the woods. There are no sounds of cars or civilisation."

I slumped against the tree. I thought by doing that exercise that I would be able to find out where I was, but all that ended up happening was I became more depressed since it felt like I was the only person in the world at the moment.

I weighed up my options. I could stay here in the meadow; at least I had access to water and I could always hunt rabbits for food. Or I could try and find a road or a house. I stood up and began walking.

It was better for me to keep moving rather than stay here. I might not have known what was out there, but I did know that there was no form of shelter here. I made my way towards the forest, which turned out to be much further away than I had originally thought.

I guess I'm not as good as I thought I was at eyeballing distance from the top of a dead tree. Cara would be able to; she's so good at everything.

As I walked, I noticed the landscape changed slightly. The grass became longer and dotted with seed heads. The wind had picked up, howling through the trees like a pack of wolves, as it carried dried leaves from the woods out onto the grass.

Seeing all the leaves on the ground made my heart pang. Yoongi and I loved running through the autumnal leaves, jumping and scaring each other as we hid in the middle of large piles. My animal form was itching to be let out so I could go running through the leaves. I went to unbutton my dress shirt when I noticed I was no longer alone. In my peripheral vision, a pair of tiny feet stood barefoot in the grass.

I turned around and jumped, shrieking in shock. There before me were two hybrid children. I must've been so focussed on looking around me to hear anyone approach me. I took a moment to take them in. They both looked to be a similar age, but one was slightly older than the other. If I had to hazard a guess, I'd put them both at about 10 years old.

I could tell the slightly older one was a male Arctic fox kit, his white tail and bushy ears were identical to mine. The girl beside him looked to be a feline hybrid based off her fluffy grey ears; her tail was hidden and out of my sight so I couldn't determine her breed.

She has the same ears as Yoongi. God, I must be really missing the cat to be imagining this.

I walked towards the pair, stopping when I was a couple of metres from them. I smiled as I came to rest on a bended knee, making myself to be the same height as them. It was always one thing rookie cops were taught when dealing with children: always try to be the same height so they didn't feel like you were a threat.

"Hi," I said softly, smiling in a way I hoped was not creepy. "Where are your parents? Are you lost? I'm a policeman and I can help you find them." I took out my ID wallet, opening it so they could see my photo and badge.

The kitten smiled and shook her head. She had a beautiful gummy grin that was so much like my platonic mate's. She looked so much like him, and seeing her fluffy grey tail sweep along her side only cemented my thought. The only difference between the two was that this kitten had the same eyes as my mate.

It can't be, can it?

I turned my head sharply to look again at the kit standing in front of me. His hybrid features were so much like mine and his face was the perfect blend of Cara and me. He even had the same chubby cheeks I did; I took in how they pushed his eyes into crescents as he smiled and nodded as if he could read the thoughts that were going through my head.

"You're... how... what...?"

The kit laid his hand on my shoulder. A wave of calmness flowed through me just from that simple touch. It was like my body and soul knew who these children were, even if my brain was slow on the uptake.

"We're here to tell you that you have to fight," the kit said, his voice the second most beautiful thing I'd ever heard. "Mama needs you to fight for your life." Cara's voice would never be beaten in terms of loveliness, but this little boy's one was just a fraction behind hers.

"Our brothers and sisters also need their father to fight so we can all come into the world," the kitten finished for her brother.

Tears streamed down my face.

I can't believe two of my young are here. They're so perfect, so beautiful just like their mother. Fuck, I miss my mate so much. Where is she?

"Look at you two. You're both so beautiful," I whispered, stroking their soft cheeks. I didn't know why they were here, but I had my two children standing in front of me and I didn't want to waste any time thinking about trivial things. "Wait, what do you mean 'brothers and sisters'? Are you two not my only young? Are you telling me we will have a big family?"

"Jimin!" the kitten said with the cutest little growl that made me laugh at how much she looked just like her mother right now; Cara was always so freaking adorable whenever she was annoyed. "We don't have time to go into that right now." She sighed in the same exasperated way Yoongi did. "You're dying right now and if you don't fight, everything will change!"

"None of us will be born if you die," the kit said softly. He looked so sad and it hurt me to see my young like this. "Mama won't survive if she loses you. She needs both our Daddy and Papa for any of us to come into the world."

The thought of anything happening to my young or my mate had my blood freezing in my veins. I would never survive if I lost Cara and I could see now that she would be the same if I died. Ever since I was a little kit and seeing my parents so in love with each other, all I wanted was to be a good man. I didn't care what my job was when I grew up; finding my mate and bringing cute little kits into the world was my biggest dream. To hear that all those dreams might be in jeopardy hurt more than the gunshot wounds I'd sustained.

"How... how do I fight?" I asked, wiping my nose on my sleeve. Thinking about my mate in pain if she lost me, and the fact my young might not come into the world, had my cheeks wet with tears. "Please, tell me how I... how I fight for all of us... for you, for your m-mama, for Yoongi, for me."

"It's the easiest thing you will ever have to do," the kit said, wiping my cheek with his small thumb as his sister did the same on the other side.

"You just have to wake up," she finished.

"But I just got here," I pouted, not wanting to leave my two children. "I want to spend time with you both, hold you and not let go until I have to."

"If you don't wake up now, it's going to be too late," my feline daughter said with tears welling. "Please. Please... wake up for me."

"If you fight and wake up, we will have a lifetime where you can get to know us all. You'll have our whole lives to give us and our siblings as many hugs and kisses as you want," the mini-me said powerfully. "But you have to wake up for that to happen. You stay here, we all die; you, us two, and our siblings."

I nodded slowly, sniffling as I got to my feet.

I needed to fight, not just for me but for everyone I loved. I would do whatever it took to make sure that the futures of these two precious children would happen, along with their brothers and sisters. The image of my mate came through my head and all I wanted to do was hold her in my arms again. I needed to live so I could tell her I loved her.

So I could have kits with her.

So I could kiss and hold her until we both grew old.

A pain radiated through my chest and I knew time was running out. Pulling both of my children into my arms, I kissed them each on their heads whispering, "I love you both, and all your brothers and sisters. I can't wait to meet you."

My heart soared hearing their little voice saying they both loved me. A tear of happiness streaked down my cheek hearing the name my children had given me; I couldn't wait until I heard them call me that again.

"Goodbye, my little lights of my life. I love you," I whispered before I closed my eyes. I thought of my body, of my mate, of Yoongi. I thought of living, of breathing, of feeling.

Of waking up.

The warmth of the meadow morphed into a cold place that smelled like disinfectant, sadness and death. I opened my eyes to find I was in a sterile hospital room, floating above my body. It was so much worse than I could have ever imagined. My body was lying on an operating table, chest open. I could see my own heart beating, something I never thought I'd ever witness.

I could tell I was at Sanctuary since it was Dr Rosé Park who was operating on me. I'd met the trauma surgeon whilst conducting interviews for the case. I was thankful it was her table I was on since she was the best surgeon in all of Samta. 

As I watched the surgeon work, a whimper outside the room caught my attention; the sound hit me hard, right to my soul. Gripping hold of the sound like it was a string, I followed it until my heart broke at the sight at the end of the line.

There, in a small waiting room, were all the people I loved most. My parents and brother were there, tear tracks on their faces as they tried to comfort my friends The heart wrenching sound that had called me here were the cries of my mate as she sobbed uncontrollably into Yoongi's side.

I floated down so I was kneeling in front of Cara. I tried to touch her cheek, to wipe away her tears away and comfort her but I found I was not corporeal.

"My beautiful little mate," I whispered, hoping she could hear me in some way. "I'm here, Darling. I'm fighting for you. For Yoongi. For me and most of all, for our young."