Samus had a bit to much to drink one night

You, Mario and Snake were playing cards 

Mario: Damnit

Snake: Fuck

Y/n: WOO i won again bitches s-

that's when samus walked into the room, naked

Samus: h-hey boys

You see a beer bottle in her hand

Y/n: Oh my fucking god

Snake: She's drunk again

Y/n: AGAIN?

Mario: yep, she drinks a lot

Y/n; that explains the text she's been sending me while i was bounty hunting

You open your phone and see a bunch of pictures samus sent you, of her nudes

Snake: Damn

Y/n: Dude what the fuck

Mario: Really Snake

Snake: What, hey i'm better then falcon

Y/n: what's wrong with falcon

Mario: Well.....

Captain falcon walks in to see Samus Naked

Captain Falcon:

https://youtu.be/P3ALwKeSEYs

Mario: He's a bit of a pervert

Y/n: AY GET OFF MY GIRL

You quickly pull out your guns and start shooting at him

Captain Falcon: Who is this guy?

Snake: Y/n L/n

Captain Falcon: The Bounty Hunter?

Mario: Yep, and also the boyfriend of Samus

Captain Falcon: Well i'm still going to fuck her

You grab him by the throat

Y/n: LISTEN HERE YOU SON OF A BITCH, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT OR I WILL RIP YOU'RE SPINE OUT OF YOU'RE ASS 

Mario and Snake:*Clapping*

Captain Falcon: i will murder you're ass

You pick up Captain Falcon by his neck, and he's off the ground

Y/n: Stay..... away.... from.......her

You put him through a table

Mario and Snake: DAMN

Samus: Babe, can i talk to you in private

She has trouble walking, so you pick her up and take her to her room and set her on the bed

Samus:...can i say something

Y/n: what is it

Samus: i....wanna marry Y/n

Y/n: WHAT

Samus: Shh don't tell Y/n, Zelda

Y/n: Zelda?

You then look on the counter and see 13 beer bottles, Gone

Y/n: Holy shit......Babe you are WAY to drunk

Samus: If i have sex with you will you keep a secret

Y/n: Nevermind, i'm listening Darling

Samus pulls you in very close and whispers in your ear

Samus: I want to have kids....