At 22, my life is full of dreams, energy, and aspirations, just like the lives of all other self-assured, ambitious girls. My parents describe me as having a contagious enthusiasm that spreads to everyone around me. My name is Saanjh Gupta.

I am fortunate to have the most supportive parents in the entire world. My parents are the best example of a married couple who can best explain marriage. The selfless sacrifice they make for me or one another demonstrates how much they work hard to live for one another, no matter the circumstances. I can tell true love exists just by looking at how much they care for one another, and I aspire to have my love story someday. My parents call me their miracle baby because my mother had difficulties conceiving. They went over ten years without a child before a miracle led to my conception. So, when I was born, they gave me all of their love, and I couldn't have asked for anything more.

I'm a girl that is focused on her career. I am clear about what I want out of life. I've always excelled academically. I am aware of my goals for the future. I need to pursue a psychology degree after I graduate, and since this town is so tiny, I will need to relocate to a larger city to realize my aspirations. I want to work as a child psychologist, specifically with children, because happy kids can achieve greater things in life. Kids with mental health issues need to be heard, and I want to be the one who can change their lives.

And Once I've achieved everything, I'll meet my prince charming, have a few children, and then live happily ever after. But there's an obstacle. I'm a size 18, petite, voluptuous, and five feet two tall. Many people have told me that if I drop some weight, I can attract a good boy because I have a pretty face. It's a turn-off for most of the guys, but I'm confident that soon I'll meet someone who will love me for who I am. Someone out there must love me for the Saanjh that I am.

Presently, college is always a different experience. Famous people constantly need a target for bullying, and it's always me and my best friend Krunal Agarwal, who everyone calls Chashmish (One who wears spectacle). Everybody at school calls me names like "Hippo," "Elephant," and "fatso," but only Krunal is my friend who treats me as his equal, and he is always there for me. We are constantly the punchline to everyone's jokes. He desires to become a doctor.

I used to cry every day as a child since I was such a sensitive person. My mother, bless her heart, constantly gives me sound advice, saying things like, "Baby, they are not worth your time; adore a person on their personality but not their worth. Saanjh darling, you have all the attributes of a beautiful lady, but what's more significant is that you're also gorgeous on the inside, which sets you apart."

My mom wants me to be strong, but I find it impossible. From My childhood, I was a bit healthy kid, but as I entered adolescence, I started eating more junk food, and now that food is stuck inside me, even after keeping myself fit. The food was a comfort food amongst everything when people were fat shaming me.

I descend downstairs and see my mother in the kitchen preparing breakfast for me and Dad, reading newspapers. My parents are pretty old; they both are retired and now living on a pension. We are ordinary middle-class working people with modest houses.

I say "Good Morning, Maa" to my mother, who gives me the tiffin box.

I ate my favourite Paneer Paratha (flat unleavened bread made with cottage cheese), which has always been one of my favourites, as I sat at the dining table.

"Saanjh, would you like to accompany us tomorrow when we travel to our ancestral place? There, we'll be residing for about a week," says Papa.

"No, papa, I must submit a critical thesis by the end of the week, so I must stay here. You needn't worry about me; just like every year, I'll stay here alone." I reply as I finish my delicious breakfast.

"Sanju, how are you going to get by on your own?" My mother questions me, and she looks worried as usual.

I assure her, "Mummy, I'll make it."

"I had told your aunt to watch you because I knew you had college work to do. You will have her company at night. Is that alright?" My father says, and I concur. Anjali Khanna, my aunt, who is from my mother's side, is an incredible person who dislikes constraints. Hence, she lived her entire life single. My mother thinks she has an outlandish lifestyle and doesn't like it.

My aunt had a long-term relationship with a man. After ten years, they decided to end it since they didn't feel any love for one another. She now engages in casual one-night stands and is okay with it. I struggled to comprehend her way of life.

I ask her, "Okay, Mummy, when are you both leaving for your hometown?"

"We're leaving early tomorrow morning. By dusk, your aunt will arrive." After kissing my cheek, my mother replies, "I'll make the food for both lunch and dinner." She is selfless in whatever she does for everyone.

I respond, "Okay, Mom," and then walk to college.

Today at school is a typical day. I'm dressed in jeggings and a white top. As I step outside my home, I enjoy the crisp air and marvel at the breath-taking scenery. Looking around, I notice a house on my left side. The modest house next door is familiar to me. I crane my neck to catch a peek at my lifelong crush. I wait outside the house for another five minutes hoping to see him, but to my disappointment, he doesn't show up.

I give up and begin to stroll along the sidewalk. Suddenly I heard a horn, I turned to see Vikram Chauhan, the guy of my dreams, on Hartley Davidson. He is both my neighbour and my eternal crush. He is an orphan who lives alone after his parents died in an accident last year. I have yet to see somebody with a personality quite like his. He is a classmate of mine and a typical lousy lad. He is 22. He has deep, dark eyes, black hair that has been styled, and a height of roughly 6'2. His body is covered in tattoos. He is sporting a grey shirt and jeans on his thigh muscles.

He is the ideal man for all the women here, including myself. He can certainly make anyone wet. My insides begin to vibrate with various emotions. A lovely girl is sitting behind him and chewing his ears; I know it sounds disgusting, but I want to be that girl. Please understand me; I want to know what being with Vikram is like. I certainly hope it's sinful. However, he is not the man I could see leaving my life; instead, I am merely interested in discovering what engaging in wicked behaviour with a lousy lad is like. He and other guys like him can't stop at just one woman. Every day, a different chick rides his motorbike, biting his ears. Vikram hardly ever pays attention to me, so why should he? Boys like him prefer a beautiful arm candy to a fat, unattractive girl.

Walking down the hallway towards the college, I run into Krunal. I've known Krunal since we were young children. His mother was a friend of my mother's from college. We became friends right away since we both had a passion for learning.

We are good study partners, not connected in a love relationship.

"Have you read any articles on child psychology, Kru?" I ask him a question but see that Krunal has a different frame of mind today.

"Buddy, what's the matter?" I interrogate him.

He gives me a gloomy look as he says, "Nothing Saanjh."

But I'm aware that he has a problem. We both proceed to the classroom canteen. All the students are in the canteen working on their theses now. We grab our coffee and take a seat in the corner. Krunal, however, is only glancing at someone. I turn around to see the young woman who was formerly sitting on Vikram's bicycle. Krunal feels very nervous as he observes her. Aha! I know what's making him uneasy now.

"Krunal, is it about Tara?" I am aware of Krunal's long-standing crush on Tara. Regarding appearance, Tara is the college's ideal female student. She isn't the most brilliant child, but despite this, she passes and moves on to the next class, much to the lust of every lad.

"Yes," he answers.

"Tell me what happened, please." I query him.

He remarked, "I saw Tara in a compromising position with Vikram yesterday in the men's restroom," I looked at him with wide eyes. As I listen to this, my heart hurts.

"My dreams are crushed today, Saanjh," he says as he casts a blue gaze my way.

I remain silent for a while despite constantly knowing Vikram is a manwhore and experience a sharp pain in my chest. I turn to face Tara, sitting on Vikram's lap and speaking in his ear; his arms are wrapped around her waist, hugging her even more tightly. Her arms surround him.

"Krunal, they are in a relationship and can do anything they want, right? Even if it's a physical relationship, it's their choice," I attempt to persuade him.

Krunal adds, "Saanjh, you are such a naive baby. Do you think they are dating? Everyone knows Vikram treats every girl as his bitch; he only wants to use them and then throws them away like used tissue paper," and his comments cut right through me.

I offer him hiscoffee, and I say, "Eww...stop it, Kru, let's continue with ourstudies," I continue studying while we work on our thesis. However, as Ilisten to Krunal, I think about everything Vikram does. How will my body reactwhen Vikram touches me with his powerful arms and kisses me passionately? Ialways remind myself that those unrealistic goals will never be achieved.