CHAPTER FIFTEEN
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INEJ GHAFA WAS MANY THINGS. A coward was none of those. She had been with Kaz for years, watching over him, over Kira, over Jesper. The Wraith was his most loyal investment, his friend, even if he didn't much like to admit it. Kaz would hate to see her leave, especially when Kira's eyes hadn't opened yet. 

She hadn't been asleep for long, and even if she had woken up Kaz would be none the wiser. He hadn't stepped foot inside the barn since he left. He couldn't bear to see her so still, void of her usual light. Inej leaving seemed to her acceptance that Kira wouldn't wake up.  It was her confirming that she didn't trust him, to get her out of the Menagerie. Inej leaving was the start of the end. 

Their crew would be down to an unconscious Whisperer, a sharpshooter, and himself. Kaz would have to deal with Jesper on his own, on top of his sanity slipping away with each moment that Kira didn't wake up.

"Are you hungry? Or just saying goodbye?" Kaz asked, glancing over his shoulder as Inej approached him where he sat in front of a fire and was roasting dinner.

Inej didn't say anything for a few moments, her brown eyes, so dark they almost looked black, looking down at him with some sort of understanding that was entirely unwelcome. Then she reached for him and handed him his cane that had been broken somewhen during the chaos of the prior days. "Jesper fixed your cane."

Kaz grabbed it, put it on the ground, and nodded. "So, you are leaving."

"That's it?" whispered Inej. "After everything, there's nothing else you want to say to me?"

"What else is there?" asked Kaz, not taking his eyes off the fire, burning bright through the darkness of the night.

Inej didn't leave though. She stood there, not taking one step away from him. Kaz heard her sigh loudly, and he could picture her shaking her head at him. "The color is returning to her face, Kaz. Kira will wake up soon. I'm sure of it."

His eyes snapped up to meet hers, and he felt something constrict in his chest, something that felt a lot like relief. He didn't speak for a few moments and then nodded. Inej gave him a tight smile and turned to leave, only to stop when he called after her. "You were right."

Inej's eyebrow raised ever so slightly as she turned to him again. "About what?"

His jaw clenched but he didn't stay silent. "The Sun Summoner. You were right. She's real."

He watched as Inej walked over to him again and sat down on a log around the fire. Listening to the rare occasion in which he admitted he was wrong. Kira's injuries were really messing with his mind.

"I played it over and over in my head. None of it's a trick. The light was hers."

"So, what?" asked Inej, looking at him skeptically. "Kaz Brekker finally believes in Saints?"

The corner of his lip tugged up into a small smirk. One Saint. One blood-stained Saint born from chaos and light. "Hardly."

"But you just said that—"

"I said Alina Starkov is a Grisha with the power to manipulate light. She's a girl with a gift, not some savior of lore."

"Fine. Kaz, if not Saints, what do you believe in?"

Kaz's eyes averted from hers and he looked back into the fire. "Myself..."

"Why'd I even ask?"

"Kira," he added lowly, and when he looked back up at Inej, her eyes had softened, and a small smile was painted on her lips. "And you, and Jesper. My Crows."

"Because we flock to your bidding? Like the animals of vengeance, you named us after?"

"Crows don't just remember the faces of people who wronged them," said Kaz. "They also remember those who were kind. They tell each other who to look after and who to watch out for. Only one Saint has ever watched over me. And she's dying inside that barn. Otherwise, no other Saints have ever watched out over me. Not like you have."

Inej breathed in deeply, as she looked into the distance, and clutched the piece of fabric that was her necklace. She took a few moments before she looked back at him. "Kira will wake up, Kaz."

"I know."

"She'll wake up," said Inej, more fiercely and Kaz nodded.

"I know."

They fell into silence, only the crackling of the fire to be heard. Kaz knew Kira would wake up. He had to know that, otherwise... Otherwise, it would be Jordie all over again. She would be another ghost whispering in his ear, another demon drowning his soul. Kaz didn't need nor want forgiveness or redemption for his sins, but if Kira died... No one else in the world would look at him as she did. She looked at him like she saw him. All his crimes, all his wrong-doings, all the blood staining his body because it surely didn't stop at his hands, all of it, and she smiled brightly at the monster he created. She loved him. Him, Dirtyhands. Him, the Bastard of the Barrel. Him, Kaz Brekker. Him, Kaz Rietveld. And that thought was frightening 

"I can't go back to the Menagerie," Inej broke the silence and Kaz's eyes snapped up to meet hers.

"You won't."

"Kira's waking up!" Jesper's voice was heard from beside her and in one-second Inej and Kaz had jumped to their feet. "We'll be able to leave by dawn."

Kira's eyes snapped open a few minutes later as they stood around her inside the barn, the light from the candles around her lighting up the green flecks in her eyes. And a weight lifted off Kaz's shoulder's as she grimaced at them. "I hope you haven't been staring at me like that all night," she croaked, before coughing a few times and clearing her throat.

Jesper let out a loud laugh and Inej shook her head in amusement. Kaz stood still, not taking his eyes off her.

"You gave us quite a fright, your highness," said Jesper. "You looked lovely as a corpse, though."

"Shut up, Jesper," snapped Kaz. Jesper raised his arms in surrender.

"How do you feel?" Inej asked as she helped Kira into a sitting position.

Kira's eyes glanced up at Kaz, giving him a small smile before she turned to Inej again with a frown. "I feel fine. Ashamed at most. I gave Kaz a pretty nice deathbed speech and now I'm alive to have him hold it over my life forever."

Kaz rolled his eyes. "Glad to have you back, Whisperer. Now, how long before you can travel?"

With that Kira burst into laughter, and the smile she gave him was so bright Kaz would die to have her smile at him like that again. 

•••

"How many are there?"

"Two," answered Kaz as the four of them lay on the ground behind an abandoned wagon. The three of them had tried to convince Kira to stay back at the tavern in Kribirsk but she had refused, saying she was one hundred percent healed. Kaz chose to believe her, even if when she stood up it was clear she felt faint.

The train they had crossed the fold in was now under surveillance by two soldiers of the first army. "At some point, one of them will have to go tell a superior what they found," said Kaz. "We'll go in then."

"Not to be that person, Kaz," said Jesper, "but are you sure you can drive that thing?"

Kira let out a low chuckle from his right and Kaz glared at her. "Yes. On the way to Kribirsk, while you were busy hugging bait—"

"Milo," both Jesper and Kira corrected him at the same time.

"The goat's name was Milo," added Jesper.

"—I was memorizing Arken's timings," said Kaz. Which was true. But he was also hoping Kira would yield the metal box to help them get by faster—Jesper was in no way in enough control over his abilities like Kira. 

"Not to gang up on you, but Jes has a point," Inej said hesitantly. "Arken's system was complicated and the ride was chaotic. No one would blame you for missing a count."

"Jes?" was Kaz's answer.

"Saints, Brekker," Kira said with a sigh just as Jesper added swiftly, "It's Suli, for friendship."

"No, it's not," Inej and Kira replied at the same time and Kaz had the urge to roll his eyes.

"Trust me," he said. "Arken and I think alike."

He had just finished talking when the train exploded and Kira burst into a fit of giggles right about this moment Kaz was starting to wish she remained asleep. He bowed his head down in annoyance and despair for their lost ride through the Fold.

"Too soon to appreciate the irony, am I right?" asked Jesper.

"Never," Kira replied as she calmed down from her laughter. She then gave Kaz an amused smile as if she was fighting back another wave of laughter. "We'll find another way, Dirtyhands. When do we not?"

"I'm thoroughly regretting saving you," Kaz muttered under his breath.

Kira's grin widened, "You have a strange way of flirting, did you know that?"

 •••

"The skiff is still here," Kira said as she met the three of them, in the rooms she'd convinced the tavern owner to lend them. "Travelers downstairs are complaining, a lot. They were due to cross this morning but—"

"Orders from the Black General," interrupted Kaz. "He plans to cross on it tomorrow."

"The general?" asked Jesper. "Is that the same general who tried to... Oh, yeah, kill us all. That one?"

"He has the Sun Summoner," said Kaz as Kira sat down on top of the table in front of him, fidgeting with the ring on her finger like she did when she was worried. Kaz couldn't blame her. It would be her third time crossing the Fold. Any sane man would be trembling in his boots.

"Was this your plan all along?" Inej asked, looking at him with narrowed eyes. "To have the general get her back so you can take her again?"

"My plan is to get us across the Fold." He glanced up at Kira before tearing his gaze away from the side profile of her face. "We aren't prepared for another fight."

"So you're not going to take another run at Alina?" Inej pressed. "And you're really willing to let a million kruge go?"

"Kaz knows we can't do it without you," Kira replied.

"Been saying that since day one," Jesper added.

Kaz reluctantly nodded. With Kira being hurt, even if she refused to admit it, they would never be able to go on with the job. Especially without Inej. Besides her, they were not a group exactly known for subtlety. They reigned over wreaking havoc, not coddling the silence. "And you've made your position perfectly clear," Kaz spoke up.

"So all you want is to cross the Fold?"

"Once we land in Novo-Kribirsk, it's your choice what you do next." Kaz nodded.

"Okay," Inej replied and Kira stood up from the table wrapping one arm around the Wraith.

"Isn't it nice to face Death as a family?" she asked them and that seemed to snap Jesper back into reality.

"Hang on. Are we talking about boarding a skiff with people who will recognize us? People who don't like us much?" he asked with a grimace.

Kaz stood up, "We'll have to blend in. Who else was on that skiff?"

"Some people from the winter fete," Inej replied and Kira nodded. "Dignitaries from Kerch and Novyi Zem on their way back home."

"Now they're audience to one more light show," Kaz muttered, and then he looked up at Jesper, an idea brewing in his mind. "Jesper, how did you enjoy playing a Zemeni guard?"

And so his plan was set into motion. They managed to intercept one of the Zemeni dignitaries and his men, stealing their clothes and documents whilst Kira went to steal a dress for herself. She would have to pass by the dignitary's newly acquired Ravkan wife, who, unfortunately, had forgotten her documents.

"You look fine," Inej said as Jesper stepped away from the mirror.

"Oh, I look more than fine." He let out a laugh.

"I made some edits to their papers," Kaz said handing out the papers as Kira walked back into the room wearing an emerald green dress. He cleared his throat. "Should be enough to get us through the checkpoint and onto the skiff."

Jesper leaned down to see his document and frowned. "Huh? No one is ever going to believe I'm that old."

"You tell yourself that," said Kaz before turning to Kira. "Are you sure you can manage without the documents?"

She didn't bother to answer his question and merely rolled her eyes. And that was the best answer he could've asked for. Perhaps, her arrogance was a bit much, but when had she ever failed to persuade a man to her bidding?

•••

Jesper handed the documents to the man sitting at the checkpoint. His arm was wrapped around Kira's waist and Kaz was scowling at the sight.

"I know. I look amazing for my age," Jesper said with a smug smile.

"Well, I thought you looked older," the man replied before his eyes fell on Kira, who had her hair tucked away by a huge hat, with flowers decorating it. "Ma'am, I'll need to see your documents."

"I'm afraid that won't be possible," Kira replied, making her voice sound disappointed. "My father has them. We still haven't told him about our..." Her voice faded away and she put on a hesitant smile as she held up a hand where on her finger laid a fake wedding band. "But you won't rip apart a marriage, will you? This trip, across the Fold..." 

Kira's voice cracked and she started breathing heavily before looking up at Jesper with despair in her eyes. The latter gave him a reassuring smile before reaching over to wipe a tear that had fallen on her cheek by command.

The man at the checkpoint cleared his throat. "It's fine ma'am. You're safe to go on."

"Oh, thank you," Kira said with a huge smile and Jesper tipped his hat. 

Kaz and Inej followed after them, but the four of them stopped when the whispering around them grew louder and they turned to see the Darkling and Alina Starkov coming out of a tent. Kaz's jaw clenched and he looked over at the other three, more specifically Inej.

She nodded. "I know. Not until Novo-Kribirsk."

With that, they turned on their heels and boarded the skiff. Placing themselves in a reclused corner away from the masses. The General and his Summoner were soon to board too, and they prepared themselves to cross the darkness before them.

"Good news? It's just as terrifying as I remember," said Jesper.

"Except this time we're going in completely exposed," added Inej.

"If I'm meant to die today," Jesper muttered as growling was heard from the inside of the Fold, "and either of you three survives, make sure I have an open casket."

Kira let out a humorless low chuckle, her body tense as she stood beside Kaz. He took a deep breath before wrapping his finger around one of her gloved ones. The fabric of his gloves and hers was enough to keep the monsters at bay, that and the look of warmth on Kira's face as she looked up at him with parted lips at the small amount of contact between them. She was looking at him as if he had kissed her. And the worst part was that he wanted to and yet couldn't. Not without throwing himself back into the frigid water, not without seeing her eyes void of life as she became yet another body he had to escape from. So he kept what he could manage and that was their fingers interlocked through layers of fabric. 

He tore his gaze away from her and looked over at their impending doom. "No one's dying today. No mourners..."

"No funerals."

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