Song: In Your Time (It's Okay to Not Be Okay OST)- Lee Suhyun of AKMU

Forgive

We remained staring at each other until Dominic's lips formed into a straight line. He nods his head slowly. He pointed something behind him, probably his car who's parked near mine.

"Uh... mauna na ako." He said which sounded a bit hesitant.

I nod my head. "Okay..."

He played with his car key. He walked slowly backwards until he finally turns his back against mine to go to his car. Tumalikod na rin ako dahil siguro hanggang doon nalang ang pag-uusap namin at hindi na masusundan pa iyon.

I was about to squat in front of Ariana's grave when Dominic called my name.

"Arielle..."

I turn to him quickly like I was looking forward for it. Hindi ko ipinahalata na medyo umasa nga akong tatawagin niya ako ulit.

"Yes?"

Gosh, I hope I didn't sound really hopeful!

Humugot muna siya ng malalim na hininga. He chuckled shyly while scratching the back of his head. He couldn't even look straight into my eyes!

"Lunch?" saglit niyang inangat ang tingin sa akin bago binalik muli sa mga damo.

Napangisi ako. Bakit mukhang nahihiya siya? Hindi ganyan ang Dominic na kilala ko. Makapal ang mukha ng isang 'yon! Ang feeling rin minsan.

Dominic patiently waited for my answer. Natawa naman ako ng bahagya dahil hindi niya talaga ako matingnan ng diretso sa mata! Paano kaya kung hindi ako papayag? Baka basta nalang tumalikod 'to at fi na talaga ako tiningnan.

"Okay." I answered simply.

Nang dahil sa gulat siguro kaya mabilis siyang napaangat ng tingin sa akin. His eyes widened a bit with shock.

"Really?!"

Napangiti ako. I raised a brow at him and cocked my head to the side.

"Ayaw mo?"

"Syempre g-gusto!" nauutal pero dali-dali niyang sagot.

My smile grew bigger. Oh! This man!

"Okay... wait for me. I'll just talk to my sister."

He smiled at me in return before nodding his head. Ngayon may lakas na siya ng loob na tingnan ako sa mata!

"I've waited for you for five years, Arielle. So, waiting for you again for a few hours won't hurt. Take your time."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes playfully at him.

"I won't take hours!"

"Well, that's better than five years. Anyways, I'll be in my car."

Tuluyan na nga siyang tumalikod sa akin upang magtungo sa kotse niya pagkatapos noon. Hindi parin nawawala ang ngiti ko sa labi kahit na hinarap ko na ang puntod ni Ariana.

"Ikaw talaga... kahit kailan..." turo ko sakanya na para bang siya ang may pakana ng lahat ng ito. "Mahal na mahal mo talaga ko 'no kaya alam na alam mo rin kung ano magpapasaya sa akin."

I squatted in front of her grave to light up a candle. I rested my arms on my knees. I smiled at her grave again as I ran my fingers through it.

"I'm sorry it took me a while before I can visit you. Sobrang naging abala lanh at ito na 'yung pinakamahaba kong bakasyon simula nang bumalik ako dito. I heard he's been visiting you huh?" I couldn't help but imagine all those times that Dominic visited her grave. "What do you think of him? Okay ba? Mabait ba?"

I must be crazy for asking her that question kahit na alam kong hindi na niya masasagot 'yon. I'm just really overwhelmed by the fact that Dominic took time to visit her grave even if he wasn't able to meet her back when she was still alive.

"It's been an exhausting week, Ariana. Dominic and I... finally talked. I felt relieved knowing that the burden that I have inside is gone. Ang sarap na ulit sa pakiramdam na maging malaya ulit. Maybe you were telling God about my wishes that's why it happened all of the sudden?" I chuckled.

"I know I always say this but... I still wish you were here to celebrate all our achievements. I'm pretty sure by now you're aiming to become the best CPA in the country. We had a lot of dreams together and it's sad because I'm the only one who was able to achieve it because... you left the world so early.

"I'm so sorry for the accident, Ariana. I didn't mean it. I didn't want you dead like what most people thinks. You know I would never do that to you. You were my only best friend and I loved you so much. I miss you... every single day and sometimes I wonder what would it be like if you're still here? I wish things were different."

I took a deep breath and let out a heavy sigh. Yumuko ako at hinaplos muli ang lapida niya. A tear fell from my eye. Suminghap ako at pinalis iyon.

"Don't worry... kapag nagkaroon ulit ako ng oras, babalik ako dito. Kahit na bumalik na ako ulit sa New York, babalik ako rito para sa'yo... at malay mo... para rin sa iba," tumawa ako. "Thank you for pulling the strings so that Dominic and I will see each other again. You probably know how much I love him that's why you're also trying to make things okay between us again."

"'Wag kang mag-alala, babalik ulit ako dito kapag nagkaayos na kami. I promise that you'll be the first one to know. I love you, Ariana. I know I can be reckless and stubborn at times so please watch over me all the time. I'll see you again soon."

I stood up and wiped away my tears. I was about to walk away when I saw whose grave is beside Ariana's. It's my Papa's.

Bumuka ang bibig ko. I didn't know he was also buried here. Well, I should probably expected that but I was just surprised. If I only knew I should've brought flowers for him as well. I sigh heavily and squatted again.

Inalis ko ang mga dahon sa ibabaw ng lapida niya upang mas makita ng maigi ang pangalan niya.

"Hi, Papa..." my greeting almost sounded like a whisper. "I'm sorry if I didn't know you've passed. Kung alam ko lang po sana nag punta ako sa libing mo kahit na hindi ako sigurado kung gugustohin ba nila Mama na makita ako doon. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you were saying your goodbyes kahit na... hindi rin ako sigurado kung kasama ba ako sa mga taong gusto mong magpaalam."

I smiled bitterly to myself.

"I just want you to know that I'm done being mad at you for... everything. Heck, I wasn't even mad. I feel like I was just... lonely... and sad that I couldn't feel anything other than pain and anger. But that still doesn't change the fact that I love you so much. I wish I was able to remind you that while you were still here. I wish I was able to tell you how thankful I am for the life you have given me. You may not have treated me like how you treated my other siblings, but... I'm still grateful for it, Papa."

I clenched my jaw as more tears continue to fell from my eye. I pursed my lips.

"I don't wish for you to be proud of what I achieved but... a part of it was all for you and Mama. I may not have spoken to her for years but if I would be given a chance to speak to her again, I'll tell her the same thing. Thank you for taking care of me when I was a kid; for providing me things, for feeding me, for providing me home... everything.

"I'm sorry if I wasn't asking much about you the past few years, because the last I heard from you, you were doing well... and so I didn't worry because I know how strong of a man you are and I know you can beat whatever you are going through. I'm sorry for a lot of things and I hope you were able to forgive me for it. I didn't know what love feels like while growing up, Papa, but I was sure that I still love you even if you don't love me the same."

I smiled at my Papa's tomb. I kiss my fingers before I touch his gravestone as if I was passing my kiss to him.

"I'll see you again soon. I love you, Papa..."

Kumuha ako ng iilang bulaklak na dala ko para kay Ariana upang ipatong sa lapida ni Papa. I wiped away my tears and made sure my eyes weren't swollen from crying before knocking on Dominic's car window. It was down so I saw what he's doing.

Mukhang nabigla siya sa biglaan kong pagkatok dahil nabitawan niya ang pabangong hawak niya. Hindi ko maiwasang mapangisi dahil nahuli ko siya. He must've become conscious of himself knowing he's going to lunch with me.

"Let's go." Aya ko.

Tumango siya at nagmamadaling inayos ang kanyang mga gamit. He then wore his aviators before he turns to me.

"I'll be behind you."

"Okay." I answered.

Agad naman akong nagtungo sa sasakyan ko at pinatunog iyon. I fixed my rearview mirror once I got inside to look at his car behind me. His car is heavily tinted so I don't know what he's doing inside. I started the car and immediately left the cemetery after.

I have no idea where he wanted us to go. Basta niya nalang naman akong inaya na maglunch without even telling me where we're going. Kaya naman kinuha kong oportunidad ang stop light para tawagan siya.

He answered on its first ring.

"Where do you want to eat?" I asked once he answered my call.

"Ikaw bahala."

Ngumuso ako. Siya 'tong nag-aya tapos ako pagdedesisyonin!

"You're the one who asked me for lunch so you should've decided where to bring me." I said, knocking some sense to him.

Sana nag hanap na siya ng restaurant kanina habang hinihintay niya ako! Inuna pa ata ang pagpapabango bago 'yon.

"I didn't know you were going to agree."

"Pupwede ko naman bawiin ang desisyon ko kung ayaw mo."

"What?!" he raised his voice. "No! Fine! Go to Rockwell. We'll eat there."

Tingnan mo nga ang bilis magdesisyon pag napressure! I smiled, trying hard not to chuckle at him. It's been a while since I felt this light. Sana ganito nalang palagi.

"Hung up now, Arielle. Red light is almost over. Masyado mo akong miss."

I snorted at his remark. He's so unbelievable! Napailing nalang ako sa sinabi niya.

"Ang feeling mo!"

'Yun ang sinabi ko sakanya bago ko ibaba ang tawag. Our drive to Rockwell was a bit stressful since the traffic was so bad! Halos mag-wala na ako dito sa loob ng sasakyan sa gutom! This is what sucks here in Manila! Just like in New York! Traffic din!

I sigh in relief once we've finally reached the mall's parking. When I found a spot, I glanced at Dominic who happens to found a parking space beside my car. Pinatay ko ang makina ng sasakyan ko bago ko kunin ang Christian Dior saddle bag ko.

Dominic and I went out of our cars the same time. Pagkatapos niyang patunugin ang sasakyan niya ay agad siyang lumapit sa akin upang iabot ang isang baseball cap sa akin. My forehead creased.

"What's this for?" I asked.

"Don't you need it? People might recognize you. Baka pagkagulohan ka pa. You don't have your bodyguards with you."

"Then be my bodyguard."

I chuckled. Kinuha ko ang baseball cap sakanya at sinuot iyon. He fixed my hair for me and tucked some strands of my hair behind my ear. A ghost smile appeared on my lips as I watch him fix my hair. I raised a brow at him after he finished.

"Ang gwapo ko para maging bodyguard lang. Bakit hindi nalang boyfriend ulit?" the brute freaking suggested.

I gasp because I couldn't believe he just said that! Wow at his confidence! That really took me off guard! Dominic laughs hard at my reaction.

"I'm just kidding. Pwede namang asawa nalang."

Mas lalo namang namilog ang mga mata ko sa sinabi niya. Wala talagang control ang bunganga niya minsan 'no!?

Napangisi siya dahil alam niyang wala akong marerebutt sa sinabi niya. How could he take things like these lightly? He can't just talk being spouses without meaning it!

"You know what? Can't we just eat already? I'm hungry!" reklamo ko.

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin dahil hindi parin nawawala ang ngisi sa labi niya! Ugh! He's so annoying! Annoying me must be his past time now.

Nanatili naman siyang nakatayo sa harap ko sa halip na mauna na sa akin. I irritatingly raise my brow at him, wondering while he's still not moving!

"Lead the way, bodyguard" I said with a glint of mockery.

Inirapan ko siya at tumalikod na. I crossed my arms over my chest as I wait for him to lead the way like what I requested. But instead of doing it, the brute wrapped his arm around my shoulder! The audacity!

"Okay? What's this for? I told you to lead the way not wrap your arm around me!" I tried to remove his arm around mine but he wouldn't budge.

"As your bodyguard, it is my job to protect you. And this is also how I lead the way."

"Tss..." I rolled my eyes again. "But my bodyguards never wrapped their arms around my shoulders."

"I'm the only bodyguard who can do that. It's one of my privileges." He started leading the way. Nanatili akong nakahalukipkip habang iginigiya niya ako papasok ng mall.

I mocked him. "Or maybe you just want to make a move."

"And that, too."

I playfully hit him on his stomach. He grunted and glared at me.

"Just make sure I won't get mobbed or something or else I'll curse you to death." I said.

The mall's guard greeted us as we entered. Dominic raised his hand at him as a sign of greeting while I only smiled a little. Ngumuso ako. Now is the only time I could go to a mall like a normal person. No bodyguards around me... no fans following me around... just nothing.

"It would be a pleasure to be cursed by you, Arielle."

"Oh my god! Can you stop?"

Tumawa lang siya ang kinurot ang tungki ng ilong ko. Tinampal ko ang kamay niya. Tingnan mo nga ang isang 'to akala mo close na kami ulit, e!

"Wow! Close tayo?!"

"Oo. Nakaakbay nga ako sa'yo, e. Ibig sabihin no'n close tayo."

"Edi alisin mo!"

"Gusto mo?" hamon niya.

Hindi agad ako nakasagot. Ayoko nga! Sa halip na sabihin 'yan ay sinamaan ko nalang siya ng tingin. He probably felt that I didn't want that to happen so he took that to his advantage to pull me closer to him.

Wala akong nagawa at napabuntong hininga nalang. Hay naku, Dominic!

We were immediately greeted by a waitress when we went inside the restaurant he chose.

"Good morning, Mr. Donovan. Another private room po ba for a meeting?"

"Yes. But no, not for a meeting but for a date."

I glanced at the two and saw a teasing smirk at the waitress' lips. So, are they close? Kilala siya rito so ibig sabihin ba no'n madalas siya dito? At anong date siya diyan! Hindi na ako pumalag at pinasadahan nalang ng tingin ang restaurant.

Some people are taking glances at our direction. Hindi ko alam kung namumukhaan ba nila ako o kilala nila si Dominic. But either way, wala akong pake. Wala rin akong pakealam kung ma-iissue ang kung sino man sa amin pagtapos ng lunch na ito. Masyado na akong maraming issue sa buhay at wala na akong pakealam dito.

Tamad ko namang muling nilingon ang dalawa. Ang waitress abala na sa pag-utos na ipaayos na iyong private room na gusto ni Dominic habang si Dominic naman ay mataman lang na nakatingin sa akin. He raised a brow at me.

I sigh and faced him with my arms crossed.

"Why request a private room if we can just dine with the other customers here?" I asked curiously.

"You think I will let one of the highest-paid supermodels dine with anyone that can be a risk to her safety? It's better to be safe than sorry, Arielle. Plus, I didn't want the other customers to get distracted by my face. I know I'm too hot to handle."

I look at him ridiculously. Seriously? When will this guy stop building himself up? Ang dami niyang baon na confidence ngayong araw ah? I scoffed and shake my head.

"Ah? Talaga?" I made a face and rolled my eyes at him.

He mocked me and chuckled after. Umayos siya ng tayo at pinasok ang magkabilang kamay sa kanyang bulsa habang hinihilig niya ang sarili sa counter noong waitress.

"It's our safety that matters to me, Arielle. I didn't want anything bad to happen while we're both here."

"Why? Are you so high up now that there's someone out there that wants to hurt you physically?" that was meant to mock him but I didn't know that he's going to take it seriously.

"Yeah..." he said softly.

"What?! So there really is someone..."

He sighed heavily and shrugged his shoulders.

"It happens in the business world, Arielle. Don't worry. Hindi naman ako mamamatay. Papakasalan pa kita."

That left me in shock! Hindi ko siya makapaniwalang tiningnan habang nanatilin naman siyang nakangisi sa akin. Will someone please tape his mouth? Kung ano-ano nang non-sense ang lumalabas sa bibig niya!

At dahil nabigla parin sa sinabi niya hindi ko na napansin na iginigiya na pala kami ng waitress patungo doon sa private room. Kung hindi pa siguro pinulupot ni Dominic ang braso niya sa baywang ko baka di na ko nakalagaw ng tuluyan sa pwesto ko.

Napakurap ako at sinubukang lumakad ng maayos kahit na lumilipad ang utak ko sa kung saan. Paanong parang simpleng bagay lang sakanya ang kasal para sabihin niya iyon ng gano'n-gano'n lang! That is a serious matter to me! You don't just tell your plans about marriage to anyone if you don't meant it!

Bakas parin siguro sa mukha ko ang pagkabahala kaya bahagya siyang yumuko upang may ibulong sa akin.

"But I'm serious though. Once you forgive me, I won't hesitate to try again until I can ask for your hand in marriage."

I waited for the waitress to open the door for us. Gumilid siya bago niya kami iginiya papasok. She smiled at me.

Once we were inside, I faced Dominic and squinted my eyes at him.

"You have to prove yourself to me first before I answer your proposal."

Tumawa siya at ngumisi. "I will win your heart again, Arielle. I'll win it not because of another stupid bet but because we both want to be together. Watch me, I'll win it."

It's funny how we can talk about this now properly without putting the past between us. We both just suddenly forgot about it and acted like nothing happened. I so long waited for this. Matagal kong hinintay na mawala ang galit na nararamdaman ko sakanya. Ang tagal kong hinintay na humupa 'yon.

"Still very cocky." Sabi ko bago na naunang maupo sa hapag.

Agad rin namang kaming umorder nang lumapit ang waiter sa amin. He's the one who chose our wine. Kaya siguro dinala niya ako sa restaurant na 'to dahil isa pala ito sa sinusupplyan niya ng wine! Gusto ata mag-yabang ng ito, e.

Hindi na ako nagulat nang makita ko na isa sa gawa niya ang inorder niya. It's not the Serenity Wine because he knows that I already tasted it so he wanted me to taste another one of his works.

The waiter put a good amount of wine on my glass. Kinuha ko iyon at inamoy. I nod my head pleasingly because it smells great!

"Have you ever tasted one of your ex-boyfriend's wines?" Dominic asked bitterly.

I smirked. "I already tasted his Serenity Wine."

Sinamaan niya ako ng tingin pagkatapos niyang ibaba ang wine glass niya.

"I'm talking about Samuel, Arielle. Not me."

Tumawa ako at tinikman na ang wine niya. In fairness wala atang patapon sa mga gawa niya.

"No. I haven't tasted anything from his works and I don't intend to."

"Then how are you able to promote his wine if you haven't tasted anything?" his forehead creased now.

"The ad campaign at 'yung mga kaplastikan na sinasabi ko sa mga prospects niya. Wala namang nakasaad sa kontrata namin na kailangan kong matikman ang gawa niya. My only purpose is to promote and build him up. I'm not the FDA to taste anything from his business."

Natawa siya sa sagot ko. He kind of looks proud of my answer.

"What made you decide to work with him?"

"I didn't decide. My agency wants me to because he's offering a big amount of money and they think it can help me with my career. At hindi ko alam na kompanya niya 'yon."

"I can also help you with your career if only I was quick enough to offer you a contract."

"You're too late." Umismid ako at uminom muli ng wine.

"I know. And I don't think you're going to accept it if you learned that it was from my company."

Inangat ko ang tingin sakanya at napansin na medyo tumamlay ang timpla niya. He pursed his lips. Nanatili siyang nakatitig sa wine glass niya habang pinaglalaruan iyon.

"Wala rin naman akong balak tanggapin ang offer ni Samuel noon dahil wala akong balak bumalik dito."

"So, should I thank Samuel for offering you a contract then? Because if it wasn't for that, we wouldn't see each other again. You're still going to ignore me and hide away from me."

"I was mad at you so it's normal."

"E, ngayon? Hindi na?" titig na titig na siya sa akin ngayon.

I leveled the intensity of his stare. It looks like he's anticipating for my answer. Na para bang kung ano man ang magiging sagot ko, tatanggapin niya iyon.

"Hindi ko alam."

I'm still unsure of what I feel now. The only thing I'm sure of, the grudge is no longer there. Magaan na ang loob ko ngayon dahil nagkalinawan na naman na kami simula nung nag-usap kami noong nakaraang araw.

At isa pa, maayos ang pakiramdam ko ngayon dahil maayos rin naming napapakisamahan ang isa't isa.

Our lunch was good. Dominic initiated to pay for our meal but I did not let him. At dahil nga ayaw niyang magalit ulit ako sakanya, pumayag siyang ako ang magbabayad ng pagkain ko.

Maaga pa at kung uuwi na agad ako, mabuburyo lang ako sa penthouse. Wala akong gagawin doon at baka kulitin lang rin ako ni Carol doon.

"Where do you want to go next?" tanong ni Dominic nang makalabas na kami ng restaurant.

"Aren't you busy?"

"What will I be busy for?"

"Hmm... meetings? Events? Parties? Anything?"

"I cancelled it."

My eyes widened. "Why?!"

"This is more important. Come on, tell me where you're headed next. I'm your bodyguard for today so I'm going to accompany you."

Mukhang ayaw niya rin pag-usapan kaya hindi ko na pinilit. Actually, hindi ko rin alam ang balak kong gawin. I'm not in the mood to shop or anything but I still went inside Michael Kors to search for anything that I don't need.

I checked out some of the watches. Wala pa akong nabibiling regalo para kay Carol at Mama. Iniisip ko rin kung bibigyan ko rin ba 'tong bodyguard wannabe ko ng regalo. Hmm... pwede na rin siguro. Magpapasko naman at uso na ang bigayan.

"You're buying a watch for yourself?" tanong ni Dominic.

Umiling ako. Pinasadahan ko ng tingin ang iba't ibang disenyo ng relo sa harap ko. Humanap ako ng disenyo na babagay kay Carol at Mama.

"Then for who?"

Chismoso 'tong bodyguard na 'to. Buti nalang isang araw lang inavail 'to.

"For my manager and for my Mama."

"You're... talking to her now?"

"No," I scoffed. "I just wanted to give her something for Christmas. Kung hindi niya tatanggapin, akin nalang. Kaya pipili na rin ako ng design na bagay sa akin para hindi sayang. Uh, Miss, can I see this?"

I raised my gaze at the attendant and smiled at her. Tinuro ko iyong disenyo na natipuhan ko.

"I'm sorry about your father."

Nalaman niya na rin siguro ang tungkol doon dahil madalas siya sa puntod ni Ariana. At isa pa, baka narinig niya rin iyong sinabi ni Ate Vicky noon. She was screaming her accusations of me na bumalik lang daw ako dahil gusto kong manggulo ulit dahil wala na si Papa.

Hay naku! Ate Vicky and her big mouth!

"It's okay. Gano'n talaga."

I stared at the watch in awe as the attendant showed it to my face. Bagay na bagay 'to kay Carol! It's a combination of silver and rose gold and I'm sure Carol will like it since it's from me. Kailangan niyang magustohan 'to.

"I'm getting this one. And... oh, that one! Can I look at it?" I pointed at the gold watch that caught my eye.

Kinuha iyon ng attendant upang ipakita sa akin. I checked it out before deciding that I'm also going to buy it.

"I'm getting both. Thanks." I smiled a little at the lady before I face Dominic again.

"Wala kang trabaho ngayon?" tanong niya.

"It's my rest day before I fly to Thailand."

"Oh, you're going out of the country tomorrow?"

"No. I still have 3 days before my scheduled work in Thailand. Why are you curious by the way?"

Nagkibit siya ng balikat at ngumuso. Mukhang may balak ang isang 'to ah?

"Ano ang plano mo sa mga araw ng bakasyon mo?"

"Hindi ko alam. Depende sa'yo. Bakit may plano ka?" nakangisi kong tanong.

"Depende din kung papayag ka."

"Paano naman kung ayaw ko?"

"Then I won't force you. I'm just hoping that this won't be the last time we... get to hang out again."

Tumawa ako."Baka naman kalimutan mo na ang trabaho mo niyan."

"I can multitask." Mayabang niyang sagot.

I rolled my eyes playfully at him. Tinawag naman ako ng attendant para sa payment noong bibilhin ko. Nang matapos, si Dominic na ang nag-offer na magbitbit sa akin noon. The sun is already setting when I finished buying things that I don't even need!

Nag-panic buying na naman ako dahil lang ayaw ko pang umuwi!

Since Dominic and I refuse to go home yet, we both decided to walk about Rockwell center. I also want to treasure this day since it was one of those rare days where I get to be normal again. Far from the spotlight and people's watchful eyes.

I am also glad that no one recognizes me yet or maybe these people just don't me so they don't give a damn.

"Do you even think about what happened and wonder where we would be if it didn't?" I asked while we were walking down the street.

"We're probably engaged by now."

"Tss." I shake my head. Nilingon ko siya at may hilaw na ngisi na gumuhit sa aking labi. "There you go again with those marriage jokes."

"If wasn't even a joke, Arielle. I'm serious."

"Oh, really? 'Yan ba ang iniisip mo tuwing wala kang magawa ha?" I made a face and rolled my eyes at him.

"Yeah, because I think about you all the time," I glanced at him in surprise. Hindi naman siya nakatingin sa akin at nanatili lang diretso ang mga mata niya. "We were both still young back then but I know what I felt about you. It wasn't just something that I know will last for months or years... but it was something that I know will last forever."

Tinikom ko ang bibig ko dahil bigla akong naubusan ng salita sa sinabi niya.

"And yes... I think about what happened. Paano kaya kung hindi nangyari 'yun? Makakamit ba natin 'tong mga bagay na mayroon tayo ngayon? Maybe it's the universe's way to tell us that we should learn how to grow without each other. Because if we're really meant to be... we'll both find our way back to each other. And look at us now."

"Paano kung hanggang dito lang pala 'to? Paano kung gusto lang pala ng mundo na iparamdam ulit sa atin 'to pero hindi talaga 'to ang para sa atin?" tanong ko.

"Hindi ako papayag." Agad niyang sagot.

I clenched my jaw.

"Hindi ako papayag na hanggang ganito nalang tayo. I didn't wait for you for years for us to end this way. I waited for you because I wanted to prove myself to you. Na hindi ako 'yung lalaking inakala mo."

"Paano kung hindi ko na kayang ibalik ang dati kong nararamdaman para sa'yo?"

Natigilan siya sa tanong kong iyon. It was a stupid question, I know. Dahil alam ko naman na hindi totoo 'yan. Kung ano ang nararamdaman ko sakanya noon, gano'n parin naman ngayon. Baka mas humigit lang but it was still the same intensity.

It wasn't like this with other people. He's the only one who can make me feel this way. The one who can still win my heart again even after breaking it to pieces.

"Then... I... I don't know," his voice sound pained. "Hindi ko naisip 'yan. And I couldn't imagine being with anyone else but you."

"Not even Hannah?"

"I never liked her. I thought I was attracted because I was a stupid teenager. I like fooling around before you came so I didn't know what love is like. I only learned it from you. You taught me how to love, Arielle."

I pressed my lips into a straight line. I let out a heavy sigh.

"Why did you fix it?" I asked, referring to my condo unit. "You should've left my mess and let me deal with it on its own. After all, it was mine to fix. So, why did you do it?" 

"Because it pained me to see how much of a mess I've put you into. Sinubukan kong puntahan ka para makipag-usap pero iyon ang naabutan ko. It was devastating to see because that's probably how much pain you must've felt when you found out about the bet. You never cried about anything, Arielle, and yet you cried because of me. Doon palang... nakita ko na kung gaano kita nasaktan."

Suminghap ako. I bit my lower lip to stop my hiccups. I felt his hand brushed mine but I didn't flinch.

"I fixed it because I thought... that way... I could also fix what's broken between us. Alam kong hindi pa 'yon sapat. Pero handa naman akong pagbayaran ang lahat."

"You've already done enough, Dominic." I said softly.

Parehas kaming natigil sa paglalakad. Bahagya kong inangat ang tingin sakanya at nakitang may isang luha na pumatak sa kanyang mga mata. Parang kanina lang maayos-ayos pa ang usapan namin tapos ngayon may iyakan na naman ulit?

"You've already done enough..." I repeated in a low voice. "I want to go home."

"Okay."

Tahimik ang naging paglalakad namin pabalik ng parking. None of us speaks because we both felt like it wasn't a good time to say anything related to what happened. We both just decided to stay silent and enjoy the peace.

It was awkward when we reached our respective cars. I didn't know if I have to say goodbye or is there a need to? We couldn't even look at each other's eye because it was too awkward!

"Uh... here." Ani Dominic sabay inabot sa akin ang pinamili ko kanina.

Tipid akong ngumiti at kinuha na sakanya 'yon. Kasabay naman noon ay ang pagsaoli ko noong cap na pinahiram niya sa akin.

"Thanks."

Dominic nods his head slowly before he awkwardly pointed at his car. Nang tumalikod siya, tumalikod na rin ako at binuksan ang back seat upang doon ilagay ang mga pinamili ko. Sinulyapan ko siya at nakitang nanatili lang siyang nakaharap sa sasakyan niya at hindi pa pumapasok.

I closed the back seat door. Nagtungo naman ako sa tapat ng pinto ng driver's seat. Hinawakan ko ang handle noon at sa halip na buksan na iyon ay nanatili lang rin akong nakatayo at nakatulala sa dami ng naiisip.

Pakiramdam ko may kulang. Parang may isa akong bagay na gusto kong gawin at hindi ako makakatulog ng maayos kung hindi ko gagawin 'to ngayon. I also didn't want to leave without doing it especially now that I'm really sure of what I wanted to do.

Nagpakawala ako ng malalim na hininga. I closed my eyes and prepared myself. This is the right thing to do now. Ito rin ang sinisigaw ng puso ko kaya nararapat lang na gawin ko ito.

I want us to get over it. It's time to put everything behind us. We are both tired from it and we've both already learned. It's time to finally free ourselves from the past that would no longer define us.

"Dominic." I called and turn to him.

Nang marinig niya ang pangalan niya ay agad din siyang lumingon sa akin na para bang 'yun nga ang hinihintay niyang gawin ko.

"Yeah?"

Hindi ako sumagot at sa halip ay humakbang lang palapit sakanya. He stood up straight, probably to prepare himself from what's about to happen. Nang mapansin niyang hindi ako tumigil sa paglalakad ay humakbang na rin siya upang salubungin ako.

It's like something clicked when we finally reached each other. Basta nalang din siyang yumuko upang siilin ng halik ang labi ko na para bang nabasa niya ang tinatakbo ng utak ko. I smiled when I felt his soft lips on mine.

I pulled the nape of his neck closer to me to deepened the kiss. It was sweet and passionate. A kiss that is full of longing. We kissed each other like we were taking all our pains away. Like we're finally putting our past behind us.

I kissed him slowly to devour the taste of his lips. I know this is not the right place to do this but we have nowhere else to do it! This is the perfect time and I couldn't let it pass!

We were both panting heavily when we parted from the kiss. He rests his forehead on mine as he catches his breath. The smile on my lips didn't leave my face. He chuckled when he realized what just happened.

"So... do you forgive me now?" tanong niya.

I nod my head and pulled him closer to me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and whispered on his ear.

"Yeah... I forgive you."

He buried his face on my shoulder and hugged me tighter. He gently caressed my back. I closed my eyes when I felt his warmth against mine. I missed this. Ang tagal kong hinintay na mangyari 'to ulit.

"Ibig sabihin ba niyan... pupwede na rin kitang pakasalan?"

Humalakhak ako at kumalas mula sa pagkakayakap niya para hampasin ang braso niya. Hindi makapaniwala ko siyang tiningnan.

"I can't believe you!" I exclaimed. "Bilis mo ah? Nagmamadali ka ba?"

Dominic let out a laugh and pinched the bridge of my nose. Tinampal ko ang kamay niya. I continued to chuckle as he sealed my lips with a kiss again.