We ended up staying there for the rest of the morning. Hindi naman siya nagkuwento at hindi niya rin ako tinanong kung bakit mag-isa akong pumunta sa Batanes. Tahimik lang kaming naupo na magkatabi roon. Nirerespeto ko ang hindi niya pagsabi sa nangyari sa asawa niya kahit ang totoo gusto ko rin malaman.

We were together but each of us had our own ghost to tryst with.

Nang napilitan kaming maghanap na ng kainan ay masaya akong pinili niyang saluhan ako sa tanghalian.

When Charles and I were in highschool, ayos lang kasi may dalawa akong kaibigan kaya kung sakaling wala si Charles, may kasama ako. Lalo na pag lunch time. Pero nang nag-college kami ay parehong sa Maynila nag-aral sina Charity and Denise. Maybe... just maybe it's one of the reasons why I took up Accountancy just like Charles did. I didn't want to be alone or have to try to make new friends. I mean... don't get me wrong, meron naman akong ibang mga kaibigan pero hindi kasing-close nila Charity at Denise dati.

Now that I've thought about it, Eli might be the first stranger I've felt comfortable with this fast, in a long time. Anyway... Mas masarap talaga kumain kapag may kasama ka.

Dahil siya naman talaga ang nakakaalam kung ano'ng masarap ay minabuti ni Eli na siya na rin ang umorder ng pagkain namin.

He literally ordered a feast for us.

"Eli, my diet's gonna be ruined!"

"Minsan lang 'to, Vashti. Sa tingin mo kailan ka pa kaya makakabalik sa Batanes?"

"Fine! Teka, adobo 'to diba?" I asked as I speared a piece of pork from my plate.

"Luñis 'yan, hindi adobo," he replied patiently. "Tingnan mo, walang sarsa. Mas maalat din 'yan at piniprito. Tikman mo."

It was a bit too salty for my taste but it was also delicious, especially when eaten with turmeric rice. Meron ding lobster, venis (Batanes-style laing), at tuyong flying fish.

Our next stop after that is the famous Honesty Store. I marveled at how the store handles its business. So basically, there was no one around to receive orders or take your money when you want to buy something. Dapat ang bibili ang maglalagay ng pera at maglilista kung ano'ng binili niya. Wala nga lang panukli kaya dapat may baon kang barya.

"May bibilhin ka ba, Vashti?"

"Hmmm... coffee? 3 in 1 lang ang meron dito eh. Wala bang brewed?"

"Maám kung ano'ng meron diyan, 'yun na 'yun," he said in a teasing way that made me laugh as well. Hinihiritan na ako ng isang 'to ah.

"Sigurado ka ba na ayaw mong balikan ang mga hindi natin napuntahan kanina?" he asked me as we got to the Homoron Blue Lagoon and White Beach.

"Oo, okay lang. Malay mo 'di ba, balang araw makapunta ako ulit dito." I said with some significance. Of course, I was too cowardly to look him in the eye. Wala naman talaga akong ibig ipa-hiwatig eh...

Our last stop for the day was the San Carlos Borromeo Church. Akalain mo, pagpasok namin, may patay na minimisahan. Awkward...

Iuuwi niya na sana ako sa hotel nang sinabi ko sa kaniya na kung puwede sana ay magtungo kami ulit sa Mt. Carmel Chapel. It is almost twilight but for some reason, that place has enchanted me.

The chapel was already closed so we sat on its threshold instead. Maginaw na talaga kaya pinagpasalamat ko na dala ko ang jacket ko.

"Masaya ka naman sa bakasyon mo rito sa Batanes?" tanong niya.

"Oo naman! Alam mo ba mula nang 2015 pangarap ko na talagang pumunta rito. Ngayon lang talaga natuloy."

"I've been wanting to come back here since 2015."

Tumingin ako sa kaniya dahil iniisip ko na sinasakyan niya lang ako pero seryoso naman siya.

"Eloisa and I graduated in 2015 but we got married shortly before that. My wife didn't want to come back here. She had always wanted to leave this place. Bata pa lang kami ay 'yun na talaga ang pangarap niya. Kaya nang magkaroon siya ng magandang trabaho sa Maynila... Dinala niya na rin doon ang mga magulang niya."

"But... if you really wanted to come home, why didn't you? Sinabi mo ba sa kaniya?"

Hindi ko masyadong maintindihan ang sinasabi ni Eli, paano nangyari na hindi man lang niya sinabi sa asawa niya ang gusto niyang mangyari? Bakit naman hindi siya pagbibigyan ni Eloisa kung sakali?

I suddenly thought about my relationship with Charles. I had never thought about being at odds with him regarding decisions but... the realization suddenly hit me. I've never had opposing opinions with him because it seems like I never had preferences of my own. I've tailored my choices and opinions to Charles', even though he had never asked me to. I was so incredibly pathetic. It's a wonder Charles didn't grow tired of me. He didn't, did he? I shook my head and concentrated on what Eli was saying instead.

"I did tell her, and I did come home a few times by myself. But that became a problem in our relationship," he continued and then stopped. Napahaba yata ang pagku-kuwento kaysa sa nakasanayan niya. "Ikaw? Ba't ka nandito? Hinahanap mo ba ang sarili mo?"

He was just joking but he stopped smiling when he saw my face.

"My fiancé, well... my ex- fiancé, I guess... died a year ago. Dapat ay dalawa kaming pupunta rito pero... namatay siya."

"Damn it, Vashti, I'm sorry," he spoke those words in a way that didn't make it feel like he was just saying it because he didn't know what else to comfort me with.

"I'm not gonna say it's okay, because it's not..." My voice cracked a little so I took a few moments to compose myself before I continued, "Eli, he took his own life. My fiancé killed himself and I don't even know why..."