Start the song. It's Oats in the Water by Ben Howard.
**I don't think this should be triggering, but it is heavy. If you just want a summary of the chapter instead, message me. I'd much rather you were safe.**

Knots were forming in Josh's stomach as his little sister painted red around his eyes. Her hand was clumsy with the brush, seeing as he'd destroyed her dominant hand, but he needed her to do it this time. Ash was stronger than he was, and he needed her here.

"Who are you punishing?" Ash asked quietly as she painted across his eyelid with red. "Dad never told us who. He just said they were the ones who'd poisoned you."

"Titus," Josh whispered.

His voice hadn't been working today. Everything he said came out muted. He was surprised he'd managed to convince his father that he should be allowed to do this when really it was his father's property that had been damaged. Maybe his softened voice had helped him though. It showed how deeply this had impacted him.

The brush left his face, prompting him to open his eyes. His little sister was staring at him in shock.

"Titus the elder?" She asked fearfully. Josh nodded. "Titus as in my Husband Titus?" Her eyes were wide.

"I don't think you're going to have to be married to him anymore," Josh assured her. "Maybe Asag or someone, but not him. I'm pretty sure the privilege of marrying the prophet's daughter goes away when you try to kill his son."

Ash's fingers trailed across her sleeve, right atop the place she'd been branded as a child when she'd been promised to Titus. Anxiety gripped Josh once again. He wasn't sure if Ash even could remarry.

She'd already had two children by Titus, only one of which had survived. She'd had to give the child away to one of the other couples within The Family, however. He could pick Ash's daughter out of a line up any day, though, even if she didn't know she belonged to them. Ash had been thirteen, though. Even with a husband as old as Titus, she wouldn't have known what to do for that child. Giving her away was the best option.

"How are you going to do it?" Ash asked quietly, holding his cheek with her damaged hand as she went back to painting his eyes.

After a moment of hesitation, Josh decided that he wanted her to know. "He hurt Ashley too."

"How?" Ash's voice was protective, something usually reserved only for family. Did she consider Ashley family too?

"He had me come into the sanctuary yesterday. She was still chained up and scared. He...he forced me to take her."

Part of Josh was scared that his little sister didn't quite understand that he didn't want that. When boys in the community started learning from the elders, they were only four. From that age on, it was beaten (sometimes literally) into their brains that spouses had to be taken against their will. The girls were taught that they were to belong to their husbands, who were generally older men in the community. When the wives they'd taken at young ages passed away or got too old to be useful, they took a new one-a young one.

Titus had been in his seventies when Ash was born. From that day forward, she belonged to him. He wasn't allowed to officially take her until she turned twelve, and she was to remain with her family until she turned sixteen. Come May, she'd be expected to move into his home. Maybe Josh was meant to protect her from that too.

"Is she okay?" Ash asked quietly.

Josh swallowed hard. "No. She's in a lot of pain, and she doesn't trust me anymore."

His little sister hesitated for a moment before setting the brush down. The air in the room felt heavy, and Josh wondered if she was remembering. How long did it take for the pain of being taken to go away? Did his little sister still feel it?

"Look at me." He opened his eyes to find hers filled with tears. "This didn't just hurt her body. You took something from her that you can't give back, even if it wasn't your choice to take it. Killing Titus might seem like it will fix things, but it won't. Let Dad punish him. Put your energy into comforting her. Don't touch her if she doesn't want you to. Hold her if she does. Let her cry and yell at you. Make sure she understands that she's allowed to be hurt. Her instinct is going to be to protect you. Don't let her. She comes first."

"But what about-"

Ash ignored him, wiping the red away from his eyes. "I'll tell Dad that he can punish Titus. We're his property anyways. Hurting the prophet's kids means being punished by the prophet. Don't try to heal violence with violence. I know they tell us here that it helps, but it will hurt her more. Every time Titus hurts someone, I get more scared of him. Don't do that to her. She's softer than I am."

Even if he didn't want to admit it, his sister was right. Killing Titus would only give Ashley and Tyler another reason to fear him. If he was going to get them home on Sunday, he'd need to regain their trust again. The only way he could do that was by helping them remember what safety feels like.

One thing was certain though. When he let them out, he wasn't going with them. If he'd learnt anything from last night, it was that he belonged here. If he was able to justify destroying Ashley as a way of protecting her, he belonged here. The Family would've been proud of him last night, and there was still a part of him that wondered if he should find comfort in that.

"Do you ever wish someone would just kill you so you wouldn't have to be here?" Josh whispered to Ash.

She nodded, watching him sadly. "All the time."

"It shouldn't be like this," he whispered to her.

"No, but it is." She leant over to her bedside table and picked up a candle and a box of matches. Josh watched her clumsily strike a match before lighting the candle. She held it out to him. "Make a wish," she told him.

"Why?" He asked, looking down at the burning flame.

She shrugged. "Maybe it can change something."

Finding the will to actually wish for something to get better was hard, but deciding on something to wish for wasn't. He closed his eyes as he thought it out clearly: I wish all marriages were consummated like mine and Tyler's, and not like mine and Ashley's. He blew the candle out before looking at his sister once again.

"I'm going to go talk to Dad. Go be with them. Tyler is probably scared too. Protect them. That's your job," she told him as she set the candle back down. He nodded, climbing off of the bed and heading for the door. "And Josh?"

He turned to look at her tiredly. "Yeah?"

"You've done a good job protecting them. I don't think any other guy in this place would go through what you have to keep their spouses from going through this. It's not your fault that Titus forced you. You're still good."

"I love you," Josh reminded her quietly.

She smiled slightly. "I love you too. Now get out of my room."

For the first time since this had happened, Josh smiled. He closed her door behind himself before going back to his bedroom. The door was locked from the outside, just like it used to always be. They just couldn't take any chances anymore. Nowhere felt safe, and Josh wouldn't let anyone else hurt his family. He unlocked the door before going inside.

Ashley was asleep, a side effect of the sedatives she'd asked him for. He'd given them to her without question. If he'd had the option of sleeping through this, he'd have taken it too. Tyler was sitting on the bed beside her, reading through that stupid book again. His eyes trailed up to meet Josh's.

"I thought you were getting ready for the ritual," Tyler whispered.

Josh shook his head. "My dad can punish him."

Tyler smiled slightly as he set the book down. "Then come here."

Carefully locking the door behind himself, Josh walked over to the bed and climbed on. Anxiety tugged at his stomach when Ashley stirred in her sleep. Tyler, however, helped Josh lay down in his lap. He combed his fingers through Josh's hair softly, soothing him silently.

Exhaustion was quickly taking over. Josh hadn't slept at all last night. He'd spent his entire night sitting in the barn, trying not to have a panic attack. As always, Tyler's touch drew that stress out of him, replacing it with a gentle calm. His eyelids grew heavy as Tyler's fingertips brushed against his scalp.

"I'm proud of you," Tyler whispered.

Those words felt so much more comforting when coming from Tyler and not The Family. Praise from Tyler came only from doing good things. Earning approval from The Family was always dangerous territory.

"What for?" He asked sleepily.

A contented sigh left his lips when Tyler's lips brushed against his forehead. "Because you're better than them. You aren't going to hurt someone to make up for hurting someone else."

"Only because Ash told me it wouldn't fix anything," Josh clarified shamefully.

"But you listened. You're learning. You're trying to be better. That sets you apart." Tyler sounded so sure of what he was saying. His confidence made Josh feel more secure in his decision. "I love you."

"I love you too," Josh replied as he began to drift off. Once again, a dangerous thought came to his mind. He'd only vocalised it once, but it seemed to have helped. "Ty?"

"What do you need?" Tyler asked gently, tracing Josh's facial features lightly with his fingertips.

Josh's muscles were all relaxing as his consciousness began to waver. "Can you pray for Ashley?"

"I can," Tyler replied softly. "I have been. I've been praying for you too."

A warmth spread throughout Josh's body that only Tyler seemed to know how to create. It wasn't until he felt this safety that he realised how frightened he'd been since walking into the sanctuary yesterday. His relationship with Tyler was what he'd hoped marriage would be like as a child. The one he had with Ashley was what he'd always feared marriage within the fence would become.

"I should go to school today," Josh whispered.

Tyler shook his head. "No. You need to rest. Get some sleep, okay? You've been through a lot in the past twenty-four hours too. This whole family could use some recuperation time."

Josh swallowed the lump in his throat, allowing Tyler to help him under the covers before lying down beside him. He wrapped an arm around Josh's waist, kissing his lips softly. Instinctively, Josh pulled Tyler in closer. His husband sighed contentedly, hiding his face against Josh's shoulder.

"Sleep," Tyler mumbled. "I'll protect you."

Josh nodded as he drifted off. He hadn't realised how much he'd needed to hear those words. His body sank into the mattress as Tyler rubbed his back. Never in his life had he felt this safe in such a terrible situation.

-----

Josh woke up to Tyler shifting beside him. His eyelids fluttered open as Tyler climbed out of bed, leaving him alone next to Ashley. To his surprise, she crawled over to him, pulling his arms around her before laying back down. Relief flood him as he kissed the top of her head and brushed her tangled curls off of her forehead.

He looked up when Tyler opened the door. Ash stood on the other side. Her face bore no emotion. In her hands was a small box. She looked to Josh.

"Dad wouldn't let us wake you up for the ritual, but he said to give this to you." She brought the box over and set it down next to him. Her expression softened when she saw Ashley clinging to him.

"It's over?" He asked her, surprisingly relieved that he hadn't had to witness it.

Ash nodded. "Yeah. It's done with. He's not going to bother anyone anymore."

The words held a secret that only Josh would detect. He smiled slightly as he sat up, pulling Ashley into his lap carefully as he opened the box. His sister was free. Her husband was dead.

Ashley squeaked in fear and hid her face against his shoulder when she saw what was in the box. Tyler's eyes widened. Lined up in order of where they would be if still attached to his jaw, each of Titus's teeth rested on the soft velvet interior of the wooden box. Blood and chunks of his gums clung to the roots, telling Josh that his father had ripped them out one by one.

"He wanted to give me the fingernails, but I'm not really interested in keeping proof that that asshole existed. I told him you probably wouldn't be either, but you know him. Revenge over respect." Ash closed the box for Josh when Ashley began to tremble.

Josh nodded, setting the box down on the table beside his bed. "So he's dead?"

"And disassembled. Dad wasn't happy," Ash reported, her discomfort showing on her face. She hesitated before looking to Josh. "I'll tell you about it later. You guys have been through enough this week."

Once again, Josh was surprised by his sister's understanding. He nodded, wrapping an arm around Tyler as he rubbed Ashley's back. She sniffled against his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Thanks, Ash," he told his sister quietly.

She nodded. "And Ashley?" Ashley turned her head just enough to look at her. "The pain goes away after a while. He'll take care of you until then. I know he will."

"I do too. Thank you," Ashley whispered shakily.

"You're welcome." Ash smiled weakly at Ashley, which was a monumental step for her. "Goodnight."

The door closed quietly behind her, and she was gone. Ashley hid her face once again. Tyler kissed the top of her head before resting his head on Josh's other shoulder. Josh kissed his forehead softly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to Ashley.

"Me too," she replied quietly. "I love you. Both of you."

"I love you too," both boys replied quietly.

Josh adjusted them so they could all lay down. He didn't shift Ashley any more than necessary, allowing her to remain on top of him. One of his arms remained wrapped around Tyler although he knew it'd be numb by morning. He needed them both close so he knew they were safe.

"The day after tomorrow," he whispered. "That's when you'll go home. That night. The next morning, you'll wake up safe in your own beds."

Admitting it out loud hurt a lot. The idea of waking up without them in this terrible place made his heart ache and his stomach clench, but he wasn't going to let that stop him. They were the only people in this world that he had the ability to save, and he was going to do it.

"Tyler told me," Ashley whispered. "Are you coming with us?"

Tyler's gaze was heavy when it fell upon Josh. Josh had promised him, but it was empty. He couldn't go. He couldn't leave Ash and Abigail and Jordan and his mom here. Besides, he was one of them. This was the only place on Earth where he belonged.

"I don't know," he replied finally.

Ashley held him tighter then, and Tyler turned his gaze to look out of the window. He sniffled, but otherwise remained silent. As much as it hurt Josh to know that Tyler wanted him to go, he couldn't do that. Both Tyler and Ashley deserved a fresh start when they got home-normality. He couldn't give them that. No. He'd stay here. He owed them that much.