Trigger Warning: Mentions of depression, abuse, PTSD, injury

"Can we talk?" 

Startled, Remington snapped his head up. He wasn't aware of anyone being close to him, but when he lifted his eyes, he found Sebastian sitting on ground a few metres from where he was, under a tree. He had gone for a walk earlier that morning since the weather was nice and he didn't want to disrupt Andy, who was busy writing lyrics at the piano, and had decided to sit in the shade for a while before it got busier. 

Sebastian, noticing his sudden unease, frowned. "Please?" He asked. He didn't sound mean like he did last time, just hopeful. 

Remington nodded unsurely. It wasn't like he could say no, even if he wanted to. 

"Me and Em talked yesterday." 

Remington waited for him to continue. 

"I realise I might have been a little...unfair. I guess I didn't really let myself think about everything that's happened. Everything with, uh, with Holly, I mean. I kinda just tried to move on like it never happened, but I know that's not realistic, and I'm sorry." 

"It's fine," Remington said. 

"Look, I know you're not in the right mindset to focus on the band and I'm sorry I didn't realise sooner. It was shitty of me to make you come in like nothing happened." 

"It's fine." 

"I just get worried, you know? The band is my life. It's our life. I got worried that because you had other, more important things to give your attention to, that suddenly you'd forget all about it and we'd make no progress. You understand, don't you?" 

Remington nodded. "Of course," he said. There was more he wanted to say, but he didn't dare. This was the first hint of kindness he had felt from his brother since Holly's arrest, he couldn't push his luck. 

Relief was present on Sebastian's face, and he went on. "I can see you're happy staying with Andy, too, so sorry for being such a dick to him. I'm not saying I agree with everything that man has done, because he's done some, uh, some questionable things, but I'm sure you're aware of that. You did date him, after all. But listen, as much as he's doing for you, I still don't think he's that good for you. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the help he's provided and that he's opened his house to you, but he's made bad decisions before and he's publicly known for having a sex tape with a man he didn't know. You don't really want to be associated with someone like that, do you?" 

There it is. You can't help yourself, can you? Always finding something wrong with him, no matter how perfect they might be. There's no pleasing some people. "I don't know," Remington said. It was true, he didn't know. Andy had helped him when he needed it most and had shown no signs of having ulterior motives, but it was true they had dated before, and Andy had done some questionable things, drinking until he passed out just being one of them. Remington supposed he was too young and too in love back then to see how serious some of it was. 

"Just think about it, okay? And like I said, it's not that I'm not really grateful for everything he's doing, because I am, and I'm sorry for being so rude to him when I did nothing to help. I'm sorry." 

"It's okay." 

"But please, Rem, don't fall back into a relationship with him, at least not until you've properly considered it, because as kind and gentle as he can be, you and I both know of the trouble he's gotten into because of his, well, I don't want to say issues, but..." 

He was right. Remington didn't want to admit it after everything he'd said before, but he was right. Andy had issues. He had issues with drinking, issues with drug use in the past, issues with anger, issues with most things. He wasn't perfect, but he was also the only one to care. That had to count for something. "Listen, Sebastian," he begun. The breeze was warm on his skin. "I get it. I know he's done things, and I don't like everything about his past either. But listen, he literally just saved my life and now he's letting me live in his house for free. You have to give him credit for that." 

"And I am, believe me. I'm going to apologise to him later, and I'll explain all this to him, but I just want to tell you where I stand because, sometimes, it's good to have multiple views in order to make the best decision. And I know you're an adult and if you want to be with him, I can't and won't stop you, but all I'm saying is that if you're not sure, just be careful. You're clearly not in the best place right now and the last thing I want is for you to get more hurt because he thought he could help more than he actually can. He's only human, he's not perfect. He's been thrown off stages in the past, we've both seen it. He was held in a cell over-night for vandalism. He's done shit, Remington. And I understand completely why you're so fond of him, and that's okay, I would be too if I was in your shoes, but please don't forget about everything else because of this one thing." 

"We've all made mistakes," Remington said, though calmly. He wasn't upset with his brother as he had been previously, more frustrated than anything else. "I know I have. We all have. But I know what you mean and I understand. He's not perfect, and he's not blameless, but he cares and he doesn't stop caring, Sebastian. He's never stopped caring. Even after we broke up, he didn't stop. He shared our music with his fans when we released new songs, he commented on the band's posts, he always cared. And I know he's done bad things and I'm not trying to say he hasn't, I'm just saying that he's one of the only people who has always cared, even when we weren't together."

"I know." 

"You saw how quick he was to help me when he found out what she was doing. I know he went to your house asking for my address, I know he did. He dumped his boyfriend because I was scared of him. Sebastian, he cares. And I'm sorry that he's done bad things and I'm sorry that you don't like him, but he cares and I need people who care. Unconditional care, Sebastian." 

"We all care, Remington." 

"Do you remember when I was crying that time in the studio, like three months ago, and you asked what was wrong?" 

"Yeah." 

"And I said I was hurt. You didn't even ask how, or why, or where. You just offered some paracetamol and a glass of water. Do you know how awful that was for me, Sebastian? I was trying to tell you and you just...ignored me." 

Sebastian poked at the ground. 

"And you know when I went to the studio to record the song with Black Veil? And Andy noticed I was bleeding. You know what he did? He took me to the bathroom, he asked what was wrong, and he helped me. He was kind and gentle, and I trusted him, Sebastian, so I told him. That's why I told him first, and not you. Because I tried to tell you, and all you did was offer me painkillers. I didn't even try and tell Andy, but he noticed, he helped, so I told him. So I understand why you don't like him and that's fine, but for God's sake, don't act like you've done everything you could to help. You're my brother. You see me everyday, and you were too busy with yourself and Larisa and your dog to notice that I was fucking dying. It took Andy ten minutes seeing me after not seeing me for years, and he knew. Because he cared. And you, Sebastian...You don't." 

Remington stood up and brushed his clothes off, shook his head, and begun the walk back to Andy's house.