008 » to inhale and exhale.
—
He doesn't really need to breathe anymore, but he does it anyway.
Taehyung's been dead for a while now. He's gotten used to not hearing his heart beat in his ears after long runs at dawn, and not bleeding when he scrapes his knee, but for a very unknown and peculiar reason, he hasn't stopped breathing yet.
Not that he wanted to challenge the laws of nature or that he was searching for spiritual fulfillment by doing it; He was just inhaling and exhaling as usual. It was a habit of life.
But he was dead, so why did do it anyway? Well, to be fair, he wasn't exactly dead; just gone in the physical sense, not on Earth. He still looked the same — had the same arms, same hair, the same lungs.
So he breathed.
Not to feel alive again, but because he liked the way the clear blue skies felt when he pulled them in through his nose. He definitely didn't want to feel alive again. This was much better.
Wherever he was, it was always beautiful. The world kind of resembled a big campus, or at times a theme park, or a resort, or a beachside neighborhood. To be honest, he had no clue what to call it. To be honest, he didn't care.
Taehyung wasn't always big on sharing, but this place was his heaven and the heaven of others. He shared it with a couple thousand people, most of which he didn't talk to. It was as big as a city, with dorms for each soul to live in and customize to their heart's content. But he didn't like being inside too much anymore.
He liked to roam a lot since his passing, since he only ever got the chance to see the slums when his heart was still beating. Actually beating, at least.
In Guryong the streets were buzzing with human bodies and busy souls and notorious crimes. Here the streets bursted with verdurous life, swaying in the passing breeze only to fall still again. Taehyung walked leisurely and lightly through the sunlight, his blue-green aviators entangled atop his hair. He heard the distant slap of waves, the click of the soles of his sandal against his heel as he moved, and his sandals against the pavement.
"Ah," The boy murmured to himself, "I guess I'm the only one up in this heaven."
Because, to be fair, it was only eight o' clock in the morning. The rising sun had just settled into its bed on plush clouds above. Taehyung crossed under another archway of flora, ducking low so it wouldn't hit his head. A zephyr sped on by, slapping the fabric of his white jersey and shorts against his skin. And when it was gone, he was left all alone again. By himself, completely.
He had a few friends, but they didn't really want to take walks with him. The few friends he had made were more about partying and having fun, not about realizing what they hadn't taken the time to while they were alive. And Taehyung realized something he had been missing all along.
This, was the most beautiful moment in life.
He came upon the intersection of two roads. Taehyung hadn't really the slightest clue where his feet were taking him, and told himself he would find his way back home eventually, because he always did. Except he often got himself lost because of his impulsive nature, and depended on the kindness of strangers and locals to guide him back to his dorm.
He wasn't expecting to bump into a little girl.
Literally.
She wore a small lavender dress and periwinkle sandals, had hair clipped into a short bob around her big head. Pretty as her raven hair and pink lips were, her narrow eyes gleamed with tears under the light of day. She stopped at the center of the intersection and wiped her face, struggling to catch her breath after what looked to be ounces and ounces of tears. She cried as she was — like a child. And now, with a thumb in her mouth and tears on her cheeks, she looked up at Taehyung.
"Hey," he stopped, squatting down to her level, "What are you doing out here by yourself?"
"Dunno..." She sniffled, looking around, "Where is daddy?"
"Daddy?" Taehyung asked. The girl nodded, keeping her thumb in her mouth for only so long before her lips began to tremble, and her eyes started to redden, and she bawled again.
"Look, don't cry." Taehyung panicked, "I—um, well. Hey, if you stop crying—"
Her cries got louder. Taehyung's eyes widened, and he gulped, hoping she wouldn't draw any of the residents out of their homes. Not that they would find the scene suspect or anything, since everyone who was in heaven had to be free of fault or sin, but he just genuinely hoped they weren't waking anyone up.
With his teeth sunken into his lip, he asked, "Do you want a piggy back ride?"
Even louder.
He plucked her off the feet like one pulls a tulip from a garden, rubbing her back in small circles as he bobbed up and down to console the unknown child in his arms.
And after a while, her cries died down. The sun burned over them, and he was quite hot from holding her, but dared not put her down.
"Relax, relax, huh? We'll find daddy." He let out an exasperated breath. Taehyung turned in circles many times looking down each block on the intersection for any signs of life. He even looked down at her, her cheek pressed against his left shoulder beneath a bright and glowing sun. She hiccuped a couple times and muttered, "Otay.."
Taehyung put her on her feet again, pausing hesitantly as he did for fear that she would fall into her fit again. Thankfully, however, she did not.
"What's your name?" Taehyung remained squatted at her level, tilting his head with a welcoming smile. The girl was acquiescent in believing it, yet she nodded along,
"Kanha."
"Kanha... " He glanced down at the jelly sandals on her tiny feet, "Kanha is a pretty name."
The breeze rustled the peony bushes in the wind.
He breathed in.
He breathed out.
"Do you like flowers, Kanha?" Taehyung smiled.
"Mhm." The girl nodded, rubbing her reddened eyes. Taehyung seized the opportunity, reaching behind her ear and pulling a carnation out of the depths of her silky hair.
"Whoa whoa whoa!" The girl beamed, taking the flower into her hands, "Das madjic!"
"Yeah, magic." He laughed, observing her as Kanha put the red blossom in her hair, tucked just over her ear. She smiled happily now, despite the blush still residing in her full cheeks. Her teeth, like her crinkled dimples, made her look mischievous with their rounded shape and childish gaps between.
Presently, she tucked her smile away from him again to ask, "What is your name?"
"Tae Tae."
"Tae Tae, can you please do more flowers?"
He ruffled her hair, and she laughed, shaking her head. It was funny to him just how much a child's laughter could lift a heavy heart — even more so that no girl ever made him smile like Kanha could, the way he was now. He asked, "Can you promise me that you won't cry any more?"
"Otay..." She agreed, fixing the carnation in her hair, "Just make more flowers!"
Taehyung stood up again, rolling the numerous bracelets and rubber bands up on his arms as he prepared, "Which kind do you like? Daisies, roses, lilies, orch—"
"Pink ones! I like pink ones!"
He smiled and complied.
Laying his hands down against the black top road, Taehyung exhaled, tracing a curving line as his feet traveled backwards down the road with little Kanha following after them.
Along each swirl, the asphalt split so deep until there was nothing but pure earth beneath. And between each crack a flower began to bloom. Every shade of pink, from beautiful blush peonies to electric hibiscuses, sprouted up from the asphalt before Kanha's very eyes. Taehyung kept moving backwards, heart skipping a beat every time the girl would look at him with awe in her eyes. She trotted heavily on her two chubby toddler's legs, so excited at the wonders Taehyung created with only his palms and fingertips.
She tried to pick every flower she possibly could, and Taehyung noticed she had a thing for the begonias. There were about seven of them squeezed between her small fist, and she still wanted more. But the more she picked, the more she wanted Taehyung to make. Not that he minded, though.
It was their garden.
And they may have met only minutes ago, they may not have had much in common, but that was okay. Because their souls were like constellations — prismatic and distant, yet connected nonetheless. Taehyung saw stars in her eyes when she smiled at him. He was glad to have been the one to cheer her up. Except now she was beginning to sniffle and her cheeks were getting red again, but not in the crying way.
It's just that she was sneezing so much all of a sudden, and as she plucked another cosmo blossom from the ground, she did again. Taehyung furrowed his brows, lifting his hands from the ground and dusting them on his shorts. Then, very cheekily and once again, the boy smiled.
"You silly girl," He set his hands on his hips, "how come you didn't tell me flowers make you sneeze?"
"Because then," achoo! "you don't," achoo! "make anymore flowers."a...choo!
The sky seemed bluer than blue. A wind danced past them, her lavender dress swimming through the air like textile liquid, and the peony bushes rustled. Taehyung sighed.
"Hm, well how about—"
"Daddy!"
Kanha was running past him now, happy squeals emanating past her pink lips as she returned to the lanky man at the end of Telegraph Avenue. She became smaller and smaller in Taehyung's perspective. The sun disappeared behind the clouds. He felt a shiver coil up his spine.
"Don't trip now, Kani." The man, with an undercut hued to match her sundress, warned.
Then his droopy eyes flickered to Taehyung.
A breeze followed. He took his aviators out of his hair and settled them in their proper place over his nose bridge. The world looked ambient now, calm. No one moved. They stared at each other awhile.
And he could see Kanha slipping her baby hand into her father's. They were getting bigger on the horizon. They were walking toward him.
Nervous, he stuck his hands in the depths of his pockets and rocked from heel to toe and toe to heel, although he wasn't quite sure why. But he was sure that if he had a working heart it would be racing right now.
Because Kanha was in front of him now, right in front of him with her dad. He wasn't very social and he wasn't very good at meeting people. So when Kanha stopped at his feet, and when the two men craned their necks to look at her mischievous little grin, and when she let out another little sneeze, Taehyung could do nothing but show her his smile.
"Look, this is my friend, Tae Tae. He helped me find you. And he has madjic!" She tugged eagerly on her new friend's fingers, "Show dad you madjic, Tae!"
The purple haired man was looking right at Taehyung, or rather observing him expectantly. He licked his lips and shifted, pulling his sunglasses back into his hair so he could see better. Under her father's gaze, he felt obligated to show some of his magic.
The boy cleared his throat and opened his palm slowly, until in its very center appeared a flowering azalea; An azalea, unfolding its petals to Kanha and her father. Taehyung leaned down to give it to the little one, but a breeze carried it away. He watched as it ran free into the clouds and finally, became one with the wind and sky.
His lungs pulled in clear blue.
"It's so cool..." Kanha whispered. She smiled and turned back to her father with a large smile that made her droopy eyes crinkle shut. But the more she looked, the more her grin faded.
He was giving her a stern look, which concerned Taehyung, who was still standing cautiously before them both. The boy could feel her larger than life personality retreating back into its small body.
She put her thumb in her mouth and looked up through her lashes, begging in a soft voice, "Pease don't yell at me, daddy."
He stared at her for a while longer, then broke into a cheesy grin, "Why would I yell?"
Her father smiled, squatting down to her level like Taehyung had done only minutes ago.
"I was just afraid that you would get yourself into trouble again. Please stop going away and disappearing like that, it really makes me scared." He spoke with dimples, ruffling her hair, "From now on when we come back here, you're holding my hand at all times."
He stretched his hand out to her. She slowly took it.
"Otay. I'm sorry."
And again, he was looking at Taehyung.
"Thank you so much for watching her. She does this all the time, always comes back but... " He shook his head, smiling politely, "I can't help but get a little scared when she does."
"It's nothing." Taehyung shrugged. The man nodded and looked down at his little girl, "Now come on, let's go back to Ozzy's and get some belgian waffles, huh?"
"Yummy! Yay!!" Kanha chimed, completely ignoring her dad's new rule as she got a headstart down the road. Her father could only laugh as he followed her in slow strides, nodding his head in her direction.
"Come on, Taehyung."
"Huh?"
He tucked his hands in his pockets, "Come with us. I'm sure you're starving this early in the day. We gotta make it to the diner before breakfast ends."
"Yeah, come with us, Tae Tae. Bweakfast is better with a friend!" Kanha yelled back at him, hands cupped around her pink lips. Both men laughed.
"O-Okay." Taehyung stammered his way into a surprised grin,"I guess I can come."
Kanha's father waited patiently for Taehyung to catch up before the two resumed their walking together, the curious toddler only meters ahead of them and in perfect view. Taehyung tucked his hands in his pockets and looked down at his sandals while they strolled along.
He wasn't used to feeling like their were butterflies fluttering in his stomach, and he couldn't help being so excited to meet someone new. He felt numb around his old friends, but now, looking at Kanha skipping and the sun shining and the low top white converse walking alongside his sandals, he didn't have to feel that way anymore.
He wouldn't have to feel that way ever again.
"I'm Namjoon."
"Taehyung."
"So, um, can you show me how to do that flower thing? I gotta learn it so I can show off for Kanha."
"Oh, definitely! You just gotta will it to happen."
"Will it?"
"Yeah, will it. Believe in it enough, and it will happen."
"I know what will means, idiot. I don't know how to do it."
"Listen, I don't need you to show you how to do this. I can always--"
"No, no, no! I'm sorry. Please show me?"
"Okay. For starters, put your hands like this. Keep 'em close.... Okay, now dream."
"Like-- Like this?"
"Yeah, like that. Just make sure you make them a little pinker next time, Namjoon."
"Hmm, Kanha loves the pink ones."
"Yeah, definitely the pink ones."
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