"When I said that I cleaned my room, I meant that I made a path from the doorway to my bed."

-Anon

Disclaimer: I, Darkpetal16, do not own Naruto.

Warning: This story was made for shits and giggles

Edit: 12/9/14

Beta: SolarCupid (☞ ᐛ )☞

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Week One

Day One:

"Sensei!" I greeted enthusiastically. "I brought lunch for today. Would you like me to feed you?"

Kakashi stared at the overly cute bento box I held out to him before he rubbed at his nose, took a deep breath and "sneezed" out a small fireball.

I let out a startled shout, dropping the smoldering box. Naruto gaped. "That's sacrilege! You don't turn down a cute girl's homemade lunch."

"He had a very good reason to," Sasuke muttered, tossing me wary looks.

Mock sniffling, I whined, "A simple no would have sufficed."

Kakashi gave me an eye-smile. "Thank you for the lunch, Sakura."

My heart soared under his praise.

He set it on fire, why the hell does that praise make you happy?

Kakashi clapped his hands together. "That reminds me, Sakura, did you go to the hospital?"

"Yes, my ribs are merely bruised," I answered cheerfully. "They said it would only hurt if I took deep, ragged breaths."

"I see. In that case, you all will be doing laps around Konoha until you drop. Academy reports can only tell me so much: I want to see exactly where you are."

My ribs instantly started crying. My poor heart was being torn in two: on the one hand this was about to be hell, on the other hand I was clearly getting the Kakashi's attention.

Being the optimist I was though, I settled on the positive note that I was catching Kakashi's attention. In time, I was certain he would be so tired from my advances that he would give up and allow me all the butt pinches I wanted.

There is something wrong with you.

Naruto cried out, "But that's so boring! Aren't you supposed to teach us something cool?"

"Idiot, they don't teach fresh academy students the first week of becoming Genin high level ninjutsu," Sasuke snapped. "That's second week, minimum."

"Oh, okay."

Kakashi only continued to smile at us. "What are you waiting for? Chop-chop."

Day Two:

"Sensei!" I cheered. "I made everyone more bentos. Here you go."

There was a blinding flash of light and in a single heartbeat the delicate bento box I had crafted for Kakashi was shattered into a pile of splinters and mush. My lip jutted out into a pout as I dropped the remains onto the ground and wiped my hands on my shirt (I had decided to keep my hoodie off while I trained).

"Damn it, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto shouted. "If you didn't want it, let one of us have it! That's free food! And Sakura-chan is a crazy good cook."

Sasuke, who also had yet to take one of my bentos (he flat out declined and gave it to Naruto) and likely would not for a while, narrowed his eyes at Naruto's words. "You're biased. There's no way we could trust your judgement in that."

A frown tugged on my lips. "I actually am an amazing cook."

I had a combination of my own experience, and Sakura's memories (the girl cooked every day with her mother and for a while every weekend with her grandmother) which resulted in some bomb ass food.

Kakashi shrugged. "Maa, maa. How are your ribs, Sakura?"

"Still bruised. My whole body is bruised now, actually."

"Superb. Let's do some upper-body strength testing today."

"Go until we drop?" Naruto sullenly asked.

"You know me so well."

Day Three:

"Sensei! Here's your bento!"

The ground rumbled underneath my feet before a pillar shot up right in between my outstretched arms and knocked the lunch high up into the air.

"No," Naruto cried out in despair. "She made pizza!"

"You didn't know about pizza before today; is it really that good?" Sasuke muttered, staring at the bento box he had given to Naruto (Naruto had taken a tentative bite into the homemade mini pizzas before he inhaled his box, then Sasuke's).

"It had fresh tomato sauce with a special combination of spices and herbs," I put in mildly, watching Sasuke's eyebrow twitch minutely.

"Tomato sauce?" he said slowly. "What do you mean?"

"You and Kakashi will just have to try it and find out," I responded simply. The pillar crumbled away into a soft pile of dirt.

Kakashi chuckled. "Enough playing around, children. Today I will take you through my favorite obstacle course. It was created by a good friend of mine. A very," he paused, "youthful friend."

Oh, God.

'We got this!'

Day Four:

"Here, Sensei," I purred, holding out his bento with my one good arm.

Kakashi "coughed" and a multitude of spears pierced through the bento.

Naruto dropped to his knees in anguish. "Why are you doing this to us?!"

"Okay, she can not be that good of a cook," Sasuke declared.

"You sure?" I asked him.

He hesitated. "You can't be."

"I'm thinking about a meat lover's pizza tomorrow," I hummed. "Would that make you feel better, Naruto?"

Naruto sniffled. "I want extra pork on mine."

"Okay, you can have extra pork, little man."

Kakashi clapped his hands. "It's time to get to work, my cute little students! Sakura, how long will your arm be in a sling?"

"The doctor said as long as I didn't fall into any more spike pits everything should be healed up in a few days."

"Great. Then let's move on to Obstacle Course Level Two!"

If the three of us looked a bit paler at his words, we would never admit it.

Day Five:

"Se-en-se-ei," I sung holding out his homemade bento. "I made this special for you."

Within the blink of an eye the bento had been knocked out of my hand and nailed to a nearby tree.

Naruto let out a wail.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Sasuke demanded, clutching his own empty bento box.

Kakashi blinked. "Is it really that good?"

"Tomato. Sauce."

Kakashi rubbed the back of his head. "Hmm. Oh, well. Time for Obstacle Course Level Three!"

"I hate you," Naruto told him.

"I'm okay with that."

Day Six:

"Kakashi-sensei, I—"

Kakashi poofed into a plume of white smoke, only to be replaced by a note that said:

Self-training day. See you tomorrow.

The three of us stared at the note with mixed expressions.

Sasuke shoved his hands in his pocket. "I'll eat his bento, then."

"The hell you will," Naruto growled.

"Why won't he eat my food?" I wondered. "It's not like I'll drug him this early on in our relationship. We don't have a safe word, yet."

Both boys shuffled a few inches away from me.

Day Seven:

"I'm disappointed in you three," Kakashi began before I could even open my mouth. Then I heard what he said, and my heart positively shattered into a thousand little pieces, because that was the opposite of praise. That was anti-praise that he dished out on us.

A low keening noise crawled out of my throat, and I fell to my knees under the heavy burden those cruel words placed upon me.

"You broke her," Naruto accused, kneeling down and patting my back.

I curled into a fetal position, moaning in pain.

"Why would you break our chef?" Sasuke asked, glaring at Kakashi.

Kakashi was stupefied. "All I said was that I was disappointed—"

The moan turned into a wail of despair.

Naruto and Sasuke glowered at Kakashi. "How is she supposed to keep making food if you break her? Fix her, now."

"Um," was all Kakashi could say for a solid minute. Then he cleared his throat and kneeled down in front of me. "Sakura? How did I break you?"

"Y-You said the d word," I whispered dreadfully. "How could you?"

Kakashi's right hand drifted up and rubbed at his face. "Right. Okay. I take it back. I'm not disappointed in you."

I sniffled. "Promise?"

"... Yes."

I leapt up onto my feet, eyes bright and a cheerful smile on my face. "Yay! Would you like your bento, Sensei?"

"I'll eat it if you don't want it," Naruto subtly offered.

"It would probably be best if I took it. A ramen addict like yourself doesn't know how to appreciate good food," Sasuke, equally subtle, put in.

"Uh," Kakashi hedged. "Sakura, would it be... alright if I gave the food to someone else, instead? And he eats it on my behalf."

I squealed. "Does that mean you'll take my bento?"

"Sure," Kakashi said slowly. "This is actually a good opportunity to introduce you guys to my summons."

I stilled.

Oh. My. Madara's Sexiness. Doggy time!? At last, is it doggy time?!

Trying to remain utterly cool, I calmly responded. "That sounds great."

I was certain to keep the high-pitched note out of my voice that time. Wouldn't want to scare off Kakashi from summoning the world's cutest summons ever.

"You aren't actually going to give a perfectly good meal to summons," Sasuke incredulously stated.

Instead of verbally responding, Kakashi knelt on the ground, placing his right palm down. There was a puff of smoke and the cutest wootest wittle puggy wuggy ever appeared before us.

Resist, woman! Resist the temptation. We have to play it cool otherwise he'll never summon Pakkun for us again.

'I—am—TRYING.'

My body quivered with excitement as I tried to contain myself. I lowered myself to Pakkun and whispered, "I love you."

Oh. My. Madara's Sexiness. You are pathetic.

Pakkun tilted his head. "I am pretty loveable."

"And crazy cute," I agreed, my hands itching to touch his paws. "May I please touch your paws?"

"Only good kiddos get to do that. Are you a good kid?" Pakkun asked patiently.

"No," Kakashi denied for me, ignoring my squawk of betrayal. "Pakkun, this my team of minions. Minions, this is one of my summons, Pakkun."

"He looks lame," Naruto muttered.

I gasped, snapping my head around and glaring at the sunshine. "Naruto Uzumaki you apologize this instant. That there is the cutest little ball of badassery you will ever meet."

Naruto scratched his cheek, still looking dubious. "Uh—okay. Sorry, Cutest-Little-Ball-of-Baddassery-I-Will-Ever-Meet."

Pakkun nodded his head slowly. "I get that a lot, don't worry about it kiddo."

Kakashi cleared his throat. "Returning to the point. Sakura, will you not break down again if I give Pakkun my bentos?"

"I would have made doggy treats if I knew you were going to summon the world's cutest dog," I told him, "so I suppose I'll have to settle for him eating your lunch. Although I really think you should try it, Sensei—"

Kakashi clapped his hands. "Then it's settled. Let's finish eating and we'll try Level Three again today."

"What a waste," Naruto grumbled.

Week Two

Day Three:

Every inch of me was sore. I certainly had done extensive work outs before (my sensei demanded each student maintain a certain level of athleticism to attend her higher skill classes), but my body had been built up to that point before I really pushed myself. The lifestyle and athleticism required in the Narutoverse was next level in comparison to my previous life.

Not to mention Sakura's body was significantly weaker and more underdeveloped than what I was used to. I had finished my battle with puberty, so I had grown used to a developed body, only to then be thrown into a twelve year old's body at the start of her battle with puberty. Moreover, Sakura had done next to nothing (aside from dieting) to keep her body in shape.

What I was used to being able to do, and what I wanted to do, I simply could not anymore.

Not that that stopped me, of course. If I wanted to be a badass (which I did) then I had to suck it up and push through. For the past week and a couple of days, Kakashi had put our team through the wringer—something of which he did not do in canon. If I remember correctly, after the bell test Team Seven had been placed on about a month's worth of D-Ranked missions before Naruto snapped and demanded for a C-Rank.

The fact that Kakashi decided to physically push us every day, seven hours a day (noon to seven) instead of half-assedly sending us on D-ranks meant that something I did changed his mind.

And I knew exactly what I had done to cause that change.

I had made him a teeny-tiny-eensy bit annoyed with me.

So if Kakashi being annoyed with me resulted in him becoming a brutal teacher in a vain attempt to extract vengeance upon me... Well, how could I possibly deny such wonderful training to the team? It was certainly better than weeding someone's garden.

Really. That was my reason for trying to get under Kakashi's skin.

Not at all because it endlessly amused me to make the man squirm.

Honestly.

So, after a brutal session of training, I would crawl my way home and force myself to read at least one chapter out of the texts every night. Never had I been more grateful for an eidetic memory before—I simply would not have been able to retain any information that I read after such long workouts otherwise.

The past two days, however, I had noticed that I wasn't ready to pass out after the training sessions.

In my previous life, such noticeable improvement so soon would be rarer than the sparkling fart of a unicorn.

However with chakra in the Narutoverse, it seemed as though almost all my basic knowledge of human anatomy, expectations, and whatnot was absolutely worthless.

Which made sense given the stupendous feats some shinobi and kunoichi were able to perform. If they developed the same way as humans from my first life, then it would have been impossible for them to do half the things the manga claimed they could do.

Since everything I had seen thus far only further proved that the manga was one hundred percent accurate, I was inclined to simply believe that the humans of the Narutoverse were just... special.

Keeping that in mind, I took my noticeable improvement as a sign to move on to the next step of my medical training.

Despite my legs screaming at me to stop what I was doing, go home, and take a nice long salt bath.

Are we really doing this? Do you actually think she'll help us?

'Of course she would!' I thought, indignant. 'She's one of the nicest people I know.'

But if her father disapproves it'll never happen.

'Well why would he disapprove this?'

Because.

'Because?'

Because you're a highly suspicious person for his precious little girl.

'I am not—okay, so maybe I am a little suspicious, but he doesn't know that!'

Mm-hmm.

I could practically feel my Inner roll her eyes at me. I resisted the urge to stick out my tongue, knowing that it probably wouldn't leave a good impression on those around me.

Those, meaning the Hyūga compound guards.

"Hello," I began, drawing the two men's attention. "My name is Haruno Sakura. I was a fellow classmate of Hinata-chan, and I was hoping I could speak with her in regards to a semi-important matter?"

"Is Hinata-sama expecting you?" the first guard inquired.

"Probably not," I admitted, keeping my grin up, "but given that she's not a Clan Head, that shouldn't really matter, should it?"

"It's typically polite to schedule appointments with heiresses," the second guard explained.

"Oh. I'm sorry, I honestly had no idea."

"It's alright," the second guard reassured me, while the first one glared at me. "Given that you're classmates, I'm sure she won't be bothered. I'll see if she's available."

"Thanks," I chirped.

While the second guard headed inside, I patiently waited. There wasn't much to do besides wait. The first guard was obviously in no mood to talk with me, and I didn't particularly feel like forcing conversation when I didn't want nor have to.

The warm breeze ruffled my hair, causing the ends of it to tickle my cheek. I reached up and tucked part of it behind my ear in the same moment the doors to the compound opened and the first guard came out with Hinata.

"Hey, Hinata-chan," I greeted enthusiastically. "How's it going?"

Hinata awarded me with a cute, shy smile. "W-Well, um, thank you, Sakura-san. Ayomo-san mentioned you had something you wanted to talk with me about?"

I gave her a mock bow. "I do, fair lady! Care to join me for a walk?"

Hinata hesitated a brief moment before smiling again and saying, "Okay."

After a couple of paces heading away from the compound and towards the nearest training ground, I asked, "Would you like to join me for some training after our team sessions?"

Hinata's eyes widened. "Tr-Training? With m-me?"

"Of course," I told her, placing an arm around her shoulders (she made a squeaky noise and blushed). "I want us to become the bestest of friends, and everyone knows the best way to do that is through training."

"Fr-Friends? With me?" Hinata squeaked out, clear disbelief in her tone.

"Yeah. You're really amazing, Hinata-chan," I told her, smiling. "Besides, since I've decided that I'm going to be Naruto's best friend, I had better become even better friends with his future wife."

Her face was like a rose, and then her eyes rolled back and she promptly passed out. But I anticipated that (which was why I placed my arm around her), and caught her easily. Although my muscles did complain heavily, I swung her over my shoulder and continued to carry her to the training grounds.

The Hyūga heiress came to about a minute after we arrived and I had already set her down.

When she saw me looking down on her with a smug smile, her cheeks reddened again and she buried her face in her hands. "P-P-Please d-don't s-say th-things like that."

"I won't say it again tonight," I promised, "but I'm only being honest. I really do want us to become good friends, Hinata-chan, and I truly think we would do well to train with each other."

"I'm n-not—"

I squatted down in front of her, placing both of my hands on either side of her cheek and squishing her face together so she couldn't finish her nonsense talk. "Every time you say something ridiculous like I'm not good, or I can't do that, I am going to smoosh your adorable cheeks together. Understand?"

Hinata nodded her head, and I released her before straightening back up. "Okay, good. You are an amazing kunoichi, Hinata-chan. Anyone who ever tells you otherwise has to deal with me, okay? Now, back to the point: I want to train with you. Will you train with me?"

Hinata's hands wrung together, as she anxiously fidgeted. "I-I would like that, um, but I also have to, um, train with my team."

"I do, too," I told her, "so how about we meet here around seven thirty every night? If one of us doesn't show up, then we'll assume they're busy."

"I c-can do that," Hinata agreed softly. "Wh-What exactly do you want to train in?"

Beaming at her, I pulled open my black backpack and presented her with a pink notebook. Inside the notebook was a detailed training regime I asked Iruka to put together a few days ago. I told him I wanted to train one on one with Hinata, and that I wanted to become an iryo-nin. Iruka was probably one of the best people I could ask for about what exactly Hinata needed the most training in, and how to go about doing that. He wasn't typically able to focus on her given that he had a fairly large class (and Naruto) to deal with, but he certainly had many ideas about how to best help her.

The man was an amazing teacher, and if anyone would be able to put together a detailed training program for us, it would be him.

Maybe also Ebisu, but I had no way of contacting him and he had absolutely no reason to help us.

Hinata read through the program quietly, and about halfway through she stopped and looked up at me. A hopeful smile was on her face. "Th-This looks v-very good. I don't know if I-I can—"

My hands immediately snapped out and I smooshed her cheeks together. "Yes, you can."

Hinata giggled and managed to say, "Okay."

Releasing her, I clapped my hands together and said, "Excellent! You okay to start now?"

Hinata nodded. "I-I, um, will have to tell Father, b-but I'm sure, um, he will be fine w-with extra training. I'll, um, be r-right back."

"Good! Oh, and drop the san for me. We're going to be future besties, right? So just Sakura will do."

She beamed at me.

"You're so adorable," I squealed, causing her to panic.

Week Two

Day Six:

Kakashi's eyes scanned over each of us that late morning. The three of us were still eating my lunch (Kakashi had yet to eat anything from me. He would though. I was a stubborn fool), not expecting Kakashi to show up until at least noon.

Kakashi said, "I've decided you guys have earned the right to take your first mission."

"Oh, great," Naruto unenthusiastically said. I might have already told the team that D-Ranks were essentially filled with babysitting, weeding, and running errands. Hinata had mentioned how her team had been stuck on repeating the Tora mission for five days in a row, and I simply couldn't resist seeing Naruto's face when I told him about it. The look of utter disgust was delightful.

You're a bit of an S, hmm.

'This has already been stated.'

"I'd rather keep training, Kakashi-sensei," I put in, smiling up at him and giving him my daily wink.

On the bright side it seemed like Kakashi was starting to become used to my mock flirtations, and would no longer react (he even started politely declining my bento with outlandish excuses that would give Obito a run for his money).

On the down side he was getting used to it and stopped giving me the amusing reactions I so craved.

On the bright, bright side, since he was no longer as angry with me he more easily gave me praise.

"If you want to get cleared to take the more interesting missions, you have to do your fair share of D-Ranks," Kakashi explained.

Sasuke frowned. "How many do we have to do to take a C-Rank?"

"Twenty-one, minimum," he answered.

"Huh. That'll take forever and a day to complete," I mumbled, my brow furrowed. "Why don't we each take a D-Rank and complete it on our own? We should compete to see who can complete the most before we reach our quota. At least make it interesting."

At the prospect of a contest, both boys (naturally) looked interested. Naruto grinned. "Hell, yeah! I bet I'll have finished twenty by the time you guys finish one."

"Hn. Unlikely. You'll probably be the one stuck on one the entire time and I'll have to carry the team."

Kakashi scratched the back of his head. "The point of D-Ranks is to work on teamwork—"

"That's for ordinary teams though," I said, "and we're clearly not an ordinary team. Naruto and Sasuke show their love for each other," both boys gave disgusted noises, "through competition, and I'm simply so amazing that I get along with everyone."

Kakashi shifted his posture to the back of his heels. "Mm. As long as you take at least three missions together as a team, I'll allow the competition."

"Woo-hoo!" Naruto cheered. "Let's get a C-Rank tomorrow!"

"Idiot, it'll be at least a few days," Sasuke snapped.

"Maybe for you," Naruto retorted.

"We're on the same team, moron."

"Na-uh! Sakura and I are on Team Awesome, and you're on Team Loser with Kakashi-sensei!"

"But I want Kakashi-sensei to be on our team," I whined, then paused and slowly smiled at Kakashi. "Or maybe we should have our own team, in private."

Kakashi covered his eyes with his right hand, letting out a long sigh.

'Heh-heh-heh.'

You're worse than a pervy old man.

'Thank you.'

Week Three

Day Five:

"It's time, Jiji!" Naruto declared, a triumphant grin on his face. "We're ready for our C-Rank, so hand it over!"

Sasuke and I flanked our bundle of sunshine teammate. Sasuke had his arms folded across his chest, whereas I had my hands behind my back so Kakashi could see them.

I now had to always have my hands visible to Kakashi.

It was still worth it.

I was immediately hosed down with a low-powered water-dragon afterwards, that knocked me out for the day, but hey.

Worth it.

Sarutobi smiled fondly at Naruto, inhaling from his pipe. "Is that so? Kakashi, do you think your team is ready?"

"I suppose so," Kakashi said with a shrug, his single visible eye glancing over to where I kept my hands.

I wiggled my fingers in hello, disappointed he didn't react further than that.

Sarutobi nodded his head. "Very well. I have just the mission for you. Please send in Tazuna."

There was a pregnant pause before the doors opened to the mission room and the old drunk himself entered the room.

'Huh. You know, I kind of thought our first mission might have been something different.'

Plot-no-Jutsu strikes again.

'More like Fate-no-Jutsu.'

Tazuna's face grimaced upon seeing us. "The hell? They're all kids."

"I'll have you know that I merely a flat-chested young woman," I corrected him.

Kakashi placed a warning hand on top of my head. However, Naruto giggled at me (he always found amusement in the ways I could make people squirm, like a true best friend).

Tazuna barked out a laugh at that. "Ha! I am bridge building expert, Tazuna. Once I have returned to my country, I will have you protect my life while I finish the bridge."

"What a coincidence, I had a dream about protecting a bridge builder," I exclaimed. "I dreamed of an evil tyrant was hell-bent on destroying the bridge, and so a giant fox, a baby duck, and I had to band together to defend the builder. It had quite the epic battle in it, let me tell you."

Kakashi's grip on my head was starting to become a little uncomfortable.

Tazuna nervously laughed. "Oh? That sounds like quite the crazy dream."

"She's quite the crazy student," Kakashi agreed.

I beamed under the praise.

That was not praise, you praise-whore!

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

We had an hour to pack our things and head off with Tazuna. I dropped by the Hyūga residence and left a message for Hinata that I would be gone for a week or so due to our first C-Rank mission. Afterwards, I headed off to one of the shinobi supply stores, intent on purchasing some essentials for the mission.

I wasn't entirely sure what the gosh darn dilly dally heck I would be able to change without ruining the story. I knew it was important for Sasuke to activate his Sharingan (hell, I knew there was no way I would be able to stop Orochi-friggin-maru from coming after us during the exam and I was positive the Hax-Eye-no-Jutsu was essential to our survival). I equally knew Naruto needed to begin his encounters with Kurama.

The fluffy creature of badassery would take a while to Therapy-no-Jutsu, and it had to start somewhere.

Not to mention Naruto had to develop his nindo.

That being said, I really didn't want hotties like Zabuza and Haku to die.

It was quite the pickle, really.

I had begun my iryo-nin training with Hinata five days ago, and had been relatively successful in my endeavours. Once again, I had to take a moment to appreciate Sakura's eidetic memory, and her superb chakra control. She might have had an awful temperament in the beginning, but the girl clearly had talent.

It was rather sad, actually, that no one took the time to push her to really bring out that talent.

'I won't let it go to waste though.'

Iryo chakra required precise control in order to conjure, maintain, and control. Unlike standard chakra, iryo chakra could not have any elemental chakras. That was due to the obvious reason of incompatibility for patients. Not every patient could possibly have the same nature as a doctor and of course their body would reject any strange chakra forced inside of them—not unlike how I reacted when chakra entered my system. The best way to circumvent that was for the (future sexy) doctor or (future sexy) nurse to withdraw their own elemental natures from their chakra.

After that point, it was all an understanding of anatomy and practice.

I had done the typical practicing on fish before I moved on to patching up Hinata's bruises and (exceedingly) minor scrapes. It took significant effort on my part, and I knew it would be a while before I got the hang of it enough to become practical in battle.

Unfortunately, I was certainly not skilled enough to save Haku from being stabbed in the heart, or Zabuza from blood loss.

But, I was a dedicated fan girl with a little extra cash and some time to prepare.

My harem had to start somewhere, right?

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

I arrived at the front gate, my backpack significantly lighter than what I was used to carrying. Not only because of my intensive physical training, but because Hinata actually gave me a couple of storage scrolls a couple days after we started training.

Knowing how expensive they were, I asked her why of course.

She gave me a shy mumble, "W-We're g-going to be besties. I-I, um, don't n-need them a-and you clearly do, so, um... p-please accept th-them as a t-token of my appreciation."

She really shouldn't have been so surprised I glomped her with glee and started nuzzling her.

If she wasn't getting married to sunshine personified I would have declared us future wives then and there.

Oh well.

Naruto beamed upon seeing me. "Sakura-chan! You were almost late."

I grinned at the hero and slung my arm around his shoulder, pulling him in so I could ruffle his hair. "I would never be late to a mission, silly."

"H-Hey!" Naruto complained, squirming to try and get out from my hair-ruffles. "Come on!"

With a laugh, I let him go. "Sorry your hair is too soft and fluffy to resist."

Naruto pouted. "If it was anyone else, but you I woulda given 'em a beatdown."

"I'm sure," I placated him, then turned to Kakashi. "We good to go?"

"Maa. I suppose so," Kakashi said, glancing around at this three Genin before looking over at Tazuna. "Are you ready, Tazuna?"

Tazuna took a long drink from his bottle of sake before he grimaced and said, "Let's get this over with. Are you really sure these brats are capable of protecting me?"

Kakashi gave his famous one-eyed-crinkled-so-it-looks-like-he's-smiling-but-in-reality-he-might-very-well-be-flipping-you-off-in-his-mind-which-was-so-hot and said, "Don't worry. I'm a Jōnin and I'll be accompanying you. I am more than capable of defending us."

Naruto glowered at Tazuna's remark and looked ready to object—very loudly I might add—so I interrupted him in an attempt to diffuse the situation with my typical humor, "Oh, I know you're more than capable—"

"Okay, going to stop you there, Sakura," Kakashi smoothly said, placing a hand on my head. "Let's get moving."

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Five hours into the walk we arrived at the infamous puddle. I debated on whether I should draw attention to it for some extra praise, or let things run its course.

On one hand, I really wanted the praise.

On the other hand, I had a great opportunity to have a little fun. Kakashi undoubtedly already knew there were missing-nin hiding in the puddle, but he didn't know that I knew that.

With a skip in step I headed over to the puddle. "Hey guys, look! A puddle! Even though it hasn't rained for over a week."

"It's just a stupid puddle," said Naruto, frowning.

"I love splashing in puddles," I told him. "Since it hasn't rained in over a week, I haven't been able to do that."

"If it hasn't rained in over a week, why is a puddle there?" Sasuke asked.

"The Goggle Gods must have blessed me," I answered him sagely. "That is the only explanation."

I then bent over in a great exaggerated show of about to leap inside the puddle before Kakashi intervened with a timely, "Maa, I don't think we should be playing in puddles on a mission."

"But if it's a blessing from the Goggle Gods, I wouldn't want to offend them."

Kakashi stared at me then gave me an eye-smile. "It could also be a test from them to see if you're worthy for the, ah, Rainbow Stick Story."

I gasped. "You're right! Oh no, I don't know what to do now."

"Why don't you—"

Whatever brilliant suggestion Kakashi was about to finish never came because the missing-nin leapt out of the puddle and threw a long chain towards Kakashi. In the blink of an eye I saw the chains wrap around Kakashi and pull him—

I didn't actually see him get pulled apart. I saw the logs immediately replace him, but apparently everyone else around me got to see him be pulled apart because Naruto let out a shout of horror.

'Why—?'

He probably used a genjutsu during canon. Considering how you reacted when he placed you under a genjutsu during the bell test, I doubt he would use that again on you during a live combat situation.

'Oh. That actually makes complete sense.'

I quickly moved to stand in front of Tazuna, a kunai pulled out and my posture shifted to defensive. I was pleased by how I had been able to follow the two generic henchmen with my eyes, when I most certainly would not have been able to at the start of my new life in the Narutoverse.

Naruto had frozen still in utter fear, and the two missing nin lunged towards him. Before Naruto could properly defend himself, Sasuke acted swiftly and threw a kunai towards the men. They separated, one continuing towards Naruto and Sasuke and the other headed straight towards me and Tazuna.

I felt the man's killing intent, and for a brief moment, my heart skipped a beat.

Adrenaline rushed through me and I felt a keen sense of utter thrill. The very idea of fighting someone always got me tingling in my spars, but now in a life or death situation...

I was positively giddy.

A grin lit up my face and I moved towards the man, kunai in my left hand and a bare fist in my right. Unfortunately for me though, before he could reach me Kakashi's arm jutted out right before the man and slammed into his neck.

The missing nin retched before passing out, and I couldn't quite hide my disappointment.

Kakashi, entirely at ease, readjusted his grip on the two henchmen that were then unconscious.

'I didn't even notice Kakashi take out the first one.'

Something we'll have to work on.

"Yo," Kakashi greeted, dropping the men to the ground before brushing off his hands on his pants like he had been touching dirt previously. "Sorry for not helping you out sooner, Naruto. I didn't think you wouldn't be able to move."

Naruto flinched, as if Kakashi had told him ramen had become illegal in Konoha.

Kakashi turned towards Sasuke. "You did very well defending your teammate, Sasuke." His lazy eye slid over to me. "Sakura, you went straight towards defending our client per the mission parameters, so good job. I have to ask though, how did you know they would be in the puddle?"

"Um," came my response as I thought fast, "the Goggle Gods warned me, of course."

Kakashi rubbed the back of his head. "Mn. Sakura you know I know you're chakra-sensitive. You don't have to lie, you aren't in trouble. When you sense people, you—"

"Oh, hey, look Naruto's hurt" I quickly said.

'But I didn't sense them.'

Well. It's hard to sense anything when we feel everything.

'Chakra is everywhere in this world. It's disorienting when I focus on it, so I'd rather not do that.'

Naruto blinked in surprise. "Huh? Oh this thing?"

"They're from Kirigakure," I said, "so they probably have poison on their weapons. I have some standard antidotes in my pack, so hang on."

While I rummaged through my pack for the some antidotes, Kakashi turned to face Tazuna. "Sasuke tie up those missing nin, I need to talk with Tazuna."

Tazuna gulped nervously from Kakashi's obvious undertone of irritation.

Sasuke tied up the henchmen, using rope Kakashi provided while Tazuna began to spill his life story.

I located the antidote and gestured for Naruto to stand beside me. Naruto glumly gave me his hand to examine and I had him swallow the antidotes. Deciding that his cut was minor enough that it would heal on its own, I wrapped a bandage around it after placing some disinfectant on it.

"... so you see, the bridge is our last hope for the people. I'm sorry I lied, I really am, but I'm begging you to please... please help me," Tazuna said, bowing lowly to us.

Kakashi gave a sigh. "This mission is above our parameters. We aren't equipped to handle this. Naruto even was too scared to react properly—"

"I won't be!" Naruto growled, his hands shaking.

Kakashi pointedly looked at said shaking hands.

Naruto shook his head vehemently before pulling out a kunai and then proceeding to stab his right hand that I had just doctored up. I face-palmed at that.

'That shit is not cheap! Damn it.'

In triumph, Naruto held up his now-bleeding-profusely hand that no longer shook. "I can take it. We can do this, Kakashi-sensei. Let's finish this mission through."

Kakashi sighed. "Except now you're going to die from blood loss, so we really have to get back to Konoha."

"... NOOO! No, no, no, nononononononnononononoooo. I can't die this way!" Naruto screeched, jumping around, clutching at his hand, and generally spazzing out.

My hand snapped out to grab his injured hand. My tongue clucked in annoyance at having to throw away perfectly good gauze because someone had to make a dramatic point. "Relax. I can heal you."

Kakashi cocked his head at me, and even Sasuke looked over since he had finished tying up the henchmen. "Hmm?"

"I've been training to become an iryo-nin for a while," I told him, placing my hand over the wound and calling forth my chakra. "Textbooks are pretty informative."

"So you've been essentially training on your own?" Kakashi casually inquired.

I nodded my head, carefully transitioning my chakra from the standard pale blue to the calming pale green.

Carefully, and slowly, I stitched Naruto's muscles and skin back together. The wound wasn't deep enough to have damaged any nerves or arteries, but it did strain his cartilage and of course tore his skin.

Finished, I withdrew my hand and beamed with pride at my work. Not a single mark on his skin.

Kakashi let out a low whistle. "That's certainly impressive. It normally takes months under an apprenticeship before acquiring the control to do that."

My cheeks warmed and I giggled in nervous embarrassment from the praise. "Eheheh..."

Praise-whore.

Naruto was amazed. "Wow, Sakura! You really are awesome."

I shuffled my feet and scratched the back of my head sheepishly. "Ah, it's nothing. Tsunade-sama wrote out very detailed instructions, and something like a little scratch is easy to heal."

'Wait until you see what I have planned later.'

"Anyway!" I said loudly, still feeling all warm and happy from Kakashi's praise, "I vote we carry on with the mission. And I feel like Naruto and Sasuke would agree with me on that."

"Hn," grunted Sasuke, not denying his support.

"Of course!" Naruto agreed.

Kakashi chuckled. "Maa, maa. Alright. Let's head out, team."

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

I'm tired of OCs getting scared. Taking a page from my story, Moratorium, this OC!Sakura is a bit of an adrenaline junkie. Okay, maybe more than a bit.

Answer: Madara, of course. He is the God of Sexiness, with Naruko right behind him.

Question: Quick! Someone from the Narutoverse has to be your permanent bodyguard for all your life because you are in mortal peril (villains and or heroes from other verses are after you). Who is your bodyguard, and who is after you?

Reviews are love!