'Just a Friend' Part 6
LAST PART(of this mini series)!!! Lemme know if your happy or sad about this. I'm sad its almost over, but happy I don't have to write it anymore XD K, thanks, and enjoy!!
PS finally some real Sabezra!!!
Vader had disappeared somewhere, and the crew quickly checked for records of Ashton's parents. It was a surprise to no one that they didn't exist. The crew then got on the ship and delivered the supplies. Kanan and Zeb pushed them out the ramp when they were above the designated area, and they watched them fall to the relieved people. Then they left, and went to Lothal. Hera knew Ezra was hurting and would prabably want to see a familiar place which was why she chose Lothal.
It was a quiet trip back. Everyone kept to themselves, giving Ezra space. He didn't spend much time in his shared room; instead, he sat in the gun-mans chair, either looking at the stars, or the picture of him and his parents. He was still processing what had happened. His very first best friend had betrayed him and his crew; it was hard for Ezra to even trust himself anymore.
Ezra's POV
"I'm a failure," I whispered to myself, wiping tears away from my face. "All of Kanan's training, out the window when I needed it most." I dissengaged the picture of my parents, and looked out at the stars. I put my hands behind my head and leaned back, sniffing. I stared at the brights balls of gas, overthinking everything that happened recently.
While moments ago my tears had stopped, they now came rushing full force down my face. I clasped my hands to my face, leaning forward, quietly sobbing. I just thought about how Sabine would feel about all this. She was going to hate me! After all those years of trying and trying to get her to notice me, when she finaly did, I turned her down. It was all my fault.
"Why?" I whispered, tears soaking my sleeves.
"Why?"
Sabine's POV
I sat on my bed, nursing my hand again. The cut I had got from punching the wall wasnt very deep, but it hurt like anything. I was wrapping bandages around it, then, when I tried to cut the tape, my tense, shaking fingers missed, and I cut myself. I slammed the newest bleeding finger in my mouth, leaving a metalic taste I was too farmiliar with.
"Mghmhghm!" I yelled through my finger. Still clutchting it, I fell back against my pillow, letting the tears fall. Today had been really awful. First when Ezra woke me up. Then when we got caught by the Empire. Then when . . . that girl . . . how she extracted information out of Ezra . . . how he LET her extraxt information out of him . . . . It made me SO mad.
But what hurt me most was that he chose her over me - in an instant. As soon as he laid eyes on her, it was like I didn't even exhist anymore. Just as we had finally been getting along, and I finally maybe started falling for the funny jedi, he left me, just like that. It tore my heart in half.
But then I thought about how I could have prevented it. I could have told him I didn't trust her. I could have been more vocal about how I thought her 'meeting a friend' was strange. Maybe if I had said something, none of this would have happened.
I clentched my eyes shut, rolling around in bed, trying to release some of the pent up anger and confusion I had.
"I'm never talking to that backstabbing Loth rat again!" I thought bitterly to myself. When I realized what I had just thought though, I couldn't stop the tears.
"Why, Ezra?" I thought, hugging myself.
"Why?"
No ones POV
They arrived at Lothal at night. Ezra immediatly left the Ghost, walked over to a cliff, sat and looked at the moon. He took a deep breath of the cool air, rubbing his hands in the soft grass. He knew he needed to think about what he was going to say to Sabine. Somehow, he had to get her to forgive him.
"Sabine, I'm so sorry, I was such a jerk, please forgive me?" He practiced aloud. An owl hooted off in the distance, and he agreed with it. That wouldn't work.
"Sabine, please forgive me, I was wrong, can we be friends again?" That was closer, but still not quit right.
"Sabine, before you say anything, I want you to know that its all my fault. I shouldn't have trusted her. I should have listened to you. I - "
"Your right, you should have."
Ezra tensed up, but had no need to turn around. He would recognize that voice anywhere.
"Sabine?" He asked sheepishly.
"Yup," she replied. She glided through the grass and stood next to him. Neither said anything, until Ezra asked,
"Uh, so how long exactly have you been here?" He rubbed the back of his head.
"Don't worry, I heard every word you said." She said emotionlessly.
Ezra was glad it was dark out so she couldnt see his blush very well.
There was a really awkward silence for a couple of minutes, Ezra sitting, Sabine sanding. Finally though, she sighed and relented, sitting next to him, but not to close. She stared at the moon as she began to speak.
"But I should have said something. I should have told someone that I thought it was suspisious what she was doing. I could have prevented this. But I was selfish. I was mad at you, so I let you do whatever you wanted, hoping it might come back to bite you." That wasn't really why she had done it, but that was all she was telling Ezra at the moment.
"I just never thought it would bite so hard."
Ezra stared at her.
"Well, even though I can tell that you didnt entirely mean that, I'm going to push that aside for now and get to the point." He took a deep breath. "This wasn't your fault. It was nobodys fault except mine."
"But if I - " Sabine tried to break in.
"No." Ezra said firmly. "No, the blame is completely on me, and not a bit on anyone but me. I shouldn't have trusted her so easily. I should have used the Force even a little bit. I had just known her for so long . . . Its so easy to trust someone you've known for a while."
Ezra shrugged bitterly.
"But I'm a jedi. Jedi can do things no other being can; sense people thoughts and motive. I should have done it then."
His voice softened.
"But instead, I'm doing it now." Sabine looked at him harshly. What was that supposed to mean?
Ezra looked at her, talking quiutly.
"What wrong, Sabine? What are you not telling me? Its ok. I promise not to tell anyone else," He said, hoping to get her to open up.
Sabine hugged herself, getting devensive.
Suddenly the air seemed colder than earlier.
"I'm fine," she said, emotionless againn.
Ezra chukled.
"Ok, number one reason I know your not 'fine'; the Force told me. Number two; you hugged yourself. You only do that when your hiding something. Number three; you said your 'fine'. So, what's wrong?" He asked simply.
Sabine looked in the opposite direction of him, quickly thinking. She really didn't want to tell him how she felt; that was just stuff she kept to herself. But she also wanted to restore their previous relationship so bad. She loved it when she and Ezra could fully trust each other, when they hid nothing from each other. It was a freeing feeling. But it also feels good to keep somethings to yourself, not let anyone know how you feel. It was a real conundrum for her.
She groaned, furiously rubbing the grass, clentching her eyes shut. And then suddenly, she felt peace. She knew what she had to do.
She turned back to Ezra, who was sitting cross-legged, playing with two pieces of grass. She smiled at that. He looked up and saw she had turned around, and quickly dropped the grass
She began speaking slowly, not sure really what to say.
"Ezra, do you want me to be frank with you?" He suddenly looked scared.
"Uh, well, I suppose, if, if you want to, that is, yeah, sure." He fumbled.
Sabine continued.
"Honestly, Ezra, in that alley; you made me feel like I was the garbage in the alley. You littterally forgot about me twice. Twice! You've never forgotten about me, ever. And then in the space of ten minutes, when our relationship had been at its best, you tore it down." She wiped tears from her eyes, looking deep into the moon.
"I went from one of the most important persons in your life, to what felt like a no one, too quickly. It really hurt me Ezra. It really did."
Ezra couldn't make himself look at her. He had failed her. And he knew it. So he talked to the ground.
"Sabine, I know I'm going to stumble through this, but please just listen to me," he started miserably.
"Your right, I hurt you. I didn't mean to, but that doesn't excuse me. I was very selfish, ignoring everyone on the crew, just so I could hang with an old friend I now know I knew nothing about." He rubbed his wet face, sighing.
"Once again, completely my fault. I feel like I can't do anything. I'm always wrong, Kanan is never proud of me, why did I think I could do this?!" He yelled to the sky.
Sabine now felt horrible that she had told him her thoughts. As much as she hated him right now, she hated seeing him like this even more. She scooted over and wrapped her arms about the huddled, shaking form.
Sniffing, Ezra turned his head, asking with his eyes closed,
"Why are you hugging me? What did I do to deserve this?" He whispered.
"Nothing," she whispered back, as Ezra put an arm around her waist. "But maybe you don't need to do anything. Maybe I can just hug you and love you as you are. Maybe your not perfect. Well, neither am I. Or Hera. Or Zeb. Or even Kanan. No one is." She leaned her head against his shoulder.
"You may make mistakes, and it might take a long time before I, or yourself, can fully trust you again. But, I'll still be here for you, every step of the way." The two simultaneously stood. Sabine looked at Ezra.
"I forgive you," she whispered. Ezra looked deep into Sabine's watery eyes.
"Will you," he started, then looked down. Sabine gently touched his cheek. He looked back up, and leaned into her touch.
"Can we be friends again?" He asked innocently. Sabine almost broke down. Eyes shining, she replied,
"Yes, of course yes, let's be friends!" And she threw herself on him. Ezra was shocked, but he held her and twirled around with her in his arms, delighted all was going to be fine.
Sappy, I know, but now its over!!! How did it go? Did I do too much Sabezra? Not enough?! I hope I made up for all those parts of non-Sabezra. I felt bad, calling it a Sabezra book, but like half the parts weren't Sabezra . . . But that will change in the near future!!
K, love ya'll, thank you SOSOSOSO much for reading this, hope you have a super sparkly day, bye!!!
~Me
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