j a i m e e

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TRIGGER WARNING: violence, harassment, mention of racial slurs

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I stumble into the kitchen the morning after our emotional session. My face lights up as I notice Tory already perched on the counter top, not surprised in the slightest that he'd come back again.

But I am pleasantly surprised to see a bottle of kombucha in his hand, a major difference to the bottle of vodka that he tends to have with him.

"Did Shayden ever tell you how we met?"

Tory looks up from the bottle. His khaki green hoodie practically swallows his body whole but it's a refreshing sight. His humbleness, despite his family's wealth, will always be one of my favorite traits of his.

"Said he'd known you since Pre-K."

"I guess that's true." I jump up onto the counter top next to him, after finding a bottle of unopened water in the refrigerator. "We've always gone to school together, but we were never close until 8th Grade."

This is a story that I need to tell while it's fresh in my mind and doesn't hurt as much to remember. Tory deserves to know, especially having to deal with two emotional breakdowns last night.

"He was jumped one day after school. Taylor must've been at soccer practise or something and I'm not sure about his other friend. All I remember was hearing him shout and seeing a group of older boys just hurting him. No one bothered to help." My eyes flicker upwards when Tory rests his hand on my knee softly.

"You don't have to tell me."

I just shake my head, continuing. "I got involved and we fought them off until a teacher arrived. We went back to his home and cleaned each other up. We became friends quickly. It was just me and Libbie, and him, Taylor and another boy so our friend groups merged too. The day we met properly just became a distant memory. Until the last day of 8th grade. Taylor and Shayden had ended up in detention so Libbie and I were waiting outside the gates for them when the same boys who attacked Shay all them months ago showed up, but there was more this time."

Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I try to ignore the terror that consumed me on that day from reoccurring. The moment I noticed them heading towards us, I knew they weren't back for Shayden. "I told Libbie to run but she ignored me, sending Taylor a text before two of them grabbed her. They said some stuff to both of us and I said stuff back even though it was stupid and just annoyed them further. But I was never raised to keep my mouth shut. Everything's a blur after that-"

Sensing my hesitation, Tory removes his hand off my knee and holds my hand instead. I jump at the contact at first, startled, before squeezing his hand gently and continuing with my story. Getting touched off anyone normally freaks me out, but Tory's become such a good friend that the need to panic is submerged by appreciation and comfort.

"The first hit went to my ribs, and I hit back. The second time was my nose. The third time, I don't remember."

That's a lie. I remember every single hit. Every slap. Every punch. Every kick. I remember them all, because I can't forget. At first, it was all a blurry haze. The psychologist at the hospital said that forgetting every aspect that happened was a common occurrence in trauma victims, which I apparently was. But it all came back eventually. If I start to forget again, the nightmares of that night remind me. I don't even get nightmares of the night I was raped, but that day doesn't seem to leave. The memories claw at me, seep into my dreams until I'm awakened, gasping for air and my entire body aching as if it'd just happened again.

But I can't tell anyone this. Taylor and Libbie know that it still haunts me but I won't talk about it. They'll ask if I'm okay but otherwise they won't mention it.

I prefer it this way.

"Libbie was screaming, begging them to stop. She said I stood up for around 5 minutes as they took turns to hit me, I didn't fall. They were calling me all types of names. Spic, brownie, slut. I remember shouting stuff back at them, calling them cowards. It just angered them more. It hurt like hell, and I remember someone grabbing my throat and squeezing until I thought I was going to die."

I let go of Tory's hand, but he's reluctant at first to release his hold. I grab the hem of my sweater before I have the opportunity to hesitate, pulling it over my head until I'm just in my tank top. Tory's eyebrows furrow, his eyes unsure of where to look as I turn around, angling my body slightly so he can see my right arm.

"They threw me down, literally forced me onto the ground. There was broken glass everywhere and they'd dragged me onto the bottle pieces. Laughing as I cried, the feeling of glass embedding into my skin was worse than anything else they did. And they kicked me, forcing me down on it further until I was bleeding everywhere. One of them picked up a big piece of it and cut across my arm countless times until my white tee was red. Libbie was crying, begging them to stop but they didn't listen."

I hear Tory shuffle, before hearing a quiet, "Can I?"

My eyes fluttered shut. I nod. His fingers are cool against my skin as he traces the raised skin along my back, before moving to the scars running across my tattoo. His touch is so gentle, as if he's scared he'll break me if he presses down too hard.

"Shayden and Taylor came out of the school and ran over to us. The two boys holding Libbie were out cold instantly, she said. They both ruined the boys surrounding me. Taylor tried to stop the bleeding and was hysterical as he called for an ambulance. He took his shirt off, pressing it against the wounds on my arm and back to try and stop the blood flow. I remember looking up and seeing Shayden fighting four of them. Whether it was the anger at what had happened or the boxing lessons he'd taken since the jumping, they were all on the floor instantly. Once everyone was down, he took care of the ringleader and nearly beat him to death. He probably would've if the paramedics and police didn't show up, and then all Shay cared about was me."

I left a few parts out. Like how Taylor cried and Libbie lay down next to me and held my hand, making me promise I wouldn't leave them. I was so disoriented, on the verge of passing out.

Like how Shayden stayed in the ambulance with me, begging me to stay awake and keep fighting.

Like how Remi thanked Shayden by promising him anything he ever wanted. Swore he'd protect him like a brother so nothing like this would ever happen again.

Like Libbie, Taylor, Remi, Shayden and my parents sitting in the tiniest waiting room for 28 hours straight, through two surgeries and blood-poisoning scares and the entire anxiety that any hospital would evoke in a worried family.

"They got all the glass out, stitched me up and let me leave. The ringleader's dad visited me in hospital, asked me not to press charges in return for them paying all my medical fees and for them to not press any charges for the damage Shayden did. Which was a lot worse than what was done to me."

With all the courage within me, I manage to look up and meet his warm gaze. "I wanted to tell you, just so you knew that no matter what battles you face, we face them together. We'll always have your back too, Tory. You're not on your own."

"You're so strong." He says in awe, mouth slightly open. "Jaimee, you're so strong and you should be proud of yourself for getting through that."

"He's right, you know."

Amongst my storytelling ways, I hadn't noticed Shayden joining us. He's leaning on his bedroom doorway, arms crossed around his broad chest.

"And she's right too," He adds, taking a few steps forward and wrapping his arms around my waist. "We've got each other now."

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"Do you think I could fit this entire thing into my mouth?"

My eyebrows furrowed in disgust at Tory's words as he stared down lovingly at his burger, which was massive.

Shayden's lips tugged up, his arm resting loosely around my shoulders. "Dare you."

"Fuck it." Tory mutters, picking it up and trying to force it into his open mouth.

Shayden's fist was to his mouth as he tried to stop himself from laughing while I just watched in revulsion.

To my utmost surprise, Tory manages to get most of it in before giving up. I turn away as he chews it, food spewing all of the table as he starts to laugh.

"How the fuck did you manage to do that?" I ask immediately after his mouth is empty.

"Practise, doll." He winks at me, a smile tugging up his lips as I just shake my head.

"That's disgusting." I fake retching, before shrugging Shayden's arm off my shoulder and standing up. "I'll be back in a minute."

I excuse myself to go to the restroom, diverting away from the group of men standing at the counter. It didn't help that the female restroom was right next to them.

After I've finished, I wash my hands and check that my hair hasn't frizzed up.

I walked out of the bathroom, shaking the excess water off my hands.

Just as I go to walk past the diner counter, someone's arms wrapped around my waist in a tight embrace. Panic hit me instantly and I started thrashing against this person, extending my elbow as my fight or flight survival instinct kicked in. "Don't fucking touch me."

I swirled around, panting and stumbling back as I turned to see an unfamiliar man staring at me. The look in his eyes was awfully like Cameron's was that night, and it burned at something deep inside me as he smirked, amused by my response.

"Playing hard to get, Sweetpea?" He grins, showing his slightly discolored teeth. I shuddered, "Well you're lucky I like 'em feisty."

Just as I went to make a snappy comment, I ended up in another embrace. Fear poured into my stomach and I felt sick, trapped. But this time, the smell of their cologne was awfully familiar and I found myself relaxing instead of fighting to get away. I looked up, but Shayden's eyes were already fixated on to the man in front of me. Tory was hovering closely behind us, a hard glare seeming foreign on his usual gentle features.

"Is there a problem?" Shayden clicked his tongue, jaw clenched and lips twitching into a frown that he couldn't contain.

The man's snide smirk just widened, "What can I say? Girl's got a fat ass, hard to keep my hands off."

From the look in his eyes, he was well aware that his words were fuel to an already brimming fire. I picked up on the instant shift in Shayden's expression, my boyfriend's volatile temper somehow managing to darken his already black eyes.

But to my utmost surprise, Shayden laughed. He pulled me out of the way, his muscles tightening as his fingers curled into a fist and lips curling into an animalistic snarl as he drove his fist into the man's face.

The first thing I noticed was how the man's eyes rolled into the back of his head. The second thing I noticed was the blood staining Shayden's now uncurled hand.

"Holy shitballs." Tory whistled, not hesitating to grab both of our hands and drag us out of the diner.

Once the cool air hits us, I melt into Shayden's open arms. Inhaling his scent deeply as his hands run along my back, soothing my still pounding heart.

"I'll never let anyone hurt you." He said softly, "You're okay. You're safe- he's gone."

I nodded against his chest, struck with gratitude.

"Are you alright?" Tory asked me, "What did he do?"

"He just grabbed me. He put his arms around me an-" The words failed me. I couldn't help but think I was overreacting because he didn't actually do anything but touch me.

Regardless, Shayden tightened his grip and leaned his head onto the top of mine. "I've got you."

As we got into Tory's car, a thought crept into my head, as loud as the sound of the car door slamming shut and Tory complaining at Shayden that he'll damage his 'baby'. I felt my chest tightened as I settled into the backseat, strapping my seatbelt and eyebrows furrowing as I noticed Shayden is next to me.

"I'm sorry for overreacting and shouting." My throat was tight but the words slipped out anyway, "I didn't mean to worry you or Tory. It really wasn't worth you getting annoyed about it."

Tory had started the car, the engine of the Tesla humming but I could see him staring at Shayden and I through the rear-view mirror. I was avoiding looking directly at Shayden, but I could feel his gaze on me.

"What?"

"I'm sorry." I bit the inside of my lip, relaxing as the pain in my palm as I dug my nails in as much as possible.

"Why are you- Jai, hey." Shayden touched my arm softly, pulling me gently until we're facing each other and one of his hands is covering both of mine. He lowered his voice, dark eyes on me and eyebrows knitting together in confusion. "Whatever voice is in the back of your head saying that you were overreacting? Please tell it to shut the fuck up."

I let out a small laugh despite my eyes widening in amazement. It always seemed weird how easily Shayden could read me.

"Stop overthinking it," He whispered, the look in his eyes understanding and compassionate. "He put his hands on you without your consent, and he scared you. That's not okay. I'll KO him again if I see him."

"Okay." I whisper to him, closing my eyes as I leaned my head down onto his chest.

He kissed my forehead, arm wrapping around my shoulder as I took a deep breath. "Okay, baby."