"I hope one day aliens read our ancient text and how we exploded the Samsung Galaxy."

-Anonymous

Hope this will ease some of your stress. It's okay to feel stressed at times, but don't let it consume you, my friends.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Naruto stepped into my kitchen and I looked up from cutting a slice of the cake I had made to greet him with a smile. My teammate hadn't bothered to knock on the front door, simply using the key I had given him to hop on inside (a habit I encouraged 'cause Goggle Gods knew I would never ever knock on the front door of my friends now that I knew how to jimmy a lock).

Naruto grinned back at me. "Hey pretty lady. Whatchya make?"

"Opera cake," I answered, giving a slice to Gedo and Doku before cutting off another piece.

"What's an opera?"

"Something that doesn't exist in this world and may never."

"Then why does it have a cake?"

I paused. "Because it exists in the Goggle God's heaven."

Naruto nodded his head, accepting my bullshit as fact. He pulled out a plate for himself, and I put a nice slice of the chocolatey goodness onto it. Naruto grabbed a glass from the top cabinet before filling it up with milk, then he took a seat at the table and dug in.

I cut off another slice and put it at Brightheart's seat at the table (because dogs apparently could eat chocolate in this world and who was I to deny chocolate to my darling angel?). The puppy sniffed at it delicately before nibbling on it, her short tail wagging.

Brightheart's fur had mostly grown over her previously bald patches. Her right side of her face was still unfortunately maimed enough that no hair would grow back, and a chunk of her right shoulder blade was the same, but everywhere else had fluffy puppy fur.

Mindful of her injuries and sensitive skin due to said injuries, I gave her a bath about once a week to provide treatment. The result was a happy puppy who no longer chewed on her itchy skin, but threw bigger and bigger temper tantrums when I dragged her into the bathroom.

Puppy did not like baths.

~Thanks you for the treat, Sakura-hime,~ Gedo murmured in my head, nearly finished with her slice already.

I kissed my index finger then lightly brushed the top of her head. The blue salamander leaned into my touch, closing her eyes in a show of affection (not unlike a cat). Doku, meanwhile, merely gave a harrumph in my head while shoveling his cake.

Naruto took a long swig of milk. "This is really good. Who taught you to make this?"

'Father when he was on a sane day,' I thought fondly. "A crazy man. It was quite an adventure. Involves a padded room on fire."

"Huh," Naruto responded, tilting his head a childishly cute way. "Care to share?"

"Maybe on a drunk night," I answered. "You won't believe me otherwise."

"I have yet to come across any reason not to believe you," Naruto rebutted.

I grinned wickedly. "Has your sanity fled you, little sunrise? No more whispers of logic to guide you away from the Dark Side?"

"I'm fully corrupted," Naruto said confidently.

"Then I shall grant you the right to worship the Goggle Gods alongside me if you pass a test."

Naruto gave a crooked smile, a glint in his eyes. "What kind of test?"

"Make Kurama-sama smile."

Naruto blinked. "Who?"

I reached over and patted his cheek, then kissed the top of his head in fond affection before leaving the kitchen to grab a book I had purchased. It required forfeiting booty-grabs for a month, but it would hopefully be worth it.

Fūinjutsu I.

There were three written texts on fūinjutsu that was allowed to be purchased in any hidden village. It was agreed upon all that such books would be restricted to Jōnin in purchasing, simply due to how dangerous it was to teach fūinjutsu to children. While there was no law against it, it was highly discouraged.

Learning fūinjutsu required numerous things that very few people could obtain.

1. Excellent calligraphy skills

2. Outrageous chakra capacity

3. Patience

4. Creativity

5. A certain level of genius

6. An honest to Goggle God's natural talent for it (rarer than a blue moon to find outside of the Uzumaki Clan)

Expecting most of those traits to be found in someone under the rank of Jōnin was unheard of (especially the chakra capacity), and given the extremely large fatality rate of people who have tried to learn fūinjutsu—

Well.

Returning to the point: there was no law against teaching a Genin fūinjutsu, but it was highly discouraged by all villages. It made no sense at all to risk their precious cannon fodder on something that likely wouldn't work out.

I handed the book to Naruto and he scrunched up his face.

"Finish this book," I told him. "It will be your first step to making him smile. In addition, if you finish this book: I will tell you who has a crush on you."

That got the boy to straighten his back. "What? Really?"

"I swear on my love for Kakashi-sensei and Kisame-sama," I swore.

Naruto's eyes widened. "Oh, wow. Do you—Do you really think I can read this, though? It looks pretty hard."

I cupped both of his cheeks. "My dear, you are going to be Hokage one day. Becoming a master in fūinjutsu will assist you in this dream, and the Goggle Gods told me that if you can become a master: you will achieve true greatness unlike any have ever seen."

"Really?"

"You have my word, darling. I know you can do it. Besides, the Uzumaki Clan is renowned for their fūinjutsu skills. It's in your very blood to do this, my sunrise."

Naruto beamed, his cheeks flushed. "Okay! I'll do it."

"Good. Now take a slice of cake to Hina-chan for me, dear."

"Okey dokey!"

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Once Naruto left, I headed to the hospital to do rounds with Shizune. Since we had returned from the Land of Snow—about two weeks ago now—our team had been delegated to training or easy missions morning side, then free time for the rest of the day. There had even been a couple of days that had been entirely left up to us.

The reason for rather slow couple of weeks was because Kakashi had been frequently called out to go on S-Rank missions. The first few only took a couple of days, but the last one (the one he was currently on) he estimated would take a solid week.

So he told us to make sure we kept up on our training, and I wasn't able to do it often, but when I had the free time I headed over to the hospital. The entire experience gave me an odd sense of nostalgia (which was weird because I knew I hadn't trained at the hospital before), but overall was a pleasant experience. The staff became acquainted with me and I was allowed to supervise all surgeries with Shizune, which was inordinately useful.

Shizune was a pleased pickle to have me as her temporary slave around the hospital, forcing me to do a vast majority of paperwork and recite illnesses/treatments she would quiz me on. She even let me suture patients on good days, or diagnose them under her supervision.

We talked a lot about poisons, too. After I introduced her to my two summons—and explained what they did—Shizune was keenly interested in having them create new poisons she wanted to test out, as well antidotes. In the process, I got to learn a lot more recipes (which I dutifully took notes on).

Despite having two excellent summons who could create the poisons / antidotes for me, I still decided to keep up with my garden and practice brewing on my own. It was a good skill to have, and I felt like the better I understood the process, the better off I would be.

The two of us were currently in her office. I was updating a few charts after we had performed successful surgeries on the patients.

A sharp beeping sound filled the office and Shizune let out a groan of annoyance. I gave her a sympathetic smile. "I can take care of it so you can finish your paperwork."

"Oh, would you? Thank you," Shizune said, handing me her beeper. "Take care of my patients for bit when you're done. I need to get caught up."

I saluted. "Consider it done, Senpai!"

Shizune smiled warmly at me, taking another dainty sip from her green tea. "Thank you, Sakura-chan."

The first time I called Shizune senpai instead of sensei she insisted I called her sensei until Tsunade accepted me as her apprentice, but I declined citing that she was far too young to be a sensei. That got me a cute giggle and head pat, and I finally got to call someone senpai and have it be accepted.

With a skip in my step I made my way towards the front desk.

'Wonder what would warrant an urgent beeper? Maybe someone needs to get amputated!'I thought with glee. That would be fun. Not for them, obviously, but fun for any surgeon. I never quite got Grey's Anatomy with their obsession with surgeries, but there was quite the rush when suturing someone while their life hang in the balance. Since death didn't scare me risking my life no longer provided the pleasant rush.

Saving someone's life, though?

Nothing compares.

Quite selfish of me, I knew, but it wasn't like it hurt anyone for me to sincerely enjoy my job. I loved being a doctor-in-training!

If the whole kunoichi thing didn't work out, I was A-Okay with being the sexy doctor who was almost always in surgeries.

I approached the front counter and was surprised to find none other than Anko there. She didn't look banged up or injured, so I didn't understand why the receptionist paged for Shizune as an emergency.

Anko noticed me right away and leered. "Hey, cutie."

I winked and sauntered up to her. "My venomous goddess, however may I assist you today?"

"Mn," Anko purred, "a little boy wanted to act like a man, but couldn't handle it." Anko gestured to the catatonic man on the floor that was seizing. "Think you could fix him up so the big baddie in the hat doesn't bother me?"

"I would be delighted to," I told her, honestly excited to try and create an antidote all by myself. Then, realizing that quite a few patients and staff members were warily watching Anko and me, I reached out and took her hand. I brought it up to my lips and conjured my best teasing voice.

"Anko-sama," I murmured to her, whispering against the back palm of her hand, "if you come back to my place after work I'll show you the pleasure of an Opera delight."

"How could I say no to that?" she purred, her eyes dancing with mirth.

We both smiled privately to each other as we felt the horrified and disgusted looks the surrounding staff and patients gave us.

Making people uncomfortable was always fun.

The man below Anko gave a groan.

Ah, right. Time to play with my new patient!

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Kakashi's current mission had him out of the village for at least a week. It was absolutely heartbreaking to be without The Booty for so long, but I persevered for both our sakes. I even went by his apartment (since I now knew where he lived) and left a sticky note on his door each day he was gone that read: I missed you today.

I even had Naruto sign it with me, and Sasuke signed a few with successful food-bribes.

I had caught a few glances from the ANBU passing by in the hallway when I left the notes. My beaming smile in return made them scurry away quick enough, though.

Our team still met up every morning, however, in spite of Kakashi's unfortunate absence. I made breakfast every morning, and Sasuke and Naruto came over to eat with me. The three of us would enjoy the meal before we headed out to the training grounds. We didn't particularly train together (except for the rare free-for-all spar that was not fun for me since poisons were banned), but rather beside one another. I exercised my chakra control and change of nature, while Sasuke worked on perfecting the Chidori, and Naruto tried to get his Rasengan down with only one hand (there were massive amounts of shadow clones covering the field). A couple hours before noon we would either end the group training for the day, or grab a D-rank mission and then end it.

That gave me a chance to work at the hospital, and Sasuke could only take socializing so much in a day (even if we didn't really talk with one another) before he got grumpy and needed to "recharge". I wasn't entirely certain what Naruto did every day, as sometimes he followed me home to have lunch before disappearing, and other times he left the training grounds in quite the hurry.

Regardless, my days ticked my in relative peace despite Kakashi's cruel abandoning.

Hinata approached our training ground fairly early the day after Anko's visit to the hospital. She looked a little dirty—likely only returned from a mission an hour or so ago and hadn't gone home to change, yet—but no less beautiful. Her shoulders were set straight, and there was a spark of determination in her eyes that made me smile.

I paused in my training, letting the pathetic dirt wall I had formed crumble in front of me. I hopped over the dirt and skipped over to Hinata, raising my arms in an obvious invitation to embrace. Hinata's beaming grin lit up the entire field as she eagerly returned my hug, even squeezing me.

"Hi, Hina-chan, what're ya doin' here?" I asked her, pulling back enough to properly talk with her, although I kept my arms still around her.

Hinata's grin softened into a smile. "Tsunade-sama is requesting your team; she has a mission for you."

"Another stupid D?" Naruto muttered, heading over towards us with his hands shoved in his pocket.

Hinata shook her head. "I think C."

"We get to leave the village?" I asked, excited. "Does that mean Kakashi-sensei has come back?"

Hinata gave a small shrug.

"We should go, then," Sasuke said.

"Duh! I miss my—I mean I miss Kakashi-sensei," I exclaimed. "Thanks, Hina-chan."

I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, which made Naruto squawk in surprise so of course I kissed him on the cheek, and so Sasuke didn't feel left out I tried to do the same to him.

He kneed me in the gut in a way that reminded of me Kakashi.

"We need to you get some Kakashi-sensei and soon," Sasuke muttered with disgust, dragging me to the mission desk while I tried to regain my breath from his brutal shut down.

I wheezed. "I miss him so much."

"We know," Naruto told me sympathetically.

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

In the Land of Tea, every four years, the families held a race in dedication to the Todoroki Shrine as part of a ceremonial ritual.

Team Seven was given the B-Rank mission of escorting the runner throughout the race. Tsunade gave us the order to reach our client by the end of the day, or else face her wrath.

Needless to say we were out of Konoha within ten minutes (I had Naruto send a clone to Hanabi that Brightheart would need attention while I was away). Our team traveled at a decent pace, not enough to break a sweat, but certainly making good time.

Come noon Naruto's stomach let out the first growl with mine following soon afterwards. Thankfully our team was near a tea shop so we decided to enjoy a pleasant meal before running the rest of the way to our destination. We took a seat at a table and the waitress brought each of us strong-smelling black tea.

I noticed immediately that our soon-to-be client was seated at the far back table and seemed to be glaring at us.

'Morino Idate. Disgraced younger brother to Ibiki. Hates all shinobi and kunoichi. Loyal to the family that "adopted" him.

'Backstory: Failed the Chūnin Exams, was forced to remain a Genin forever. Depressed, he fell to Aoi's trickery (almost exactly like Naruto and Mizuki) and was forced to flee the village. Ibiki went to rescue him, along with two ANBU, but Aoi had signed an agreement with Amegakure and Ame sent their own ANBU team to secure Aoi and the stolen Konoha treasures. Ibiki was tortured, building caught on fire and Idate had to flee the burning building in order to survive.

'Idate believed his brother died in the fire, along with Aoi. Wandered the streets as a homeless kid for a while before Jirōchō (who was paying us for the mission) picked him up and "adopted" him, so to speak.'

"Welcome," she greeted us with a practiced smile. "What can I get for you?"

"Sweet bean soup," Naruto answered first, grabbing his tea and taking a big gulp.

"Dumplings would be nice," I told her.

"Takayoki."

The waitress gave a shallow bow before leaving and Naruto leaned onto the table and placed both his head in his hands. "Been awhile since we've had another escort mission, huh? Think it'll be another secret princess?"

"No," I answered for him. "We're going to get a whiny brat."

Both boys grimaced.

Like a puppet at play perfectly in tune with his unknown script, Idate approached our table. In a loud, arrogant voice he said, "Having sweet bean soup when it's so nice outside, shinobi sure are carefree. Things must really be peaceful for Konoha to send out such dense-looking guys."

With a growl Naruto stood up and slapped his hand on the table. "What the hell is your problem?"

Completely ignoring Naruto, Idate looked down at me. "Hey, I didn't know there was such a cutie here. I take back that previous comment. I'm Morino Idate, what's your name little lady?"

I smiled at our client. "First, I'm a boy, but thank you for the compliment."

Sasuke buried his face in his hands and Naruto looked away to hide his shit-eating grin. Idate was thoroughly surprised.

"Second, you're the younger brother to Morino Ibiki, yes? I'm sure he'll be quite happy to know where you are."

Idate's face paled. "What? My brother is alive?"

"And head of T&I," I responded. "Please allow me to introduce my teammates: Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, and I am Haruno, ah, Ku. Haruno Ku."

Idate still looked absolutely thunderstruck that his brother was alive. He actually stumbled back. I motioned for Sasuke to scoot over and the avenger complied. I made room on the bench for Idate to sit with us, and I patted the seat next to mine.

"We are actually going to be your guards," I told him. "The old man hired us to protect you, and I'm sure Ibiki would want us to do an excellent job on his behalf."

Idate dumbly took a seat beside me. "I can't believe he's alive. All these years I thought I—I thought I failed him."

"What happened?" Naruto asked, decidedly less hostile now knowing I was pulling a fantastic prank on our client.

"He was tricked by a traitor named Aoi," I answered on his behalf, knowing Idate likely wouldn't be willing to share such information. Then I turned towards our client and gave him the most reassuring smile I could muster. "Your brother doesn't blame you for what happened. Aoi was Chūnin of Konoha, and you had no reason not to trust him. That being said he does blame you for not letting him know you're alive and well after all these years."

"I had no idea he was alive," Idate confessed quietly. "I thought—I thought—"

"I know," I told him sympathetically, patting his shoulder. "The Goggle Gods wanted me to grant you this relief: perhaps you were not meant to be a shinobi, but that does not mean you weren't meant to be a good man. In doing so, I'm sure Ibiki would be proud of you."

Idate stared at me for a while longer, then buried his face in his hands. "You know everything, then?"
"Yes," I responded. "Aoi, the man who tricked you, was hired by the other family you're going to race against. Aoi brought along help, and they want to kill you, Idate. My team won't let that happen, of course."

Idate's brow furrowed. "How can you say that? He's a Jōnin."

"Only in rank. Skill level he's barely a Chūnin," I dismissed airily. "We've faced actual Jōnin before and won."

"Yeah, don't worry, Idate," Naruto said confidently. "Sa—I mean Ku's really strong, and so am I. The bastard over there is okay."

"I can kick your ass," Sasuke informed Naruto.

"I know you can try," Naruto stressed.

The waitress brought over our food and I offered a dumpling to Idate. Idate took it quietly, chewing on it thoughtfully. "Can you tell me about my brother?"

"Of course."

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

After enjoying an amicable lunch the four of us walked to Jirōchō's estate, since he was the one who technically hired us. We were let in and we all met with the middle-aged man. Jirōchō greeted us with friendly smiles. "Hello, Konoha shinobi. I'm glad you have already been acquainted with Idate."

"We're to escort him throughout the race, yes?" I inquired.

Jirōchō nodded. "Yes. I'm afraid our enemies, the Wagarashi, would wish to play dirty. Keep him safe for me, please."

"We will, don't worry," Naruto reassured him. "We've never failed a mission."

"I have faith," Jirōchō responded confidently. "The race is tomorrow morning, so please make yourselves at home until, then."

"Thank you."

Come morning the entire village gathered at the bay to watch the race start. Idate began his stretches and he muttered, "Keep Aoi off my back and we'll be golden."

"He won't survive long," I promised him, deciding not to mention that I was beyond stoked to have another chance to test Krait's Kiss on someone. Anko also gave me a recipe that would make people simultaneous retch and shit their parents until they threw up actual bits of their stomach and shat out their intestines. While that seemed interesting to watch, I thought it would be best reserved for emergency or for someone I really hated. Or as an incentive to get someone to talk, since the poison lasted about seven hours before it reached a fatal stage. Sure would hurt, though!
Naruto and Sasuke were equally decked out with poisons and sedatives I made last night. I gave them strong antidotes Gedo recommended using when facing Amegakure shinobi, and each had them at the ready for when we inevitably faced them.

And as the sun barely rose over the top of the horizon the announcer signalled for the race to start. Idate took off in a burst of speed before veering harshly to the left. The three of us followed behind him.

Deciding it would be best to play it safe so I could keep up with him, I released the seal on my weight-wristbands and ankle-bands. The immediate relief followed soon afterwards gave me a significant burst to my speed. After all, each weight had gathered up to fifty pounds (23 kg), so I felt two hundred pounds (90 kg) lighter.

Could I take a moment to appreciate the absurdity of those weights?

Because no way a normal thirteen year old would be able to lift that much, yet I was able to do so in my everyday life. Sure, it was a constant strain on my muscles and when I took it off to sleep my muscles cried in relief, but still. That was some crazy weight.

To be fair, though, I had also been consistently regulating chakra throughout my body in order to keep up with that. Without chakra I would have been down to maybe twenty pounds (9 kg) in each appendage, but I had depressingly small reserves so Kakashi recommended that I slowly increased the weight and channel chakra throughout my muscles to simultaneously increase my reserves and how much I carried.

There were some days I couldn't do that (such as long shifts at the hospital), but for the most part I tried my best to keep up with what he recommended.

Still blew my mind.

I easily kept up with Idate, though, not even needing to use bursts of chakra at the bottom of my feet to give me boosts. The first time I felt the genjutsu fall over us, I immediately released before tapping my hand on his shoulder and giving him a burst of chakra to release it on him, too.

I called back to Sasuke, "Make sure Naruto's out of it, too."

Sasuke gave a sigh before slapping Naruto on the back of the head.

We continued on our way without an issue, and within fifteen minutes Idate reached his goal point and hopped onto a boat to begin sailing across the bay. We got on it with him, and I climbed up to the post. "As soon as I see the enemy, two of us should hop over to their boat and take care of them. Who wants to volunteer?"

"Whoever is left will have to deal with Aoi," Sasuke said.

"Yep."

"Any of us could hold him off, I think," Naruto said, "but we should probably have whoever goes over to the enemy boat be strong enough to take them out quickly so we can regroup."

Sasuke nodded shortly. "I agree. I'll go over."

"Naruto should go with you, then. I'll deal with Aoi," I responded, then hopped off the post and approached Idate. I pulled out a glass bottle with sludge purple liquid. "I need you to drink this. It's the antidote to my poison. When I see Aoi, I'm going to throw down as many poison bombs as I can, and it'll be impossible for you not to breathe them in. Don't worry, the antidote won't harm you."

Idate took it gingerly before uncapping it and gulping it down. "Urk. Tastes like piss."

Naruto and Sasuke both took their own antidotes. Naruto grimaced. "I always thought it had a more monkey butt taste."

"Rotten eggs," Sasuke admitted.

"Life without Kakashi," I answered loyally.

"You're such a fangirl," Naruto teased.

"I'm Kisame-sama's fangirl," I corrected him. "I am merely Kakashi-sensei's Butt Advocate. It demands to be treasured like the precious gift from the heavens it is."

"Right. That's nothing at all like a fangirl," Sasuke snarked.

"I'm Kisame-sama's fangirl," I insisted.

"Kisame-sama or Kakashi-sensei. Who would you choose?" Naruto asked.

"I refuse to ponder such a cruel question."

"Kisame's a missing-nin, that shouldn't even warrant pondering!"

"But he's Kisame-sama," I exclaimed, as if that explained everything. To me, it did. "You haven't even met him, yet."

"Um. I thought you said you were a boy," Idate pointed out.

"My sexual identity is fluid," I dismissed.

Idate didn't really know what to say to that.

"I see the boat," Sasuke said, and low and behold there was a boat trailing behind us. Without another word Sasuke leapt over the railings and ran on top of the water towards the boat. Naruto followed soon afterwards and I waved goodbye to them for the moment.

Idate and I continued sailing in relative peace and quiet for another half an hour before we spotted the land up ahead. Idate gave me a grin. "We're nearly there."

"Making good time, too," I commented, noticing the gathering storm clouds. In the anime Idate and Team 7 were frequently side tracked and caught unprepared. The genjutsu in the beginning cost them an hour, and the attack from the Amegakure team cost them another two hours. The enemy runner barely made it to the shore a little before Idate, so that meant they were at the very least over an hour behind us.

Aoi likely didn't leave his client to try and get ahead, misbelieving we would be successfully delayed and he would be able to get ahead. As it were, our team would reach the shrine first.

Idate reached the shore, and docked the boat. "Your teammates gonna be okay?"

"Don't worry about them. Let's get you to the shrine first," I told him.

Idate nodded firmly. "Okay, try to keep up."

"I won't let you out of my sight," I promised.

Idate took off in a sprint. We travelled for about half an hour, and the storm finally arrived. It rained heavily, but I never sensed any chakra inside of the rain, so I wasn't worried. Idate arrived at the shrine, climbed up the stairs, and grabbed the item required to complete the race.

Idate shot me a grin and a thumbs-up, and then off we went again to bring the item to the finish line.

To my complete and utter surprise Idate and I never ran into Aoi, and I didn't see my teammates again until after the race.

Idate crossed the finish line without any more fuss and his entire adopted family, and the villagers, cheered with much joy. Since the race was over, and our contract was technically complete, I decided to leave only a single clone with Idate before heading off to find my teammates.

I backtracked along the race and ran into Naruto and Sasuke talking amicably and walking slowly.

Naruto waved his hand excitedly and cheered. "Hey, Sakura-chan! Lookie, lookie!"

He held up Aoi's head.

I whistled. "Wow. I was wondering why we never ran into him."

"He was guarding the other racer," Sasuke explained as he approached me. He held out a slim notebook over to me. "They caught up to us after we dealt with that Amegakure team. He thought he could take us out and then catch up to Idate."

"He was an arrogant prick," Naruto stated firmly. "Thought the gas bombs were smoke bombs and actually stood in them."

"Oh my."

"I took notes for you," Sasuke said. "It was quite the process. He died within the hour, though."

I opened the notebook and found Sasuke's neat and detailed handwriting. "He cried blood?"

"It was gross," Naruto confided.

"That's interesting. Wonder what part of the poison caused that," I murmured. "Thanks for the notes, Sasuke!"

"It wasn't a problem. I know it's important," Sasuke admitted. "K-Kaa-san had piles of notes on poisons she made."

I smiled at him. "Thank you again."

He shrugged.

Naruto scratched his cheek with his free hand. "Did Idate win?"

Nodding my head, I responded, "Yeah. Did you guys recover Aoi's weapons?"

"Weapons?" they repeated. "He didn't use any weapons."

"Oh, boy. He's got some legendary artifacts and weapons on him. Including a sword of lightning made by Tobirama."

"Shit," was all Naruto said.

Sasuke sighed. "I'll be right back."

"Honestly, you two should know by now to strip the bodies," I scolded. "You remembered to get the head for the bounty, might as well get some free supplies out of it, too."

Naruto gave a grossed out noise. "We didn't take the head off. It fell off."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it was super gross."

"Ugh," I moaned with unhidden envy. "I really gotta see the full effect next time."

With a mission complete our team headed back to Konoha, with Idate promising to write to his brother. Thankfully Sasuke was able to recover the sword and our trip back was completely uneventful.

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

"Kakashi-sensei!" I screamed with utter glee. For too long I hadn't been able to see my beloved sensei, and oh I hadn't realized how much I missed him. I threw myself at the young man with enough force that I felt his chakra spike to dig into the ground so he didn't topple over. My arms circled around his neck and my legs wrapped around his waist. I nuzzled into the crook of his neck, perfectly content for the moment.

Kakashi placed an arm around my waist, offering me a surprising amount of support while I body-hugged him. With his other hand he patted the top of my head. "Hello, Sakura-chan. How're my favorite minions?"

"Welcome back, Sensei," Naruto greeted, a bright smile on his face. "How long will you be back?"

"Please say forever," I murmured.

Kakashi gave me a consoling pat on the back. "For today and tonight, at least. I thought I'd check on your guys' progress before I get called away again."

Sasuke gave a small shrug. "We've been training on our own, and recently finished another C turned B mission."

"Sounds like quite the story," Kakashi commented.

An idea popped in my head and I leaned back from my pent up nuzzles. "We need to have dinner together tonight. All of us! My place. I will make the food. Naruto, Sasuke, you guys have to be there by five. Kakashi, I'm telling you to be there by one so you will show up at five. If you're later than five I will cry."

Naruto beamed. "Dinner sounds great! I love your cooking."

"Tonight is my designated rest night," Sasuke allowed. That vaguely surprised me because I thought for sure Sasuke would be the type to constantly over work himself every night, despite that being crazy unhealthy and detrimental to the long term. He always struck me as the obsessed type with his training.

I beamed and then looked pleadingly at Kakashi. The man in question was certainly uncomfortable, so I decided to help ease him. "Our safe word can be Spotty. You say Spotty and I guarantee to play safe and nice. I swear upon my devotion to the Goggle Gods."

"Spotty for my food indefinitely," Kakashi immediately said.

"So you'll come?"

"I'll come," he promised.

I released my hold on him so that way I could jump up and down in excited glee. Then I grabbed onto Naruto and made him jump and hug with me. I pulled away from him after a minute then took off. "I gotta start getting ready!"

"What about training?" Kakashi called after me.

"I'll train at midnight instead," I dismissed.

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

My kitchen table was too small for our whole team, and the dining room was set up as my brewing lab. I decided to stop by the furniture store before I headed home to cook (I created two shadow clones, which left me to a lowly quarter of my chakra left, and sent them to go grocery shopping). I picked out a low-sitting dining table (a light-wooden colored one with a smooth finish) that would be plenty big to seat each of us. I got red cushions to go with it, and went ahead purchased a matching futon.

It took a couple trips to carry everything to my house (and it was so nice to be able to carry such a heavy table by myself. I felt so proud of my muscles!), and about ten minutes to set it up in the living room, but it was worth the effort. I had my clones clean up the living room while I set to work in the kitchen.

I wasn't a messy person, per say. I had a routine around the house, and breaking that routine left me uncomfortable, so it was easy to keep things relatively picked up. I had many hampers and trash bins scattered about the house so I never had to worry about leaving messy stuff on the floor, but I was lazy about putting away books/notes/sewing supplies. Not to mention Brightheart shed a lot.

I minced and chopped up onions and let the sirloin rest inside of them while I worked on other aspects of the dinner. I made fresh dough to use as the wrap for the wellingtons, and with the leftover dough I added sugar and extra butter to turn it into a pie dough. With meticulous and happy focus, I worked on the dinner.

Cooking always made me happy. It reminded me of baking with Father, and cooking with Kaa-chan. I felt a little pang in my heart when I thought about them, but it wasn't enough to wipe off my smile. Maybe it was silly, but when I closed my eyes I felt like they were with me, telling me what to do for the next step.

The door swung open and I heard Brightheart let out a soft yip of a greeting. Brightheart had alternated between laying on her bed in the kitchen and watching me work, and going outside in the backyard and playing with her toys. For the moment she had returned to the kitchen and managed to persuade me into giving her a strip of steak.

I looked down at the puppy, and she looked back up at me, licking her chops.

"Smells amazing!" Naruto crowd. "Is that a new table?"

"Yeah, there wasn't going to be enough room in the kitchen, so I got another table. Can never have enough table space," I responded, pulling out the wellingtons from the oven. Naruto let out a groan of appreciation at the smell. I placed them on the cooking rack and turned around to greet my guest. "Thirsty?"

"A little," Naruto responded, stepping into the kitchen and taking everything in with wide eyes. "You made all of this? Wow."

I beamed with pride. "It's the first dinner we'll be having as a complete team. I wanted it to be nice."

"Good thing I skipped lunch," Naruto exclaimed. "Man, this looks great. Did you bake a pie?"

"It's on the window," I responded, pulling off my apron and hanging it on the kitchen hook by the doorway. "Let me put the tea on and we can head into the living room."

Naruto gave a nod, following behind me as I set up the kettle, then headed into the living room. He sat at one end of the table, sprawling out his legs and leaning back. "Your home smells so good, Sakura-chan."

"Aw, thanks. Did you get any reading done?"

Naruto smiled and nodded. "Yeah. It's really hard, and I have to re-read the same paragraph a couple times to get it, but I won't give up."

"I'm sure you'll do great," I reassured him.

The front door opened as Brightheart hobbled into the living room. The puppy flopped into my lap, and Sasuke popped his head. "Smells nice."

"Thank you," I responded, beaming at him. "Come sit with us, the tea's almost done. When Kakashi-sensei arrives we can eat."

"He better get here soon," Naruto said. "I'm starving."

Sasuke took a seat beside Naruto. "What's for dinner?"

"Beef wellingtons, mashed potatoes, inari sushi, cabbage rolls, fried curry buns," I began listing off. At their expression, I offered them a sheepish smile. "I wasn't sure what everyone would want, so I made everything. Whatever isn't eaten I can use as leftovers for my lunch."

"What's a wellington?" Naruto asked.

"Try it and find out," I told him. "I think you'll like it."

There was a polite knock at the door. I hollered, "It's forever unlocked, come in."

Kakashi entered my home, and stepped into the living room. "Smells delightful."

"Finally, we can eat," Naruto cheered, hopping up from his seat and making a mad dash towards the kitchen. Sasuke and I followed behind him at a slower pace, with Kakashi behind us. Naruto grabbed a plate and began to shovel a mountain of food on it. While he did so I turned towards the others and said, "I made green tea and lemonade. Do you have a preference?"

Kakashi answered, "Green tea."

Sasuke nodded. "Me, too."

I got their drinks and brought them over to the table, along with a teapot and pitcher, while they grabbed their food. By the time I grabbed my plate of food and made it back to the table, everyone was seated and waiting. I grinned. "Dig in!"

"Thanks for the food," they chorused.

And what a perfect dinner it was.

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Dear Sakura,

Zabuza and I are fine. He insists that he does not love Mei and if you bring it up again he will leave the harem. I promise to remain a part of the harem regardless, though. Thank you for your recipe on brownie cookies, we both love them.

On a side note, it seems that Mei actually found us and has become the new Mizukage. She wanted to personally invite Zabuza and I back into Kirigakure. Zabuza was exceedingly polite with her.

Zabuza is never polite with women.

I believe I must join you in shipping them together.

Yours,

Haku

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Dear Sakura,

Hello. I remember you. Naruto fought well against me. Thank you for the compliment. I would like us to be friends. I will join your harem.

Sincerely,

Gaara.

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Dear Sakura,

See the enclosed script I have for an upcoming movie about a forbidden love between a teacher and student.

Interested in going to the premiere?

Thanks for the sketches,

Takano

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Extra:

Kakashi stared at his sticky-noted covered apartment door and felt a combination of embarrassment, annoyance, and affection. He wasn't used to having such, ah, openly affectionate people in his life and it would still take a while before he was completely comfortable with it. That being said, part of him enjoyed it a little. It reminded him of simpler times.

Times before he took his first life; before his father; before Obito; before everything went to shit.

It was nice to think about those times. It'd been a long time since Kakashi thought about happy memories. 

So despite it being an annoyance, and despite being thoroughly embarrassed, Kakashi took down the notes with care. He wouldn't throw them away, he decided. He'd put them in a box and hold onto them.

It'd been a long time since he got to keep something that made him happy. 

Maybe it was finally okay to do so? 

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

I will not do Road to Ninja movie for this story. Because let's be honest: I would have to bring the rating up to M if it was a world based on Sakura's wishes.

And for anyone who wanted to know about my original story: I have the prologue and first chapter done. It'll probably be around fifty chapters for the first book.

Answer: Any Pokemon movie. I want to be a Pokemon trainer and forever live in the Pokemon world.

Question: Who would be in your harem? No more than ten.

Reviews are love!