I slip into a peaceful sleep-

And revel in blissful dreams,

My very first step, my very last breath

And everything in between.

Beneath my body, as petals of rose

The wood crumbs still withering

I cut off the last of the earthly ties

That me to the earth were tethering.

My days are past, my hands are clasped

Together in rigid defiance

I've taken my final surge of air

I've broken the yearlong alliance.

And I mentally feel, the flimsy reel

Rewind to a year ago

"The results are positive, dear sir

You have one year more."

I silently thank the Almighty

For Man is born to die

But few men get a timely warning

Before death comes crashing by.

And boy I'd made, those final days

Such gems of dripping bliss

That before my soul with Him became whole

The heavens I had kissed.

I'd flown so free, I'd swam the sea

I'd let that mind explode,

I'd let the waves, shamelessly play

With my lashing, rolling boat.

My lashing, rolling boat of love

Of anger, joy and hate

I'd almost lived an ideal life

Before I met my fate.

Yes, almost lived an ideal life

For burns there a regret

My bitter brawl with my own son

Was something I couldn't forget.

A loving boy, holding a toy

Oh, had I ever imagined

This lovely, lovely relationship

Would meet an end so tragic?

A lonely spark, in the burning dark

And there raged a fire

He called me a useless, pathetic wreck

I called him a fucking liar.

A war ensued, and daggers flew

My temper grew ablaze

I asked him to leave, and leave he did

Slamming the door in my face.

The dust settled; my heart whittled

Down to a bottomless hole

My temper gone, the greyish dawn

Looked bleaker than before.

A tiny twig snaps in the wind

And pulls me out of trance

I feel the warmth on my bare chest

And picture the sunbeams dance.

And picture the sunbeams dance, oh sigh!

And set my heart alight

Maybe he would've come back to me

Or talked; if I had tried.

Then maybe my end wouldn't have been so,

Maybe I'm being punished

For a stranger will now light the wooden pyre-

Not the kind of death I wished.

A trembling hand touches my chest

And I fight every impulse

To defy the laws of dear Nature

And into ecstatic laughs burst.

And I feel the last wisp of sorrow

Dissipate into the sky

And the wooden logs become tender beds

On which my ruins lie.

For there is no mistaking that

Characteristic stutter

It is the hand, of my own lad

My lovely boy, no other.

My brave young man, he's left behind

The dusty veil of the past

My caring prince, my charming son

Has forgiven me at last.

He lifts the glowing torch in hand

Tears streaming down his eyes

I now realise the verbal fight

Was a blessing in disguise.

It tightened our bond of affection

Brought us closer together

It made our hearts a little stronger

Made us a little better.

As the sun mounts in the cloudless sky

And the time for the deed draws near

My eyes long for a fleeting glance

Of his face before I disappear.

But no; not so merciful is God

Or his presence shall be abused

And so without a final goodbye

All sense of being I lose.

The yellow flames slither up my feet

And onto my burning chest

A chest that housed a burning heart

That now was put to rest.

As my legs are reduced to ash

And half of my body's gone

I feel a stifled sob beside-

A tuneless, tragic song.

And I want to hug him there and then

For he, this day, has given me

The best gift a son can give his father

My dear son has forgiven me.

The pristine drops rolling down his cheeks

Have washed all rage and strife

Let him be blessed, I'm put to rest

Ahead of a blissful life.

I close my eyes in well-earned peace

As the flames snake up to the Sun

The last loose, dangling end is tied-

Let the pyre now burn.