I'm done with pretending to be happy all the time... So done....... If I change how I act though people may act different too and I don't want that. I don't want anymore changes to my life. I'm just not sure how much longer I can keep feeling "happy".

I.... Want to die but I have to stay, for Doitsu and my brother and Japan... I can't leave them. Ever. No one deserves to be left.