How did you all enjoy the curveball last chap? Probably very lol. But you love me and you know it.

...

"A brother?" Junmyeon asked in disbelief. What he couldn't comprehend, even at seven years old, was how his mother even managed to have another kid. His grandmother smiled, though Junmyeom noticed it wasn't necessarily a happy sort of smile. "I have a baby brother?" Junmyeon asked again.

"Yes," his grandmother replied. Though her voice sounded strained. Like it was taking everything in her to keep it together. "Your mother had a baby boy a few days ago." Junmyeon waited for more. When he could meet the baby. Maybe even when he could see his mother, a request he wished for every birthday and on every shooting star he came across. But that was all the information his grandmother would share, and the beginning of a lifetime of disappointment blossomed in Junmyeon's small stomach.

The two grew up knewing of each other but never quite connecting like siblings. Junmyeon's mother never changed her ways, still sleeping around and cheating and drinking and just generally wasting her own life away. The only difference was she absolutely ADORED Sehun. She did all those things less frequently with the baby around, always showering him in compliments and gifts. Family members clamored over each other in an attempt to watch him for the day. They took him on lavish holidays. They drove him around Korea to stay at cabins on beaches. And by all accounts Junmyeom should have been jealous beyond belief. Here this child was, getting the love he craved so badly.

But he couldn't ever bring himself to be. That was still his little brother. And it wasn't Sehun's fault that his family chose to love him over Junmyeon. The only thing Junmyeon wished away was the feeling at the end of the night when he laid in his bed at his dad's, all alone and forgotten. The feeling of failure. That he never did anything that impressed them, no matter how hard he tried. He was never good enough in their eyes. But Sehun was the golden boy. The one everyone loved beyond all measure.

And Junmyeon was nothing.

...

"Junmyeon?" Said male peeked up tiredly, feeling bags under his eyes. All week nightmares plagued him. Of his past. His family. Sehun. His brother he hadn't seen in several years. He often wondered how he was doing. What all he'd accomplished while Junmyeon spent his life fighting tooth and nail for everything he had. His nurse frowned at his distrsught look. All the progress they made week after week seemed to come unraveled and they would start from scratch. "You okay?" she finally asked lamely. Of course he wasn't. And she knew that. But she wanted to give him a chance to express that himself. Junmyeon's face screwed like he might cry, but no tears fell.

"I want out of here," Junmyeom finally answered. Straightforward as always. Junmyeon had no time for sugary, flowery words anymore. His whole life centered around getting straight to the point. Once upon a time, of course, that wasn't the case. What felt like a lifetime ago he would get lost in his pages, pouring out his heart onto neatly spaced lines. Jotting down his thoughts before they ran rampant on his mind, round amd round and round like a racecar on an endless track. "I want to go home." But where even was home? Not with his father. Not with his mother. Not even with his friends anymore. Junmyeon had nowhere to go. No one to turn to.

"Someone is here to see you," his nurse said instead. Junmyeon's eyebros retreated into his hairline. Naturally he assumed no one even remembered he was here. But when Baekhyun stepped sheepishly into his room, looking uncomfortable and embarrassed, about a thousand different emotions exploded inside Junmyeon. Relief. Sadness. Rage. Disconnect. Did he even know this man anymore? "Remember you have AA today," his nurse reminded him as she retreated out of the room. The two men stared each other down.

"Hello Junmyeon." Even Baekhyun had to wince at how lame that introduction was. And how squeaky his voice came out. "I'm sorry." Junmyeon pointedly turned away. "Really Jun. I'm sorry we haven't come to see you. Work has been busy, and I've been trying to help Chanyeol with his overload when we're at home together." But still Junmyeon said nothing. He didn't exactly know WHAT to say. Beg forgiveness again? Been there done that. Baekhyun sighed, and Junmyeon's resolve began to crumble little by little. "I know this isn't ideal," Baekhyun continued. "Nor is it what you wanted. But I PROMISE it's because we care about you. We want to see you better Junnie." Junmyeon gulped at the long standing nickname. One he'd had for about as long back as he could think. "For yourself. For us. For Sehun."

"How is he?" Junmyeon dared ask, breaking his own interal vow of silence. Baekhyun started, not expecting a peep from the man. Junmyeon twisted to stare Baekhyun down again. But Baekhyun, being himself, was absolutely nonplussed by the whole thing. He was far used to Junmyeon's mannerisms by now. "How is Sehun?"

"Good," Baekhyun answered carefully. Thin ice was the topic of Sehun. "Set to graduate valedictorian." Junmyeon nodded. Not surprising news in the slightest to him. Sehun was a smart kid. Always had been. He easily outpaced Junmyeon in academics. Junmyeon recalled many years of seeing the young boy's face plastered on every available wall space their schools possessed. Endlessly talented. Sehun could have any future he decided for himself. As long as he never turned out like Junmyeon. The man would use his dying breath to prevent that if he had to. "He asks about you, you know." And of course that was yet another knife in his gut, twisting and turning and spilling out his insides. "We never know what to say to him." Baekhyun studied his long time friend. "He doesn't know you're here."

"Good." Junmyeon winced at his voice. That was all he would allow himself to say. Instead he pulled some string from his pockets, twirling them together in what appeared to be a friendship bracelet. Baekhyun watched silently, realizing the healthy coping mechanism the man picked up. Junmyeon's eyes flicked to the clock on the wall opposite him. "I have AA soon," he stated. Baekhyun nodded and frowned, albeit thoughtfully. "Would you...like to come along?" Junmyeon offered. A metaphorical olive branch, extended out for Baekhyun to take or deny. He just hoped it wasn't in vain.

"Sure Junnie," Baekhyun agreed, and when relief flooded through the man, he wasn't entirely sure how he felt about it.

...

Yixing bustled about the small kitchen st the restaurant, leading the small pack he'd cultivated. He donned his chef's hat and apron the moment he stepped through the threshold, his sous chef gladly letting him take over. The sous chef was an elderly woman, named Chaewon, who'd been working there many years, and any time she saw Yixing she absolutely lit up, tripping over her words to showet him in praises.

"I've never seen this place so busy!" she'd often gush to him. "I don't know what you did boy, but you have the magic touch!" Yixing accepted that with a fond smile, embarrassment tinting his cheeks pink. She reminded him of his Nana, actually. Quick witted, but kind. And hilarious to boot. Also taking no shit from anyone (except maybe Yixing). He grew quite a soft spot for the gruff looking sous chef.

"Yixing!" Said male whipped around when his name was called, quirking an eyebrow at the owner, who so very rarely visited them anymore. "Someome is here to see you. Says it's urgent." Yixing frowned, setting his chopsticks down and untying his apron. He hung it on the hook in his work station and followed the owner out to the main part of the restaurant. His concern grew when he saw Yifan hunched near the door, looking as small as his tall stature would allow him. He should have been at work. It was almost lunch time.

"What's up Yifan?" Yixing asked casually. He tried to keep his tone light and inviting, knowing full well if he went into his investigator mode Yifan would throw his walls up and play defense. Yifan met his gaze, and to say Yixing was taken aback would habe been an understatement. Bags so dark they almost hid his eyes entirely. Sunken cheeks, like he hadn't eaten for days, or didn't want to. He shivered despite tje restaurant being quite warm. "Yifan?" Yixing asked. Yifan pitched forward, dropping to his knees. "Yifan!" Yixing sprang forward. Whatever feelings he harbored went out the window at his cousin's obvious distress. Yifan bowed his head forward. "Easy," Yixing coaxed, easing him to a sitting position.

"I tried," Yifan babbled. Yixing nodded along even though he had no clue what was going on. "I tried going to work. Chanyeol seemed happy to see me. But I just... I couldn't do it." Yixing frowned, but allowed his cousin to continue, afraid of upsetting the balance. "Being crammed into my office, dealing with all the make up work I have. Listening to the office just be alive when I don't feel that anymore. It was too much. I failed him Yixing." Yixing helped him to his feet, steering the male out of the restaurant and into the street. He took a deep breath, but he still appeared like he'd been hit by a city bus. "I failed him," Yifan repeated on the same deadpan, almost souless tone. The tone of a man broken beyond repair. "I couldn't save him Yixing."

"You're scaring me," Yixing finally managed out. Yifan side eyed him, apparently finding something funny in that. He chuckled. Or at the very least his shoulders shook a little. Though at this point Yixing couldn't place if it was because of that or because he was holding it all together. "You didn't fail him Yifan," Yixing reasoned. "If anything you saved him when he needed it most. He's never blamed you for that. He's just..."

"Been hurting this whole time and I didn't realize," Yifan butted in. Yixing snapped his jaw closed. "My baby has been fighting demons his whole life. The whole time we've known each other. And I didn't even KNOW that fact. I should have known. I should have realized how much he was hurting. I should have been there for him. I shouldn't have abandoned him." There it was. Guilt. Yifan carried so much guilt it coated him. Wrapped around him like a cheap blanket. "God I can't even look at myself." Yifan laughed, devoid of humor, and their eyes met once again. "I failed at being his partnet Yixing, don't you get it? I failed him."

"You did NOT fail Zitao," Yixing firmly repeated. But Yifan shook his head, dislodging Yixing and stumbling away. Now that Yixing could get a good look at him, he realized how half-hazard he seemed. Shirt untucked and suit top buttoned askew. Sneakers instead of dress shoes. And now that he thought about it the burn of alcohol. "Wait, you didn't show up DRUNK to the office did you?" Yixing accused. Yifan snorted, though he didn't turn to face the other male. "Yifan, this isn't like you."

"I'M NOTHING WITHOUT HIM!" Yifan exploded. "Can't you fucking see that." Yixing took a tiny step back, nerves gnawing at his belly. He subconsciously touched the tip of his nose, wincing when it still felt crooked. "I can't just be without him around. Sure. I kept his demons at bay for him. Gave him a focus on something that was positive. But my words still ring true. Tao is my every reason. And without him around I can't function. You might as well have taken ny heart from my chest and stomped on it." Yifan paused, heaving a ragged breath. "I need him home. I need him with me. Now."

"But Jung Ahn's is helping him," Yixing insisted. "Pulling him from there could only make things worse for him. And I know that isn't what you want. You would never do something that hurt him. Not on purpose anyway." Yifan, his back still turned to Yixing, bowed his head. Yixing hummed. "And this dependence... it's not healthy Yifan. Can't you see? You are a separate entity from Zitao. You have all your own thoughts."

"But Zitao kept them sane," Yifan admitted. He finally turned, and what Yixing hadn't been expecting was a stoned face man. No emotions showing whatsoever. "I didn't like my thoughts before I met him. Sure, they were mine. But they weren't good. But then Zitao came along, and while my own inner turmoil never went away, around him, it was like seeing sunshine finally break through storm clouds. He gave me a purpose Yixing. Something good in life that was tangible. And knowing that he thinks his life has so little meaning... That no one would care of he was gone..." Yifan trailed off. "It's unfathomable. I just miss him in the house. I miss his babbling and I miss his little personal touch for the housework and I miss having someone there that fits me so well. That I've known for what feels like my whole life. I miss him. I just want him home." Yifan's voice finally cracked, and with it the rest of him seemed to crumble as well. "God Yixing I need help."

"I can get it for you," Yixing said gently. He approached his cousin. Yifan let him. Let him grab him by the arm, and even though he winced Yixing didn't say a word. He popped his head into the restaurant briefly, explaining ahat was happening, and was granted leave cor the day. He steered Yifan along, guiding him to the car. Helping him carefully settle himself into the passenger seat. Treating him like glass one push away from shattering entirely. Like how they treated Tao.

"It will be alright," Yixing assured, sliding behind the wheel. His cousin didn't say a word on the drive to Jung Ahn's. And Yixing allowed the silence. He knew if he pushed to hard they'd all topple into the abyss. He kept repeating, over and over, that everything would he okay. That they would make it work. That he would be here for them.

He never once mentioned feeling the lines along Yifan's skin, despite the jacket. Even if it was all he could think about.

...

One of the longest chapters yet. A groundbreaking kind of chapter. Once again this is a story I do not rush. I take my time, trying my best to treat these senstive contents with the respect and care they deserve. So I apologize it the wait for this one seems rather long.