June, 2019

The silence was palpable—a cloud hovering overhead as the world around us whirled by as if it were unaffected by the thunder raging nearby.

The airport was absent of people this late in the evening, its desolate state creating more sound than what was exchanged between me and Lukas as the tension between us cut through the air like a knife. Faceless crowds streamed in and out, past us and around us, the ebb and flow of this facility pointless and meaningless as his face remained grim.

We stood by the carousel, waiting for my luggage to arrive, all the while I wondered, If he isn't even going to acknowledge me when I speak to him, why wait? Why not just head home and leave me to figure out my own way back?

Because he wouldn't do that, a voice in the back of my head reminded me. He'd never leave you to walk yourself home at night, especially in London of all places.

I heaved a sigh, which earned me a glance from him.

As I met his iridescent golden gaze that teemed with torture, I tried to fall into them, to read what was going on in that head of his. But too soon he looked away from me, as if meeting my eyes had burned him.

He's acting as if I was cheating on him.

Then again... I have been talking to an ex behind his back this whole time.

Another sigh escaped me, though when I peeked at him again, this time I apparently didn't warrant a glance.

My mouth opened to speak, to try pulling some form of conversation from him, though I was cut short by the bags barreling out of the now-moving carousel. And, to my dismay, mine was one of the first.

Marching over to them, he yanked my luggage off the conveyor and then steamrolled past me.

Once again, I was hurrying after him... or more like flailing as this ship we were on for a glorious twelve hours once again started to sink.

Perhaps we just aren't meant to be...

· · ───── ∘☽༓☾∘ ───── · ·

The well-lit cityscape of London flew by as we sat in the back of the black cab, and after more moments of relentless silence, I finally tried, "Can we talk now?"

He didn't say anything back, just as he hadn't to anything I had blabbered since the mention of Ben's name back in Italy. He had merely marched through the apartment, throwing all of our belongings into bags ignoring me as if I weren't even there... or as if I was a pesky fly on the wall that wouldn't leave him alone.

The nails he had been hammering into my heart over the past few hours dug even deeper with the lack of acknowledgement now.

"Lukas," I tried again, almost in a cry, almost begging, though I was quiet, conscious of our driver in the front.

I thought I'd be met with silence once more, but this time it was worse. "I have nothing to say to you." His attention remained fixated on the world beyond the cab.

"That can't be true." His thoughts had to be racing with the unsaid... mine would be.

He finally looked at me, this time intentionally. When our gazes met though, I flinched back at the animosity that poured from his stare.

Yet I didn't back down. "Say anything. Scream, if you must. But please stop sitting there in silence and creating all sorts of tales in your head that aren't—"

"You've been seeing Ben this whole time you've been back. Is that a tale?" his voice was monotone, face lacking any emotion.

"... That's true, yes. In the literal sense. Though, that's not what I meant by—"

"And despite the multiple chances you had to tell me this news, you chose to withhold this fact. Am I wrong there?"

"I had my reasons."

"That you cannot share. So it's up to me now to fictionalise the reasons you've withheld his existence. I don't think I'm creating any tales in my head that you aren't encouraging."

"If I tell you my reasons, someone might get harmed."

"So it's best if I'm harmed instead, right?"

I sighed, already knowing I was losing this battle of words. "It was never my intention to—"

"Hurt me? You chose to withhold the fact that your ex is still in the picture and you think I'd be immune to that? Or did you think that the times I had opened up to you that the thought of him still getting between us scared me—and you assured me that wouldn't happen—was just me using a bit of hyperbole?"

"But he's not getting between us," I insisted. "He's just a ghost."

"A ghost who has been following us around this whole time as we went on our adventure to bring him back. A ghost who you've been talking to in secret when my back was turned. A ghost who shared a room with you every night and... God, did he watch us?"

"I... He's not always there. Sometimes, oftentimes, he disappears. And he insists he wasn't watching us..."

"Wow. I feel so assured. What a great conversation this has been."

I winced. "Also... I didn't bring him back. I chose you instead."

He scoffed. "Hard choice to make. You can still see him. You're still connected to him. You're—"

"I do not care for him."

"And yet his dead heart is tied to yours in the same way I currently am. Two of us, attached to Olivia yet again. How convenient for you, not having to choose or let one of us go."

I went quiet as the acidity of his tone burned through me, and his stressing of the word 'currently' began to twirl in my mind with its various implications.

I should have never asked Marli to bring him back. I should have just let him stay dead...

"So am I creating tales?" he then pressed when I said nothing.

"No," I mumbled back. "You're not."

"Then what is left to say?"

I had so much to say, but I didn't know where to begin or how to phrase it in a way that wouldn't lead to him either misinterpreting or downplaying my actions. Though there was one thing I had to admit: I messed up. I should have found a way to tell Lukas that Ben was still around, even if it hurt. And my betrayal to his trust... Well, I deserved everything coming to me.

The rest of the ride to the Hammersmith dragged out in silence, only broken once we came to a stop.

I glanced out the window, my brows pinching together when I realised where we were. "I'm coming with you," I insisted as I refused to exit to the Siren's house we were parked in front of.

"Just go home, Olivia," he commanded.

My body went rigid, eyes finally brimming with tears despite how desperately I had held on these past few hours as I told myself his words of anger were just empty punches. "Home?" I whimpered.

He paused, eyes washing over me with a distance that caused the despair to destroy me inside and almost out, my last shred of dignity holding me together. Then he whispered, "Inside. Go inside and get some sleep."

I breathed a shaky sigh of relief before clambering out of the car and grabbing my luggage.

And then he was gone, the car rounding the corner and Lukas leaving my sights without another word.