chapter seven,     crimson loneliness

𝓐leksander & 𝕷iya

            THE OTHERS DIDN'T TAKE THE NEWS LIGHTLY. One half truly believed that Liya used her powers to seduce the Darkling even if they knew that the powers of a Heartrender that way didn't work on him. The others thought that this was just an alliance that happened after the murder of General Zlatan. It was safe to say that no one believed the General had true feelings for Liya.

            Liya felt even more excluded from the fellow Grisha. She wasn't the most trusted Grisha between them and now her reputation has sunk deep. If she showed up for the dinners from time to time before, she was unseen there now. Since everyone knew that she spent her days in the garden or with Baghra, no one interrupted her. They forgot about her.

            The preparation for the celebration started to take place. The halls were decorated, and there were many maids and guards roaming the corridors. Too many times she was almost blasted with opening doors. And the rushing of the people made her trip all the time. That's why her trip to the gardens became rare – there were just too many people roaming around. Everyone was buzzing with the celebration.

            But she just wanted to go away. This life didn't suit her. She always remembered that peaceful month with Lena before she was hunted down. It was just her, doing what she could do best – making ointments and picking herbs. At least in that way, she had some sort of meaning in this world. Here, she was just another decoration waiting to be discarded.

            Aleksander was a frequent guest and she grew to feel relaxed around him. She was no longer annoyed with his presence even if the shadow of his actions was always there. But he was the only person that kept on seeing her. Genya was too busy with the Queen and Liya understood that completely. After the news of the courting, the Queen was unbelievably sour.

            Now, she was once again in his office, a usual spot for her to be during dinner time. She was standing beside the table, just explaining what she had been doing with Baghra as usual. But as the celebration date came closer, it was worrying her.

            "I wish to leave. At least for the celebration," she admitted.

            "I know that, Liya," he admitted, sitting by the table, in front of her. "But the King will demand for your presence. The courting means you being by my side."

            She wasn't content with that. "So I can't even get sick?"

            "With a palace full of Grisha, there is no such thing as getting sick, my dearest Heartrender."

            He was right. But it was the only escape she could think of.

            "Are you afraid?" Aleksander asked.

            Closing her eyes, she shrugged – she hated how well he could read her. But she decided to change the topic once again: "What about those men?"

            Aleksander inched forward in his seat: "You didn't want to know anything about them."

            "Well?"

            "They swallowed their tongues without giving anything to me. They'd rather die than let me get inside their head – I understand that... But they are Ravkan. They are, without any doubt, sent by Zlatan's family."

            She uneasily gulped. Suddenly her tongue itched and she couldn't wrap her head around how one could end their life that way – swallowing their own tongue. The uneasy thoughts clouded her head and she shook her head – it was either them or her. It was the way of this world. One day, it will be her.

            Liya turned around, sitting on the desk, turning her back to him: "And we are still proceeding with this celebration? Letting a man, who wants to kill you inside?"

            "I'm not his target, my dearest Heartrender. If it would've been that easy, he would've hunted me already. Hurting me will not do anything."

            "Then why—" she didn't finish her sentence, because the realisation hit her. Why her? Because what else was dear to him? But she couldn't allow herself to put her into such a high position.

            Aleksander stood up, making his way beside her, his steps leaving a trail of wind behind that made her flustered, but not anxious – not anymore. "You know why."

            His voice was always so serious. Always so low. His words were slow. Each syllable was pronounced. Even if she could feel his heart at the end of her fingers, she still wished, at moments like these, that she could see. That she could see his eyes. If they were full of worry or if they were full of deception... She wanted to look at him.

            But as always, her head was slightly nudged down, eyes closed. She didn't want to wish for the impossible. It only hurts more.

            "I'm his target because he wants to hurt you," she finally put it into words.

            The man moved beside her, appearing in front of her. His hand ended up on her wrist and she could sense his heart as if it was inside of her – his amplifying powers were magnificent. This calmed her. As if he would never let anything happen to her, as if he openly stated that his heart was hers. It was hard to believe, but she wanted to believe. She was tired of the never-ending fear. She was tired of doubting if he was sincere. She just wanted to be left in a serene moment. With him.

            "So we are to put on a show in front of everyone about our eternal love?" Liya chuckled, finding that the celebration was just another reason to make other Grisha loathe her more.

            "Is it not eternal?" He chuckled.

            Liya's fingers wrapped around his waist, always noticing how warm his skin was. "I want to—feel for you slowly. Without any obstacles." She couldn't possibly wrap her tongue around the word 'love'. Just because she has never had it for long. She didn't know how it could feel.

            "I think," he stepped closer, "we won't need to put on a show if you are just going to be beside me."

            "Others already—"

            "I don't care what they think," he interrupted her. "I don't care if they think you enchanted me or I'm forcing something out of this. They don't know you. They don't know me."

            Watching her nudge her head down, his heart ached for her – always so wary of her surroundings, always full of pain. He didn't know how to ease it. He didn't know how to make her feel better. He didn't know how to help her feel again. This world was cruel – he was a part of it, but she didn't deserve to live through this pain.

            A sudden knock on the door alerted her and she grasped his hand, pulling him closer: "I shouldn't be here!" She said in a hushed tone.

            That worked-up mood of hers made him raise his eyebrows in surprise, a little smile sitting on his lips: "It's only Fedyor, reporting for the evening. I'm courting you – why shouldn't you be here?"

            "I don't want for people to talk even more about us—I already cannot show up in the hallways without their... judgmental attitude." That's why she outstretched her hand and led him further into the office.

            "What are you doing—Liya, that's a closet," he barely could contain the laughter inside of him, watching the way she was going for the closet.

            "Perfect!" She exclaimed and opened the closer door, moving inside of it, pressing his clothes to the side and tugging on his hand to get inside.

            Aleksander looked at her with a glare, standing still, hearing the distant Fedyor's voice: "Not happening."

            "Yes, happening," she tugged harder on his hand, but he didn't budge.

            "Come in, Fedyor!" The Darkling said and noticed the way her eyes widened so hard that she tugged his hand once again, his body losing balance and pushing forward into the closet as she closed the closet behind him, leaving him cramped up into that horribly tiny space, with her body pressed to him.

            Well, perhaps, it had some benefits to be cramped in a small space with her.

            "You are being childish, Liya," he noted, feeling the iron touch of hers, keeping him from moving as she was struggling to squish beside him.

            "Shut up," she whispered.

            "Have you thought how scandalous it would be if Fedyor would open this closet and find us both in a little space together?" he was teasing her, watching, no, feeling the way her chest was rising and moving down on him. He knew that Fedyor never would dare to get through his personal belongings.

            "Shhh," she tried to hush him, slightly moving to the side, hearing the way Fedyor stepped into the room, calling the General.

            Only now did she realise that it was a mistake to get into the closet with him, but she has maintained such a good distance from him until now. However, the most horrible hanger in the closet was daggering in between the shoulder blades. She was trying to shift that bloody hanger to the side.

            Aleksander felt the way she was moving slightly to the sides and it made him shut up almost instantly. Not only he couldn't be standing straight in the closet, leaning over her, but there was no space between the two and every tiny move of hers was causing fire inside of him, making it harder for him to breathe.

            "Perhaps you just wanted an opportunity to get into a tiny space with me, hmm?" he softly whispered against her shoulder, feeling the way she stopped moving for a few seconds.

            "Don't get over yourself," she bit back, slightly shifting in her place and he was already seeing stars.

            "Could you please stop moving?!" He slightly raised his voice, feeling the way she froze, much to his delight, but footsteps came in close.

            "General?" Fedyor's voice was right at the door of the closet, moving slightly away from it, and the heels of his shoes hit the marble floor.

            Liya pressed her cheek into his chest, hearing the loud thudding of his heart and feeling how his legs were slightly trembling. Her breath got stuck in her throat, still moving to the sides as the hanger was making her go insane.

            Much to her delight, Aleksander finally pushed the hanger away from her shoulder blades, creating a loud screech on the metal, wrapping a hand around her waist and almost pushing her even closer: "For the sake of Saints, my darling, if you won't stop moving, I'll make sure that Fedyor will open these doors and see something forbidden."

            His voice was pure temptation and sin, touching her skin so that her body froze without her processing the words. A breath got stuck in her mouth and she was blaming herself for her idiocy because only now the realisation of being this close to him was overpowering every cell inside of her body. Suddenly, the body warmth of his was uniting with hers and the strong breaths were complimenting the thuds of his heart.

            And the need for him was spilling over the top.

            Feeling the way she was trying to calm herself down, he allowed himself to nudge his head down on her shoulder, exhaling: "Good girl."

            At first, getting in a closet seemed childish and hilarious to see her try to avoid being seen with him. But now, he was thanking everyone out there for this given opportunity to tease her, knowing that she wouldn't be able to move away once Fedyor made those painfully slow circles around his chambers.

            She has placed herself into her own doom and there was no one else to blame apart from her. Suddenly, the hidden craving for him was crashing forward with his alluring words that ignited warmth inside of her that was making her feel out of place.

            As soon as she heard Fedyor leave and close the door behind him, Aleksander opened the closet with a thud, making her hop out and feel slightly disoriented as his hand supported her as he got out himself, but he didn't intend to let her go.

            "I will go now."

            "No," he grumbled, the husky voice of his appearing stronger than before.

            She didn't disagree even if she should've had, but instead, she finally gave in to his desperate grasp of her, pulling her closer and she closed her eyes, just before their lips finally met each other.

            That warmth that had been developing in his chest for months was exploding, his body leaning closer to hers as he finally felt her soft lips. Something unleashed inside of him, leaning closer, he softly pulled his lips away from hers, giving her a chance to move away before he won't be able to control himself.

            He needed her. He needed her like air. He needed her as close as possible.

            The fluttering of her eyelids only showed that she was still in the same euphoric feeling they shared, but much to his surprise and desperation, she leaned forward, pushing their lips together, sealing their fates. Pressing her body to his, he pushed his hands to her jaw, feeling the way her hands clasped the opening of his kefta.

            The way their lips moved was as if they were starved of each other, it was messily crashing against each other, sharing the sweetness with one after, the desperation that was the bitter aftertaste. Pulling away, he inhaled, whispering her name against her lips as if it were a pleading mantra to her. So many nights spent without her, dreaming of her, of her lips and body.

            "Aleksander," she whispered, her hands softly moving to his shoulders.

            "Liya," it sounded more like a desperate whine than something else, but he couldn't think straight. He wanted to do so much. He wanted to say so much. He wanted to touch her.

            His lips softly moved down her jaw, moving to her neck, leaving soft kisses on her skin, breathing in the floral scent of hers that was making him slightly dizzy. His hands unclasped her kefta, wanting to have her closer, pushing his palms on her shirt as his lips slightly moved down on her collarbone, his teeth moving against her softness, receiving a surprised little mewl from her.

            Something moved inside of his chest, a desperate breath leaving his mouth as he was gifted with that sweet sound from her. His thoughts were plagued with her, with her skin, with her voice, with her warmth... And he couldn't think straight.

            Their hearts intertwined, their souls discarded by many, left in the shadows and unused. But with each other, they formed a harmony – it was so wrong to love someone so twisted and evil, just as it was unfair to shadow her with darkness. But the harmony played a song of two souls forgotten and alone where love brought the much-needed salvation.

            It was the way their bodies tangled and the desperation burst through the walls of the room. How the beating hearts quickened their pace and the desire dripped on the floor like golden honey. It was the way her crimson braids slowly were getting dishevelled, how his dark hair became messy. How the lips, puffy from love and affection, searched for one another in different places.

            The moment of peace that they both so desired as her body dropped on his, as he held her with his strong arms with such fragility, afraid that she would break, that she would fly away like a little bird into the sunset. He kissed her scars and memorized their places, pushing her body closer which was unloved for far too long.

            And with beauty, she blossomed, right in his arms. She filled his lonely chambers with the light that was inside of her. With her silent voice, high and low notes, with the way she breathed and grasped for him like he was the air she needed.

            She was beautiful.

finally they kissed—lawd i don't want to write proper smut so I hide underneath some sort of poetic writing of it— i hope it was not too bad to read xx