Samaina OS - Lets Breathe Again!


Naina was pacing in her room like an angry cat... cat because she did not believe that she deserved to be compared to a tigress or lioness given her behaviour of the last few months, especially the last couple of weeks since this Sharad situation had arisen.

Sharad had shown up earlier in the evening with a collection of aunts who wanted to look her over and decide if the family had chosen the right girl for their prince-like-nephew. Naina was in no mood to be paraded in front of some new members of his family every day. Had she not already been presented to the family during the Teej celebrations in the temple?! In an attempt to protest against this new meet and great event, she had told Sharad that her foot was hurt, and she was unable to walk properly. Well, it wasn't a complete lie as she had sprained her ankle slightly during the day in the college, but the sprain wasn't so bad that she had to limp.

Naina blushed slightly remembering how she had hurt herself. She had seen Sameer and Shoe-naina walking towards the back of the college and her heart had started hammering wondering what they were up to. She just had to know! Was he taking her to their spot? Oh Lord... please not that! She had muttered some excuse and bolted towards to stairs hoping to catch a glimpse of where they were heading from the upper balcony. In her haste she did not see a transparent plastic bag lying by the stairs and lost her footing. When her friends and Preeti questioned her where she was rushing off to, Naina had been too mortified to admit the truth and pretended that she was in a lot of pain to divert their attention. She had continued her pretense on reaching home to avoid any suspicions from arising in Preeti's mind.

Well it seemed this sprain was going to come in handy, thought Naina. But Sharad was adamant that she should come out and pay respect to his elders. Once outside the ladies noticing her limping stared making various sarcastic remarks. They started questioning Sharad's mother why they had rushed into making this alliance as the girl seemed to be handicapped. When his mother tried explaining, the ladies refused to accept the reason and observed that the girl's family must be giving a huge dowry. Sharad was perturbed hearing this and asked Naina to show everyone that she could walk properly. Naina just started at him dumbfounded wondering which part of her foot being hurt and her not being able to walk had he not understood? Chachaji also seemed quite disturbed by his lack of understanding.

Once Sharad and his family left, Chachaji had expressed his dissatisfaction to Taiji and Tauji. He felt that something was not right with the family and thought they would not treat Naina with the consideration she deserved. Tauji just shook his head and said that at the end of the day it was Naina's fate that would determine how happy or unhappy she turned out after marriage. As far as they were concerned they were doing everything with the right intentions. Taiji had tried to make light of it and had instead lectured Naina on how she should stop running around now and learn to act as a grown up. She threatened Naina that they might have to consider stopping her going to the college if this sort of irresponsible behaviour continued. Naina once again realised that for most of her family she was a responsibility they wanted to get rid of as soon as possible, while the others surrendered like mutes. What happened after did not matter to them. And the one person to whom her happiness had mattered, she had pushed away.

Naina was absolutely fuming as she lay in her bed later that night. She asked God for the hundredth time what she had done to deserve this Sharad? A tiny voice in her heart answered that she knew it only too well... she deserved not only this but so much more pain for what she had put Sameer through. This was the Lords poetic justice. She had been blessed with a prospective groom who was apparently one in a million! And his audacity! He had tried to hold her hand just before leaving today. He had come to her room to say goodbye and had placed his hand on her hand. Naina had instantly snatched it away in shock and disgust, which he had mistaken for shyness. Naina internally ranted, what made him think he could touch her or hold her hand? He had known her for just over a week now, her Sameer had first held her hand after knowing her for 10 month and 12 days and only after seeking her permission. She conveniently forgot the time when Sameer had held her hand and tried to kiss it after the Romeo-Juliet drama, after all a lot gets forgotten and forgiven in love.

The next day Sharad called up her Taiji and took permission to take out for dinner as some of his cousins were visiting from out of town and he wanted to introduce Naina to them. Taiji was initially hesitant, but when Sharad reassured that his Bhabhi would be with them too, she agreed and directed Naina to get dressed in a saree. When Sharad arrived to pick her up seeing her in a saree he asked her to change into a Shalwar Kameez as it was just them youngsters. Naina tried to protest saying the elders in her house would not like it, but he insisted. Taiji who was watching this conversation quickly changed her colours and sided with Sharad instructing Naina to change saying it his wishes that should matter to her most now.

Sameer ended up in the same restaurant with his family. Seeing Naina there with a boy he guessed to be her would-be, Sameer almost walked out of the restaurant but then forced himself to sit there trying to show her how he was indifferent to whatever she did in her life now. Naina who had been too uncomfortable with Sharad's behaviour and his authoritative approach, did not notice any other people in the restaurant including Sameer. She sat there all through the meal her eyes focused on either her plate or replying to queries from his cousins in as few words as possible. 

At some point Sharad offered her his cold drink which Naina declined as politely as possible saying she had a bad throat. Later he asked her to try the Baingan Bharta dish which was his personal favourite. Naina who never ate Baingan declined stating that it was one vegetable that she did not like at all and never ate. Sharad started insisting that it was the best dish here and she should try some, he tried feeding her some with his hands which Naina was not ready for and it fell on her clothes. Sharad then lost his cool and started telling her off in a loud voice, while his Bhabhi tried to calm him down. Naina sat through all this trembling in her chair a little out of fear and little out of anger.

Sameer watched all seething, while Munna tried to hold him in his chair. On one hand a small part of him was happy to see that she was not happy with this new person in her life, a punishment that he felt was justified. After her had cast him away for her family, this is how her family had rewarded her! But on the other hand, he felt like the right to punish her belonged to him only. How dare some arbitrary guy try to force her to drink or eat something she didn't want? How could some third guy raise his voice at his Naina? Who the hell did he think he was?! Sameer muttered some excuse and exited unable to watch her getting humiliated any more.

Naina fell asleep late that night still angry and cursing her stars when that Chumpu had seen her. How she wished that for once her Taiji's forecast for no guy liking her due to her plain looks had come true. 

That night she dreamt of a wedding pandal and saw herself approaching it anxiously expecting to see Sharad sitting there waiting for her, instead she saw Sameer and Shoe-naina sitting there and work up in a cold sweat. Naina tossed and turned for the rest of night refusing to fall asleep too scared of seeing that dream again.

The next day in the college cafe while sitting with Preeti and Swati, Sameer and Shoe-naina entered the café and settled on the table opposite. Naina despondently watched them chatting and laughing. As much as she tried to stop her eyes kept travelling to them. The dream from last night had left her on the edge. And then Shoe-naina laughing reached out for Sameer's cold drink bottle. 

Naina felt like everything was happening in slow motion. Her emotions changed from hopelessness to misery to horror and finally rage in a matter of milliseconds. She did not realise when she charged towards them and grabbed the bottle and threw in on the floor. The loud crash caught her by surprise too along with everyone else. Realising what had happened Naina just stormed out of the café without uttering a word. Sameer looked at the broken pieces of the bottle, Shoe-naina's startled face and followed Naina as anger started clouding his mind. As Preeti tried to follow, Swati quickly pulled her back.

Naina ran away from the café tears of rage and humiliation blinding her. What had she done? Why had she created such a scene in the café? Sameer was going to be so mad at her! Only she knew how she had managed to keep her emotions and reactions under control every time she saw them together. After all she had made the decision to break-up with him and had asked him to move on with his life, so what right did she have to question his actions now? But seeing some other girl about to drink from his bottle something had snapped inside her.

Tauji's words from the day before had been ringing in her ears. They were all ready to leave her to fight her way through life in the name of fate. So why shouldn't she fight for at least what she had really wanted for herself? But wasn't it too late for that already? There was no THEM left to fight for. He had moved on.

Without realising Naina headed to the abandoned classroom at the back of the building which was used for storing extra or broken desks and chairs. It had been a spot that Sameer sometimes pulled her to for some quiet moments together. As she entered the classroom, Naina collapsed unto on the benches and started crying with her head down on the desk. Everything had gone so horribly wrong and kept getting worse. She felt like she was unable to breath anymore, the walls kept closing in from all directions.

Sameer stood in the doorway holding his breath, clenching his fists and jaws. How dare she! Did she think he was her pet puppy to be summoned whenever she felt like it and he would come running? Did she think her tears mattered to him anymore? He was finally finding a way to learn to live again. Did she think she could keep dictating what choices he should make for himself? He did not need her validation. He was free to create whatever mess he wanted of his life. And he had been upfront with Sunaina, she knew that he wasn't promising a bed of roses and that she would never be the first in his life. He was no longer looking for a soulmate. And he did not have any space in his life for these tears and dramas.

Sameer walked to Naina and roughly shook her by the shoulders demanding to know what she was up to now. He started hurling all the questions that had been running through his mind just a moment ago. "Are you out of your mind? Who do you think you are to interfere between me and Sunaina?" Naina refused to look up at him, but tried to stifle the sound of her sobs just gently rocking in place. Sameer screamed at her again "Stop with all these tears, I am not interested. Go and show your to-be all these tricks!" As he said this the image from the restaurant of that guy telling her off flashed in-front of his eyes and left him even more angry.

"Sorry..." Naina whimpered. Sameer look at her in disdain. So now after months of silence she wants to apologise he thought. Suddenly a thought came to him and he felt that he could see everything crystal clear. Looks like the behenji had realised what a huge mistake she had made and wanted to come back. Well she could keep dreaming! 

"Sorry for what Naina?" he almost barked. "For what just happened in the café... I promise I won't do it again... please forgive me..." Naina replied between sobs trembling a little. Sameer almost laughed out in scorn, thinking just as he expected she was asking for his forgiveness and wanted to come back. Naina continued "I promise I won't trouble you or her... I will make sure you won't have to see me again..." 

The last statement caught him by surprise. Suddenly a part of his anger was replaced with unease almost bordering on fear. What did she mean? Naina continued in a dull almost whisper "I am sorry for all the pain I have caused you. I truly believed that this pain now would save you from a bigger one in the future. I don't know if I was right or wrong. (after a small pause she continued in a slighter calmer tone) I will let Taiji know that I don't think there is any point in me continuing college now. I am sure she will be happy to let me stay at home." 

Feeling his chest tighten, Sameer spat out "And do what?!" Naina felt a little confused. She hadn't really thought about that, all she was thinking was how to stay out of his way and save him more grief and (if she was completely honest with herself) of course her too. Naina mumbled "I don't know... I guess learn more of the housework... cleaning... cooking..." 

Sameer sniggered "Don't forget to learn how to make Baingan Bharta." Naina looked up at him finally with a confused look "But you know I hate Baingan..." Sameer continued "Yes, but I think your to-be likes it, right?" Naina couldn't comprehend where he had found out about this from and just started at him with a pained look. 

As if trying to make the most of this one last chance Sameer went on "Well, if nothing else you definitely know how to make really good Aloo Parathas. I am sure he will definitely enjoy those." Naina felt like she had been burned. She stood up steadily meeting his gaze and in a loud clear voice laced with anger "I swear, I will die rather than ever cook an Aloo Paratha for anyone else." 

Sameer countered "Even if they are his favourite and he orders you to cook them? Or maybe his family will ask you to? After all family matters the most, right?" Naina hissed through gritted teeth "Do I look like I give a damn about what his likes or him?" 

Something intangible shifted in the space between them, both realising that they were no longer talking about Aloo Parathas. Sameer felt his heartbeat accelerating "What about what your family wants?" Naina replied with a tiny wry smile and with a look of disillusionment in her eyes "They don't give a damn about what I like or me. Sameer, I am learning something that I think you have learnt long back... family doesn't necessarily have to be only the one which we are born with, we can choose to make our own where ever we go. Though I am sure I still have a lot to learn." 

Naina looked at him long and hard one last time, as if trying to memorise anything that wasn't already imprinted on her soul. She smiled at him wistfully eyes misting slightly "Take care of yourself and "She stopped abruptly her voice catching, feeling incapable of breathing she started to walk towards the door. Sameer felt like he was being pulled under water and struggling to breath. He lunged forward and grabbed her wrist, needing his oxygen, his survival instinct kicking in. "What if I asked you to make Aloo Parathas?" he asked in a low husky voice. 

Naina stilled as the air around almost crackled with electricity. Then she looked at him over her shoulder and after a few moments asked him without batting an eye lid "How many would you like?"

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