For those who don't follow me on Tumblr this is Lilly in Bleach, story coming relatively soon. :) Artwork by Cantrona. 

"Me: I would like your most ethereal item that opens a portal to the fae realm.

Clerk: this is a Bed Bath and Beyond.

Me: grant me access to the Beyond aisle."

-Faeriesfang

Beta: SolarCupid(☞ ᐛ )☞

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Sadly.

Warning: Lilly.

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Haku gently blew on his tea. "What a delicious picnic, Sakura-sensei."

"Thank you kindly, m'dear," I chirped. "Now that we all have food in our bellies, mind telling us what Kirigakure wants?"

"We were here to officially invite the Hokage to a Kage Summit in the Land of Iron," Haku explained. "The Raikage is demanding a union to deal with the Akatsuki threat. Apparently Kumogakure has lost two jinchuriki to them now."

'I figured Yugito would die before I could intervene, but I didn't think they'd attack Bee. How exactly did that go down without Sasuke's group? It certainly couldn't have been Kisame. Pein and Konan are attacking Konoha now, and there's no way Bee would have been able to slip by Obito. Unless he didn't slip by Obito and my interference caused the death of a fan favorite?'

Ooo.

I did not want to think about that. For now I will hope for the best and follow the path as if Bee had successfully escaped his attacker(s).

"Yeah," I said slowly, somehow keeping my face deadpan. "Those Akatsuki are a real threat."

"Hey!" Deidara protested upon hearing my sarcasm.

"It would be best if we united against any force that has successfully kidnapped jinchūriki," Haku pointed out.

"That makes sense," I allowed. "Konoha is currently being attacked by two Akatsuki members."

"What?" Anko gasped. "We have to go back—"

I dismissed her with a wave of my hand. "Tsunade-sama and I have been preparing for this for years. It's completely under control. Besides, there's a reason I was sent out here. I can't go back until the sun has set."

Haku tapped his chin thoughtfully. "What if Konoha is destroyed? If you had nowhere else to go, Kirigakure would welcome you."

"Awww," I cooed. "So sweet! But that's not an issue. Konoha's buildings will definitely need to get remade, but only a dozen or so lives should be lost. We've had this planned out for a while, and unless they resurrected Madara-sama himself, we'll be fine."

"Who the fuck is Madara?" Hidan asked with a frown.

I gasped at that blasphemy. "How dare you not know the hottest warmonger to have ever lived! Fortunately for you, I keep a sketchbook on me at all times, and it just so happens to have plenty of sketches of Madara-sama."

True to my word, I pulled out my nearly filled up red sketch book and flipped toward the first drawing of Madara before handing it over to Hidan. Hidan squinted at it, unimpressed. "He's not that hot."

"How dare you?! That's like saying Kisame-sama is ugly!"

"He is—"

With a battle cry, I launched myself Hidan, dead set on defending the honor of my idols by any means necessary.

"Ahhh! GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF! STOP BITING ME YOU STUPID BITCH—"

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

As I sat on top of a hog tied Hidan, I took another dainty sip from the lavender black tea (otherwise known as earl grey) I had brought. "The day's still young. Would anyone care to join me in fishing? I just so happen to have some live bait."

Hidan made a strangled cry of outrage of that through his gag (I improvised and used my socks to make it).

"Fishing sounds nice and relaxing," Anko said with a wicked grin. "There's a lake up ahead."

"Konoha really is fine?" Kiki asked, a touch worried.

"Naruto's got it covered," I dismissed.

"Therapy-no-jutsu?" Haku inquired.

"Therapy-no-jutsu." I confirmed with a decisive nod.

And with that, we went to go fishing.

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

"So darlings, shall I take a guess at the second reason y'all are here?" I asked, casting out my fishing line and admiring the pretty lake view.

At Haku's encouraging nod, I grinned.

"Y'all want me to set up my bakery in Kirigakure."

Zabuza snorted at that, and Kiki actually looked impressed.

"Nearly perfect, Sakura-sensei," Haku praised. "Mei-sama understands that you would be reluctant to move out of Konohagakure, and so I proposed that I would study under you and then set up a bakery in Kirigakure."

"Ooo. Heck yeah," I cheered. "Konoha's currently getting a makeover, so I'll be building my bakery from scratch. It should be good to go after the war, so you can start your apprenticeship whenever. You don't mind dressing up, do you?"

"Nope," Haku confirmed.

"EXCELLENT," I finished it off with my best Gai impression.

Zabuza lazily cast out his own fishing line. "Will Konoha be able to move out to the summit on time? It's in a week."

"Yeah, I'll go with Tsunade and... pro-o-o-o-bably Kakashi," I said, drawing out probably as I considered who she would bring. I was an obvious choice, especially since Shizune would do an excellent job as administrator of the rebuild preparation. Kakashi was a public figure, and is known as one of Konoha's strongest shinobi. It would be important to show a display of strength.

Jiraiya would have been another option, but his arsenal was perfect for defending the village in case of another attack, whereas Kakashi was better suited for one-on-one battles or bodyguarding.

Plus, Tsunade thrived on making Kakashi uncomfortable, and who better to do that than I?

Plus, plus, there'd be another chance to make fun of Kakashi's obvious boy crush on Obito.

That was simply too good of an opportunity to be passed up, and I was certain Tsunade would agree with me.

'Gosh. Almost done with all the Shippuden arcs. We're in the war arc now, which means...'

A wicked grin stretched over my face.

'Madara-sama is coming!'

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Once the night hit, it was time to head back to Konoha. It came as no surprise that everyone was already throwing a massive Hooray we're alive party planned by Tsunade to raise morale after being attacked and... ya know... having the whole village destroyed.

Itachi and I headed off to tell Tsunade about the summit, while Anko dragged Hidan over to the T&I party.

Tsunade was found in a closed off tent, enjoying the baked goods and teas I had already prepared and stored in one of Naruto's storage scrolls. Sitting across from her was an exhausted Nagato, a stoic Konan, and an elated Jiraiya. Naruto was sprawled out on the floor, cake on his chest that he picked off bits and pieces of with his fingers to eat, and Sasuke was brood—oh, actually he was just chilling in the corner, not brooding at all. Weird.

"Hey, cool, the party's here," I cheered, then winked at Konan and Nagato. "What fine specimens you two are. Rawr."

To their credit, neither reacted to my flirtations.

"Nagato, Konan, this is my adopted mother, Sakura," Naruto introduced, waving his hand in between us. "Sakura, you already know your future harem members."

"How do you do?" I greeted with all the charm and enthusiasm I could muster. "I take it you've already been filled in?"

"We are prepared to believe in Naruto's version of peace," Nagato solemnly stated. "We also understand that the man we knew as Madara is not truly Madara, but is, in fact, Obito Uchiha."

I took a seat beside Tsunade, and Itachi sat next to me—which drew an inscrutable look from Nagato and Konan. I said, "Good. We ran into some Kirigakure shinobi outside, and they've invited us to Kumo's summit in the Land of Iron."

"You have some scary good accuracy," Tsunade observed, drinking more tea.

"Goggle Gods be praised," Jiraiya said with a slow nod.

I beamed at that. "Yes, indeed... yes, indeed."

"This summit... what will happen?" Nagato questioned, his gaze narrowed as he assessed me.

"Obito will declare war to draw out the remaining bijū," I explained. "He's been preparing a massive army using advanced Zetsu clones. Kabuto—the bastard—will team up with him and resurrect some powerful allies... including Madara-sama."

Tsunade and Jiraiya did a spit take.

"Don't worry. I can take care of Madara-sama," I said confidently. "As soon as he appears on the field, I'll head out. That being said, the rest of the villages will need to reunite to fend off the Zetsu clones and reanimated shinobi."

"We'll need a task force to take care of Kabuto and stop the reanimation," Jiraiya said carefully, still bewildered by the revelation that the great Madara-sama would be gracing us with his presence soon.

"I've got that taken care of, too," I said, resisting the urge to look at my captured Akatsuki members.

"Oh no," Sasori moaned, somehow sensing where this was leading. "I am not helping you!"

"Shut up, yeah," Deidara hissed. "She'll free us if we say we will."

"That woman can sense a lie," Kakuzu disagreed. "She's 90% bullshit, so she knows when it's being used against her. Instead, ask what do we get for helping her?"

"I won't help for anything less than a cake every month for the rest of my life, yeah," Deidara said, perfectly serious.

"You would whore yourself out for cake?" Sasori demanded, aghast with the notion.

"It's not just ordinary cake, yeah!" Deidara defended. "You're just mad because you'll get a taste of it—"

This incited a rather heated debate that was rather distracting to listen to and fill Nagato and Konan in on my stupendously epic Final Plan™.

But I am fabulous, so I succeeded.

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

The week following Nagato's hissy fit was simultaneously dull and busy. Danzo and ROOT were taken care of—except for a few unmanned bases we would clean up after the war—, and there were no active threats against Konoha for now. We spent the entire week rapidly rebuilding Konoha—Naruto showed off his thousands upon thousands of clones which warranted him a lot of praise—and preparing for war.

The actual war would happen a month after the summit, giving Naruto plenty of time to get buddy buddy with our tsundere fluffy boy.

Hopefully enough time for Obito to start Road to Ninja too. So not fair that Miwako was the only one of us to get to go there! I wanted a perfect illusionary world to frolic in!

Anyway, the reconstruction of Konoha occupied just about all of my time. I went ahead and started construction on my bakery—name yet to be decided—and negotiated with the Akatsuki about what they wanted in return for killing Kabuto.

Deidara wanted food, which was easy.

Kakuzu wanted a share in my bakery profits and the right to call in for my apparently potentially very profitable services without fuss.

Sasori tried to negotiate having me give Hashirama or Madara's corpse to him to use as a puppet, but that simply wasn't going to happen. In the end he got unlimited access to Doku creating poison, and I had to give him some of my recipes.

At the end of the week, Tsunade, Kakashi (woot-woot!), and I headed off to the summit.

What a fun time that turned out to be!

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

I followed right beside Tsunade as she lead Kakashi and I through the halls of the massive samurai fortress. The Land of Iron was a pretty place, all snow and black mountains, but the fortress was the definition of edgy and look how intimidating we are ooooo. It was poorly lit, mostly black and grey, and friggin cold. I had to keep circulating my chakra throughout my body to keep warm. Those poor samurai stuck here only had the clothes on their backs to do that.

I did try to use that chance to cuddle up to Kakashi, but he effortlessly stepped on my foot hard enough to make me hobble behind him.

Feisty boy.

Finally, we entered the meeting room. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust since the meeting room was so much brighter than the morbid halls behind us. There was a large oak semicircle desk with banners behind each seat. Each banner held a single kanji of each of the Elemental Nations—Fire, Wind, Water, etc. In front of each banner was a seat and in the seats were some of the Kage.

There was a small desk that sat in front of the semicircle and at that desk was Mifune, who had two of his bodyguards displaying. To Mifune's direct right was the Raikage, Ay. I couldn't see his bodyguards, as they were hidden behind the banner in the dark, but I knew they were there. To Mifune's direct left was the Mizukage, Mei. Next to her, there was an open seat, and then the Kazekage, Gaara, sat in the middle seat. Then there was yet another empty seat in between Gaara and Ay.

I couldn't see Temari and Kankurō very well, but I knew they could see me. Not that it mattered, I already had my target locked on.

"Gaara-kun!" I squealed, drawing everyone's attention towards me. "And Mei-chan!"

I did a little spasm dance as I struggled which of the two cuties to hug first. Since Gaara was closer, I rushed over and went to hug him first. I kissed the top of his head as he patted my back, and then I sprinted over and tackled into Mei, who accepted my embrace with grace and beauty.

"Sakura," Tsunade admonished with amusement tinting her voice. "Were you really unable to control yourself?"

"Sorry!" I said, obviously not meaning it at all.

"No, you're not," Kakuzu grumbled.

I smiled cheekily and looked around, reluctantly letting go of Mei. "Sorry for that, um, interruption, everyone. I just couldn't help myself. When you see these two cuties, how can you resist?"

"I'm sure they don't mind," Mei dismissed, all smiles and sparkling eyes. "Haku told me the wonderful news."

"Oh, yes, I'll be excited to make sure Kirigakure has their own bakery so lovelies like yourself can be pampered," I purred at her, winking for good measure.

Gaara politely cleared his throat.

"And Sunagakure," I added. "You just send a couple of your chosen cutie patooties and I'll take care of 'em."

Gaara accepted this greatly important task with a nod.

(I would later learn that during the month to prepare for war, Gaara would hold a cooking tournament and the winner would earn the right to apprentice under me. It was the single greatest spectacle ever held. Friendships destroyed. Tea spilled. Tears shed. All the while a stoic red haired panda boy sat upon his throne and watched the chaos unfold as he eats my famous opera cake. Amazing.)

Tsunade strode across the room, taking a seat in between Gaara and Ay. Kakashi casually followed right behind her before ducking behind the banner and to her left.

Taking the hint, I ducked behind the banner, catching Temari's eye and we exchanged a less than subtle, but still pretty quiet, high five before I moved to where I was supposed to be.

When I moved to my place, Ōnoki entered the room followed by his two bodyguards. He eyed the room with a very calculating eye before he took his seat.

"I am Mifune, our moderator," Mifune said once everyone was seated. "The Five Kage Summit Conference is now called into order."

Almost instantly, the room lost it's relaxing feel to it—okay it was only relaxing and nonchalant to me but still—and the air became thick with tension.

'I wish I had popcorn.'

As if sensing my thoughts, Kakashi flicked the back of my ear and gave me a look that conveyed: Behave.

Ooo, if that wasn't a challenge, I don't know what was!

"I shall speak first. Hear me," Gaara said, his voice kept neutral and his eyes kept flat.

"There's such a difference in Kage these days," Ōnoki sneered like the grouchy old fart he was. If I didn't know he was such a teddy bear grandpa I might've been offended on behalf of my dear Gaara! "To be a Kage at your age is quite an accomplishment, Kazekage. It seems your father trained you extremely well, except in the area of proper etiquette."

"You're probably right," Gaara said coolly. "It is the reason why I can be here as Kazekage."

Ōnoki gave a laugh that held no merit to it. "You certainly are cocky."

"Tsuchikage-dono, there's no need to make fun of him," Mei said smoothly, with only a hint of a scolding tone in her voice. "Continue, Kazekage-dono. "

"I am a former jinchūriki," Gaara said. "I was captured by the Akatsuki, and they nearly succeeded in capturing my bijū and almost killed me. I consider the Akatsuki extremely dangerous. I sought out the cooperation of the other five Kage many times, but was ignored by all, except the Hokage. At a time when various lands have had their jinchūriki stolen, the response by this group has been far too slow."

Ōnoki scoffed. "How can the Hidden Villages of the Five Great Nations serve as an example when they allow their jinchūriki to be taken? It's an embarrassment! It is common sense to resolve this in utmost secrecy. Seeking the help of other lands just because of that is nonsense!"

"Says the old fart that lost two already," I coughed.

I didn't even see the pen flying at me. Tsunade's retribution for my snide remark was swift and painful. Hit me square in the nose hard enough for it to break.

"Save face... Prestige... Such old-fashioned beliefs," Gaara droned.

"Old-fashioned beliefs aside, I will acknowledge that as the Mizukage, I have delayed action. However, having our bijū stolen is no cause for immediate fear. Controlling a bijū requires skill, knowledge and time," Mei logically pointed out.

"The jinchūriki and the bijū must mature together and adapt to each other," Ōnoki agreed. "And still, controlling the bijū is difficult. It is not a simple task. Isn't that so, Kazekage-dono?"

He definitely couldn't, I signed to Temari, Kakashi, and Kankurō. That caused a grin to form from my Suna buddies.

Kakashi signed back: Don't make me handcuff and gag you again.

Stinker, I retorted.

Tsunade drummed her fingers against the desk. "The only people who were capable of controlling the bijū were Uchiha Madara, Senju Hashirama, the Fourth Mizukage Yagura, and Killer Bee. But that does not mean—"

Tensing at the sudden wave of killer intent, I gripped my kunai at the same time Kakashi did.

"Enough of this!" Ay roared, slamming his fist into the desk, practically destroying his part of it.

His burst of malicious intent caused all the bodyguards to leap out from behind the banners. I did so with a twirl and flair, flipping my hair back and winking at Mei and Gaara.

Mifune gave a sigh. "This is a place of discussion. Please refrain from disruptive actions."

"Come on back, Sakura, Kakashi." Tsunade mildly called out.

"You too, Kankurō, Temari," Gaara said.

"Aō, Chojuro. I'm fine," Mei said.

Ōnoki only inclined his head.

Ay gave something akin to a pout and glare—how can someone that bad ass looking pout?—before pulling his fist out of the desk and sitting back down.

The bodyguards quickly fell back into position.

"You know, I was really hoping you'd kill that old fart, yeah," Deidara grumbled.

"She would have if he threatened her dear Kisame-sama," Sasori snarked like the sassy pants he was.

"He would have a high bounty on his head," Kakuzu mused. "I wouldn't mind helping her. Split it thirty-seventy my way..."

"I'd do it for free if he was after Kisame-sama," I muttered quietly.

"A hundred my way works too," Kakuzu went on without missing a beat.

"Let us continue our discussion," Mifune said, as Kakashi politely gave me a final warning to behave. "Konoha, Iwa, Suna, Kiri, rogue shinobi from your villages make up the Akatsuki. And that is not all, from our investigations we know that among you, including your previous Kage, there are those who used the Akatsuki!"

Immediately, Tsunade tensed and my Akatsuki members innocently glanced around. Deidara even whistled.

"Used them?" Gaara inquired, shock registering on his face.

"I do not trust you," Ay growled. "I had no intention of even discussing this with you. But the reason I convened this summit is to question your loyalty!"

"What do you mean, used the Akatsuki?" Gaara asked.

"You are the Kazekage, yet you have not been informed?" Ay demanded. "Ask the elders back home! You used the Akatsuki in the past war!"

"The Great Nations are heading towards uniform stability," Ōnoki said. "They are moving from military expansion to military disarmament. As fear and the threat of war diminishes between the nations, Hidden Villages—which are the source of its military strength—become costly hindrances. And yet carelessly downsizing the villages poses a risk. What if war suddenly breaks out? It would be a problem to depend on shinobi who have no experience in war. It would mean certain defeat!"

"And one way to reduce that risk is mercenary soldiers," Gaara said flatly. "Namely, the Akatsuki?"

"It takes effort and money to train skilled shinobi from your own village," Ōnoki droned. "But the Akatsuki, which makes war its livelihood, is made up of experienced professionals. Furthermore, they can be hired for cheap. Best of all, they return exceptional results."

"Get serious, Tsuchikage!" Ay snarled. Ōnoki scoffed, but Ay continued on. "Suna used the Akatsuki to destroy Konoha. I'm speaking of Orochimaru. It is not clear if he had broken away from the Akatsuki or not. But as a result the Fourth Kazekage and the Third Hokage died. And frankly, it's hard not to rule out the idea that this was someone's scheme."

Ay's eyes moved over to Tsunade. Her eyes narrowed.

"For your sake, I hope you're not implying I killed my own sensei for this damned spot," Tsunade growled.

Ay only sneered in response.

Tsunade gave a small frown, the scowl on her face never wavering. Her tone was laced with condescension as she drawled out, "I assure you, we have taken care of our problem. Do not concern yourself with it... Raikage."

Ay's eyes narrowed before swinging towards Mei. "The most suspicious is Kirigakure. You, Kiri, do not conduct diplomacy. There are even rumors that the Akatsuki originated there!"

Mei's eyes trailed down sadly, her expression a mixture between solemn and melancholy. "Since we have come this far I will speak honestly. There were suspicions that someone was manipulating Yagura, our Fourth Mizukage. And there was a possibility that it was the Akatsuki. No one wanted this to get blown out of proportion."

"Each and every one of you—"

"Hold your tongue, Raikage," Ōnoki snapped. "Ultimately, it is all because your village disregarded the disarmament efforts and sought out powerful ninjutsu. We had no choice but to counter by hiring the Akatsuki!"

"What?!" Ay snarled, standing up.

"Before we argue too much, as I was saying before I was interrupted so long ago," Tsunade said. "I have good reason to believe the true leader of the Akatsuki is someone who goes by the name of Uchiha Madara."

Obviously this was a big fat, juicy lie, but we needed the villages to unite against the Akatsuki. Tsunade agreed with me that Obito wasn't enough of a scary boy to do that, and so...

Cue the frozen faces of shock and fear. And many, many eye rolls from the Akatsuki members behind me who knew the truth.

"Are you sure?" Mei tentatively asked Tsunade.

"Hasn't he been dead for several decades?" Gaara inquired, frowning minutely.

"He is right. He died a long time ago," Ōnoki said, but even I could see the slight unease and hesitation in him.

"Uchiha Madara commanded the bijū, many decades ago," Tsunade bluffed like the experienced gambler she is. "If he is the leader of the Akatsuki, we have reason to worry now. Furthermore, I have not yet been made aware of all the details yet, but I do know enough to be concerned."

"Are you saying he's immortal?" Ay demanded.

Tsunade remained silent, her expression devoid of emotion.

"To think..." Ōnoki trailed off for a moment. "He really was a monster."

Ay slumped in his chair.

After a pregnant pause of silence, Mifune cleared his throat. "I wish to speak on behalf of the neutral nations. The leader of the Akatsuki was able to read the times well. Despite stabilization, nations have had private suspicions, and the Akatsuki took advantage of that weakness to amass its power."

"What are you trying to say?!" Ay roared.

"Calm down," Mifune placated him. "Turn calamity into good fortune. It is extremely rare for all five Kage to assemble. What do you say? Until the Akatsuki is eliminated, why not establish the world's first Allied Shinobi Forces of the Five Hidden Villages?"

"An allied force?" Ay echoed.

Tsunade tilted her head. "We are in a state of urgency, I see no reason to go against such a plan."

"Going forward, we have to determine the chain of command," Mifune said. "We must avoid any further confusion."

"So? Who will we choose to lead the allied forces?" Ōnoki asked, a sly smile spreading across his face.

"Leaving that to you five will only result in arguments," Mifune said thinly. "So I ask that you respect the position of neutral nations and allow me to come up with a proposal to decide who among you five Kage is most suitable."

Tsunade cleared her throat. "Before you begin, I ask that Ay answer a question from one of my Jōnin."

I smiled happily and jumped down to sit on the desk beside Tsunade. "Thanks Hokage-sama! I won't be long."

Ay's glowered at me.

"It's just a quick question about Killer Bee-sama. When he fought the Akatsuki, did he lose a tentacle?"

Ay's eyes flickered wide for a moment before narrowing into slits. "And what if he did?"

"Ah, so he did," I concluded, sighing with relief. "Oh, okay then. He's alive, by the way."

Ay's eyes widened. "What?!"

"He used the fight as a diversion to escape," I told him. "He's currently talking to some rap master in the forest surrounding this very mountain. The Akatsuki probably figured out by now that he had fooled them, so they're probably going to send Kisame after him and whatnot."

"Are you certain?" Ay demanded.

"Positive," I assured him. "Doesn't it sound like him, anyway?"

Ay frowned and shook his head, his face twisting into a furious scowl. "Yes. It does."

I smiled. "Glad I could be of assistance then. If you want, I would be more than happy to take you straight to him after this meeting, with Hokage-sama's permission of course."

"You already have it," Tsunade said.

I nodded. "I know. But it's nice to double check and stuff."

Raikage eyed me another moment before returning his gaze to Mifune.

"Then... as I was saying," Mifune said. "The leader—"

The ground erupted in the center of the room and I lazily looked at it as White Zetsu wiggled his way up, smiling insanely.

"Hello!"

Immediately all the bodyguards—minus myself—jumped out from their spots and readied themselves in a defensive position.

"Now what?!" Ay raged.

"Zetsu," I greeted. "What the gosh darn dilly dally heck are you doing here? I am so surprised and was absolutely not expecting you."

"My, my, what is everyone doing here?" Zetsu crowed. "I hope I'm not interrupting—"

Before the blink of an eye, Ay had a single strong hand wrapped tightly around Zetsu's throat. "What the hell are you doing here, trash?!"

Zetsu only smiled as Ay tightened his hold. "If you don't answer me, I won't show any mercy!"

Zetsu only laughed, and Ay glared down at him furiously before snapping his neck.

"You didn't have to kill him," Mei sighed. "We could have taken and tortured him into revealing intel about the Akatsuki."

"No one in the Akatsuki talks. They are extremely loyal," Gaara remarked.

"I don't know... money talks," Kakuzu disagreed.

"Greedy fart, yeah," Deidara muttered.

"Hmm," I mused. "If Zetsu showed up, does that mean someone else will show up too?"

"Only time will tell," Mei said. "Do we wait here or do we search?"

"Let them come to us," Tsunade said. "If we fight together, it would increase our chances."

Ay snorted but sat back down.

I pulled out a deck of cards and turned to Tsunade, Gaara, Temari and Kankurō. "Wanna play?"

Tsunade frowned thoughtfully. "Sakura, this is a very serious meeting. You cannot simply..." She paused. "Ah, what the hell? Sure."

"I wouldn't mind joining," Temari said with a shrug.

Gaara shook his head.

I looked over to Mei and her bodyguards. "Wanna join?"

"Sakura-chan, you really shouldn't be starting up a card game in the middle of a summit," Mei scolded me half-heartedly.

"I brought cookies and muffins," I shamelessly bribed.

Mei coughed. "I suppose a couple rounds would be necessary to ease the tensions."

"This is an acceptable course of action," Gaara agreed, nodding wisely.

"Although I gotta say, Mei-chan, I'm surprised you didn't bring your beloved Zabuza," I teased.

"Hah!" Mei scoffed. "Zabuza is nowhere near my beloved—"

"Haku already told me he caught you doing the horizontal tango," I interrupted her.

"Damn him," Mei cursed.

"Cookie?"

"You're lucky you're a cute baker," Mei accepted the cookie and the cards.

I smiled happily.

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

"What have we here?"

All of us paused in the middle of our game, glancing up from our cards to stare as Obito ever so slowly materialized before us.

"Hey, handsome!" I exclaimed happily

Obito glanced at me, his single visible eye locking with mine. I winked and blew him a kiss. Despite my nonchalant manner, the rest of my fellow shinobi and kunoichi were tense as all heck. Obito appeared before us, looking completely at ease yet very smug. It was incredibly awesome. Then he spoke in that even more awesome voice that I finally get to hear aside from my dreams.

Well. I didn't call him smexy voice for nothing.

"My name is Uchiha Madara," Obito said, perfectly mimicking Madara's voice. He then went on to say, "I have something I want to explain to you all, and once you comprehend it, I want to pose a question."

"What is it?" Ay demanded.

"It's about my plan... Moon's Eye Plan."

Ay lunged forward, his entire body alight with blue electricity before his fist slammed where Obito should have been. Unsurprisingly, he went right through Obito and crashed into the wall behind him. Obito stood perfectly still, completely unchanged.

"Nothing planned by the Akatsuki is going to be good," Ay declared. "Who knows what you're up to?"

"All I ask is that you listen to my explanation," Obito insisted.

"Calm down, Raikage-dono," Ōnoki said. "Let's hear him out and take it from there."

Ay gave a grunt.

"Hi, sweetie," I chirped.

Obito glanced at me. "I don't have the rainbow stick."

"I love you even without it."

Obito continued to stare at me another moment, debating on what to do. "You're very hard to contact alone."

"I know," I said. "For some reason my friends don't want me to be kidnapped, though."

"I wouldn't kidnap you," Obito purred. "I just want to talk."

I gazed up at him longingly. "You're making it very hard to stay loyal to Kisame-sama when you use that voice."

Obito chuckled and I struggled desperately not to gush about it. Or squeal. Damn it, I was reverting back to my original Obito/Madara fan girl self. I couldn't cheat on Kisame like that! Even though I don't think he particularly cared one or another (though I'd like to think that he did) it was the principal!

Or maybe it was just Mia and Naasica acting up.

'Be chill, ladies!'

"Stop that," I scolded.

Obito only tilted his head in a curious manner before he leapt back, jumping up to the high balcony and then promptly sitting down. But, of course, he sat down like a badass, not just regularly sitting down.

Heaven forbid Obito did anything regularly.

"Now then, are you all ready to listen?" Obito asked, deciding to move back to his original topic. "Originally I was planning on using Sasuke or Itachi to weaken or defeat you all to make you my hostages but that seems unlikely now. Pity."

"Pity indeed," I murmured, sighing again. Man, I wanted to get kidnapped by him.

"Take us hostage? For what purpose?" Mei demanded, scowling.

"To smoothly implement the aforementioned Moon's Eye Plan."

"It's quite shocking to learn that Uchiha Madara is still alive, but why would a man of your skill resort to such a roundabout method?" Ōnoki asked. "Surely you have the strength to bring any plans into fruition."

"The injuries I sustained during my battle with the First Hokage Hashirama were too severe," Obito lied smoothly. "I have no strength in me now. You could say I am merely a shell of my old self."

"Is this a plan to restore yourself?" Temari asked.

"Hmm," Obito hummed thoughtfully. "You could say that. But that's not all."

"What are you scheming?!" Mifune demanded. "Just what is the Moon's Eye Plan?!"

Obito cocked his head and held up a single, slender finger. He paused. "All shall become one with me and result in a complete possession form that unites all."

"Become one? Unite all? What do you mean?" Ōnoki asked.

I could practically see Obito's smirk. "The Uchiha have an ancient stone tablet that has been passed down through generations. It exists underground in Konoha. Upon it are written secrets, engraved by the Sage of Six Paths himself. It cannot be read unless you possess ocular powers. With the Sharingan, Mangekyō Sharingan and Rinnegan, in that order, the contests become increasingly visible."

"You're story is unlikely. The Sage of Six Paths doesn't—"

"It's the truth," Obito interrupted Ōnoki. "He did exist and he left the stone tablet."

"Don't change the subject," Ay snarled. "What does your plan have to do with the Sage of Six Paths?!"

"Do you know why he became a legendary and a godlike figure that is revered as a god of shinobi? There lies the link between my plan and this man."

"Uchiha Madara... you possess the Mangekyō Sharingan and among the Akatsuki there was one who possessed the Rinnegan. You know everything already, don't you?" Mei asked. "We're listening."

"He once saved the world from a certain monster," Obito said. "Gaara, you also have one part of that monster sealed inside of you. That monster was the combination of every bijū in existence. Something that possessed the most powerful chakra. The Jūbi."

"Aren't there only nine bijū?" Temari asked.

"I just told you," Obito replied. "It was the combination of all the bijū. Ichibi, Nibi, Sanbi, Yonbi, Gobi, Rokubi, Nanbi, Hachibi, Kyūbi. The Jūbi's chakra was simply divided up into the nine bijū by the Sage of Six Paths."

"I don't like where this story is headed," Kankurō muttered. "Is that why the Akatsuki are gathering bijū?"

"The Sage of Six Paths developed a certain ninjutsu in order to protect the world from the Jūbi. Even today that ninjutsu is still being secretly passed down. It is the Sealing Jutsu process for jinchūriki. Yes, the Sage of Six Paths was the Jūbi's jinchūriki. In order to suppress it, he sealed the Jūbi within his body. The Sage, who saved a world terrorized by the Jūbi became a savior and won praise as a god. But if the Sage died, the powerful and demonic chakra of the Jūbi would once again be released unto the world. Fearing this, at the time of his death, the Sage of Six Paths summoned every last ounce of his power to partition the Jūbi's chakra into nine parts and he scattered them across the world."

Obito cocked his head. "Then he sealed the Jūbi's body, now devoid of chakra, and hurled it into the sky. And it became the moon."

"What a tall tale. As if a human could do such a thing."

"When he became jinchūriki of the Jūbi, the Sage of Six Paths went beyond the realm of humans."

"I understand now that you seek that inhuman power," Mifune said. "by gathering the chakra of the nine, namely all, of the bijū. But what will you do with all that power?"

"Revive the Jūbi," Obito said. "And I will become the Jūbi's jinchūriki. I will then use its power to strengthen my ocular powers and activate a certain jutsu."

"What jutsu?" Tsunade narrowed her eyes.

"A super genjutsu where I project my eyes off the moon," Obito answered. "The Infinite Tsukuyomi. I will cast a genjutsu on every human that walks the earth. And in that genjutsu, I will control all humans and thus unify the world. A world without hatred or war. Everything will become one with me, everything will be united. That is the Moon's Eye Plan."

"Stop joking around! I'm not handing the world over to you!" Ay snarled at him.

"Peace that exists only as an illusion is deception," Gaara said. "Peace is only meaningful when it is genuinely achieved in the real world."

"Like hell I'd let this pass," Tsunade firmly stated.

"What would exist in such a world? There is no hope, no dreams! It's just an escape," Mei said.

"Unite the world, huh? But instead of sounding like you truly want such a thing, it only sounds like you want to make the world yours," Ōnoki refuted.

Obito chuckled. "All this talk and yet what have you Five Kage accomplished? You of all people should know by now... there is no such thing as hope! To hope is the equivalent to giving up, and it's the biggest deception of all. Turn over the remaining Ichibi, Hachibi, and Kyūbi and cooperate with my plan. Or there will be war."

"War, you say?" Gaara asked.

"So what?" Ay glanced at me, "What Sakura said was earlier was true. He... escaped." Ay paused for a moment before pure fury lit in his eyes. "That idiot! He used that chance to slip away and now he's actually having the time of his life! Unforgivable! He's going to my Iron Claw!"

"We will not hand any jinchūriki," Gaara stated firmly.

"I agree with him," Mei said.

"It goes without saying what I agree with," Tsunade stated.

"There's no way I'll let him have my younger brother," Ay growled.

"I don't have the strength, but the bijū we've gathered so far do. You people have no chance of winning."

"We haven't given up hope," Gaara said.

"Very well. I hereby declare the start of the Fourth Great Shinobi War," Obito conceded.

"Fourth Great Shinobi War?" Ōnoki asked incredulously. "Are you mad?"

"The next time we meet will be on the battlefield, for most of you anyway. See you soon, Sa-ku-ra," Obito purred, standing up. At the end of his sentence, he dematerialized and was soon out of sight.

When he was gone, Ōnoki dipped his head. "What do we do now?"

I grinned at that. If that wasn't a blatant taunt that he was gonna kidnap me, I didn't know what was! Heck yeah!

'Rainbow Stick Story, you will be mine!'

"We have to form an Allied Shinobi Force," Gaara said. "It's the only way we can counter the power of seven bijū."

"Let's form this alliance and settle this once and for all," Ay agreed.

"We cannot allow our last three remaining bijū to fall into his hands," Mei added on. "I think it is imperative that our Allied Shinobi Forces find the Kyūbi and Hachibi jinchūriki first and then place them into hiding."

It went without saying that they couldn't put a kage into hiding during war. He would be needed to lead his village, regardless of the fact that he was a target.

"However we cannot even imagine the power Madara wields with the seven he already has," Ōnoki said. "Furthermore, he may possess a certain jutsu or a trump card for using the bijū. Otherwise he wouldn't have come on so strong. Perhaps it would be wise for the Allied Shinobi Forces to plan on using the Hachibi and Kyūbi as military weapons too."

"Absolutely not," Tsunade stated at the same time Gaara said, "That cannot happen."

They exchanged a glance, and Tsunade dipped her head as encouragement for Gaara to continue. "This is also a war to protect those two. There is a reason why Madara is waging war with just seven bijū he has collected thus far. It is too difficult for Madara in his weakened state to capture the Hachibi and Kyūbi, with or without the rest of the Akatsuki. Even if they had succeeded, he felt the risk was too great. That is why he may be hoping to lure the two to his side through the war. In any case, using the Hachibi and Kyūbi for battle is not a wise strategy."

"I agree," Tsuande said.

"As do I," Mei followed.

"I also concur with the Kazekage," Ay chimed in. "If we consider the worst-case scenario, it will be like offering the Hachibi or the Kyūbi on silver platters. And besides, the Hachibi is my younger brother and 'military strength' is a foreign concept to him. I can't predict what he'd do. He may just create more chaos on the battlefield!"

Tsunade snorted.

"Naruto would do the same," Gaara said.

"That's for sure," Kankurō agreed.

"I'll say," Temari chuckled.

"I understand. Well then, Tsuchikage, our aim will be to protect and confine the Hachibi and Kyūbi," Mei said.

"Well then. Sakura, was it?"

I smiled. "Yep?"

"You said you know where Killer Bee is?" Ay asked.

"I do!" I chirped. "He's learning from this sensei about... rapping or something. Want me to show you now?"

Ay nodded his head, and I saluted. "Then let's go, boss-o!"

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

I will be publishing my entire original story for free on wattpad over the course of a few months. The chapters will be uploaded weekly every Saturday, and I would so, so, SO appreciate any support that can be given for this.

It can be found on my wattpad account, the story is called Dawn of the Rose.

Answer: Definitely depends on mood. Jun's Kitchen / Philip DeFranco / Snake Discovery / Young Yea / Dollightful / Markiplier / EVERYTHING Pokemon and WoW related (ugh I want Pokemon Shield to be here already gimme those cute babies) / etc

Question: If you were a flavor, what kind of flavor would you be? What kind of meal would you be? None of you are allowed to say nasty. You're all delicious. ;)

Extra question: What should Lilly name her cafe? Waiters and bakers will be forced to wear a variety of different outfits, and the primary food shall be baked goodies and homegrown tea.