Alvin was staring at his laptop screen for the past ten minutes. He got an email from the company where he had applied for the job and cleared the interview in the past week. The mail said that they were happy to accept him to the company without further interviews. They are in need of an experienced professional in the company and they found him qualified for the position.

They asked him to contact the HR department for further details about the job and then they will send him the offer letter.

He should be happy, he knew that. He had been working towards it for the past few months and joining his family was his first priority but now, he didn't know what he wanted. Part of him wanted to go and part of him wanted to stay for her, Anusha..

He can openly accept to his feelings now, he loved her, or was in love with her from the beginning, the day they met. It took him all this time to realise that and now his time with her is coming to an end and he wasn't sure what to do. He knew all her troubles now, but it felt like a dream because the time they spend together, and her telling him all about her life was a memory that only belonged to him. He had promised her that he won't tell anyone about it, including her. If he tell her about his feelings, will she accept him??? He doubted it. She had changed a lot from the time they met and they were very close but there wasn't any intentions or motives behind her actions.

He need to take baby steps towards her, but time was not in his side and that irked him. He was staring a hole on the screen when his phone ring and it was from Arlene.
Something is not right, he knew it even before taking the call.

'Hey Arlene... what is going on?' he asked in a rush.

'Uh..that was quick.. Hey Alvin, are you home? Anusha is not feeling well.
Can you come here?' Arlene replied in her calm voice.

'Yeah.. I can come but what happened to Anusha?? Is she okay?? Where is she ? Can I talk to her?' he was getting worried by the second, so he couldn't held back his distress from his voice.

'Don't panic Alvin. She is really okay, just shocked. She is sleeping now. I called Akki, but he is in a meeting. So he told me to contact you. Just come here and then we can talk. okay. I need to get back to office. Just call me when you reach here. Bye'

Arlene hung up without waiting for his reply. He quickly got changed, grabbed his phone and keys and walked outside while calling Rani aunty. Riya was in school and uncle and aunty were on duty , so he informed aunty that he won't be home for a while.

Alvin felt an uneasiness filling him. He got in the car and headed to her office.
******************

Anusha was really having a good morning, when she came office that day. She had called Ansa in the morning after much reluctance.
Alvin was right, their relationship was much more important than her pride.
It was a bit awkward at first, but they had talked, cried and apologized to each other.
And she talked to dad. He was doing fine and was quite confused by his daughters emotional outbursts.

She felt much better after her call. She had a strained relationship with her family but if she tried hard she could rekindle the bond in a more positive way, after all they are family. She was smiling herself when Kathir came to her desk.

'Good morning Akka. How are you?' he asked her with a grin on his face.

'I am good Kathir. How are you and when are you going home?' she asked him in her poor Tamil and his smile widened.

'I am so happy akka, I am going home today. My flight is at 11 tonight. I came to say goodbye to you' he said while running his hands through his curly hair.

'Oh.. that's great. Have a great time there okay?? Give my love to your sister and take a lot of pictures of the wedding. You have to show the photos when you come back.' she replied with a smile.

'Okay akka'
he replied in tamil, and was about to leave her desk when she got a call from the site. Apparently site engineer was asking for the safety department to join him. They were erecting brick wall on the fifth floor of the eleven storey hotel building. She quickly connected him to safety department and the supporting staff quickly came out. One of the safety guy asked Kathir about what he was doing here on his working time. He looked in trouble so Anusha told the safety guy that he came on behalf of the site engineer and he is heading to the same location which was partially true. He was working in the same building. He passed a grateful look towards her and she half nodded.

'Happy journey Kathir. See you after your vacation.' she told him in tamil and he smiled and waved goodbye and left with the safety guy.

Anusha was cleaning some old files when the emergency alarm from the site went off. It was so noisy Anusha almost jumped from her chair. This has never happened before unless there was a safety training going on or a mock trial happened. Her heart was pounding and she knew that some severe accident happened in the site and her phone started to ring. She quickly took the call. It was site supervisor.

'Hello, we have a situation here. Can you call the safety head and send him to the site and inform the manager too.' The guy was panting and she could here the commotion happening around him.
She cut the call and quickly called the safety department but nobody took her call. So she ran towards their office and met them in half way. They had got the call already and left immediately. Then she saw Yasmine who was talking on her phone. Anusha told Yasmin about the incident, and Yasmine informed their boss and he too immediately left to the site.

Within ten minutes there were ambulances and police vehicles and fire and rescue team. She could here the ambulance siren sound from her seat and that made her sick. She rubbed her head with one hand and kept looking outside through the glass door. It was slightly windy outside and it felt gloomy to her. Most of the staff were outside and Arlene came to her side.

'Any news? Actually what happened there ? ' Anusha asked her.

'Not much, I heard that there was an accident at the hotel building. Nothing more. Maybe Yasmin has the details, she is on her phone.' Arlene said with a shrug.

'Hotel building??'
Anusha said to herself and her heart pounded more. She held the chair arms with such force that her knuckles turned white.

Yasmin came to her desk while talking to someone on the phone in Arabic.

'Anusha, can you check this ID number on your system? They can't identify one guy from the accident'

Yasmin handed her a yellow post it note with an ID number.
Anusha took the paper from her hand and entered the numbers on her system with shaking fingers.

'Have you got any details about the accident Yasmin?' Arlene asked her.

'It is just unfortunate dear. Two brick walls fell down from the fifth floor while they were erecting. And one guy died on the spot and three is injured. This ID number belonged to the dead guy.'

Anusha entered the last number of the ID.

Kathiresan Gunasekaran. The smiling face of Kathir appeared on her screen, she could only feel the cold fear running down her spine and everything blurred suddenly. She slid from the chair and hit the floor before Arlene could hold her.

"******************"
Anusha was sleeping when Alvin entered the tiny room. He was in the labour camp clinic near her office. Arlene had send him the location.
Anusha looked pale and fragile. Her left arm was connected to an IV drip. The room was dimly lit and her metallic bed looked worn out and small. Arlene was standing beside him. He sighed deeply, it was difficult for him to look at her like this. His heart was aching for her, his emotions squeezed his heart and he averted his eyes to Arlene.

'What happened to her Arlene??' he asked while trying to sound more strong.

'Why don't we talk to the doctor first?'

Arlene took his arm and they walked towards another teeny room, where the doctor sat behind an old table.
The doctor introduced himself as Muhammed Rouf and Alvin shook his hand and they sat down on the plastic chairs.
'What happened to Anusha? Is she okay?' he asked without waiting for further pleasantries.

'Anusha is fine young man. She fainted out of shock and bumped her head. But nothing to worry. I have gave her medicines which will help her to relax and sleep sometime.
She will be alright after some rest.
You can take her home when she wakes up. Her BP was little high but now her vitals are normal. I will prescribe some relaxant, get it from the medical shop.
Anything more to discuss?' he asked calmly to Alvin.

'What made her faint? Did something happened here?' he asked while looking both the doctor and Arlene.

'Why don't you hear it out from your friend here. I am a little busy today. It has been chaotic and I need to go to the main hospital. I will check her before going . Then you can take her home once she woke up. Ok?'

He told them and stood up. He patted Alvin's shoulder reassuringly while passing to the next room.

After few minutes he came back from Anusha's room, and prescribed some medicine and handed the paper to him and left.

'Now tell me Arlene, what happened here. I saw some police officials on my way here.'

'Yeah, there was an accident in the construction site. Two brick walls fell down from the fifth floor while erecting. One guy died on the spot and three were injured. Sadly the guy who died was from India and he was quite close with Anusha. I had seen them talking to each other in another language and she adored him because he used to call her sister.
When she found out about his death, she fainted.'
Arlene looked at him with her warm eyes and patted his arm lightly.

'Hey.. don't worry. She will be fine. She is strong more than she admits. Be with her ok?? The site has shutdown for the day and she is on sick leave for two days. So just take care of her. Hm???' Arlene said while stroking his arm lightly and he nodded in response.

'Call me when she wakes up.' with one more gentle smile Arlene left him with Anusha.

*********"******
Alvin sat down on the plastic chair. Anusha was still asleep. A nurse came and removed her drip from her hand. Her face was still pale and the left side of forehead had a scratch, from the bump. The air in the room was still and smelled like sanitary solutions. Akki and Rashi had called him twice by now. He told them not to worry and he will take home once she wakes up.

All this time, he could only think, how she had cried in his arms days before. He had no idea how she would cope with the loss. He wanted to reach out and hold her and suck her all pain out if possible.
He leaned closer to her and brushed a few strands of hair behind her ear and her eyes fluttered open. She looked bit disoriented for few seconds and then she saw him.

'What are you doing here?' she asked while trying to sit.

'Me? I heard that someone fainted and bumped her head. So I am here to see that someone. '

'Bumped my head?' She asked herself and touched her temple lightly.

'Yeah..so..are you okay? Are you feeling dizzy? He asked again with more concern in his voice.

'Yeah.. I am good.' she said but her voice cracked. All she could remember was how she had send Kathir to the exact location. How they had said their goodbyes. Her eyes welled up. She blinked back her tears and tried to get up from the bed.

'I need to get back to the office. I am ok. You should go home'.
She said but she couldn't stand on her feet, she almost fell down but before that Alvin catched her.

'See.. I can clearly see how okay you are... and no you are not needed in the office. You are on sick leave for the next two days. Arlene asked me to call her when you wake up. So I will call her and why don't you lie down for some more time.'

She obeyed him without resistance and lied down on the bed while he called Arlene.

The nurse came and checked her vitals again , which was normal and he got her a glass of water to drink.
Arlene and Yasmin came to her room just then.

'Hey..Anusha..how are you feeling now?' Yasmin asked while checking her minor scratch.

'I am okay. Why are you here. You must be busy now.' She replied reluctantly.

'No. I am not that busy to spare a few minutes to see you. You should go home and rest. Your head is fine I think.'
Yasmin said and eyed Arlene who was standing beside her.

'Anusha how could you do that? You just scared the hell out of me.' Arlene's voice cracked showing how worried she was all the time. That surprised Alvin. She was really poised and calm when he came here and now he could see how she had put a brave front on for his sake.

' I am sorry Arlene. I did shock you. Sorry' Anusha mumbled.

'Dont be sorry stupid'. Arlene hugged her and stroked her back.

' Just get better ok? You should go home with him and rest as much as you want. Take her home Alvin and be with her. Here is her things'

Then she handed him her handbag and phone.

Anusha slowly got up from the bed and put on her sandals and stood up.

'Can you really walk? Or should I carry you?'
He half mocked easing the situation. They all entirely avoided the topic of the accident.

Anusha rolled her eyes. 'I can walk on my own. Thank you very much.'

'Why don't you let him carry you Anusha? ' Arlene said with a wink and chuckled.
Anusha shook her head in frustration and slowly started walking towards the door. They said their goodbyes and Anusha and Alvin walked towards the parking lot. He opened the door for her. As she got in he too got into the car and he started the engine.

The site was already shut down for the day but there were still some officials from labor department and her company staff was also standing with them.
Anusha saw them and tears sprang in her eyes. She closed her eyes and crossed her arms.

The air was windy and raindrops fell down from the sky like the tears in her eyes. She opened her eyes looked outside through the window. They were still on the narrow bumpy road to the construction site and were heading to the main road. Heavy trucks with materials ran through the same road. When a heavy truck came from the opposite side , Anusha felt that the truck was coming their way too close than usual. The truck came closer and she knew it is going to hit the car and she screemed. Alvin suddenly slammed the break and the car screeched to a halt.
The truck passed them without any problem and Alvin turned to her.

'What happened Anusha? Are you ok?'

'Yes.. I thought the truck is going to hit us. I am sorry.' she said with a bit of embarrassment.

'It's alright. The truck was a bit closer than usual. Don't worry..just relax.' he said and started the car again.

When they reached home Rashi and Akki was waiting for her. They made her eat some lunch and after that Rashi walked her to room. Nobody asked about anything. They pretend like nothing happened.
Anusha took a shower and changed her clothes. Rashi left after making sure that Anusha was settled down.
Alvin came back with her medicines and she took them without any hesitation.

' Why don't you sleep sometime? You will feel much better after a nap and I will be back in the evening to check you' he said while pushing her to the bed.

She looked terrified by the thought of left alone. She wanted to ask him to stay but her pride kept her from that.

He got her reluctance to sleep alone and he knew how she was trying to stay composed.

'If you don't mind I will stay until you fell asleep, to just make sure you are not going to get drunk again.' he said with slight smile.

'There is no wine Alvin' she said but she was relieved and gave him a grateful look.
She got into her bed and lied down while he sat on the couch and looked at her.
'Don't stare holes on my face Anusha. Just close your eyes and sleep.'

She smiled a little and closed her eyes and the medicine was acting on her nerves quickly. She fell asleep within minutes and he tucked her in and left her room.

*******************

Anusha was looking through the articles about the accident on her phone. She searched through some local news paper site and finally she saw the article that she was looking for. There wasn't much more details about the incident. Kathir was the only one deceased, the other three guys who got injured were admitted in the Hamad hospital and two of them were undergoing surgeries and the other one luckily had minor injuries.
Anusha's eyes welled up and they flow down like a water work. She couldn't stop crying. The smiling face of Kathir appeared Infront of her eyes. She squeezed shut her eyes and drew her legs close and cried.
Anusha's door was ajar , he knocked twice when she didn't answer he entered the room. The room was dark so he switched on the lights and found Anusha sitting on the floor, her cheeks wet from tears and her shoulders slumped towards in disappointment.

He walked towards her, and crouched down before her and lifted her chin with his finger.
'What is it Anusha? Why are you like this?'
'I killed him Alvin.. I send him there to die...he was leaving for his vacation. He was so happy..his sister is getting married soon and his family was waiting for him.
He used to call me his sister. He told me my smile resemble to his sister.
Now, he is gone and his family lost him forever...all because me. God...what have I done now'

Her whole body shook from the pain she felt in her heart and a fresh set of tears flowed down from her eyes.

He felt helpless , it was so painful to see her again like this. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer and hugged her. She sunked into his arms feeling thankful for the simple gesture. He gently stroked her hair. He was saying soothing words into her ear but she was so absorbed in her own misery, it took her sometime to realise what he was trying to say.

'It wasn't your fault Anusha. He was working in the same place where he was working from the morning. It was not you who send him there. He went there as usual and accident happened. But there is nothing we can do about it now. It happened. We can't change the past, just think that he loved you enough to come and say his goodbye to you, that is it. Stop torturing yourself and just pray for his soul. That is the only thing we can do now. If you want to cry more, keep crying I am not leaving you alone here'
He said and continued to stroke her hair.

It took her sometime to understand what he had said. She was still in pain but a little bit of peace washed over her.

'How do you know that?' she asked finally.

'I was there while you were sleeping.
I met your doctor and Arlene when I came there. After they left I met the site supervisor guy who came to see the doctor. He is the one who told me this. So this whole thing has nothing to do with you. So stop blaming yourself.' He said gently.

She didn't say anything , still in his embrace , her head in his chest. She felt peaceful there and it felt right to be in his arms. Anusha was thinking about her dad. The way he used to hug her when she was little. She had missed this feeling in her whole life. It must have felt like this. She thought to herself.

'Thank you' she mumbled.

'So are you going to be okay?

'I guess...' she said without raising her head.

'Then can I ask you something?? Why does it feel like a father daughter reunion??' he asked in a confused tone.

She raised her head from his chest and met his gaze.
'Because your arms kind of felt like that...like dad.' She said with a smile playing on her lips.

' What? Am I just got father zoned now?' he asked with a horror in his eyes.
Anusha through her head back and laughed. Her cheeks were still wet and eyes were red, her laugh filled his heart and he smiled looking at her.
Then he took her smiling face in his palm and kissed her forehead. It was deep and gentle that Anusha closed her eyes.
Despite of the heaviness of the situation her heart fluttered. It was a new feeling to her, instead of pain her heart actually fluttered and goose bumps climbed her spine.

'I don't want to be father zoned anymore' he whispered to her and she opened her eyes to see him smiling at her.

For the first time in years, she felt her heart pounding for someone and it scared the hell out of her.

To be loved or to love someone. Could she do it? She wondered.