I didn't dare to contact neither Tobirama nor Izuna for a week.

And they didn't dare to contact me, either, it seemed.

Whenever I thought about Izuna, no matter if it was when I had breakfast in my room, or held a service in my cathedral, or had a shower, I blushed. God, had all of that really happened?

But then, suddenly, on an evening when all tourists had left, and I had no worship service or confession planned, Tobirama showed up.

I didn't notice, I was so up in my thoughts. Suddenly, he just stood behind me.

"Hi."

I jumped and turned around.

"Shit", I said.

Tobirama smiled a crooked smile.

"I agree", he said.

We walked around in my cathedral, looking at the beautiful pieces of art I was blessed to be surrounded by every day, not saying anything. We stood and looked at a painting, still not saying anything, not looking at each other.

"Were you... Okay with all of that?" I finally asked.

I looked at Tobirama, and saw he was smiling.

"Yes", he said. "We needed it. But most of all..." He turned to me. "You needed it."

I frowned.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I don't know, I just feel you seem calmer now. Your aura has changed."

I smiled lovingly at him.

"Who are you to talk about auras?" He smiled back. "But did you do that for my sake?"

Tobirama shook his head.

"No. It was for our sake. We wanted to talk to you about it, but neither of us dared. So we thought we'd invite you over for dinner and try. Please, don't be mad."

"I'm not", I said calmly.

"I am, however, afraid you feel we tricked you." Tobirama looked at me earnestly then, took both of my hands in his; a rare display of affection from him towards me. "We didn't mean to seduce you to break the rules of your religion."

I smiled.

"I am my own person, and I am responsible for my own decisions. I don't regret it."

At this, Tobirama stuck his tongue out between his teeth at me.

We started walking, the atmosphere between us milder now.

"Any words from the mystery man?" Tobirama asked.

"No", I said. "None at all."

And I knew that it was true, that what had happened between me and Izuna had opened up my heart for something else than what I was used to.

I had almost forgotten him. For real, this time. When I sat in the confessional, listening to peoples' stories, I didn't think about him. Instead, I could stay focussed on what I had in front of me, some people saying short sentences like "I cheated on my husband", some giving me the stories of their life.

However, something else had started occupying my mind. Something else had started spinning within me other than my heart's openness for love.

This is wrong.

The sacrament of penance was one of the seven sacraments of the Catholic Church, meaning someone who had sinned could get the remission of sins by confessing to a Catholic priest. But what did this truly mean? I thought about Izuna and Tobirama, how well they communicated. I realised that the sacrament of penance stopped people from talking to each other, and solving their problems together. The woman who had cheated on her husband... Didn't her husband have the right to know so he could make an informed decision on whether he wanted to leave the relationship or not? God, how many good conversations had I ruined? Or rather, prevented?

I was still sitting in the confessional, hidden from the rest of the cathedral, contemplating quitting when he finally, finally showed up.

His entrance was far less dramatic this time. Not only because it was sunny and calm outside, but also because of his behaviour. The doors to the cathedral opened, and I immediately knew it was him.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. His shoes echoed as he came in, and the doors closed behind him, but he didn't move.

"Step inside", I said.

He did.

And he came and sat in the other part of the confessional, separated from me only by the thin screen between us.

We were quiet for a while. I jumped as the church bells started to ring; I never got used of that. They rang for a minute that felt like a year, their beautiful melody making me incredibly impatient.

Finally, it stopped. I tried to listen for the man's breaths, but couldn't hear them. He was silent.

"Do you wish to speak?" I asked.

He was quiet for so long that I didn't think he would say anything. But he surprised me.

"No", he said.

His voice was dark and smooth like thick syrup.

And I respected his wishes, let him just sit there in my company, just as I sat in his.

And then, he stood up to leave.

He stood up to leave again.

And I couldn't stand it.

"Wait!" I burst out before I could stop myself; I couldn't stand losing him again.

He stopped, still standing up, waiting for me to speak. 

"Please", I said. "Please, come back."

He kept quiet. 

Then, he uttered just two words.

"I will."

He left.

And he came back.

Each and every confession, about half an hour after the last person had left, he came.

It was the same every time. He opened the cathedral door and came in to stand just inside of it. I told him to step inside. He sat down in the confessional. I asked if he wanted to speak. He said no. We sat silent. And he left. Over and over, for weeks.

My mind was spinning every day now. I wondered what his name was. I wondered about his age. I wanted to know what he looked like. But it wasn't time. Not yet.

Tobirama asked me what was wrong, but I was so nervous all the time, I couldn't tell him. I just couldn't. I could hardly sleep. I could hardly eat. And I could definitely not focus on God.

The only time I was calm, was when the man was close to me. Whenever he sat on the other side of the screen, he extended so much calm over to me that my soul melted, and I felt so much at ease it made me believe I could never, ever feel bad again, just for a moment.

The stress, however, would disappear. It would disappear as soon as he decided to speak to me.

It happened on another sunny day. After the confessions. I sat down on my own for half an hour, contemplating the fact that I should quit taking the confessions, that the fact that I couldn't was the man, because how would I otherwise meet him?

I had just decided I would talk to him about it, when he came in.

It was slightly different this time. He didn't wait for me to ask him to step inside; he did so himself. When he sat down, I heard he was crying. Not like the first time; this time was a soft snivelling.

"Do you wish to speak?" I asked.

"Yes", he said.

Then, he broke down crying.