TJ POV

"And how does that make you feel?" How am I supposed to know how I feel if I've never had these feelings before?

"Anxious, I guess." My therapist gives me a soft smile.

I have been feeling really awkward around Cyrus. Like the clammy awkwardness. I fill up our conversations with random stuff to hide the fact that my walls are down around him and I just want to spill everything. I just want to look at him. I want to see his brown puppy dog eyes, his permanently blushed cheeks, and his soft lips. Every time we walk past each other, I feel the instinct to grab his hand and never let go. I have the feeling of never wanting to loose him. I just want to be around him all the time.

That's why I felt comfortable telling him about my dyscalculia. I trusted him.

What is this unknown feeling? I've never felt this way before. Cyrus is the only one who makes me feel like this, so I know it's special.

Amber explained to me what she felt when she met Andi. Her heart was beating fast and her cheeks became red. And she just wanted to see Andi every day after that.

"Anxious?"

"I don't know if it's a good or bad feeling." She nods and writes another thing down in her notepad.

"Well TJ, our time is up, thank you for sharing." She stood up and walked out of the room, and I'm assuming it was so she can get the payment from my mother. We pay a lot for these sessions. But I barely get anything out of it, my feelings are just being recorded on a piece of paper. I want to get rid of them, not for someone to have them at their advance. It makes me uncomfortable to know that.

-

Cyrus Pov

"I don't wanna go." So my head was currently stuffed in my pillow. Buffy and Andi are trying to get me to go to prom. But why would I want to go if they already have dates. I don't want to be a fifth wheel. I'm already a third wheel. "I don't have a date."

"You can go with us."

"Isn't that a bit pathetic." That earned getting a pillow thrown at me. "You know what I mean." I slowly sit up and lean against my bed frame. Buffy was sitting at the edge of my bed and Andi was sitting on my bean bag, fiddling with a red ribbon.

"Look, I know we have dates but you can still hang with us." Oh yeah, Marty asked Buffy to prom. It was something that surprised me because I thought he had a girlfriend. It didn't surprise Andi though, Andi knows everything.

"Hang out with your dates, you only have one junior prom." Buffy leaned over and grabbed my hand.

"Which is why you should come, you don't know if you'll have fun or not. And if you're having a bad night, we'll leave and go to the Spoon." That's pretty convincing actually. If you mention going to the Spoon, I will agree with you. But it's prom. It's going to be filled with the smell of cologne and perfume that will literally choke me death. "Please Cyrus~" Oh frick, now they're giving me the pouty lips and big eyes. Not those eyes.

"B-Buffy... Andi!" They don't stop, they actually just get closer with the same looks on their face. "FINE! I'll go!" Andi let out the loudest squeal in existence then they both jumped on me. That girl can't shout but she can squeal.

"We're going shopping later, do you want to come?"

"Sure, why not." They eventually calm down and then we start talking about random crap. Buffy and Andi usually bring up a topic then we'll all gossip about it. It's usually about drama that started at school. Last week I learned that this girl Jen got ditched by her boyfriend, Tom because he was going to prom with another girl (who was his cousin) and even though he explained to her many times that it was his cousin and that he has to go with her or at least bring her, Jen broke up with him and got another boyfriend. It's a very very long story. Andi only knew that because she's friends with Tom's cousin.

People in our school are very dramatic.

"Have you met her yet?" Wait what are they talking about.

"I tried talking to her but she ignored me." Andi looked down with her lips in a straight line. She's embarrassed. "I told Jonah about it and he said she was deaf."

"Oh Andi-Man." Buffy teased. "At least you're going to meet her again, right?" Andi nodded excitedly.

"Tomorrow, actually."

"Wait, wait, wait, what the heck is going on." Buffy turned to me with her legs crossed.

"Jonah got a new girlfriend named Libby." Oh yeah, I think Jonah was talking about her like two days ago. I'm very forgetful on who's dating who because literally everyone has dated Jonah except for Buffy and I. At least I think Buffy didn't date or like Jonah. "Ok, I'm pissed. Today during practice, TJ bumped into me and said 'sorry.' Like what trick is he trying to play on me?" Wait, TJ! Frick today's our tutoring sessions and I completely forgot. Oh no, he's gonna hate me.

"Guys, I gotta go. I-I have... my mom needs me." Before they can say anything I run out the door. How is someone an hour late for a tutor session?

I give a quick wave to Bex and step out the door. I start to sprint down the sidewalk as fast as I can, which isn't that fast since I'm not athletic at all.

I remember Buffy telling me that TJ lives close to her, and that they live in the same neighborhood. I can only imagine what happens if they bump into each other. Except, my imagination is probably reality since they hate each other.

Once I approached TJ's house, a red Subaru parked in front of the house. A blonde haired lady stepped out, and then the other door opened. TJ? He wasn't home, did he forget about our sessions also?

"Cyrus?" The blonde haired lady, which I assumed was his mother, went inside. TJ ran up to me, his hood bouncing with him. Was he also wearing... glasses? He is, they're thick rimmed, black glasses. And it made him look like a dork, which I didn't mind at all. It actually was very cute. Wait... what?

"U-um today's our session and I completely forgot." He chuckled and looked down.

"It's all good, wanna come inside? My mom made lemonade." I nodded and gave him a half smile. He grabs my hand and starts to lightly tug me to his front door. What type of lotion does this boy use?

When we got inside, his mom was inside the kitchen, light music playing in the background. "TJ Kippen, are you going to introduce me to your friend?" TJ chuckled and pushed me forward to his mother.

"H-hi I'm Cyrus. G-Goodman. Cyrus Goodman." I hold out my hand, and she shakes it, with her eyebrows raised.

"More manners than any of your other friends." TJ rolled his eyes but kept a small smile on his face. "So this is the infamous Cyrus Goodman my boy is always talking about?" She leans on the counter with a smirk on her face. I know that smirk very well because my mom and dad do that all the time. It's the smirk when a parents embarrasses their child and they are completely aware of it.

"Mom." TJ deadpans at her and pulls out a stool. "Do you want to sit, and I'll go grab the books?" I nod and put my bag on the floor and pull out my math textbook and notebook.

"So, Cyrus, do you want some lemonade?" I nod slowly and look at my textbook. TJ, TJ Kippen, talks about me? Behind my back?! I've never had anyone talks about me behind my back. I feel so special for some reason. "TJ does talk about you, like, a lot. He goes on and on and on about how..."

"Ok mom, that's enough." She chuckled and picked up her keys.

"Ok boys, I gotta go pick up Amber and CJ. I'll be back in ten minutes." Before she walked out the door, she turned to us. "And no funny business." Then she left. How dare she leave me in a flustered mess and TJ... TJ was frozen, pencil in hand? TJ coughed and rubbed his face with his left hand.

"I- let's just start." I nodded and looked at my paper. It is incredibly hard to focus. I thought the comment about TJ talking about me was enough to make me explode, but this is a whole other level.

A/N-
Happy Pride Month!! I cannot thank the people around me enough for all the support I've got after coming out to them. You're loved, you're appreciated, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Good Night or Good Day
-Genevieve💗🌸