My hands shake as I open the pouch and unfold the letter.

Respected Hakeem Hamid,

In the name of Allah the most beneficent and the most merciful. May Allah's mercy and blessings be on the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)

Assalamualaikum warahmathullahi wabarakatuh

Alhamdulillah, I am fine here and hope the same from you and your family. Waraqi Sultanath is prospering and Shehenshah Fuzail is as best as a Shehenshah could be. Apart from the shortage of coal and oil there is nothing we can complain of.

You had been so kind as to discuss your methods of treatment with me and also asked regarding an ailing woman. I have come across her condition five times during my life so far. As long as the nabz* is azeem and mutawatir recovery can be expected. Once it becomes bati and zayeef, there is little that can be done. We can still continue the treatment and hope for the best.

Continue the herbs you had mentioned and add Kasini* and Suranjan*. May Allah give her shifa. Has your Shehenshah been crowned yet? Will he continue the policy of allowing traders once in 6 months? Can you ask him to increase the frequency so that both our kingdoms benefit from it?

Looking forward to your reply

Yours truly,
Hakeem Afsar Sadiq

I look up at Hakeem Hamid and he is observing me keenly. He is already expecting the question I want to ask him but my throat is too dry.

He continues to look at me waiting. I swallow.

"What is the condition of Maa's nabz now?" My voice shakes.

"Saeed, you should understand that nothing is in our hands. Trust Allah's decisions....."

He doesn't even have to complete the sentence for me. I already know the answer and my hands and feet go numb.

"Last time I checked her nabz was zayeef but hadn't progressed to bati. I am clearly placing the facts before you and giving no room for false hopes. But know miracles do happen when we least expect".

I nod as my tongue fails to support my speech. Nothing registers as Maa's smiling picture fills my mind. What if I could no longer see that smile? NO! I start hyperventilating! My chest contracts and I heave trying to take in more air struggling to breath. Unable to control I run out in to the open and gulp huge amounts of air. Hakeem Hamid comes running behind me.

"Take in deep breaths. Relax. Everything happens according to Allah's will. We are but slaves. We trust his decisions and accept whatever he puts our way. I'll give you Kasini and Suranjan while you leave. Start them from tomorrow morning. This is not the end little one"

My breathing is now close to normal. This is the first time I had faced a panic attack. I do trust Allah's decisions but being a weak human being I am vulnerable to pain, grief and fear. Trust in Allah helps me cope with them but does not entirely take them away.

I sit on a stool and give a lot of thought. What was the primary goal of my life? To prepare for my death. Was I doing it? I was trying my best. What was my secondary goal? To bring Mir Jafar to justice, help Shehzada and save my kingdom. Was I doing it? Yes. When I was working towards my goals then why was I getting this empty feeling in my stomach? Like as if something is wrong! It's because you had become so focused with your goals you failed to give your ailing mother enough time, my conscience says. Hadn't I been too selfish? Always thinking about what I wanted to do and never once considering what Maa wanted. Maybe if I had fulfilled her desires she would have found the strength to recover. Was I indirectly responsible for her deteriorating health? Maybe I was. Guilt pricks me hard. Tears sting my eyes. I'll have to give her more time I decide.

"Saeed, Seher has dinner ready. Eat something before Hammad Khan joins us so we can go the Shahi Jungle"

I enter the house from the matab and find a delicious dinner waiting for me. Seher Khala comes to hug me and kisses my forehead.

"You have too much of responsibility on your little head. What Hakeem Afsar has said is not the last word sweetheart. Allah does not send a disease without a cure. Don't let that grief burden your tiny heart. Let things run the way they are running, OK?"

I nod.

Her words re-ignite all the emotions I had been locking away. Like a volcano they try to erupt. No, I can't be so weak and succumb this way. I turn my face away from her.

Sitting on the dastarkhan* I try to eat. Had I been the same cheerful girl I was this morning, I would have enjoyed the food. A single morsel doesn't go down my throat without drinking water. I push away all the emotions and concentrate on the food before me. There is tandoori roti, mughlai kebabs and roasted fish while I had given Shehzada dried naan and soup. Shehzada! Shehzada! Shehzada! How does he manage to enter my thoughts even when I am in the depths of despair? Anger boiled inside me! He was eating his way into my brain. This was too much! How had I given him the access? It's time I cut it off and gave Maa the time and love she deserved. Shehzada is the reason I was neglecting Maa. It's time I corrected this mistake.

I give up trying to eat and wash my hands. After my salah I join Hakeem Hamid and Hammad Chachu in the matab, they are having an animated conversation.

"Shehzada was at the Jamia Masjid the whole day today. He is taking as much coaching as he can from Hazrathji. It's doing him a lot of good", Hammad Chachu says.

So, that's why he wasn't at his chambers. He had left early for the Jamia Masjid.

"How are you?", he asks spotting me.

"Alhamdulillah"

"Did you give Shehzada his food?"

"I left it on his table with a note. He wasn't there"

"How is your Maa?"

I look at Hakeem Hamid and sigh. Thankfully he understands and answers instead of me.

"According to Hakeem Afsar Sadiq her condition has progressed to a stage from where recovery is difficult. But you know for a God that can remove life from death and death from life nothing is impossible".

Hammad Chachu looks at me with concern. He knows how attached I am to Maa as she is the only family I had left in the whole wide world. The environment takes a dip as despair clutches all our hearts.

"You know what happened?", asks Hakeem Hamid excitedly to lighten our moods.

"What?" asks Hammad Chachu mirroring his excitement. I know they are doing this just to bring a smile on my face. May Allah bless them.

"Saeed punched the life out of Zain today. The poor fellow is terrified of her now. Looks like the match stands cancelled Hammad"

"Did you really? Finally you are free of him aren't you? That's what you wanted!", he says happily.

I give a weak smile.

Little does he know, now I am ready to even marry Zain if that will restore Maa's health.

We walk to the forest with lamps and daggers.

"What do you think is in the trap door?", asks Hakeem Hamid.

"I am clueless. I just know one opening in the jungle that leads to Shehzada's present room in the palace. About this trapdoor I can say nothing. Do you really think rumours about jinns were started to to keep the general public away?"

"I am very much sure. I was talking to Aaminah's great grandfather the other day when I had gone to check on Falah. He said he can't recall any such rumours during his childhood. This is a recent development, say from the past 15 years", says Hakeem Hamid.

I quietly listen to their talk taking no part in the conversation myself. We are in dense part of the jungle. Night sounds of the jungle are creepy. Guided by the oil lamp held by Hakeem Hamid leading us in front and the lamp I am holding behind Hammad Chachu are the only sources of light.

"We need to bend through the foliage here. Hold the lamp Hammad while I crawl through"

He goes through and Hammad Chachu hands him the lamp from below. I crawl through as well after handing the lamp. We gather on the other side and have a good look around.

"I have never been here", says Hammad Chachu. His voice sounds weird in the wilderness. Meanwhile Hakeem Hamid is trying to locate the iron ring he says he had noticed. Even I help him. Thick darkness of the night makes it even more difficult.

"Saeed, you look on that side while I look here"

I bend looking closely. Hakeem Hamid gives a shout.

"I found it!"

We troop by him. Hammad Chachu tries to lift it.

"Give me a hand Hamid"

I hold both the lamps while they lift it open. It creaks which means its not regularly used. I shine the lamps over it. There is a drop below. Approximately 10 feet deep.

"There should be a ladder somewhere. Whoever is using this should have made arrangements for that. Give me one lamp, I'll search with that while you search with the other one"

He groped around the corners of the trapdoor.

"Here, I found a rope attached to the footing here. It's not a ladder they use. It's a rope. Shine the lamp here"

The rope was folded into the footing. I untie it and it falls down dangling.

"Who will go first?", asks Hakeem Hamid

"I will", I say. Though both of them do not like the idea of me descending first they allow me, just because they don't want to upset me after the letter.

I hold the edge of the opening in the ground and enter. My hands tightly holding the edge and my feet dangling to find the rope. I tightly fasten my toes on the rope and let go of one hand from the edge of the ground and use it to catch the rope. Soon I let go off the other hand as well and hold the rope with it. Both my hands and feet securely holding the rope now I start my descent as Hammad Chachu lights my path from above. I am down in seconds. I cautiously peer about. There is nothing I can see. What if I am attacked? Is anyone down here? I keep a firm hold on my dagger and wait. If anyone was here they should have attacked me by now. If they are planning to just sit in a corner and watch the show, let them. I'll be ready to fight them when they finally decide to show themselves.

"Everything fine down there?"

"Yes. Tie the lamps to the rope and let them down", I shout looking up. My voice ehoes reverbrating in the closed space making me jump. I untie the lamps and hold them from below lighting the way for Hammad Chachu and Hakeem Hamid to descend.

Finally all three of us are down below and start our exploration. It is a roughly dug out enclosure. The walls are not straight and slope upwards and downwards like as if someone had done it in a hurry and just created enough space required by them. It could just accomodate 4 standing adults. There are just two interesting things in here. One is a small trunk which is locked and placed away in a corner. And the other is a small tunnel which is leading away from this enclosure. Only one adult at a time could crawl through the tunnel.

"What do you suppose this is?", asks Hammad Chachu

"I must admit I am surprised. Why would anyone take the pains of creating this hole? And where does this tunnel to? We should try to unlock that trunk"

"Be careful don't damage it", I say. "If there is no one here then we don't want them to know there had been intruders here when they return".

No matter how much we try we cannot open the lock. We had not even carried any instruments with us that could help us pick the lock. After giving multiple tries we give up.

"I think we should return again just to checkout this trunk", Hakeem Hamid says.

"If we are lucky enough to find this place empty one more time", I reply.

"Lets go through this tunnel and see where it leads", Hammad Chachu says.

This time Hammad Chachu leads us. He holds the handle of the lamp in his mouth and crawls on all fours follwed by me and Hakeem Hamid. The tunnel just goes on. When I think it is never going to end Hammad Chachu finally comes to a stop. He places the lamp on the ground.

"I think this is it. I'll see how I can open this"

I hold up the lamp so he can have a good look. There is no latch or anything out of the place that could be used as a switch.

"Run your hands over the surface", suggests Hakeem Hamid.

He runs his hands and suddenly he jerks his hand back with a yowl.

"There is something sharp in there"

I hold the lamp close. There is a tiny little pin like sharp thing in the corner.

"What do you think we are supposed to do?"

"I think you need to pull or push it with a covering on your fingers", I hand him the small scarf that was holding the dagger on my waist. It was getting suffocating in here. He pushes it with the cloth of his fingers and nothing happens. He then holds the tiny sharp pin between his index and thumb and pulls it. There is gurgling sound as the wooden plank falls forward revealing darkness.

"Hide the lamps behind Saeed. Quick cover the light"

We wait to see if anyone confronts us or attacks us. There is no response.

"I'll enter in there in the dark and check out. You both wait here"

**************************************************************************************************

Mir Tabrez walks to the servant quarters resolutely. His spies were giving him no information except Shehzada enters the room, or leaves the room or takes his classes, or trains with Ali or goes to Harem to meet his mother.

There was more going on and he had to find out what it is and find out right now! He walks to the Shehzada's chambers in the servant quarters and has a good look around. There is nothing amiss. Servants are going about their daily routine. Coming in and out of their rooms, eating and resting. Ali stood guard in front of the Shehzada's room as usual. That meant Shehzada was inside. What did he do inside all day? He had to find out. To enter the room he had to distract Ali. He smiles as a plan takes shape in his head. He calls his spies.

"What is the heaviest thing around?", he asks them.

"Army cannon balls that were stored here a few weeks ago"

"I want you to pretend to shift those balls from one room to another. 5 people together try to raise it and make as much noise as you can shouting and screaming directions and attract the attention of Ali. Once he approaches you make such an issue out of it that he is compelled to shift them himself just to stop the ruckus. That will give me enough time to do what I want to do"

He waits behind the pillar waiting for the commotion to begin.

"You fool, what are you doing?"

"Carry it this way"

"It will fall on someones feet"

"You are as pathetic as a newborn baby sucking his thumb! Fit for nothing!"

"I am telling you carry it like this or we all will have crushed toes"

"Aaaaaaarrrgggghhhhh! Why did you have to clout me, you fool?"

"Because you are making a commotion out of nothing! Just carry it like this and we will be able to take it out"

"Look he is actually crying! What a baby! Did you loose your toy dear boy? Didn't your Maa give you enough milk?"

"Don't you dare make fun of me! Come here and hold this thing and take it to the store room. Let's see if you can do that. It is very easy to stand and comment"

That is all it needed. Ali's curiosity was ignited beyond the point of suppression, not to mention how irritating the noise was. He follows the noise to see what was up. Mir Tabrez quietly steps in to Shehzada's room. It is empty! Hah! He was right! Shehzada was not in his room when they thought he was. Where was he? How did he leave his room? What was he doing?

He had a good look aroung the room, looking behind the curtains and under the bed. There is nothing much in the room to look at. It's very small and simple. He tries opening the trunk, it is locked. His eye catches a bag on the table, he approaches it. There is a note as well. He hears approaching voices and afraid of being caught he takes the bag and note and runs away!

***************************************************************************************************

FOOTNOTE

*Nabz- Pulse
*Mutawatir, Azeem, Bati, Zayeef- Different types of pulse
*Kasini, Suranjan: Herbal drugs
*Dastarkhan- Food spread

A/N

The concept of fear in Islam

Let us agree that fear is a natural instinct that emerges as a reaction to danger, whether it be fear of death, poverty or the unknown. It's a driving force that keeps you away from harm and helps you stay safe. Though these feelings are natural, one can learn to control them and perhaps, one day, find a reason to feel no fear.

A simple solution to fear and grief can be extracted from the following hadith:

Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) says: "How amazing is the case of believer. There is good for him in everything. And this is not the case with anyone except the believer. If prosperity attends him, he expresses gratitude to God, and that is good for him; and if adversity befalls him, he endures it patiently and that is good for him."

What a beautiful way to overcome fear or any kind of loss. Just trust Allah's decisions and know whatever the situation it's always win-win! There is no question of losing even if it looks like a loss to our mortal eyes.

So you see, fear, in truth, is a state of mind, depending on how you perceive the effect of a particular action upon you. If you believe all that will happen to you is good, then the reason of fear is greatly diminished and perhaps non-existent.

And then there is the fear (Khashiyat) of Allah. Numerous places in Quran Allah has asked mankind to fear him. What is the meaning of this fear? It means to give up sins in the awe of his majesty.

For example: a child fearing his mother does not reach for the candies even if they are placed before him. In the same way a believer is expected not to reach out for sins with Allah watching over him all the time.

If you find watching the latest movie or listening to music or backbiting in a gathering as easy as a pie then, beware my friend! There is something wrong.

Therefore fear not men but fear Me; (5:45)

so fear them not, but fear Me (2:151)

Me alone should you fear (2:41)

And what is the benefit of fearing Allah? The answer is in the following verse:

The life of this world is made to appear attractive to those who disbelieve; and they scoff at those who believe. But those who fear God shall be above them on the Day of Resurrection; and Allah bestows His gifts on whomsoever He pleases without reckoning (2:213)

#####To help us overcome the fear of poverty I recommend recitation of Surah Waqiyah everyday after maghrib.

The Prophet(SAW) said, 'Whoever recites surah al Waqiah at night would never encounter poverty' [Ibn Sunni 620]

The Prophet(SAW) said, 'Surah al Waqiah is the Surah of Wealth, so recite it and teach it to your children' [Ibn Asakir]

It is narrated from Ibn Katheer: Abdullah ibn Mas'ud, (May Allah be pleased with him) was suffering from great illness and that was his final moments, mean while Amirul Mu'min Uthman Ghani (Radhi Allahu anhu) was there to give him a visit. There conversation went like:

Uthman (radhi Allahu anhu): what is your illness?

Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud, (May Allah be pleased with him): My sins are all the root cause of my pain {illness}.

Uthman (radhi Allahu anhu): what is your desire {final desire}?

Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud, May Allah be pleased with him: I seek the mercy and blessings of my Lord, Allah azza wa jal.

Uthman (radhi Allahu anhu): may I call a doctor for you?

Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud, (May Allah be pleased with him): the doctors have made me ill.

Uthman (radhi Allahu anhu): may I send some gift from the Baitul Maal, the government stock?

Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud, (May Allah be pleased with him): thank you, no need

Uthman (radhi Allahu anhu): but please let me do that for you. These might help your daughters after you {your death}.

Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud, (May Allah be pleased with him): Do you think that after my death my daughters going to face poverty and hunger? I don't think so, because I've strictly instructed my daughters to recite Sura Waqiah every night. I've heard, Prophet salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam saying: one who will recite sura Waqiah every night, will never be needy/poor.

#####To help us deal with fear of enemies or attack I recommend the following dua. It's details and source is also mentioned within. You can download the PDF or audio from the following website.

https://www.google.co.in/amp/pdfbooksfree.pk/dua-e-hazrat-anas-bin-malik-r-a/amp/?client=browser

It is my personal experience this dua has given me the strength to not only overcome my fear but to face my enemies as well. Now you must be wondering what fears could I have faced? Well, to that I would like to say we all have our own stories.

#####When the ummah at large fears harm then the following dua is advised:

http://www.islaam.org/Qunoot/qunoot-e-nazilah.htm

It is called Dua-e-Qunoot-e-Naazilah. Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) used to read in the fajr salah. It is usually advised for men offering salah in Jamaat. However man or woman offering the salah alone can also read it. The procedure to be followed is also mentioned in the above link. If you cannot do that then you can also recite it outside salah just like any other dua. Seeing the present condition of the ummah today it is an absolute must that we all develop the habit of reciting this dua. Please do! It will just take 2 minutes of your time.

Now coming to the story, are your hearts thudding? ;) ;p

Keep learning, improving and enjoying!

Lots of love!

Dr Mystic