THE DUPLICITY OF BEAUTY

Jagged peaks

Saintly image smiles back to the shadow

Caress

This is beauty

Angelic woman is embodying this shadow

But angelic woman sees no shadow

Reality remains deceptive

It is them that cannot see

BLAME

No, I was not only born out of love

To be thrown into a home of constant suffering

I was born to be blamed for being born

I was made to be ridiculed

I was made to be different

My hair isn't the color of sunbeams

My eyes are not effervescent like the sky

I was birthed from the belly of

A beautiful white woman

And the sperm of angry black guy

I didn't ask to be cut into two

To be punished

To be sectioned off from parts of myself

To be judged like this

This is my skin

It's only skin

It's genetics

It's a mistake

PLAYING DRESS-UP

Sometimes

I feel like a boy

An awkward boy in a dress

I'm kind of pretty

On the inside

And you look at me

Judging me

Based on my curves

And sex-appeal

And it drives me crazy

I hate wearing heels

Feeling like I'm going to break my own neck

What do women do this for?

For a few seconds of false bravado?

The coined phrase

"You look so beautiful"?

It's absurd how much I desire to be

Accepted

And how much I long to be ignored

It's overall very confusing

I got hips to bear children

But ovaries that are knocking on death's door

I'm a living contradiction

I spread my legs

But nothing's there

I played on both teams in the schoolyard

But you don't understand

You could never understand

And who really cares?

My chest is heavy

I'm more than frilly bras and panties

Yet, I feel like a boy

I am standing in the closet thinking

It's just a game of dress-up to you

Do you think I'm pretty now?