Submitted by @RosePaint

My eyes opened.

I didn't completely freak out just yet, of course, for the voice had been terribly faint, as though it had come from within my own head rather than some dark corner of my hotel room. Rather, I simply lifted my head a little and watched for any sudden movements, any shift of shadows. But nothing stirred, the only sound coming from the men beside me as they snored gently at alternating intervals.

"Silly," I mumbled.

Finally appeased, I turned on my side, using my arm as a pillow. In minutes I was fast asleep.

Suddenly the bed jostled, the shift rousing enough to throw me back into consciousness. When my lids pried apart this second time, however, I frowned. I found I lay facing toward the inside of the bed, where before nodding off I had my back toward my partners- but that was not what confused me. For my bedfellows had utterly disappeared, leaving seemingly only the silence itself to keep me company.

Before I even had a chance to turn on the lamp and look around, the disembodied voice spoke again, this time not quite so faintly, "Don't worry, Freddie, you're not alone."

For once in my life, those words were anything but reassuring. Groggy and deeply disturbed, I fumbled for the light switch, putting one hand on the hotel phone. The room lit up. Summoning up all my courage, I turned to face my intruder- and immediately relaxed. For where the handsome chap had lay, crouched a little cat with a long, twitching tail and short fur the color of tar. Right away it all made perfect sense.

Oh, thank God, I chuckled. This is a dream.

"Come here, darling," I cooed, wiggling my fingers as I reached for it. But the cat backed away from my hand, crept toward the edge and hopped right off. I sat upright and watched it slip around the corner, face still pulled into a wide, relieved grin.

But I did not smile long after that voice, clearer than ever, sighed softly and crooned, "What a truly magnificent view."

My blood chilled, while from the outside I desperately tried to will myself awake. Now I recognized that accent, now I knew that timbre. I despised them both- but only half as much as I did their owner. Unfortunately, my disgust for this person was neither enough to snap me back to the real world, nor kill my curiosity. Jaw clenched, slowly I turned my head toward where the voice had come from last.

And there, in the plush chair near the window, one bare foot casually resting on the edge of the coffee table while the heel of the other dug into the cushion beneath, lounged she, the bane of my existence.

"Hello," she murmured.

I did not answer; I was either too angry, or else too enthralled with her strange appearance, to speak just yet.

Now, I tell you, there was no question in my mind that the woman comfortably reclining across the room from me was in fact Julia Christine Samuels, though still a figment of my imagination. But my God, what a contrast to how I remembered her. Even from fifteen feet away, I could see a marked difference in her features; the curve of her mouth, her nose, even the slant of her large round eyes, had assumed a much more feline shape. But these did not startle me anywhere near as much as her hair, which was smooth, styled, and as silvery-white as the moon- a look made even more stark by the black turtleneck and tights she wore. Yet I could see no sagging muscles, no lines of age etched into her face.

"Sorry to barge in on you like this," Julia said, rising from the chair, "but there's never been much of a window of opportunity; you sort of have to grab the chance as soon as you see it."

Her voice sounded richer, maybe even a little raspy. In spite of myself, I liked it- but not even in my dreams would I give this witch the satisfaction of knowing as much. With cold eyes I watched her sit down on the edge of the bed, close enough to touch.

After a few seconds of mutual silent staring, Julia cocked her head. "What's wrong, Freddie?" she asked, her smile so sweet it sickened me. "Oh, wait, I know. It's the hair, isn't it? I'm still trying to get used to it myself; it's been a long time since I had bangs."

At last I found my voice. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, from the looks of it, I'm sitting on your bed, talking to you. I think that's a fairly acc-"

"Why? What do you want?"

"All in good time," she whispered. "Right now, just let me look at you."

Her hand seemed to glide toward mine; immediately I jerked away and faced the wall. But this dream version of Julia would not be rebuffed. In my peripheral I saw that same little hand reach up, and gently begin stroking my tousled hair. I shut my eyes, cursing my mind for betraying me, taunting me with the illusion of her touch, her voice, her presence. All the times I had sworn to myself that I would unflinchingly denounce this woman should she, God forbid, ever cross my path again- and yet even in my dreams I hadn't the bollocks to articulate how much I loathed the very ground she trod upon.

"I love the way you look when you first wake up," she mused quietly. "Bare shoulders, rough cheeks, squinting eyes... these soft Cupid curls... you're so beautiful, my prince."

I couldn't stand it. Her loving words were like torches, setting my flesh ablaze. With one hard shove I sent her toppling to the floor.

"How dare you come here and talk to me like that!" I roared.

Julia picked herself up again, totally unrattled. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help it, it's been so long since we could-"

"Get out!" I leapt out of bed, too livid to care that I still wasn't wearing any clothes. "Get out of here now!"

"Wait," she protested, "there's something I need to-"

"I don't fucking care. I don't want to hear anything you have to say. Now take your fucking cat and leave!"

"But-"

"Get OUT!"

She blinked, glanced at the floor, then sighed. "I should have known it was a mite too early. I'm sorry for busting in on you like this; I'll just be on my way now."

To my surprise, Julia sauntered toward the window and drew back the curtains, revealing the damn thing had apparently been open this whole time. She put one leg over the sill, and was just about to do the same with the other when I stopped her.

"Too early for what?" I asked.

She kept her face toward the window, the breeze blowing her hair behind her shoulders. "The reason I'm here."

"And what reason is that? Not that I particularly give a damn, I just- you clearly thought it was important enough to come to me about it, you must think it's a pretty big thing. It very likely isn't, but, um- it was still enough to bring you here, so what is it?"

After a beat, she pulled herself away from the ledge and planted her hands on her hips. "Well, since there's nothing you want to hear me say," Julia replied, "I suppose I would have to show it to you instead."

"Show me what?"

"What good would the showing do, if I were to tell you now what it is?" she quipped.

I rolled my eyes. "All right, you crafty minx. But make it quick- What?"

She shook her head with a giggle. "Nothing, just- minx."

"It's only a word, don't take it personally," I spat.

"I'm not, I simply have always liked the sound of it, is all-"

"Again, don't think anything of it. It's not meant to be taken as a compliment because to be honest, I think you look like a hag. Just show me what's so important and fuck off."

It was startling how much control I had over my tongue, considering I was dreaming. Not that I minded of course; the more unhappiness I could cause even a mere projection of her, the better. It was the least I could do.

The light in Julia's eyes dimmed a little, but somehow she kept the smile on. "With pleasure."

No sooner had the words left her lips than the walls of my hotel room crumbled. One glance downward revealed I was now properly clothed in a white jacket and trousers, but like Julia, still shoeless. But that's not what held my attention.

For we now stood together on a deck overlooking a vast, shimmering lake surrounded by snow-capped mountains. The only sound was that of the wind, joined occasionally by a chorus of swan calls in the distance. It was a lovely sight to see, of course, especially with how the sunset was reflecting off the water- but it was nothing I hadn't seen before. I had been in this very stance and had this same experience less than a year ago.

"Julia, this is the Duck House," I said coolly.

She sighed. "I know. Isn't it beautiful?"

"Is this what you wanted to show me?"

"No, I just wanted to stop here before we got to where we're g-"

"So you're stalling," I interrupted.

Julia's smile faltered, encouraging me to no end. "Freddie, I just wanted to-"

"No, stop. I don't give a fuck what you want, any more than you gave a fuck what I wanted. You said you had something to show me. So show me. Stop flirting with me, stop talking to me, stop fucking around and just show me whatever stupid thing you thought was so bloody necessary to share with me so that I don't have to look at you anymore."

Her eyes narrowed; I planted my feet into the deck slats, ready to descend into an all-out barrage of accusations, insults, and epithets cruel enough to reduce her to tears. But rather than return the attack, Julia simply swallowed hard and nodded.

"All right," she stated. "Have it your way."

With that Julia turned on her heel, stepped up, and walked around the divider, grabbing a bottle of something off the counter and reaching to open the cabinet closest to-

Wait a minute.

The Duck House was gone. Lake Geneva was gone. Montreux, as far as I could tell, had melted away to give rise to- this place. A place I had never seen before, whether in real life or in my imagination. Confused, I searched for a window through which I might get some kind of clue where we had ended up, but there were no such panes. Just a large, heavy door bolted into one wall, an archway on the other side that led into a dark corridor, and a huge, lit fireplace in the very center of the room, gave any hints toward a way out.

"What is this?" I asked.

No answer. So I asked again, this time directly addressing Julia, "Where are we?"

All she did was look at me, before turning up the volume on Dusty Springfield's "Son of a Preacher Man." I almost asked her a third time, a good deal more rudely, before I realized that this was just me getting what I wanted; over and over I had demanded she stop talking, so now she was refusing to speak.

Perfect; the less she says, the happier I'll be, anyway, I declared inwardly.

Since Julia would obviously be of no assistance, I decided to explore the world before me. The walls themselves seemed to be solid rock, except for a set of built-in bookshelves that took up one whole side of the room. Behind the divider, where Julia stood, I could see the edge of a stove top, implying that the half-hidden space served as a kitchen. All around the polished central fireplace, upholstered furniture of a modern yet tasteful design was positioned, reminiscent of the ski lodge from The Pink Panther. I took a step back, and nearly tripped over the swivel stool left carelessly half pushed in to the desk it complemented, which itself was nearly hidden by the papers strewn in thick, organized stacks all over its surface. Mildly interested, I picked one up, but I could neither read the writing there nor recognize the hand in which it was scrawled. With a shrug, I set it back down.

"Right," I sighed impatiently. "Are we through here?"

Julia just blinked.

"Look, it's a simple question, yes or n-"

That was when a high-pitched squeal fired from the hallway. I whirled around to see the corridor suddenly fill with bright yellow light, followed by a gurgling, childish laugh, the pitter-patter of small feet racing along a carpeted floor, and a wild shout of "Mommy!"

Before I had the chance to register all this information unceremoniously smacking me across the jaw, a little girl no older than five and no taller than my hip barrelled into the room, long dark ringlets falling messily around her face as she skidded to a stop in front of Julia.

"Mommy, come look!" the girl exclaimed breathlessly.

And to my utter amazement, Julia answered, as calmly as if this happened every night, "Sh, sweetie, you'll wake your sister."

My brows knit, my confusion mounting exponentially. Mommy? Sister? What the hell is-

"Nuh-uh, she already is up!" the girl cried. "Come see! She did it again!"

Julia's eyes widened. "She climbed out?"

"Uh-huh, you guys gotta put her back, cause she's too heavy for me and she can't sleep on the flo- see, I told you! There she is!"

The little girl pointed toward the hall- and sure enough, an even smaller child toddled into view. All I could see of this one just yet were the two fists rubbing sleepily at her eyes and the wide, dark gape of her mouth as she yawned. With a little long-suffering sigh, Julia hurried over and scooped the smaller girl up, smoothing her wispy brown curls.

"Lizzie, honey, you've got to stop climbing out of your crib once we've put you to bed, okay?" she told the child firmly. "You could fall and hurt yourself. You don't want that."

"Nuh-uh," the so-called Lizzie protested through another yawn. "Bu'm na' sleepy."

"I don't believe you," Julia quipped, before turning to the older girl. "Thanks for telling us, sweetie."

"Mm-hm. You're welcome."

Julia's brow arched slyly. "Now, would you mind telling me what you're doing up past your own bedtime?"

The girl shook her head. "I was in bed, really I was. I jus' got out 'cause Papa still didn't come sing me a lullaby yet."

"Ah, well, that's something you'd have to take up with him. Be right back." Julia hoisted the toddler further up her hip and disappeared into the hall.

Throughout this whole time, I only stood and stared. My tongue lay dead in my mouth, my head caught in a whirl of questions that I knew I would not be able to answer myself by the end of this. Only Julia could explain- and she wasn't currently speaking to me.

She's also not real, I reminded myself. None of this is. It doesn't matter if you're confused, that's what dreams are for. They don't make sense seventy-five percent of the time, even the lucid ones like this aren't supposed to be coherent. Stop making more of this than necessary. It's only a dream- a nightmare, really, considering Julia's a big sort of facet of it.

As I told myself these things, however, I found I couldn't quite coax up the same wrath as before- or the same sincerity. It just wasn't in me at the moment.

Something tugged at the bottom of my jacket. Looking down, I saw the older of the two girls pressed against the side of my leg, staring up at me with a big expectant grin.

"Coming?" she chirped.

I frowned. "Uh- to do what?"

The girl looked shocked. "Don't you know?"

"I'm sorry, but- no."

She put a hand on her hip and rolled her big dark eyes, before hollering at the hall, "Mommy, why's Papa acting so funny?"

My heart skipped a beat. Conclusions to which I had stubbornly refused to jump suddenly came crashing down over me. Wait. Wait. Hold on. She- she can't really be talking about- I can't be- I know it's just a dream, but my God-

"Oh, he's just playing a game," Julia called back. "He's pretending he's a stranger, so you'll have to remind him of some stuff as though that's what he is."

"Ohhhh," the girl nodded. To me she said, "Okay, well- come on, Papa, let's go."

"Go- where?" I managed.

"To my room, silly!" she giggled, taking my hand and pulling me into the corridor. "You always sing me a song before I go to sleep. Remember? Oh, yeah, you're playing. Well- that's what you do. Okay? Okay."

She led me past the room where Julia was laying Lizzie down again. A part of me wished to linger there longer, sort of watch her tell the little one good night a second time, but my escort wanted her lullaby now. She didn't let go of my hand until we reached her bedroom. I don't remember what it looked like in there, I don't believe I was paying attention anyway. Too stuck was I on the fact that she was calling me "Papa" - and that Julia had not corrected her.

"Ready!" the girl declared, clambering into bed. What could I do but play along.

"Right, then," I clapped my hands together. "So- what song do-"

"First sit down, Papa, right here," she patted the duvet. So like a good chap, I sat down, unable to help my smile; she was a very pretty little girl, after all, with eyes just the same shape as her moth-

"As I was saying, um," I coughed, jolting my train of thought off its track, "what song did you want me to sing you?"

The little girl thought it over. "Ummmm- the Rainbow Song."

"Nice choice, let me see if I can remember the words." I shut my eyes, thought it over, then, very softly, I began, "Some-where o-"

"No, no, no, not that one!" she cried. "The other one!"

My face felt a little warm; never before had I been so unabashedly shut down by a child. "What- what other one?"

"The other rainbow song. There's two."

"Well- I'm afraid I only know the one, my dear."

"You do too know it, this is just you playing again." With a little huff, she sat up a little straighter and called, "Mommy, can you- I mean, may you please come in here?"

Almost immediately, Julia materialized in the doorway. "What's wrong, sweetie?"

"Papa says he doesn't know the rainbow song," the girl said.

I pretended to look violently cheated. "Aren't you a snitch."

"Which one?" Julia asked her daughter.

"The good one."

"Oh, yes." She laughed very lightly, tucking a stray white lock behind her ear. "Yeah, he wouldn't know that one."

"But he used to. He's sung it before."

"I think that's because I've sung it to you first, and then he learned it second-hand."

"Oh," she nodded. "Would you sing it to me then, Mommy?"

Julia cast a sidelong glance at me. "Isn't there some other song you'd like that he could sing?"

"But I want that one. Please?" She clasped her hands together. "Pleeeease?"

Personally, I was rather intrigued myself. I didn't want to be, I tell you, but that doesn't change the fact that I too wanted to hear this "other" rainbow song, one which was somehow better than Judy Garland's signature piece.

But Julia shook her head. "Maybe tomorrow, sweetheart; the last thing this guy wants to hear right now is me singing, so why don't you pick a song that he can-"

"Julia, please just sing it," I requested quietly. "The girl wants you to... and so do I."

With both me and the girl staring her down, Julia simply had no choice but to buckle. "All right, I'll sing it; move over a little, please."

This is just like that time she sang that Disaster song for me, I noted as she sat down on the other side and pulled the covers up around the little girl's chin. Silently I prayed that this little concert would not have the same effect on me as the last one. For I still despised Julia with all my body and soul; I could not afford to let some stupid little song she sang for her nonexistent daughter melt my feelings even slightly.

"Ready?" Julia asked.

The girl burrowed further under the covers, wiggling with excitement. "Ready."

Taking a deep breath, Julia patted a three-quarter time rhythm against her thigh, and began to sing a song that I indeed could not remember hearing ever in all my nearly thirty-three years.

Why are there so many songs about rainbows,
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told, and some choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong, wait and see;
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection-
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it-
Look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing,
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection-
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

All of us under its spell,
We know that it's probably magic...

The key changed here, wherein the little girl and Julia smiled at one another. As for me, I didn't move. I could only watch the scene unfolding before me, unwittingly falling under a magic spell of my own.

Have you been half asleep, and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it;
It's something that I'm supposed to be.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection-
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Julia finished out the song with a series of "la da dees", using a more humorous voice and making her daughter giggle with delight. Looking much more relaxed now, Julia kissed the little girl's forehead, whispered "Good night", and rose from the bed. A bit awkwardly I tried to stand up to go as well, but I was stopped.

"Papa?" the girl asked quizzically, reaching her delicate hands out to me. "No kiss?"

There was no way in the world that I could get out of that one, and not upset the child. Against my better judgment, I leaned in close. Before my lips could so much as pucker, she threw her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek with a big "mm-wah".

I returned the caress, albeit without the sound effects. "Sweet dreams, darling," I whispered.

"Mm-hm," she nodded. "Love you, Papa."

My dream's perspective seemed to fog up somewhat when the girl said that, while the most peculiar, dull ache of a sort I had not known in a very long time began prodding at my heart. I didn't like this feeling, but there was nothing at present I could do to remedy it, except leave the room. So I stood, about to follow Julia out when I looked around and saw she had already gone. All of a sudden, it was now quite crucial that I speak with her alone.

"Where did she go?" I asked aloud. On a whim I stepped out and peered into the dark, vacant bedroom across the hall.

And the girl, ever the little helper, called out, "Mommy's not in there, that's Big Brother's room."

"Oh," I chuckled nervously. "Thanks."

I searched the place from top to bottom, but found no trace anywhere of "Mommy." The one time thus far that I really wished to see her face, it would not appear. Despite still being fully aware that this was all in my head, I felt myself grow worried- till finally it occurred to me to check behind the heavy door in the main room. I got it open without too much trouble, and stepped over the threshold into a heavily fallen night.

The transformation caught me so unprepared I almost believed I had awakened. But the very next second, in which I saw black clouds masking the enormous full moon hanging overhead, convinced me otherwise. The mountains were back, their majestic shapes ominous and evil in the dark. The grasses between my toes did little to cushion the hard, rocky earth as I went along in blind search of her.

Did Julia abandon me again? I wondered. She certainly has a knack for cutting and running, why wouldn't she do it in my imagination, too?

At last, I caught sight of her silhouette at the top of the hill. Immediately I broke into a run, moving as fast as possible while there was still moon enough to light my path.

When I finally caught up to Julia, she didn't so much as turn to greet me. Her eyes followed the clouds as they rolled in, her arms folded tightly across her chest. For a few moments, I didn't say a word, and just studied her profile. God, how strange she looked with that hair, so frosty white that it practically glowed, framing her young, soft face.

"Julia, what is this?" I murmured at last. "What is this you have shown me tonight?"

Silence.

"Answer me."

She hesitated, then shook her head.

"Why?" I demanded.

Julia gaped at me in disbelief, rolled her eyes, then faced the stars again.

Realizing what she meant, I drew a heavy sigh. "Look, forget- forget what I said before, all right, and just tell me. I really need to know."

She turned to me again, her expression void of sarcasm. With great effort, then, I swallowed my pride and murmured begrudgingly, "Please."

Julia's lips pursed. At first I thought that was a sign of defeat; I held my breath. But the seconds ticked by, and she remained mute. She simply refused to answer.

That was the last straw. My blood boiled. How dare she. How dare this revolting little c--- deny me this way. No one denies me. No one crosses me, certainly not some inconstant bug-eyed Yank what can barely string three words together anyway.

"Fine, you little tart," I snarled. "Don't talk. Don't say a single fucking word."

As if in obedience to me, she said nothing- which only made me angrier. "My God. What did you bring me here for? What the fuck was the point? Who asked you to come down and throw all this shit in my lap and then not even explain why- no word, no reason, no fucking explanation, and then Pow! You're just gone and I'm the one left to clean up the mess!

"But then, that's just what you do," I hissed. "Isn't it, Julia?"

Her eyes closed.

"Open your fucking eyes and look at me."

She did as I commanded.

"That's how you operate, isn't it, my dear instrument of torture," I rambled, nearly cross-eyed with rage. "That's your preferred method of destruction. You come round when I least expect you, you play the innocent, I lower my defenses, and then you show me heaven, bring it just within my reach- and then right when I believe it's mine for the taking, you rip it away from me while my heart lies bleeding on the ground. Because you know, don't you? You know as well as I do that love, full love with all the trimmings, shall never be mine, that's why you taunt me with it! Isn't that right, you goddamn sadi-"

Julia laid a shivering hand against my lips, hushing me.

By all rights I should have back-handed her. And I might have, more than likely, if anyone else at any other time had been so bold. But all I did was stare, narrow-eyed, at the woman, who stood so close to me now that even in the weakening light I could see her pupils contracting.

Hand still cupping my mouth, she leaned in, shut her eyes, and brushed the tip of her nose against mine. My heart fluttered.

Fucking get away from me, Julia, I warned her silently, hands balling into fists. Get away now or I swear I will-

Whatever threat I was in the process of concocting shriveled seconds later, when those tender fingertips slid back and forth along the curve of my jaw. From far, far away a voice screamed at my dream self, fully aware that she was ensnaring me yet again. But her touch had made me senseless to all else. God, it sickened me to know how weak I really was; how demoralizing to think, that after nearly two whole years, I could be rendered totally incapacitated by a figment of my imagination. But it didn't seem to matter. My arms moved to encircle her, draw her body tightly against mine-

"Freddie!" A different, much louder voice pierced my eardrum. "Wach auf, du Idiot!"

It occurred to me abruptly that I was no longer standing on a hill with Julia. I was lying on my chest grappling with a wriggling body, who was demanding in irate German accents that I get off his ass and let him fucking breathe.

So I did.

He didn't ask for an apology, and I didn't give him one. Wordlessly we settled back down again, kissed, and cuddled up under the blankets until we joined our third and most soundly sleeping friend, in a deeper, and much more peaceful, sleep.

I had already forgotten most of the dream by the time I drifted off again. I knew it involved Julia, though. Lots of my dreams did. Some stayed with me better than others; this latest, it seemed, fell under the latter category. I liked those the best. The less I recalled, the better my focus-and therefore, the better my work.

For what good would remembering a dream have done me? It was all a fabrication, all a trick of my mind- and as for the real thing, she had left me. Without warning. Without explanation. After swearing to stay forever, she literally left me for dead. There was no fucking reason why anyone would pine for someone who had so heartlessly abandoned him, let alone keep that ridiculous ring stashed away in his bedroom nightstand back home "just in case". It had been years, after all. Two of them. By now certainly I should have made some progress in letting her go.

Someday I'll break it, I assured myself wearily, the rainbow connection-

My brow furrowed. Odd, that I had mentally sung that line. It wasn't a tune I recognized right away- but it wasn't one of mine, either. Where had that come from?

Then suddenly I remembered. John had been singing it under his breath ever since he took the kids to see that Muppet film a few weeks back. Some song about songs about rainbows.

How many songs about rainbows are there anyway? I mused, lids drooping steadily as sleep overtook me once again. There's "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"... and that's it- no, Que Sera Sera talks about rainbows too, but that's not the point of the song... it's sort of incidental... so that's still just one... hmm...

Oh, who fucking cares.