Written: 8/7/24, 8/19/24
Word Count: 1,961

"Yeah," I said simply, twisting my body at Kakashi's side so that I could face the witch and the child. "We did want to speak with you."

The witch—I had identified.

The child, though...

"What do you say?" Patty asked. "I'm not unreasonable." She grinned, wearing only the most unreasonable expression.

The kid stood by the High Priestess's side. Their eyes were at once devoid of life and filled with mischief. I couldn't help the tingling awareness that I wasn't recognizing them. I should know who they are, but I don't. Short, dark hair. Those shorts, like some rich young master from an anime.

But there were so many dark-haired rich young masters to choose from! And tons with their own powers. What had those been? Shadows? But they'd felt so real!

"We're not in a position to be able to give you anything." Kakashi pointed out. I looked up at the sharp edge of his jawline. The setting sun ringed his profile in fire, in gold. Now wreathed within some protective circle, the shinobi should have relaxed a bit.

He had not.

The woman spread out her dark gloved hands. "Sure," she acknowledged, a rather customer-service-oriented nod. "Let's discuss that."

If this witch thought she was coming inside my apartment, she needed a hardy dose of reality. "Is Sam involved in this? Did you call her to come down?"

Patty twitched a smile filled with things I couldn't understand. She toed the line between cocky and intelligent. I felt she was ringing circles around me, but I didn't know how. And I didn't know what to do about it.

"She knows I'm here."

That...sounded ominous. Maybe witches could just tell? I wish I wasn't so out of my depth. After Bella's rather begrudging history lesson, I still couldn't say how magic actually worked. What were the rules? What was possible with it? I didn't know either of these things, and the not-knowing scared me.

What could a High Priestess with ulterior motives do to those who didn't even know what could happen to them?

"Is there..." I cleared my throat. "Is there something we can even give you? You know what we want. For Kakashi and Kirishima to be—to be brought back to their original worlds."

Without flinching, Patty replied, "Sure, I can do that."

Did I dare to feel relieved yet? "Alive," I added, brain trying to find any loophole. I hadn't been specific, had I? Scrambling, I stuttered out, "We want Kakashi to be returned to his original universe and Kirishima to be returned to his own universe. I don't know how time works in all this, but we want you to put them back to the same time period they're from. And, uh—"

"I understand." Patty held up her hand. Bright lipstick smudged onto her canines as she extended her smile. "Relax. I'm not trying to trick you."

"It's been over a month," Kakashi remarked, tone dead set. "Why haven't you come before now?"

"Ah," the High Priestess let out a long sigh. "For that, I must offer an apology. We simply...did not know what to do about it. It was never my intention for the two of you to meet. With an ordinary civilian involved, we had to decide on how we were going to handle the PR side of things. It would be—unfortunate—if this incident outed our community to the city as a whole."

"Wouldn't it make more sense to extract me almost immediately, then, and pretend this was all some very vivid dream?" Kakashi continued, relentlessly. "You could have pretended there was some gas leak that gave her hallucinations. Or you could have sent someone undercover to assess whether Gracie needed someone to mislead her—convince her it was all in her head. That it was all just a dream."

I blinked up at Kakashi, not sure how to feel about being discussed like some unknowledgeable little girl. I mean, I was, am, whatever. I understood the point.

Instead of fear, an infectious grin rounded at my lips, and if I hadn't known before, I did now. My feelings for this man were genuine. I'd been smart to be cautious of him at first, but in retrospect, giving the shinobi a place to stay when I didn't know if anything I was experiencing was real had been the bravest thing I'd ever done. It outweighed all of the incredible adventures I'd experienced in the past month and a half.

"You're the expert in these matters, kit," Patty shrugged off Kakashi's barbed tone. "I'm not well-versed in clandestine dealings."

Well, that was blatantly false. If the Sinnissippa Witches were involved in the Wolf Den, had their own biker gang, and had been hiding amongst non-magical society since the beginning of their legacy, then wouldn't lying and acting on potential crisis-level mistakes be necessary survival skills?

But all Kakashi said was, "Right," in a tone that somehow labeled every argument that the High Priestess was spouting as bullshit. I couldn't do all that by speaking one word, but that was also one of Kakashi's talents. "I'm sure you have a price in mind." His brows rose, and he tightened his hold around my waist. "Let's hear it."

"My, straight to business, are we?" Patty's smile turned mischievous. "Not going to offer me a place to sit? Some tea, perhaps? A spot to hang my hat?" Her eyes glittered, actually glittered. "If you want something from someone, you should put in a little effort to make them comfortable, hm?"

Did she want inside my apartment? I swallowed dryly. Why did she have to come right after work? I wanted nothing more right now than to take off these grocery store clothes and dip into my couch, kittens happily chomping on my ankles while a certain shinobi asked me random questions on his quest to understand the internet.

"Or, we could cut to the chase, since you've neglected to take responsibility for your mistakes," Kakashi countered, and a short spike of fear lit inside my rib cage, hovering over my heart.

What if he pushed her away, and she never told us how to get him home? What if she decided she didn't want to send him back because he didn't sit at her feet and beg?

Why was he being so obstinate? Was this just an Anbu-era Kakashi trait, or had he always been this unyielding?

Scratch that. I shook my head. I needed to stop comparing him to the characters on the page and on the screen. Over a month of this, and I still hadn't learned my lesson?

"What mistake would that be, kit?"

Kakashi gave her a deadpan look. "Kidnapping."

A beat passed as his accusation took shape and landed, glancing off the High Priestess's sharp cheekbones. Then, she laughed. Heartily. There was something of a trill in it, something of a husk that belonged in a tavern, the wild west, a different life. Not in a showdown on blacktop in the middle of an urban residential neighborhood.

"Alright," Patty agreed, "I kidnapped you, but don't act like you've faced suffering worse than death." She eyed me up and down, secured at Kakashi's side. "You've been doing just fine. Hardly any danger. Are you really going to play the villain card on me? When you've been living in comfort, relaxing for days on end with a cute little thing by your side? I've heard a little about you ninjas and your way of life. This world must be like a vacation for you." Again, she glanced at me, a coy smile blossoming out her bottom lip. It looked ridiculous on such an aged, refined face. "Relationships are best done while you're young. Your bodies are limber, your time is infinite. You feel like you can see God in between the sheets." She sighed as my nose crinkled. "But then the kids come, the body slows, and the career dries up. No, kit. It's best to experience these things while young. I've given you a gift."

I cleared my throat. "Are you calling me a gift?"

"No." Patty waved one hand, tossing my words out of sight. "The ninja was supposed to be a gift for Sam, but I realized after the spell that sending him to the complexes isn't an assurance that she'd be the one to find him first. Whoever gets the gift first," Patty winked, "becomes the gift in turn."

"What?" I asked. Kakashi's arm tightened as if he already knew what she was saying.

I think I did, too. My face grew hot, and a small ringing started in my ears. I couldn't even hear the late-fall wind over its increasing tempo.

"Oh, come on, kit." Patty waved a black-gloved hand. "Be glad you're the one who found him. He's mighty appreciative of the little working wife you've become. But...we both know, he would've been equally appreciative of anyone who found him that day. I know I would've."

"What are you trying to do?" Kakashi asked while it was all I could do to pretend I wasn't affected by the High Priestess's words.

It's not like I didn't understand what she was saying.

"I'm trying to have a conversation," Patty said. "You refuse to listen to reason, just going on and on about your own problems." She sighed dramatically, stamping her foot in feigned petulance. Again, her actions were like that of a child's. "I have a lot I'm dealing with, too, you know? Try to have some compassion. My daughter won't even speak to me. Wouldn't you do everything in your power to make her happy, make amends, if you only had the power to just...do it?"

I wasn't sure how we got to talking about Sam after she disparaged me and Kakashi, harping on about youthful connections. If only I was a psychology major, I'd probably be able to identify the tactic she employed. Misdirection? What was that thing people used to make you think everything was your fault instead of just admitting guilt?

"Alas," she said, flipping the script once again with a spotty conclusion, "young love is just not meant to last. We can agree on that, can't we? The two of you will be split apart eventually—"

"So you do intend to send me home?" Kakashi arched a brow, cutting straight back to the point. At least he remained calm. I was always too easily thrown off kilter.

I had to do better. I couldn't afford to get distracted. This was about Kakashi's and Kirishima's futures. Their safety.

"Of course." Patty smiled easily, "When I don't need you anymore."

"Need?" I cut in. "Why do you need Kakashi? What for?"

Patty paused. "Need is such a strong word. Wouldn't you rather know what I want him for? There are many answers, though some of them waffle back and forth between need and want. I admit, I won't know unless I try them for myself." She winked at me, and a burst of severe discomfort punched me in the gut as this grown ass adult continued playing the sexual predator. "Won't you let me try him on for myself, kit? Then I'll know if I need him or not. Could be unforgettable. You won't mind, ri—"

"I do mind," I interrupted, cheeks flushing once the words left my mouth. Somehow, I'd gotten pulled into the wrong argument. I shook my head, not daring to glance at Kakashi.

Unfortunately, this was the moment that mysterious child decided to step back into the ring.

"Tell me, Gracie," they said, tone low and somewhat husky for a little thing. I couldn't tell their gender from their voice, but those things didn't really matter, did they? "Have you ever lied to Kakashi?"