I walk down the halls of Grant High School whilst clutching my notebook in my arms. I keep my head down to avoid any contact with anyone. I'm Cyrus Goodman, your anxiety ridden loser. I'm serious, I stress about everything. I can't even sit in a car without the thought of, "What if the doors don't open and we are stuck in this car without food and water?"

I want to avoid eye contact anyways. My school hallways are filled with the most obnoxious boys and girls. Especially at this time of the year. Prom campaigns have started. It's like a zoo when this happens.

There's always some sort of fight that happens in the hallways between two friends that are running for king/queen and get upset with each other because one didn't support the other. Yeah, kids are really dramatic here. It's almost like those high schools in cliche teen romance movie, but I can't control the way kids are. The basketball players are jerks, the cheerleaders (most of them) are rude and the track team is cocky. And mostly everyone in this school is in a club, or sport. Buffy, my best friend, is on the basketball team, track team and mostly every sport team. But don't worry, she's cool. Andi, my other best friend, is in an art club. Jonah, my other other best friend, he runs a frisbee team. And Iris, my ex and my other other other best friend, is on the debate team and mathletes. Then there's me, who does... nothing. I used to have dance, but that was in middle school. But now I had no choice and had to take gym, and it sucks big time.

All I really want to do in this school is graduate and spend time with my friends. All I have to do is push through the rest of Junior year and all of Senior year.

I do have to deal with minor teasing. Most kids found out about Iris and I breaking up. We broke up in eighth grade. And instead of believing the truth about it, they just assumed that she broke up with me because I am gay. Do you know how scary it is for people to make assumptions about you that you thought was a secret? That you have to pretend like it's not true? They think it's not true but they say it because they just need something to tease me with.

I came out to Buffy, Andi, and Jonah only. We were only in middle school when that happened. Buffy found out first. When Iris and I kissed, I felt nothing like I should've. I didn't feel what I felt whenever Jonah was in my presence. My heart didn't pound, my palms didn't get sweaty, my face didn't turn beet red. I told Buffy that I felt different, that I was even jealous of Jonah and Andi. And she found out, and she kept that secret with her until I told Andi. I told Andi after her and Jonah broke up. She didn't get it at first which I still laugh at if it ever come up in conversation. When she started to get it, she gave me the tightest hug I've ever had. I came out to Jonah at the Shiva. At this point, my crush on him was completely gone. I guess it was something tiny. There was one moment were I was so hyped up and ready to tell him, but I couldn't find him. And when I found him, he was having a panic attack. I knew saying, "Hey Jonah, I know this won't make you feel better but I'm gay" so I helped him through it and left the topic alone. Then he was having trouble remembering some of the food's names and who made them, and I was helping him through that when I just blurted out that I was gay. He handled it like I knew he would. He didn't start screaming and crying, he didn't yell or get mad, he responded calmly.

But those are the only people I want to know. Those people, the people who tease me, they don't know the actual truth, they just think it's a lie to tease me with. Maybe, just maybe, I'll come out and just deal with it. I mean, people get teased everyday for many different things. In my mind, those people are the strongest for just embracing who they are. I'm just not that strong.

That's also partly why I keep my head down. I'd rather them tease me without me seeing them. It's more pain in knowing what they look like and having to have their face imprinted in my mind, yelling the words "loser" at me.

So at this moment, I keep my head down. Until two pairs of feet stopped right in front of me, I know who those shoes belong to.

It weird, I know. But I literally memorized Buffy and Andi's shoes. Andi is usually wearing something that she made or something really colorful. Buffy is usually wearing sneakers, mostly Nike's. I could hear Buffy's voice rambling rapidly. But Andi decided to interrupt her even though Buffy didn't stop.

"Cyrus, head up, time for lunch." Despite what Andi says, I keep my head down. They know I'm not trying to be rude, and I'm not ignoring them. "How was math?"

"Hard, as usual but I push through."

"Well that's the Cyrus we know, always pushing through. Right Buffy?" I'm guessing Andi looked at Buffy but I can still hear her rambling.

"-and I was being as nice as possible and he's just being a sexist jerk as usual. Ugh, I thought we were done with him but nooooo... what?" Andi sighed while I giggled. I'm assuming Buffy is ranting about the one and only, TJ Kippen. He's team captain do the basket ball team. He was in middle school also, and was extremely rude to Buffy. He even got Buffy suspended from the basketball team in middle school. So they've been had this feud for a long, long time. And it's probably never going to end.

I have math with TJ. I sit right next to him, but he doesn't notice me. He doesn't speak during that class so I don't know his voice. Over time, I've been able to memorize people's voices like a football player named Klark Hans. He's a senior who teases me, and I know his voice pretty well. But TJ, I don't know his voice. Maybe he doesn't tease me, but that's a low possibility.

"Just let her rant, it'll end soon." I whispered, and Andi stifled a smile at that.

"Anyways, and Kira, which did you know that him and her are dating. They're perfect for each other, they're both rude and egotistical. She's trying to boss MY team around, and she won't give anyone the ball, not even me." Now we enter Grant High Cafeteria. The most cramped place in the whole world. The GHC have taken over part of a table. When you're popular in this school, you get part of a table. Buffy and Jonah are popular, so we got part of a table.

But today, I'm not staying in the cafeteria. Every Tuesday and Thursday, I go to the park. I sit on the swings, I eat my lunch, and just bask in the calmness of the area. I don't even swing afterwards, I just sit there until I have to go back or some parent gets mad that I'm taking over a swing and I'm not even using it. You would be surprised on how many times that has happened.

I exit the school and get on my bike. My school lets you leave for lunch. I mean, doesn't most high schools. I like having that choice, but I'm probably the only one who goes back to the school. Most kids skip, and just go home. It's so weird that some parent don't even care that their kids skip school.

When I finally arrive, no one is there. There's usually never anywhere there when I show up. Why would there be anyone here, most kids are at school anyways.

Ok, I know this sounds stupid but I have a song for when I'm on a swing. I'm not necessarily swinging, more like rocking but I guess that counts as swinging.

"Legs go up, legs go down, that's how we make the swing go round. Drag your feet, you go slow, the more you drag, the less you go..."

"Nice song." I looked to the side, my cheeks flushed.

TJ?