—NBR—
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Welcome
I'm so honored to be in this weeks spotlight and I look forward to hearing your feedback on my work.

Summary:
Since this is the first chapters here isn't much you need to know other than that, Jamie, the protagonist is an overworked employee at a job she shares no passion for. Jamie is a fresh university graduate who expected writing jobs to fall at her feet, but due to the recent crime outbreak in London and its dwindling economy Jamie's dreams fall flat.

Questions:
1. 1. Due to me setting up the for the plot of the story in this chapter, the chapter is more action based which leaves me to wonder how does this affect the reader's ability to be invested in my protagonist, Jamie?
2. What do you think about the pacing of this chapter and how does it affect your engagement as a reader?
3. I've gotten many comments about my vocabulary saying that it doesn't really fit in with the romance genre, what is your opinion on that and how does it affect the overall narrative?

12:28 a.m. and her eyes were fighting a losing battle. Her fingers slowly lost grip of the newspaper that she had been reading. She jolted herself up in an attempt to stay awake. But alas, her eyes surrendered; their laudable efforts succumbed to the laborious day endured by her. Her unkempt brunette locks became damp under the touch of the freshly dewed pole upon which her head rested.

Jamie's eyes fluttered open as the familiar chiming of Big Ben announced the arrival of 1 a.m.

"Shit."

Even in her groggy state, she knew that she had missed the bus.

"Oh God." Her muscles tensed as she mustered up the energy to lift herself off the bench. Jamie stretched her arms into the air, letting the joints of her back crack as she prepared for the walk home.

Liam is probably out cold in his warm bed. Oh, how good that bed must feel.

It had been days since she had gotten a proper night's rest. She insisted that she loved it at that café, even though waking up every morning had become a dreadful task befallen on her. Well, it wasn't so much the café she hated, no, she rather quite liked the quaint little shop and those muffins that they served were in her words "a life changing experience". But, every day that she stepped into that café served as a reminder of unfulfilled dreams and  giving up.

Jamie was a lot of things, but selfish wasn't one of them and if she had chosen not to dive into the first window that presented itself, selfish is what she would have become.

Jamie was neck deep in student loans and the only reason she wasn't swallowed up by debt, was because of Liam. He had slaved himself long enough. She couldn't let him continue to work fifteen hour days while she waited about for her dream job. Anyway, she had counted herself lucky that she even had a job, sure it may not have been the dream, but it was more than a lot of people had nowadays.

After spending six years obtaining a master's degree in the Arts, Jamie thought journalist job offers would be flying through the postal slot of her apartment. Alas, Jamie's optimism didn't factor in the recent events that would plagued London.

Her eyes searched for light along the dead streets, her thoughts were lost in the frightening silence as she dragged her half asleep body along the pavement. The memory of the newspaper article she had read a few moments ago was fresh in her mind. "Brennan Brothers Dispose of Innocent Bystanders", she shivered at the thought of such an occurrence.

Jamie knew she shouldn't have been out there. The ominous silence tormented her. Jamie's mind kept wandering to them. . . those brothers.

London had fallen victim to the havoc wreaked by the American gang. Organised crime flourished in the Queen's streets, there wasn't an illegal market that the brothers' hadn't tapped into. Theft, arson, murder; all common subjects of London headlines. She tried to rid her mind of the shooting at St. Paul Cathedral School. She could hear the bullets as if she was there that afternoon. She imagined the shrill screams of the children as the bullets escaped the gun, their tears when they discovered the cold, lifeless bodies of their friends. Her vision became blurry with the thick tears that formed against her waterline. All that death, for what? So some high school dropout would be accepted into a gang of equally as vile human beings.

She followed the pavement to her apartment, which luckily for her, wasn't too far away. As she was about to approach the alley nearby, a man lurched towards her and grabbed her by the shoulders, almost as if he were using her to keep himself from falling over. She closed her eyes and prepared a fist, but before she could clock him across the nose, he spoke.

"Leave miss, leave now," he whispered, a toxic stench wafting from his breath. Jamie broke away from his grip and ignored the obviously intoxicated man's plea. A baleful feeling dawned upon her as she had come to terms with the man's aberrant warning. She felt her heart knot up, but still she powered through it and continued her walk.

Jamie neared the alley and halted when she noticed the emerging shadows streaming in from the poorly lit alley. She peered behind the wall only to be horrified when she saw them.

The Brennans. What nightmare is this?

After every form of media plastered the profiles of the three brothers, she would have to be a fool not to recognize them. The fourth brother, however, was nowhere to be seen, staying true to his covert nature.

The three brothers surrounded the policemen as if they were prey. The policemen's chests heaved as the brothers aimed their weapons at them. Jamie reached for her phone only to be greeted with a dark, lifeless screen.

She heard one of the brothers pipe up, his words were not completely detectable, but there was no mistaking his menacing tone. Then there was laughter, their malicious tones never faulting. They laughed at their prey, they relished the fear exuding from every breath that escaped those policemen.

She gnawed on her bottom lip in an attempt to relieve her tension. She knew she couldn't stay here, but at the same time, she couldn't find it in herself to leave. What if they heard her footsteps and followed her, what if they decided to make a run for it in her direction? It all seemed too risky, but then she saw it, her saving grace. Just a meter to her left was a huge bin. She crawled towards it, ensuring her her shoes wouldn't make a sound. She exhaled in relief as she managed to hide behind the bin undetected.

Despite her new found haven, Jamie was petrified. Those police officers were still there. Jamie wished she would have possessed the courage to walk in there and completely disarm them without breaking so much as a sweat, but she wasn't Batman. Instead, she was the pathetic civilian who would sit idly by as two policemen would be murdered.

She became frail as the sound of guns cocking echoed in her ears. She shut her eyes tightly and waited. . .

Gunshots pierced through the night's thin air and like that, Jamie was out cold.

Questions:
1. 1. Due to me setting up the for the plot of the story in this chapter, the chapter is more action based which leaves me to wonder how does this affect the reader's ability to be invested in my protagonist, Jamie?
2. What do you think about the pacing of this chapter and how does it affect your engagement as a reader?
3. I've gotten many comments about my vocabulary saying that it doesn't really fit in with the romance genre, what is your opinion on that and how does it affect the overall narrative?

Word count: 1079
Status: Rewritten & Edited
Rewritten: 7 July 2017
Last Edit: 4 September 2017