I sat in one corner, my hands and feet numb as Dayima bathed and shrouded Maa. Seher Khala was helping her. A few other ladies from around the neighborhood had gathered. People were trying to comfort me, someone gave me a glass of water but nothing registered. I was no less than a statue, having the lost the capability to think and feel. I wasn't in pain, there were no tears, there was nothing at all!

Everything was happening so fast, it was a blur. It was already afternoon and Saira tried to feed me a few morsels. When the food did not pass my throat she gave up.

"You haven't eaten anything since yesterday Saeed"

I did not reply. I hadn't used my vocal cords since last night. I did not even know if they existed anymore. Dayima walked to the corner which I had glued myself to.

"Mayera, say your last goodbye. They are taking her away"

Her meant my mother. The woman who had brought me into this world. The woman who was my world. And now she was going away... forever! It was then that the magnitude of grief hit me. Her comforting presence will no longer be felt around the house. She was no longer there to love me, guide me, scold me and put me right. She was my only family. My sole support. No matter how many people claimed love for me, they would never be able to match hers. Every corner of the house will remind me of her. Every article will tell her story. My life was filled with her presence. How will I survive now?

I looked at her peaceful face, hoping she had gone to a better place and finally free from all the pain. A void settled in. I was married and had lost my mother in the same night. Happiness and grief went together in life. Where you find one, the other would undoubtedly follow.

"Saeed!" I was wrapped in a bear hug before I could register who had called. Finally when she let me go I saw Meher. "I am really sorry about your mother. I can't imagine your pain. You took away all my pains and I pray Allah takes away all of yours". She cried bitterly. I hadn't shed a single tear myself. They just wouldn't come. My body had stopped responding to everything. I was in shock. I just sighed as she rubbed my arm. There was another woman beside her I didn't recognize. Catching my gaze Meher introduced her.

"This is my mother, Nilofer. Now that Mir Jafar is gone my family has been released from their jail. They can move around freely with no tabs on them. All thanks to you".

Nilofer Khala spoke words of comfort but like many before her they had no effect. Seher Khala entered and stood stock-still at the sight of Meher and Nilofer.

"Nilofer....", she advanced slowly unable to believe she was meeting her long lost sister-in-law.

Nilofer khala stood up and opened her arms. "Seher. At last". They hugged each other and cried their hearts out. Seher Khala took Meher in her embrace as well. "You have grown so much. You were just a little girl when you shifted to the Shahi housing".

At least one family had united over the excuse of Maa's passing away.

"It's time our husbands met as well", said Nilofer Khala.

"Yes I cannot bear to see Hamid cry anymore. Bring Javed Bhai straight over to our house after Isha Salah".

As the night fell people cleared out. I was left alone with Saira and Dayima. They both would do anything for me but they couldn't replace my loss. Only one person could truly help me feel better but he was off doing his duty as a king. Not that I was complaining, I knew the price for being the wife of Shehenshah.

"Saeed, eat something". Saira placed a plate before me. I tried eating just to please her. She looked at me waiting for me to speak. But I was in no mood of doing so.

"Zain is here, he wants to speak to you". I just nod to let her know he can be sent in.

"Assalamualaikum Saeed"

"Walaikumassalam". My voice sounded unnatural from lack of use.

"There is nothing that can be done except sabr (patience) Saeed".

I simply nodded.

"Is there anything I can do to help you?"

I shook my head.

"Its not safe for you to stay all by yourself let alone live your life all by yourself. Is your answer still a no?"

He obviously didn't know I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life all by myself.

"Yes"

He sighed. "I guess all dreams do not come true in this life. Anyway, you had asked me about a particular tapestry. I found the entries".

I looked up interested. "Who was he?"

"He had given his name as Asim but his real name is Khan Baba"

"How do you know that?"

"Our assistant at that time was a wise old man. Next to the name Asim he has put a small note stating Asim and Khan Baba are versions of the same person"

"He ordered the tapestry to be made?", I asked to confirm.

"Yes. And to be delivered to Mahmood Hassan".

"When was it made?"

"5 years ago"

This is a very good piece of information. Khan Baba had disappeared 11 years ago. If he had ordered for a tapestry 5 years ago then he was somewhere about.

"Where do you think I can find him?"

"I knew you would be interested in that so I went a overboard and did more research. Apparently a man of Khan Baba's descriptions is seen over the wilderness. Some people call him a genie while others just consider it to be a mirage. But people who knew him will understand its neither a genie nor a mirage".

Dayima served our guest some tea.

"I can't thank you enough for all the information you have given me. It was very useful".

"What exactly are you doing Saeed? Working undercover for the Shehenshah?"

"Something like that".

"All the best and take care"

He stood up to leave and Dayima escorted him out. Saira took her place next to me.

"Zakwan told me Shehenshah was at your mother's funeral prayer. He might come to give his condolences".

No one knew about my little nikah ceremony yesterday except Hakeem Hamid and Hammad Chachu. I was in no mood of enlightening Saira. Little did she know I expected more than just condolences from Shehenshah. I offered my salah trying to find peace through it.

Had it been any other day the information on Khan Baba would have made me ecstatic. Today it did little to lighten my mood. I had lost all interest. I did not want to eat, drink, talk and think.

"Assalamualaikum", greeted Hammad Chachu.

"Walaikumassalam", I replied barely audible.

"I am sure you have already heard a lot about being patient and a number of other advises. But nothing will help you overcome this pain Saeed. You will just have to learn to live with it. Even 50 years from now when you think of your mother the pain will just resurface. It will not have disappeared. It will stay deep inside. Just learn to live with it".

This is the best way someone has put it to me.

"Just learn to live with it", I repeated to myself. The grief was building in me. Hopelessness, pain, anguish, misery and desperation were making them self known.

"Allah is the one who gives us blessings and if he takes them away then it's his wish. Everything belongs to him and the owner can do what he likes. And whatever he does, he always has a reason".

When I continued to brood he continued, "At least your Maa got her last wish. She saw you married. Aren't you wondering where your husband is?" He gave me a teasing smile. My heartbeat went up a notch.

"Yes"

"I must say he is the most miserable person on the face of the earth. He will happily give the throne to Mir Faseeh just to spend a moment with you".

That should have made me smile but I have forgotten how to.

"Then shouldn't he be here by my side?"

"Mir Jafar and his two sons escaped the kingdom last night from the passage in the forest that we had discovered. On thorough investigation we have come up with documents that suggest that he has teamed up with Shehenshah Fuzail of Waraqi Sultanath and they will shortly be attacking our kingdom. Mir Faseeh knows all the details of our military and by now all the information must have been readily placed in our enemy's hand. Shehenshah is preparing for a war Saeed. Much as he would like to stay by your side his duty as a king comes first".

In a moment I realized my folly and felt ashamed of myself. No matter how much I had pretended to be unaffected by Shehenshah's absence it had still been hurting me. Now I knew why he wasn't here. He had worked hard for his crown and had been patient for his love. After he had achieved both he hadn't a moment's peace to indulge himself in his success. A war was looming ahead. Another challenge on the horizon. And here I was! A Malika! Who was becoming a reason for his weakness than becoming his strength.

"He sent a message for you". Hammad Chachu handed me a letter.

My beloved Mayera,

Loss of a mother is one of life's most terrible tests. I know how much you loved her and how attached you were to her. Your pain cannot be written down in words. But I also know my strong wife. A girl who lived through the loss of her father, who fought to make her own way through life, to accomplish the task her father her left her. Even a man's courage will pale in front of yours. Do not let another loss seep in and destroy a decade's worth of valour. Surely a woman who taught me to live doesn't need a lesson on life herself.

Life is just one test after the other. Get up and ready to face the next one. Do not allow one grief to hold you back.

My love for you can snatch sleep from my eyes and peace from my heart. Even though every breath of air without you is a torture on my soul I shall happily take it for my people and my kingdom. My heart craves to shoulder you and hug you tight till every last grain of misery squeezes out but my duty separates me from you and so it shall be till we meet again.

Forever yours

That is all I needed to hear. A fire flamed in my heart. Yes my Maa wasn't beside me but my life hadn't come to an end yet. I stood up resolutely.

"Saeed, where are you going?"

"To do my part in the war. Shouldn't you be preparing as well Hammad Chachu?"

He got up and secured his weapons. "We need to reform all the military tactics Mir Faseeh had shaped".

"You go ahead and do that while I go ahead and do something entirely different"

"And what is that Saeed?"

"You will know shortly".