"Don't trust too much. Don't love too much. Don't hope too much. Because that "too much" can hurt you so much."

----Jiyoon's POV----

Four years has passed. Four years without him. Four years without the boys. Four years drowning in pain.

Today was an ordinary day, but it was my birthday. I wasn't excited for today. I guess it's just a day to remind me that I'm getting older.

I was at the post office, sending a letter to Suga. He was the only one who responded to my letters out of everyone.

The last time he sent a letter to me was around three years ago though.. I don't know why he stopped.

I didn't care, anyway. Why should I care for a friend who ditched me here without telling. Is that even friendship?

I found out that Jin found a new girlfriend. It broke my heart to pieces, but I don't blame him. I'm not as perfect as Bora.

Why would Jin like an ordinary girl like me? Of course, I was just a toy to play around with. I was too dumb to realise, stupid me.

"Babe, are you done sending your letter?" Lay asked me. I stuttered, "Oh, yes. Mianhe.." I said.

Lay was my boyfriend since two years ago. His real name is Zhang Yixing, he's a really sweet boyfriend but I can't compare him to Jin.

I haven't told Suga that I have a boyfriend too. Well I don't need to, it's too late.

I haven't fully trust Suga as well, because he didn't say goodbye. Also because he didn't tell me why they left until now.

I didn't need to tell him about my personal life, why does he need to know anyway.

Suga probably doesn't even like me, I sent him so many messages during the three years he didn't respond.

"Is it okay if I go check if I received anything?" I asked Lay. He gave me a warm smile, "Of course, go for it".

I held his hand and went to the ladies in the post office.

"Excuse me, can I check if I received any letters?" I said politely, giving some aegyo. The ladies laughed, "Sure, hold up."

The ladies here already knew who I was, so they didn't have to ask for my name.

"Here, it's from Suga" She said, handing a letter to me.

I smiled and bowed, "Kamsamnida, unnie". "No problem Jiyoon, Happy Birthday again!" The office ladies said. I smiled and left with Lay.

We went in his car. We didn't need to celebrate because we had a dinner last night.

Sadly we didn't celebrate it, but I wanted to celebrate dinner with my Dongsaeng Nayeon.

"Babe, I'll drop you home so you can have some time with Nayeon" Lay said. "Arraseo" I smiled.

I stared at the letter.

'Jiyooooon' ♡

As soon as I knew it, Lay already stopped the car because we were already in front of my house.

"Thank you baby, I love you!" I smiled and kissed him. "No problem, saranghae".

I opened the front door and then waved at him. "After three years, that's when you reply huh?" I sighed. I went to the couch and opened the letter.

Dearest Jiyoon,

          I'm very sorry, I haven't written a letter for the past three years.
Things haven't been right lately, I miss Seoul, and I miss you.
Jin misses you, but his girlfriend Bora is brainwashing him.   I wish we can return.
I hate it here, pressure and perfection is what they want.
Jungkook wants to go back to Seoul to find his family, expect him to find them, including his love Nayeon.
I can't exactly describe how I feel, but it's not quite right, and it leaves me cold.
We will be back soon, wait for us. Wait for Jin.
Mianhe, Jiyoon-ah. We all miss you.

From, Suga.

I felt tears run down my eyes. Why am I feeling this way? Maybe because I knew, all of them meant so much to me.

Or maybe it's that Jin loves someone who isn't me. Jin, if I was here, would you love me the way you love her? Would you look at me the way you look at her?

Now, I looked like a total mess. I looked like a disaster, that I felt so insecure. I felt so depressed and numb, that my soul was also frozen.

I laid on the couch with pillows covering my face.

----Nayeon's POV----

Today was Jiyoon unnies birthday. I have a big surprise for her. I didn't know if she would like it though. Jungkook helped me with it.

Jungkook arrived here in Seoul after four years. When I saw him, I automatically cried and hit him, asking him why he left without a word.

But then he asked me to asked me to be his girlfriend. Of course, I said yes. "Do you think she will be mad?" I asked Jungkook.

"I don't know, but it's worth a try Jagiya" Jungkook said.

----Jiyoon's POV----

It was 5:30pm and I started getting ready for my birthday dinner with Nayeon. I wore a pink dress that was up to my thighs, with matching black heels.

I curled the tip of my hair, since Nayeon told me to wear something elegant. Why? It's not like we're going to a ball or something.

I went to the restaurant, and Nayeon wasn't here yet. The waiter gave me a seat and I played on my phone.

After five minutes, Nayeon turned up. "Happy Birthday Unnie!" She greeted me. "Thank you, Dongsaeng!" I smiled.

"I have a surprise for you later" Nayeon said. "Jinjja!? Wow, I'm excited. Make sure it's cute" I joked.

She laughed along, "Here's present one though" Nayeon said, handing me a small box.

I opened it, and saw a bracelet with our names carved on it.

'Jiyoon and Nayeon = best friends ♡'

I was grateful to have a best friend like her. "Thank you, I love you Dongsaeng!" I said. "I love you too, unnie!".

After, she gasped. "Wae?" I said confused. Nayeon smiled, "Present number two is here" She said pointing behind me.

I looked behind and got a shock. No, this can't be. Why are you here?

"Well I'll leave you two together" Nayeon grinned. She left, and he sat down. "What are you doing here.." I asked, not looking into his eyes.

"I missed you" he said. I rolled my eyes, "Don't give me that bullshit, Jin" I said.

----Jin's POV----

I came here to surprise Jiyoon.

Nayeon pointed at me to Jiyoon, then she turned around, facing me. We made eye contact, and it's still there. The spark. The scary thing is, I don't think it will go away.

Jiyoon turned back around to Nayeon. I walked over to them, but then Nayeon left us together. I sat down opposite of Jiyoon.

"What are you doing here.." She said coldly. "I missed you" I said smiling. I saw Jiyoon roll her eyes. "Don't give me that bullshit, Jin".

I got startled for a minute. "Why are you mad?" I asked confused. Jiyoon sarcastically laughed, "Can't you see why?" Jiyoon said.

"I'm sorry I left you, I didn't mean to. I didn't want to hurt you. I'm sorry that I canceled our wedding plans and got a girlfriend there in the U.S. My mind, messed up.. I wasn't thinking straight. I missed you, I never stopped thinking about you. I still love you" I said.

Jiyoon looked at me with sad eyes. "Yeah, sure you missed me. If you did love me, you would of never left me hanging, you wouldn't of canceled our wedding plans because of another girl, you wouldn't of made me run hours to go to the airport." She said, with tears running down her eyes.

I felt a stab in my heart. She ran so much just for us, but we didn't even end up saying goodbye.

"Big hit moved us, it wasn't our idea. I didn't cancel our wedding plans, I postponed it. I told my parents to cut it for a while. I thought the girl I liked back there was the one. I wanted to be with someone adventurous, happy, outgoing. I finally realised, I didn't want her because she wasn't you. Your different, Jiyoon." I held her hand across the table.

She took her hand away and sighed.

"We can start over again. We can love each other again. We can introduce our self again, talk and laugh and relearn what we already know. We can come up with new inside jokes, and create new memories. We can give each other a second chance." I smiled.

Jiyoon cried harder. "Why would you want to create memories with someone who you left? You left me for something I didn't have. Why are you coming back, if you left me because I didn't have something you want? It's not easy to forgive the past." She said, wiping her tears.

She ruined her mascara, which is now spreading everywhere on her face.

"I used to think about you before I fall asleep, I used to remember the words you used to say to me and the way you looked. The things we laughed about, the silent moments we shared. When I dreamed back then, I'd dream of you. Because it was you, it was always about you. Then I realised, I was only but a game to you. And one day, your name didn't make me smile anymore." Jiyoon explained.

I was crying too. I couldn't believe how much I hurt her. I can't even say sorry.. I felt ashamed.
"D-do you.. Do you still love me?" I stuttered.

Jiyoon shook her head, "Aniyo."

I felt a hole in my heart. "Is it because of someone else?" I asked, with tears. She nodded, "I'm sorry, but I love him now."

I put my hands in my eyes for a second and looked at her. I looked like a mess.

Jiyoon stood up, "Its okay that you chose her. We always choose the wrong people or ourselves. After all, I chose you" She said standing up and leaving me.

I cried and cried.

I was heartbroken, and I was falling apart.

----Jiyoon's POV----

I left him inside the restaurant. Once I got in my car, I started crying and screaming.

I lied, I lied.

When he asked me if I still loved him, I denied him. Of course I love him, I love him so fucking much..

I put my head against the wheel. The car honked every time I banged my head against it, but I didn't care.