/thirty nine/

as soon as she opened the door, i offered her a small smile. but she quickly took me by the hand and pulled me inside, shutting the door behind us.

"what's wrong?" i asked her, initially concerned.

she bit down on her lip nervously. "i saw the note you left me, and the soup. how did you get into my apartment?"

i replied to her, matter-of-factly. "you got really drunk at kyra and tae's party last night. and i just helped you get home okay."

"oh god." she brought a hand to her face in embarrassment.

-

so then my first bf started basically harassing me. like he wouldn't leave me alone, begging me to get back together. and so we did. but nothing changed. 

he was still a cheater who would call me a mental case behind my back.

but to my face he was the sweetest bf.

and then in mexico he had another girlfriend. one of my friends caught him and sent me pictures. so we broke up again, she he tried to excise himself by saying that it was just too hard being apart.

he was a jerk.

and it still hurts because i really liked him. but if he wasnt going to love me back, why did he kill my chances with jona?

-clary