ok hi hi i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry for being late but it's the last chapter and i listened to this song on repeat for three hours while writing this chapter so uhhh listen to it and you'll get all the belda feels (as well as listening to salvation by gabrielle aplin)ok bye for now!

IT WAS HARD not to smile when I woke up the next morning. We'd practically fallen asleep against each other the night before. Even crawling under the covers was done reluctantly, as we had to let go of one another in order to do so(though I would have clung to Bucky like a sloth in any other circumstance).

As I felt myself coming out of the temptations of sleep, I could feel a light pressure against my arm. Slowly, so as to not alarm Bucky beside me, I shifted toward the presence and fluttered my eyes open, finding a pair of sea-blue ones staring back at me.

The first and only thing I noticed was the lack of lines on his face. He wasn't thinking of anything in that moment, he was just staring at me as if I were the only thing he could see in the soft sunlight breaking through the windows.

"Elda?" He asked, a gentle uncertainty in his voice.

I hummed in response, trailing a finger up his flesh arm that had been draped across my body in the middle of the night. I broke eye contact with him to watch and feel his muscles tense in response to my touch, relishing the sensation of his body flush with mine. "I'm here," I whispered.

He didn't say anything in return for a few minutes, his eyes scanning my face, taking in my features, memorizing them. For as long as I live, I will never fail to blush under his intense gaze, no matter how softly his eyes shine in my direction.

I almost fell asleep again, unable to think of anything else except for just how magnificent it felt to be lying beside my salvation after so long of being deprived of his touch, his look, of him. But alas, I knew that an entire world waited outside the doors of this beautiful hotel room, and in that world were both friends and foes that were no doubt wondering where we were.

"What did I do?" were his next words, jerking me out of my thoughts. When I looked back up at his eyes, expecting to see the same beautiful blue depths clear of all harmful thoughts, I was sorely disappointed. He'd drifted his gaze from my face to my neck, where I was still healing from that day in our cell. "Why did I do this?" He asked, his voice low and broken as he traced the bruises that webbed around my neck. "H-how could I hurt you?"

My entire body physically ached with the anguish in his tone as he left feather-light touches around the spots that the Soldier had latched onto. I was surprised that I couldn't feel the ghost of his hands squeezing the life out of me. Instead, I simply reached up and held his hand against the side of my neck, the other hand going to caress his jaw. "You didn't hurt me, Buck. You never have." I slowly sat up, letting the sheets fall from my bare frame. Trying my best to suppress the angry red blush that rose to my cheeks, I let Bucky's hand fall from my neck, finding its own path down my chest to my hip. Shivering with his touch, I swallowed roughly. "See? You don't have a violent bone in your body, Bucky."

When I pulled on his arm in a signal for him to sit up, he hesitantly hid his metal arm out of view. "How can I be safe if I have this attached to me forever?" His voice had still not risen above much more than a whisper.

I made sure my movements were slow, but I successfully tangled my fingers in those of his metal hand, pulling it closer to me. Tugging him closer, I let his metal appendage get trapped between our bodies as I rested my forehead against his. "You are safe," I whispered. "It doesn't matter what you look like. The evil that did this to you is not who you are." I inhaled his musky scent with a smile on my face and asked gently, "Tell me your name?"

He replied quietly, "Bucky Barnes."

"Exactly," I squeezed his metal hand with mine, unsure if he could feel it. "Who am I?"

A pause. "My light."

Oh, I would have jumped his bones again if he hadn't been so emotionally fragile. Instead, I managed a soft chuckle and shook my head. "My name, Barnes."

"My safe haven."

I leaned back and looked at him with a cocked eyebrow. He opened his eyes and stared back at me. What made my stomach flip? The crooked smile that was peeking through the shadows on his face, hinting at the return of the old Bucky, the Bucky that I'd fallen in love with a year ago.

"What's my name?" I asked again, this time with an amused smile.

My eyelids fluttered shut as he leaned in, his lips just centimeters away from mine. "Elda," he whispered, the most delicious sound I will ever hear in my entire life. He pressed his lips to mine, capturing them in a soft, gentle kiss. I let go of his metal hand to thread my fingers through his hair, gently tugging the roots to pull him closer to me.

A guttural groan fell from his lips right into my mouth, sending a shiver down my spine. Forgoing my previous embarrassment at being naked in our sunlit room, I maneuvered my legs to be on either side of his hips, my hands still in his hair, latching onto him with everything I had. A cool sensation trailed along my side as he touched me with his metal hand, albeit more cautiously than he was touching me with his flesh hand.

Bucky, with one arm around me, turned on the bed and leaned forward, guiding my body to the pillows—

Knock-knock. "Uh, guys? It's Shuri. Are you decent? I don't really want to catch you in the, uh...throes of passion."

Our lips parted. Bucky's eyes were wide in shock and embarrassment, but I only laughed. "Be there in a minute!" I called to the door. Rolling Bucky off of me, I stood up and began to get dressed, pulling on the pajamas that the Wakandan king had made sure we'd received.

I was about to open the door and let the princess in when Bucky muttered, "Wait."

One glance at his tense body on the bed, under the covers again with a pillow placed...suspiciously over his hips was enough to make me blush again with a suppressed giggle. I had done that to him, I was the one that could get him so worked up. With a glint in my eye, I sauntered back to my love and placed a sweet kiss to his forehead. "Take your time, champ," I teased lightly. "When you're ready, I'd suggest going to find Steve. He's probably jealous that I've been hogging your company for so long."

The only response I got from him was a deep grumble, his cheeks still flushing red with embarrassment at his compromising position. I couldn't help but smirk at his discomfort, a delicious sense of amusement entering my veins. I was the one that made him like this, I was the one that was bringing his humanity back to him. 

As I walked alongside the Wakandan princess a few moments later, I noticed that Shuri pretended not to know what she had probably interrupted despite her inability to see through the door to our—well, Bucky's—room. Instead, she just ushered me out of the building and back into the sunlight that shone in a rather ethereal aura around the capital of their country. 

"It's beautiful here," I said in awe, my eyes wandering throughout my surroundings. It seemed to me that the city went outwards in all directions, a never-ending display of Wakanda's wealth that was expertly hidden from the world for centuries. The sun glinted off the glass windows of countless skyscrapers that all seemed to be designed by different architects, yet they held similar patterns and colors. 

Shuri seemed to get a kick out of my stunned expression. "Well," she sighed, shrugging nonchalantly, "you get used to it after awhile."

Shaking my head, I disagreed. "I don't know how I could ever get used to being in such a radiant place all the time."

"El."

I turned to face my brother, who had just approached the two of us. His hair was damp, most likely freshly washed from a shower, and his hands were stuffed in his pockets. My older brother was the image of insecurity, something I hadn't seen in a very long time. It was the red circles around his eyes that really did me in, reminding me of how selfish I'd become in just the last few hours. 

While I was reveling in the love I'd found, I had left my brother to sink into the depths of the love that he'd just lost in our parents.

"Shuri, will you..." I trailed off, hurrying to meet my brother. My arms instinctively opened, but he didn't welcome my embrace like I'd expected him to. Put off, I dropped my arms to my sides and looked up at the man that I'd always hoped to become. I saw how empty his eyes were, how broken they were.

I'd only just gotten my brother back, but in that moment, he seemed like he had really died. Like his soul had left when our parents hit the ground. 

"Walk with me," he said softly, and turned on his heel to lead me out of the city's epicenter. We walked for some time, just trying to find a quiet spot away from the magnificent buildings and the people that roamed the streets. Eventually, we found a lonely hilltop that overlooked a forest of green. If not for the tense silence between us, I would have said something about the gorgeous view. But I just waited for my brother to speak. 

Finally, he did. "It doesn't usually feel like this." I didn't have to ask what he meant. "When we lose one of our own in the Agency..." he muttered a curse. "I shouldn't even be saying any of this."

My hand found his arm, and I tugged it out of his pocket so I could squeeze his hand. "I won't tell." 

Cade shook his head. "When someone dies in the Agency, it doesn't...it doesn't hurt this bad." He lifted his eyes and stared out across the open air in front of us, his eyes glistening with tears that refused to fall. "I wasn't the only one that was assigned to the Cerberus mission. There was another one, a woman." He paused, swallowing roughly. "They didn't believer her cover, so they killed her. One shot, straight to the head. She'd hardly even stepped in the compound." His voice wavering, Cade cleared his throat to steady himself. "I've watched so many people die, El. Myself included."

I couldn't help the tear that escaped my eye and trailed down my cheek. "How did you survive?"

It took him a minute to answer, as if he had forgotten that I was there. "I did everything I had to. I did everything they asked of me, and I never broke. I shut everything off that made me real. But it all came back when I saw...when..." he choked on a strangled sob that wrestled its way out of his mouth, and then the seemingly invincible brother of mine was breaking, crumbling into my arms and sinking to the grassy earth beneath our feet. My arms wrapped around his shoulders, letting him rest his head in the crook of my neck, hiding from the world around us. 

We sat like that for awhile, a sister protecting her older brother from the past, present, and future that threatened to impede on his mind. Only when his tears subsided and his heavy breaths evened out did I speak into the silence. 

"I think I'm broken, Cade." He lifted his head from my shoulder and peered into my eyes. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I haven't...I haven't cried, not since they died." I let go of him and laid back on the grass. "I knew I would feel empty after my parents died, but I didn't think I would be so empty that I didn't feel anything. Guilt, remorse, grief. I don't feel any of it."

Cade didn't say anything until I was certain he'd forgotten what I had said. "You know, they were just about the worst parents they could have been to you. My entire life, I wasn't ready to admit how cruel they were to you. I spent my life in the CIA grieving the loss of their love for me. I missed the old days, the parents that they used to be when I was around. I never even considered what they were doing to you after I left."

"That's not your fault," I said.

"No," he agreed smoothly, "but I should have noticed. I should have saved you from their wrath, or done something to make them go easier on you, but I left. Like a coward."

I let out a humorless scoff. "I thought we were talking about my problems, Cade."

My brother lay back on the grass beside me. His hand found mine, holding it tightly. "It doesn't make you a bad person, Elda," he said quietly. "Maybe we're all a little broken. Maybe the only way we can heal is if we allow ourselves to be shattered around the edges."

"That's really intelligent," I replied, a small weight lifting off my chest.

My brother squeezed my hand one last time. "It's probably horseshit advice," he answered smoothly, "but it sounded cool."

||

I wasn't really sure why we were called back to the palace, but it was evident that it was serious based on the people that were escorted into the throne room. King T'Challa was perched on his throne with the utmost confidence and ease of a weathered king. But his was not the face I looked to for answers. Instead, I looked to his left where a graying man stood, his arms crossed and a very nervous expression on his face. 

Upon noticing me, Everett Ross cleared his throat. "I come in peace, Miss Reid." 

Despite our last meeting being so hostile, I was surprised to find such a lack of energy in my bones. I was tired of fighting with everyone that had done be wrong over the years. I was certain that he understood how pissed I was with him after pulling that shit with Cade, and that was enough for now. He still had a lot to learn about what that did to me, but I wasn't in the mood to argue. 

Besides, everyone else was here. Nat, Cara, and Sam had all made their way here, trailing my brother and I as we entered the room. Behind them came Steve and Bucky, a certain air of familiarity hanging around them. I couldn't help but offer a kind smile. Steve looked a little bit more like the Captain America I'd always wanted to see.

Slipping in the doorway before it slid shut was Wretton, finally having made it back from Australia like he'd promised. It seemed to me that he didn't want to be noticed, but I made a point to lock eyes with him. His eyes brightened at the sight of me, his cool exterior as a CIA agent softening for just a moment. 

"Please, sit down, friends," T'Challa greeted us, gesturing with a strong hand to the chairs positioned in a circle in the throne room. "With all you have seen, it seems only right to grant you the privilege of Wakandan elders. Just this once."

We sat, Bucky finding his way to my side. With just one glance around the room, I saw the faces of the people that I'd come to love. In only a few months, I'd lost everything. But in losing my blood, I'd found my family. 

"Alright, we'll make this as quick as possible," Ross started. "Rogers, Wilson, Romanoff?"

The three of them perked up. Steve's expression was undoubtedly hopeful, Sam's was skeptical, and Nat only cocked an eyebrow, refusing to give up any sort of clue to her emotions. 

"Although it somewhat pains me to say this, your records have been cleared. Your names are off of our list, thanks to some carefully-strewn words from one of your friends."

Steve's question hung in the air. Tony?

Ross cleared his throat. "Rhodes, I believe his name was."

It was a sad sight, seeing Steve's hope diminish.

"Just like that?" Sam asked. "Don't blame me for not buying everything you're selling."

The director held out his hands. "Believe me, it's true. You three are free to go. Just..." he eyed Nat. "Don't make any rash decisions in the near future. It took a lot of convincing to make the World Council see reason."

"Hey, what about me?" Cara cut in, raising her hand.

Ross cocked an eyebrow. "I was going to say," he began, "that the CIA would like to retract their rejection of your application to join our ranks, Miss Jansen."

She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "What? Why?"

 "I have it on very good authority that you're an excellent shot."

Cara, with a smirk of realization on her face, flicked her eyes to Wretton, who was leaning against the wall in the shadows. "Aw, Red, you're not going soft on me, are you?" 

Wretton fought to keep a straight face, but I could see his gentle smile as he replied softly, "Never, Miss Jansen."

After no one asked any more questions, Ross went on. "Isaac Thompson, the leader of Cerberus" —Bucky tensed at my side— "is being taken into custody in Australia as we speak, but he will answer to his crimes in America." He tipped his head to Bucky. "We are doing everything we can to get you the treatment you need in the States."

Bucky shook his head. "I'm staying here." He nodded to T'Challa. "Shuri cured me once, she can cure me again." His tone of finality made it clear to Ross that there would be no negotiation. 

"The White Wolf can stay here as long as Shuri deems necessary," the king agreed evenly. "She knows best."

Ross seemed to have a great deal of respect for the young princess, as he nodded without arguing and clasped his hands in front of himself. "Very well. If that's settled, then you are all free to go." 

"Uh, where?" I mumbled.

"Wherever you want," Wretton answered me just as quietly.

The others started to leave, holding tightly onto their new freedom, but Bucky and I stayed right where we were. Our chairs were moved closer to each other, and I was holding his arm as he leaned into my side. Behind the king's throne was a wall of glass windows that offered a wondrous view to the city, quite possibly the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen in my life. 

With careful movements, Bucky let his metal hand trail down my side, resting on my thigh and squeezing gently. "I can feel you," he whispered in wonder, in disbelief. "I can feel you."

My head nestled in the crook of his neck, I let a real, albeit small, smile grace my lips. I put my hand over his, feeling the cool surface of the metal plates sink into my skin. "You're here," I whispered, only to myself. It would take a bit to get used to this, to this feeling of utter content.

But as we looked out across the Wakandan expanse, I could feel the shards of my soul begin to pick themselves up off the granite floor and take the shape of myself. I drank in the sunlight, letting it sink into my bones and warm me from the inside out. It would take weeks, or months, or years to become myself again, but maybe that was okay.

Maybe it was okay to be a little broken sometimes. I would heal. Bucky would heal. We would do it together. Because that's what we were meant to do. 

In hours of darkness, we were each other's light. In the most desperate times, we were each other's salvation. 

||

the end

||

i think i might be crying. but uhhh what's new?

again, i apologize to those of you who have been waiting for a few months for this final chapter, and i hope it was everything you hoped it would be. i don't know if it was everything you imagined, as i have more plans coming up that will interlock (kind of) with this series, but seriously. i hope it was worth the wait.

there are two epilogues that are coming up, so i won't say anything more until the way, way end. don't worry, we're gonna get extra sappy when that time comes.

thank you for waiting. i finally have a weight lifted off my shoulders.

much love,
laura.

march 11, 2020