the raven

~~~

IT WAS DAWN.

Violetpaw had hardly slept a wink last night. Her mind had whirled as she created today's plan and, other than for a brief stint where Stormbird visited her (she had no clue what to say to him) and she pretended to be asleep, she'd hardly even closed her eyes. 

She can hear the warriors now, whispering as they gather into their patrols, ready to set off to SkyClan's camp. Somewhere near the back of the den came Featherpool's snores; the medicine cat was exhausted after staying up all night addressing wound after wound.

Once all the patrols had left, Violetpaw pushed herself to her paws shakily. This all ends today. Honeykit ends today.

There were a few warriors guarding the camp, and among them, she noticed, was Ravendust. The black tom was sitting beneath the Highledge, looking antsy and tense, flicking his ears every few seconds. When he spotted Violetpaw standing at the medicine den's entrance, his eyes instantly narrowed with fiery disapproval, but there was hardly a second before he was on his paws and padding over.

Huh. Maybe she could get him to kill her.

"Why do you insist on leaving the nest before you're healed?" Ravendust demanded as he neared. "Have you got some condition where you can't lay still for a single moment?"

Violetpaw shrugged, gesturing to the forest. "Why aren't you out there?"

Ravendust paused, then nodded at his leg. He had a large gash there, wrapped a little messily with cobwebs, blood seeping through the bandage. Violetpaw winced, feeling guilty for not noticing it last night. 

"Oh. Are you-" She paused, the words feeling strange and foreign in the fact that she's addressing Ravendust. "Are you alright?"

He twitched his pelt, clearly caught off guard by her question. "It's no big deal."

"Oh. Okay. Good." Violetpaw looked around, searching for something to say. What could she say?

She'd been thinking all night about... everything. Today was the day she was going to end her life and deal with Honeykit. What does she say to Ravendust now? Tell him her plan? Tell him about the Ghost Assassin? 

She didn't have a plan for this, for what to say to him. All she knew was that she couldn't just go off to StarClan without saying anything. Not while he was right here.

So, she settled for something simpler, something she wanted to tell him before the day's end.

"Ravendust, I think I like you."

She came to realize this only as she spoke. Violetpaw had never thought about it before, thought about it fully - to her, Ravendust was Brightpaw's. But she couldn't help it, and as the words came out, she felt fully that they were true. 

She liked Ravendust.

Great StarClan, who would've guessed?

The words came tumbling out of Violetpaw's mouth in a quick spurt, and she was suddenly grasped with the fear that Ravendust would laugh at her.

But he didn't. Instead, his ears stood up on his head, his eyes gleaming with surprise. "You think you what?"

For a moment, Violetpaw was worried that her words had gotten all mixed together and she'd have to repeat herself. But then, she caught the teasing twinkle in Ravendust's eye, and the white she-cat scowled.

"You mousebrain, I know you heard me."

"I heard something, but it was a little muffled at the end," Ravendust mewed, a hint of a smile on his face. "Can you say it again, please? Slower, and a little more enunciated."

Great StarClan, Violetpaw thought, glaring at him with flustered frustration. Why do I even like this tom?

But then, his hint of a smile broke out into a full one before he quickly retracted it to his serious face, and the white she-cat's heart skipped a beat. 

I need help, she thought as she repeated herself.

"Ravendust, I think that I like you," she mewed, before muttering, "though I really can't imagine why-"

"Did you say think?" the black tom interrupted, still teasing. "You think you like me?"

Violetpaw flushed. "Fine, I know. Now shut up."

Ravendust tilted his head, and perhaps Violetpaw was mistaken, but she swore there was a certain fondness in his actions. "Well, aren't you just the smoothest talker?"

The white she-cat ignored him. "I just wanted to say that. And, er, now that you know, I'm going to go-"

"Oh, come on now, you can't just say that then walk away. You're not off the hook yet." Ravendust grinned, darting around to block Violetpaw's path - though slower than he normally would've moved due to his leg. "What do you like about me?"

Violetpaw rolled her eyes. "No way-"

"My charming personality? My ruggedly good looks?" he mewed. 

Violetpaw thought about it. She thought about how much comfort she'd found in him during their time in SkyClan's camp. She remembered how safe she'd felt in enemy lands, knowing that he was going to try his hardest to get both of them home alive. 

And, no matter how much she'd denied or pushed it away before, they were friends. He knows as much about her as Sweetpaw does, and they always seemed to wind up interacting somehow, even when they fought against it.

But most importantly, no matter how much they bickered, Violetpaw always felt certain that Ravendust would have her back. There was a certain strong, reliable loyalty about him that made her completely relaxed. No matter what happened, he would take care of her.

Or no- not her. Violetpaw's ears twitched a little as she remembered that she didn't have a future with him. No, it was Brightpaw he'd watch over.

Then, realizing that Ravendust was still waiting for an answer, the white she-cat tried putting everything she'd just thought into words.

"Well, er, you're hardworking and smart and surprisingly funny and-"

"Surprisingly?" Ravendust broke in. Despite targeting that one word - clearly just because he enjoyed seeing her struggle - he seemed to understand what Violetpaw was actually thinking and poorly communicating, as his eyes seemed to round with a certain softness. 

The white she-cat ignored him, plunging on. "And Brightpaw is a very lucky cat."

And instantly, just like that, Ravendust's face twisted. "Brightpaw?"

Violetpaw nodded awkwardly, suddenly too shy to meet his eyes. "Yup. You know, you like her, she likes you, and now you two can grow up and have Brightkit and Ravenkit the Second."

She was rambling. She unfortunately does that when she gets nervous.

Ravendust looked more confused than ever. "Violetpaw, what in the world?" He shook his head. "Come on, I thought you knew. It's not Brightpaw-"

And very quickly, Violetpaw interrupted him. All she had wanted to do was to confess to him simply because of her plan to go off to the spirit realms - she would've never had the guts to do this if she had to face him tomorrow. She'd fully expected him to laugh her off, and then she would die. Simple as that.

If he was about to tell her he liked her as well... That would make this entire thing more complicated. She didn't want to hear it.

"I have to make dirt."

That didn't clear up the lost expression Ravendust was wearing. "Violetpaw- what?"

"Dirt. I have to make dirt." She cleared her throat awkwardly. "If you'll excuse me."

Without another word, she turned sharply and marched over to the dirt tunnel, a very puzzled Ravendust staring after her. Once she entered, in the darkness of the tunnel, away from anyone's eyes, Violetpaw took a deep breath.

She stared at the tunnel's opening, flexing her paws as she urged herself to move out into the woods. She has to do this.

"Come on, now or never," she whispered to herself.

Then, she sprinted out of the tunnel and into the forest.

~~~

not a huge fan of this chapter, i feel like violetpaw & ravendust's confessions might be a little rushed? and are just awful imo lmao, i wrote this chapter around the same time i wrote viperfoot & frozenlight's confession scene in anemone and was just so through with it. definitely not my strong suit haha

anyhow i just wanted to get this out because this book is pretty close to finishing!! and i don't really know how else to rewrite it lmao

have an amazing day, and thank you for reading!

~ lily