I fear I'll fail

I fear I'll fall

I fear I'll faint

And lose it all.

I fear my mind

Will back out before

The war is done-

And do no more.

I pick up my pen

And try to stain

The pages with it-

But I'm filled with shame.

Shame at that story I wrote all those years ago

Shame at that dreadful speech in class four

Wait...did someone actually tell me it was dreadful?

Fuck everything. It was.

The blue waves wash the scorching sand

And I believe my life

To be like the ocean.

Tried to hold back the tears but I can't

My body's in shackles

Barring motion.

The world has turned into a hopeless dream

Fed up of the quiet, afraid to scream

And the blood is slowly ripping the seams-

I dunno how big a fool I have been

Blinded with tears, yet in the dark

Want to succeed, yet afraid to start

Life is a game, I'm just a pawn

Destined to write this tragic song.

Wanna be alone, yet mix with the crowd

So sure of my failure, so filled with doubts;

And all I need now is a pistol and a round

The screams in my head the shot shall drown.

Prepared thus to close, I raised my knife

Death came later; I was stabbed by life.