SHAWN MENDES
ᴛᴡᴏ ʏᴇᴀʀs ʟᴀᴛᴇʀ
—

Serenity and I where waiting patiently for the doctor to call our name. Lately I've been tired and I had no idea how or why, plus I caught the flu while coming home yesterday.

"Was Matteo happy to go back to school?" I queried, asking about my little boy who was born 3 years ago.

Ren chuckled. "Very, boy was excited to see his girlfriend."

"A girlfriend? Since when?" I exclaimed. "He's only three!"

"Oh, come on! It's nothing, they're just playing to some games with each other." She replied. "Are you feeling any better?"

I shrugged holding my coffee. "I don't really know, to be honest." I sighed.

"I just hope it's nothing bad." She whispered kissing my cheek.

I smiled. "Yeah." I replied quickly.

The doctor soon called our name, both of us stood up and followed him in the office. Never liked this type of place, it's so dead and why the paint is always that type of color. Serenity grabbed my hand gently as we walked in. The doctor invited us to sit down and smiled at us.

"How can I help you?" He asked.

I cleared my throat. "I've been sick since yesterday and I don't really know what I have." I told him.

He hummed, writing it down. "What symptoms do you have?"

"He's really tired lately and he apparently he caught cold yesterday night so he's coughing and have fever." Said Serenity before I could talk. "But he's always coughing lately."

"No, I'm not." I replied. "Am I?" Ren nodded her head as I frowned.

The doctor nodded his head. "Do you mind if we do some tests?" He asked me.

I shook my head. "No, of course." The doctor left the room, leaving me and Ren alone. "Why would you say that I cough a lot lately?"

"Because it's true, you don't even notice." She told me. "But, you do cough a lot and I want to be sure that you don't have something bad."

I hummed. "What if I do?" I queried.

She looked down at her hands, playing with her wedding ring. "Well, we will do everything to keep you healthy and yeah. I won't let you go that easily." She murmured.

A nurse came back in the office and quickly explained that we were going to do an imagine test, an x-ray imagine of my lungs to be sure nothing was there.

"So when you walk in, on your right you'll have a room so you can change and, when you're done walk in the X-ray alright? The doctor will be here the whole time guiding you and, you ma'am will be with the doctor behind the glass." Told us the nurse before leaving.

Serenity looked at me, I could clearly see that she was stressed. I gently cupped her face and smiled. "It's going to be okay, babe."

"What if—" I cut her off with a kiss.

I dried the few tears and left a soft kiss on her forehead. "Don't think about the worst, alright? If I have something bad, we will do everything we can okay?"

She nodded her little head, going with the doctor in the other room as I walked in the change room. It was cold and gave me sad feelings, how could you be working in this type of place? I mean, you could make it better by choosing a better color.

I couldn't help but wondering what if I really had something bad? What would we do? Or how Serenity would manage the kids while I'm not here? Or how my family will react? So many question were crossing my mind as I prayed god, hoping it wasn't something bad.

"You're ready?" Said the doctor's voice as him and Ren watched me walk. I nodded making him understand that I was ready. "So you're going to lay down in the tube and close your eyes, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." I replied, I did what he asked as soon as I was comfortable I closed my eyes. "All good." I yelled.

I heard a few things but kept my eyes closed and tried to lay still. Minutes later it was over and I could finally get out, I noticed that Serenity and the doctor were talking and she looked kind of concerned.

"Sir, you can go back to the doctor office and I will get back to you as soon as I can with the results." He spoke.

Serenity smiled sadly. "Thanks, doctor."

I intertwined my hand with Serenity's as we walked back to the office, I could tell that she was feeling a lot of things, her hands were wet and she was watching everywhere instead of me.

- listen to HOLD ON by CHORD OVERSTREET -
very important !!!

"Babe, what did he say? I saw you and you were looking concerned." I queried.

She shook her head. "He didn't tell me anything that's why I looked so concerned, as the shots developed on the computer he looked very confused and concerned."

I hummed. "I don't know, honey. I can't predict the future."

We stayed in a quiet silent, waiting for the doctor to walk through this door with the results. I knew Serenity's minds was full of negativity and questions, my girl liked to overthink, I didn't blame her cause I was doing the same thing for once.

Doctor Reid walked in, he didn't look like a person who was coming back with good results. "So, um, Mr Mendes you have a lung cancer." He broke the silent making Serenity gasps.

"How?" I asked. "I'm not even smoking or friends with people who smokes, how can I have that cancer?"

He shrugged. "Maybe someone in your family had it before you and unfortunately you're the one who got it." He stated.

I could hear Serenity's cries next to me. "How bad is it?" She asked drying her tears.

He cleared his throat. "It's a cancer at stage four. The cancer is already spread in both of your lungs." He started. "But, we still can try treatments like the chemotherapy but even with that you'll have at least two years if you're lucky." He added.

"I don't want any treatments." I stated calmly.

I could feel Serenity's stare on me, I didn't want to do treatments. It was my choice so I hoped she would respect my decision.

The doctor joined his hands together, glancing at my wife and me. "Your decision, sir. Without treatments, you will live one year maximum."

I nodded my head. "Thanks doc." I murmured, standing up and shaking his head.

"Thank you." Whispered Serenity, still in shock from the announcement.

He smiled sadly. "My pleasure, take care of you Mr Mendes."

"I will, thank you." I said before leaving the office, Ren behind me.

We both walked to the car in silent, I knew she was mad cause I didn't want any treatments. She silently broke down and sobbed in her hands, seeing this made my heart hurt.

"Why didn't you want treatments?" She sobbed hysterically.

I inhaled trying to ignore the lump in my throat. "I don't want to spend the last year of my life in bed without hair and always sick. I want to spend time with my little family and spend times with my kids so they can remember me as their dad, I don't want them to grow up and forgetting about their dad."

"Why would you leave us earlier?" She whispered. "I can't even think correctly, Shawn. I don't want to let you go, not right now."

I slowly took her hand in mine. "Babe, sooner or later we would have to say goodbye to each other you know... It doesn't mean I will stop loving you." I whispered trying to not break down in front of her, I had to be strong for her and the kids.

"Yeah but we weren't supposed to say goodbye to each other in a year, I don't want to. I'm not that strong." She bawled. "I wanted to grow old with you and I wanted you to be here forever."

"Babe, I still have a year but please can we live like I'm not going to die soon...? I don't want to live with the thought of it, I want to be able to travel somewhere cool with you all guys and to be normal until the day I leave." I told her drying her tears. "You guys are my everything, I will love you forever I promise."

She nodded, looking up and breathed out. "I promise we will live normally and yeah." She tried to smile. "Sorry I can't seem to smile right now." She chuckled, tears still streaming down.

"I love you, Ren, you know I do."

She hummed. "I know you do...I love you too."

—
authors note;

I'm crying while writing this and I honestly don't know how to act after I had this idea and DECIDED to write it down.

I wrote on cancer cause my great grandpa died because of it and I know it's not a easy and funny thing to talk about, that's why I read articles on it so what I wrote is 100% real and not fake.

I love you all, thank you for the love on this book. Only 2 chapters left.