Adorable Art by SarahGarciaDonaire on deviantART. :) 

"Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not!"

-Anon

Disclaimer: Naruto is Kishimoto's toy, I'm just playing with it. I don't own Naruto Abridged either.

Warning: This is the story you read when you need to smile, laugh, or just need to feel good. This story does not believe in physics, or logic. Go read some Naruto!ANBU stories if you want some gritty realism.

Edit: 6/24/14

Edit: 4/28/2017

Beta: SolarCupid (☞ ᐛ )☞

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

After an informative boat ride and a quiet farewell to our ferrier, our team carried on with the mission.

The moment I stepped onto the Land of Waves, I felt my heart soar in anticipation. Not only was I about to embark on a dangerous and positively thrilling adventure, but I was going to witness first hand an entirely epic battle between two famous assassins. How could anyone not be absolutely gleeful?

My lips twitched as I fought to hide back my excited giggles. I shifted the weight of my backpack so it was no longer entirely on one shoulder while my team and our client continued our walk to Tazuna's home.

Naruto was on high alert, jumping at every sound, with his eyes and head turning in all sorts of directions.

'I wonder why Kakashi doesn't just assassinate Gato. He's more than capable of it, and if he kills him, then no one would come after Tazuna.'

He doesn't know the security Gato has. If he needlessly endangers himself, he risks being unable to protect us from threats he knows are coming.

'He's an elite shinobi, with an S-Class ranking. He was trained to be an assassin in the ANBU, and even became a Captain. Are you seriously going to try and tell me that he can't send clones to scout it out? Hell, why isn't he sending clones now to scout ahead for danger?'

I don't know?

I turned towards Kakashi. "Sensei? How come we don't just kill Gato?"

Kakashi's eyes flickered towards me. "Not our jurisdiction, for starters."

"So it would break some sort of rule if we did? But technically, we would be protecting our client by doing so. This Gato is obviously a threat to Tazuna, and as his bodyguards shouldn't we... I don't know... do everything we can to help?"

"It would be a logical approach," Sasuke mildly pointed out.

Naruto's face screwed up in distaste. "Isn't he a civilian though?"

"But, Naruto, he's an evil tyrant. Don't you want to be the hero that storms in and defeats the big bad guy and saves an entire country?"

When painted in that light, Naruto seemed a lot more accepting.

"Maa, maa," Kakashi chastised, placing a hand on top of my head again. "Enough. This is your first C-Rank mission, I won't let it turn into an assassination, moreover a civilian assassination."

"Trying to protect our innocence?" I coyly asked.

"A losing battle, I know, but someone has to try."

"The war has long since been lost for me, Kakashi-sensei," I admitted to him. "I am now with the Dark Side, enticing others with cookies so I may corrupt them."

Kakashi removed his hand, placing it back inside his pocket. "Then it would seem that we are on different sides of the war, Sakura."

I gazed at him squarely, projecting a serious and calm air. "Although we may be on different sides, always know that I love you."

There was the sound of a palm being introduced to a forehead, and I knew it had to come from Sasuke, because Naruto was giggling at me and Kakashi looked utterly torn between bemusement and being irritated again.

The hairs on the back of my neck tingled, just as Kakashi shouted, "Get down!"

I dropped to the ground, hearing the whizzing sound of Zabuza's sword soar above us. There was a loud thud, and I leapt back to my feet. Zabuza appeared atop the sword, his back turned to us as he sneered down at us from above.

"You shall be the first," I whispered, my eyes glued to the booty.

"Zabuza," Kakashi greeted with a drawl, moving to take point.

"Hi, Zabuza!" I greeted, smiling brightly and winking at him. "You have a very nice booty. Not as nice as Kakashi-sensei's, but it's very good in its own right."

Zabuza's cold gaze glanced over towards me. Despite projecting a somber air, his tone wasn't actually malicious or scary in the slightest. Then again, I knew he was a sweetie at heart and he likely wasn't going to just go around killing a bunch of green kiddos. "I didn't realize Konoha had its own Mei."

"You know Mei-hime?" I exclaimed. "Oh my dilly dally gosh darn heck, that is so cool. I heard she's as lethal as she is beautiful."

Zabuza snorted. "I didn't realize she had fans."

"I certainly like her, but I'm actually Kisame-sama's fangirl," I told him.

That got an incredulous look. "Are you serious?"

"Well, I mean, did you know that sharks have two di—"

"Sakura," Kakashi snapped.

For a flash, I thought I saw a brief spark of amusement in Zabuza's eyes, but it was gone too quick to really take note. Zabuza's gravelly voice drawled out, "Surrender the bridge builder, and I'll allow you to live."

Mist drifted in, making my skin crawl because I felt Zabuza's chakra through it. His chakra by itself wasn't uncomfortable, or really had any sort of bad-feeling, but the fact that there was so much of it made me feel distinctly not okay, and lethargic.

"Like hell we will!" Naruto declared for all of us. "We're about to unleash a can whoop ass on you if you don't turn around and leave."

"Formation Myriad around Tazuna," Kakashi ordered. "Stay out of my way. This guy is out of your league."

The three of us formed a tight triangle around Tazuna, and Zabuza let out a bark of a laugh. "I warned you. Enjoy your last minutes of life."

In a single motion, Zabuza grabbed his sword and leapt atop the nearby water, preparing his next ninjutsu.

Zabuza began releasing his chakra in troves into the mist, creating a thick and almost tangible blanket of mist and chakra around us.

I gasped upon this, not because it was surprising or neat, but because it suddenly got very hard to breathe. His chakra was everywhere and with every breath I took it burned my lungs and left me breathless. I tried to breathe—I really did—but it got increasingly harder, enough so that my knees buckled and my head started to spin.

Naruto caught me, "Sakura-chan! What's wrong?"

I gestured wildly towards my throat, retching.

"Sakura, relax," Kakashi instructed. "You have to purge his chakra from you system like releasing a genjutsu. Keep your chakra circulating and purge as often as you can."

It took a minute, with both my teammates watching me with varying levels of worry, but I was able to accomplish that.

Still hurt like a mother to breathe though.

Is it because we're chakra sensitive?

'Only explanation.'

"H-Howsabout we pretend that didn't happen," I wheezed, my words coming out in a slur.

Then I felt it.

His killing intent.

Beside me, I felt Sasuke and Naruto tremble.

A shiver of excitement ran through me. "Oh my. That is—oh my Madara's Sexiness this is so amazing."

A chilling laugh echoed. "I didn't realize Konoha was capable of spitting out Genin with a spine."

"Your killing intent is very intense," I said loudly. "How do you do it? I mean no one takes me seriously when I want to kill someone."

"I wonder why," Sasuke muttered beside me, his hands clenching tightly as he shook from fear. He glanced towards me. "You aren't afraid?"

"I'm actually getting a bit turned—"

"Please. Stop."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm just joking, jeez. Take that damn stick out yo' butt. Of course I'm not scared! Not only will Kakashi-sensei protect us, but I'm under the protection of the Goggle Gods. They blessed our trip by giving us the puddle, remember?"

"That puddle was actually two missing-nin that tried to kill us."

"I know. It was awesome."

"Can you please focus on protecting me?" Tazuna wheezed, looking absolutely petrified.

"Don't worry, old man," Naruto tried to reassure him, his own voice cracking from fear.

I nodded my head. "Yeah, don't worry. Hey, Zabuza, can you do us a favor and hurry up and engage in a battle with Kakashi? I've never seen two S-Ranked shinobi fight each other before in person, so I'm really hyped for this."

Kakashi cocked his head, his Sharingan whirling bright red throughout the mist. "We wouldn't want to disappoint her, Zabuza. You aren't going to be able to sneak past all of us to kill Tazuna. You have to take me out first."

I heard a scoff in the distance. Frowning, I pleaded, "Please? Pretty please?"

Silence greeted us for a solid minute before Zabuza flew out of the mist like a rabid dog towards Kakashi. Kubikiribōchō was swung down hard and Kakashi had to use two kunai to combat the huge sword. Zabuza smirked. "How can I say no to someone begging so politely for me to kill them? Going head on against a member of Kiri no Shinobigatana Shichinin Shū is ballsy. I'll reward you by making your death swift."

The two disengaged and Zabuza landed on the nearby water. I squealed, clapping my hands. "Go, Kakashi-sensei! No offense, Zabuza, I mean, I would cheer for you, but you know how it is."

Let the epic began ensue!

Obviously I couldn't see much of the battle, since they moved so quickly, but I could feel huge spikes of chakra, and hear the sounds of battle. Metal on metal, thunderous roaring water dragons, and the tell-tale signs of Chidori.

I quivered with glee. "This is so cool! GO KAKASHI-SENSEI! GO, GO, GO!"

Sasuke swatted at me. "Would you be quiet? We have to focus on protecting Tazuna."

"You aren't even a little amazed by what's happening?" I demanded of him. "Look at this! When are you ever going to see our sensei fight one of the Seven Swordsman? Only, like, four are still alive to this day!"

Naruto frowned, scratching his cheek and looking over at me. "Are they really that cool, Sakura-chan?"

"To become a Swordsman, not only do you have to master kenjutsu or bukinjutsu, but you have to wield one of the legendary swords, which takes years of experience to handle. You have to also be at least S-Rank—and S-rank is only given to the best of the best. All the Hokages are SS or even SSS!"

"Wow," Naruto gaped, utterly amazed. "So—So Kakashi and Zabuza are crazy strong?"

"Crazy strong," I agreed. "Who knows when's the next time we'll be able to see such an epic battle first hand without having to actively participate? There could be so much we could learn from this, too! Like Kakashi is known for having learned over a thousand ninjutsus, so who knows what he might pull out his ass?"

Even Sasuke looked impressed. "A thousand?"

"A thousand," I confirmed, then after hearing a particularly impressive explosion, I shouted, "WOO! YOU GOT THIS KAKASHI-SENSEI! IF YOU WIN I WON'T GRAB YOUR BOOTY FOR THE REST OF THE MISSION!"

There was a heartbeat of silence before Kakashi called out, "Promise?"

"I swear in the name of Madara's Sexiness," I told him. "ZABUZA! If you win I PROMISE I'LL HELP YOU GET MEI. I totally ship you guys together!"

Another loud crash echoed, followed by silence. "THE HELL YOU WILL."

"Who's Mei?" Naruto asked me.

"A famous Jōnin from Kirigakure," I explained to him. "She'll become the next Mizukage, I bet." Then, remembering something, I opened my backpack and pulled out one of my bingo books.

I had actually bought, like, ten. I had to decorate my room with Kisame-sama posters somehow and the only picture available of him was in a bingo book. So I had to buy one bingo book so I could keep a picture in my wallet, then another to blow up into a poster, then another to blow up into another poster, then I had to give one to Hinata because she didn't know what he looked like and everyone should know what Kisame-sama looked like—

I also planned on sneaking into Gai's apartment somehow in the future after he met Kisame-sama and gluing his picture everywhere with his name written all over his apartment so he would never dare to forget the great man's name.

My hands worked quickly to flip towards Mei's page. I proudly held out her picture for my team to see. "Isn't she beautiful? Don't you think she'd make a cute couple with Zabuza?"

"No," I heard Zabuza shout followed by the sound of ten paper bombs going off.

"Admit that you love her," I cried out.

"You're insane," Tazuna whispered, his eyes wide. "What are you doing?"

"Fighting for my ship," I declared passionately, then turning to face Naruto I grabbed his hands. "You support me, right?"

Naruto shrugged. "Sure. Zabuza and Mei forever."

"Yes," I hissed out slowly. "Another has joined the fandom. You are a true friend, Naruto."

That made him beam. "I am a pretty neat friend, huh."

"The best," I agreed, then slung an arm around his shoulder. "ZABUZA AND MEI TOGETHER FOREVER AND EVER."

"I WILL BUTCHER YOU, BRATS."

"I'm surrounded by idiots," Sasuke grumbled quietly.

I turned to wink at him over my shoulder. "Ah, no longer scared?"

Sasuke blinked in surprise, then looked down at his hands. "How could anyone be scared while you're spewing crap out of your mouth?"

"I didn't realize the Uchiha were capable of such crude language," I chortled, savoring how that made him glare hatefully at me. There was another loud explosion. "Now enough of this, let us watch the show!"

With rapt attention, I watched the battle between Zabuza and Kakashi grow more, and more destructive. They had easily destroyed a good portion of the trees, ground, and general area around them. Fortunately for me the mist was beginning to clear as Zabuza was starting to run low on his chakra. I could see Kakashi was beginning to gain the upperhand and just as Kakashi was about to deliver a fatal blow—

Senbon needles soared through the air and clipped either side of Zabuza's neck. The Kirkigakure missing nin tucked forward and passed out (presumably dead to all other onlookers).

Kakashi stepped towards the body, kunai in hand. He paused when Haku, in his ANBU disguise, appeared in between him and Zabuza. Haku bowed shallowly, and stiffly. "Thank you. I had been looking for a chance to eliminate Zabuza for a while now."

"You sound pretty," I sighed dreamily. "Are you going to take Zabuza away now?"

Haku nodded shortly. "Yes. His body belongs to Kirigakure. Thank you, once more, for your assistance."

"Wait a minute, who the hell are you? Why are you—"

"Quiet, Naruto," Kakashi ordered softly. "He's a hunter-nin—an ANBU sent from Kirigakure to hunt down Zabuza."

"But he's just a kid!"

"You will find in this world there are people younger than you, and stronger than I," Kakashi responded simply, then nodded briefly towards Haku.

"I bid you farewell, Konoha shinobi," Haku intoned, disappearing into the mist with Zabuza.

"I guess it's a good thing that ended when it did," Kakashi mumbled. I inched towards him.

"Why's that, Sensei?"

"Because I'm about to pass out," Kakashi confessed as he tucked forward and fell into my loving arms.

With a completely innocent smile on my face, I whispered into his ear, "I shall take care of you, my sweet."

There was a low groan in response.

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Using Naruto's clones, we carried Kakashi back to Tazuna's house. After Tazuna's daughter (Tsunami) gave us a makeshift room, I kicked the two boys out so I could work on Kakashi.

I rummaged through my backpack before I pulled out a medical textbook on how to treat chakra exhaustion. I read through the texts a few more times to make sure I understood what I was about to do before I began my work.

Chakra exhaustion was a strain on the chakra network, and occasionally on the tenketsus. There wasn't much an iryo-nin could do to treat it, as the best treatment was the natural replenishment of the patient's chakra.

Given our situation though, that would have been inadvisable.

I had used the technique once with Hinata with mixed results. Hinata understood that I wanted to become an iryo-nin and supported me as best she could (like the sweetie she was). When she ran low on chakra one evening, she asked if I wanted to try giving her my chakra.

I had technically succeeded in giving her some of my chakra, but the ratio to what I tried to give her to what she actually received was heavily imbalanced. There was another technique that allowed me to transfer chakra from a third party, but I had never had the chance to practice it and I didn't want to risk hurting Kakashi further.

The only risk in giving him my own chakra was chakra exhaustion for myself (something much more preferable than having our biggest means of defense out like a light).

Gently, I placed my hand over Kakashi's chest—the heart tenketsus were the biggest ones in the body—and called forth my chakra. Blue chakra covered my hand until I was able to pick out my elemental nature. The green chakra hummed quietly as I slowly began to guide it through Kakashi's clothes, skin, and muscles and into his tenketsu.

His tenketsu greedily sucked in what I could give, and I was surprised at how much chakra I was able to transfer. After using up about half my reserves, I pulled my hand back and did another diagnostic test.

'Sweet. He's no longer on the verge of death,' I thought happily. 'I'll take a chakra pill after tending to the boys and use whatever I have left to give Kakashi more chakra. That ought to be enough to allow him to wake up naturally and not be in any pain. He'll still feel shaky, but at least his pathways won't ache.'

I pulled the blankets up over Kakashi, and took out a coolant gel to rub on his forehead. Patients with frequent chakra exhaustion occasionally developed a fever. The gel should help keep him cool in case that happened.

Satisfied I had done what I could for my favorite teacher, I left the room.

I almost tripped on Naruto and Sasuke who were sitting right outside the door.

"He gonna be okay?" Naruto asked hesitantly.

"He'll be fine," I promised him. "Only chakra exhaustion. Let me heal up your guys' bruises before I finish with him though."

"I'm fine," Sasuke grunted.

"Either let me heal you, or I steal your underwear and sell it to your fangirls."

A vague look of horror crossed his face before the little avenger grudgingly allowed me to heal his bruised ribs. I once again sent praise to the Goggle Gods, Jashin, and Madara's Sexiness that no one had broken any bones.

I could heal technically, all parts of the body with the Shōsen. That didn't mean they were permanent fixes, or particularly good healings. Shōsen merely acted as an encouragement for natural regrowth of the body. Of course when using Shōsen you had to have an understanding of anatomy to make sure things regrew correctly. A reason why not everyone was trained to use it was because if applied sparingly, or without direction, things regrew as mutations inside the body—cancer. The kind of cancer that killed you off within hours of being grown.

Knowledge of how the body was supposed to work, so when using the Shōsen one could accurately guide the regrowth of cells, was paramount. And thanks to my eidetic memory and all my previous life's knowledge, I actually had that knowledge.

Okay, well, I had enough of that knowledge to use Shōsen. In the past week I made sure to become extremely intimate with the cardiovascular system, and the heart in particular.

So, technically, I could heal anything.

But I wouldn't, because I shouldn't. There were simply some injuries that were too risky with my novice knowledge to even attempt. Brain, for example. Reproductive system, hell, the entire nervous system and the majority of the tenketsus. Also, bones. Bones themselves weren't tricky to learn, so much as tricky to do. They required the most chakra to regrow properly. Healing a perfectly broken bone would take almost three-fourths of my chakra, whereas healing a sliced artery would be almost nothing.

Why bones were so chakra-intensive was a medical mystery at the moment.

Or at least for me, since I hadn't come across any specific explanation, yet.

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

With gentle hands, I wiped off the cooling gel from Kakashi's forehead and reapplied new coolant.

There was a subtle shift in the atmosphere, and I felt Kakashi tense underneath my hand before I was knocked into the wall, a kunai at my throat.

I beamed at Kakashi, despite the groggy ex-ANBU staring at me with eyes like a dead fish. "Kakashi-sensei!"

He blinked, life returning to his eye as he released me.

Ignoring the stinging in my shoulders, I continued to smile happily at my favorite teacher. "You were worried I was going to take advantage of you, weren't you? Don't worry, I wouldn't do that kind of thing! Not this early on in our relationship, at least."

Kakashi chuckled weakly, sitting back down in his bed with a wince. "Aa. Yeah. You okay?"

"I'm fine," I reassured him cheerfully. "I'm way more worried about you. I tried to transfer as much as my chakra to you as I could. I healed your bruises, too."

"Maa, thank you, Sakura-chan," Kakashi said, giving me his eye-crinkle-smile.

I squealed, burying my face with my hands and squirming with delight at the honorific. That was high praise from Kakashi, since he never added a chan to my name after I began making my half-ass passes at him.

Praise-whore.

Kakashi cocked his head at me. "You seem to enjoy praises from me."

"Immensely," I confessed, still riding the giddy high off his praise.

"If I consistently praise you, would stop making passes at me?"

Oh. Wow.

I froze, a frown on my face as I considered his question. "I-I don't know. I love them both so much."

"Food for thought, then, Sakura... chan," Kakashi whispered encouragingly.

I squealed again in utter delight. "Okay! I won't make any more physical advancements, okay? I promise! I can't stop the words from coming out at times, but I can stop with the booty grabs for a while."

"I'll take what I can at this point."

I reached over and affectionately patted the top of his head. "Is this okay though? Because I'm a very touchy-feely kind of person and I crave hugs like nobody's business."

Kakashi hm'd. "I will allow one physical appropriate contact per day outside of typical contact for our line of work."

Knowing that that was likely going to count as my only contact for the day, I savored the sensation of his outrageously soft hair for as long as I reasonably could before pulling back. "Do you use something special for your hair? My hair isn't anywhere near as soft as yours."

"Genetics, I'm afraid."

"I would have your babies just to carry on that beautiful hair lineage."

Kakashi stared at me, and I sheepishly looked away.

"Sorry, I have no filter," I apologized.

"I hadn't noticed."

I cocked my head. "Oh. Um. Kakashi-sensei?"

"Yes?"

"Zabuza is definitely still alive."

"I figured as much."

"Okay. Good. Glad we're on the same page, then. You want to tell the others, or shall I?"

Kakashi made a hm sound. "Why don't you tell them, and when you're done tell Naruto and Sasuke to meet me outside for some training."

I bowed to him. "Your wish is my command."

"Really?"

"No. But I will do this for you."

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

"We're ready to begin training," Kakashi began, leaning on a crutch. The four of us stood in the middle of a small clearing nearby Tazuna's house in the early morning. "What I'm going to teach you is a chakra control technique, and is essential for every shinobi and kunoichi.

"We already know how to use chakra," Naruto complained. "Can't you teach us something cool for once?"

"Nope," Kakashi said cheerfully. "You have to learn this first before I even think about teaching you any 'cool' techniques."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "Fine. If we master this quickly will you teach us something useful, then?"

"This is useful. You're going to climb a tree."

"Climb a—" Naruto stopped as Kakashi began to walk vertically up a tree. "Wow!"

"Uh," I hesitantly began. "Kakashi-sensei I already know—"

Kakashi waved his hand. "I figured as much, given you can already perform the Shōsen, but Naruto and Sasuke don't. Wouldn't you say this is a valuable skill?"

"Very much so," I agreed, then turned towards the boys. "All you have to do is channel chakra into your feet and stick onto any flat surface."

"Essentially correct," Kakashi agreed.

Naruto cheered. "Alright! I'll reach the top in the first try."

Sasuke smirked. "Not in a million years, dead last."

He tossed down two kunai that landed at their feet. "Use that knife to mark where you are able to climb up with your current ability. Then try to make a new mark above that mark. You guys aren't good enough to climb by walking so run to give yourself a good head start. Got it?"

Naruto grabbed his kunai and grinned. "This is going to be too easy."

Naruto then rushed forward, Sasuke following closely behind. I decided to ignore them, instead turning to Kakashi.

"And before you ask, I already know water-walking, too," I told him. "I mean, like, I can't fight on water, but I can walk on it and whatnot. I was actually hoping I could get your permission for a different sort of training."

Kakashi tilted his head. "What do you have in mind?"

"I was wondering if, maybe, hopefully, pretty please, if I could go into town and offer my medical services to the local," I pleaded.

Kakashi chuckled. "As long as they understand you are not certified, I don't see why not."

I beamed. "Yes! You are the best sensei ever."

Kakashi rubbed sheepishly at the back of his head. "I don't know about that. Make sure you're back before it gets dark out, okay?"

"Okay!" I chirped, already turning on my heel and practically sprinting off.

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

The town of Waves was as depressing and sullen as anyone would think it would be under an idiotic tyrant. If I had the know-how, I would have just gone on and killed Gato myself while Zabuza was out of commission. Save us all a headache.

But, I didn't have the know-how, and I understood the importance of the lessons the mission had to impart on Naruto and Sasuke.

I looked around, seeking out the first injured or sickly person I could find. I made sure to have my backpack on hand, so I could consult the textbooks if I came across anything tricky.

My eyes settled on a group of dirty, ragged children at the corner of the street. A grin stretched across my face and I called out to them, "Hey, kiddos. Want some free candy?"

Oh. My. Madara's. Sexiness.

The way their faces lit up like fireworks, made me giggle in amusement. They rushed over to me, as I pulled out the candy and kneeled before them. Already, I could see how malnourished, bruised, and battered they were.

'Hello, practice.'

EXTRA:

"So," I began, wiggling my eyebrows at Kakashi. "During that fight with Zabuza, how'd I do?"

Kakashi looked up from his book, and blinked owlishly at me. "What?"

"I totally threw him off his game by making him flustered! You're welcome by the way."

Kakashi seemed genuinely surprised. "You mean you did that on purpose?"

"Yes," I lied. "I totally did not think up that reason five minutes ago for the hopes that you would praise me."

Kakashi shook his head, chuckling. "I see. Good job, Sakura-chan."

I squealed.

Feel shame, you praise-whore.

'Never.'

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

*Insert Mia and Sakura dancing around like crazy to some bootylicious song while Nao watches utterly uncomfortable, and Miwako consoles Kurama of Fluff he won't get spanked again*

Reviews inspire me to write apparently. And I'm honestly having so much writing this. It's really making me laugh :)

Reviews are love.

Answer: Tobi would be my bodyguard because he can take a joke and Maddie-hime can't. Gon is after us because he's a cutie patootie and he needs to admit he loves Killua, and I totes stole his fishing rod.

Question: What is your bootylicious song?