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Jeongguk slapped Taehyung.

"Stop pitting yourself and grow up for once!", it wasn't tragic, the camera had witnessed it too. Jeongguk might've tried remaining calm, he always had, but something didn't feel right. He wasn't sure if it was about Taehyung or himself, but the thing the other had said, definitely pulled a trigger.

It had started a few minutes ago, when Jeongguk had walked back inside the venue after facing yet another breakdown, wiping his hands with a tissue paper, making it seem like he had used the restroom for real. He wasn't in his best state then, the ability of looking through his camera had jumped out of the window, and he was shaking for a very unknown reason. And then the question dropped like a missile, leaving another hole in his conscience, weakening his rationality. 'Do you have any Tattoos?'

Taehyung had shook his head, with a slight frown, that matched his demeanour then. However, right now, he looked anything but intimidating. His eyes were fixed on the carpet, as his nose flared in humiliation, but somewhere, he knew he deserved it. The slap, that is.

'Will you ever have a tattoo in future?'
'Do I wanna be a freak in near future? lol no! Tattoos are stupid.'

Jeongguk had heard it a many times, and the same thing coming out of Taehyung's mouth shouldn't have affected him. But it did. He remembers living up to a lie for years, a word of him killing his best friend's mother, it haunted him, cause he believed it. He remembers what happened to his sister, and what had happened to them later.

Even now, Jeongguk had realised why Taehyung was bad mouthing him, taunting him, as if, he had never liked him. Maybe he hadn't.

"You're sick!", he whispered and stormed outside, not minding how his colleagues called out to him. He wanted to be alone.

Taehyung was probably outraged, because Jeongguk soon felt a harsh pull on his arm, that dragged him in a green room. "You don't talk to me like that."

Jeongguk was crying, and he felt stupid because he was. His legs were trembling and he knew if he didn't leave the venue right then, he might get an anxiety stroke in front of Taehyung.

"Let go." ,he whispered softly, fighting a battle within, that made him feel, as if, his brain might burst apart.

"Did I ever mention you Jeongguk? in anything I said?", Jeongguk felt the older's grip around his arm tighten, as he roughly got shook and slammed against a wall, "Speak, dammit!"

"L-let go.."

"No! You don't get to treat me like dust Jeongguk, i've been in love with you for so long, and all I get is a stupid cold shoulder, that I certainly do not deserve."

Jeongguk promised himself that he wouldn't break down, for his argument had yet not been placed. His eyes twitched as he kneed Taehyung, and blew a punch on his face.

"You didn't even look at me before we started talking on that stupid app, hell, you never knew if I was skipping meals. You never fucking cared. And me? Bitch you talk about long when you don't even know since when I've been in love with you.", Jeongguk kicked Taehyung in the gut and received a punch back.

"You do not love me Jeongguk! Fucking ouch!"

"And you know me better than I know myself?", jungkook crouched down in front of Taehyung and slapped him again, "You're the most self centred person I've ever met."

Jeongguk was going to stand up when he felt himself being dragged down. Soon, he was struggling to crawl away, as Taehyung held his leg and slammed him down, crawling on top of him, as both of his hands dug deeper in the younger's arms. Jeongguk felt small, he wanted to fight back but he couldn't. Taehyung looked like a wolf who was about to snap his bones one after the other, and all he'd be able to do was cry and cry until he couldn't.

"How am I self centred Jeongguk? How the fuck am I self centred?"

Jeongguk broke down, as his body shook from a sudden fear. He was so very anxious, and the rising guilt was consuming him as a whole.

"T-taehyung p-p-please... I'm sorry!"

"What the fuck are you sorry about?", Jeongguk trembled and continued crying, his vision completely blurry from the overflowing tears, as his body felt numb and head heavy. He didn't care if Taehyung punched him now, his mind was occupied with things that were barely foreign to him.

"I didn't mean to kill your mother, -I didn't mean to. T-tattoos are so- so- stupid, I'm so stupid... I'm so mean, i'm so sorry." ,His voice trembled as he sobbed harder.

"J-jeongguk...", Taehyung was shaking him, trying to pull him out from the dark hole, "... Guk, it's okay! You didn't do anything, it was never your fault."

Taehyung didn't realise he had pushed a sensitive spot, maybe he had been too selfish, but seeing Jeongguk cry like that, only worsened his attitude about self decision making.

Jeongguk was having an anxiety attack. He couldn't breathe anymore, his oxygen intake had lowered drastically, and he felt his body loosing control, as if, it never belonged to him. His chest felt heavier than it already was, and his vision got blurrier. He felt sick, but he didn't, it all felt like a nightmare, probably sleeping paralysis, but something told him it was worse. It wasn't his first, so he knew what to do, just a little, but it still came in handy.

By now, Taehyung had crawled away, crying in a corner. Jeongguk looked at him, trying to blink away his tears, as his eyes landed on the bracelet hanging loosely on Taehyung's wrist, following by his expensive looking shirt. Jeongguk wasn't checking him out, he was trying to pull himself together.

His fingers dug deeper in his skin as he tried harder to sense them. When he finally did, they instantly went to reach for something, anything.

Taehyung had probably seen him struggling, because he had shakily held his hand, as his eyes kept watering.

Jeongguk then thought of his sister, trying hard to recollect a beautiful memory of the two. With his shaking limbs, he barely could think of anything, but when his eyes again landed on the crying boy, he recollected them playing in a children's park.

By now his crying and anxiety had ceased down. So he pulled his hand away from Taehyung's and rolled away.

"S-sorry!", he whispered not because he actually was, but because he felt miserable about the fact that the other had to see it. He wasn't guilty, it wasn't his fault.

"Jeongguk, you didn't kill her.", Taehyung whispered softly and buried his face in between his thighs, as his hands circled them.

"I know.", said Jeongguk, eyes roaming around the room as he tried to not speak his thoughts out, "Taeyang lost his sister, you're no exception Taehyung. Your life isn't even close to being a complete disaster, people are having it worse."

Taehyung was crying, Jeongguk knew because he could hear his hiccups faintly.

"When Soyeon's video went viral in school, I wasn't there to comfort her. And I expected her to accept me when I came out in front of her.", Jeongguk sighed and folded his legs, placing his hands on his lap, as he played with his fingers, "I was a horrible brother. But I was never a horrible friend."

"I know these tattoos are pretty freakish, but they've helped me a lot, and I still can't feel a bit proud of them.", he sighed and looked down, "I wanted to get rid of my feelings towards you, and that is why I made an account on that app. I wanted to find out if I was actually gay, because except you, I never liked anyone, not even my girlfriend."

"How does it feel Taehyung? Beating someone for being a fag only to find out that you're a fag yourself. Does it feel nice?"

Jeongguk wasn't supposed to say all that. He knew he was being mean, but he couldn't stop the words from escaping his mouth. They were harsh, but somehow relieving.

"My sister almost got abducted, do you realise how serious this is?", Jeongguk was crying again, small tears falling simultaneously, "T-that night, on your drama startup party, I saw a girl,"

", I knew I had seen her somewhere, and throughout the night, I couldn't stop thinking about her. Unluckily, I did realise who she was.", Jeongguk tried to chuckle through his cries, "She had texted me on that app, her grammar was so poor," ,he snickered.

"She had told me that she was dating you, which I knew was not true. So when I saw Jay drugging her drink, I didn't inform anyone about it. Not my sister, Taeyang, or the secret officers in the party. I saw him drag her outside. I-I , because of my childish behaviour, a girl got abducted... probably sold."

"When I saw her mother disturbing flyers of her being missing, I found out she was a teenager. A young poor girl who was aspiring to be an actor, and was gonna play as a sails woman in your drama. She didn't get justice, the director too called up another rookie, because her role was minimal. Obviously her grammar was weak, obviously she thought she was being intimidating. She- was just a young naive girl, whom I could've helped as a person."

"Everytime I think of quitting my relationship with Taeyang, i'm reminded of her. That night when we got home, I drank a lot because I wanted to forget her face that kept haunting my conscience. But it still bugs me." , Jeongguk couldn't cry anymore, his face was burning, but he refused to cry.

"I wasn't offering you a cold shoulder because I didn't like you Taehyung. I was trying to get rid of my feelings towards you."

"why?", it came out in a whisper. Jeongguk realised Taehyung had stopped crying as well.

"I didn't trust you. Still don't.", he did not expect Taehyung to understand, but saying it out loud helped him more than he imagined it would.

"I will not date you until Soyeon finds the missing girls.", he sighed again, "you are allowed to wait or give up. I don't care."

Taehyung was still sitting in the similar position, internally screaming at the source above then. He looked up and starred directly into her eyes, 'Bitch, you told me this wasn't going to be dark.' , he gritted his teeth at the grinning face, 'Don't try and be over smart, or you might not get Jeongguk for the next 1000 chapters.' , Taehyung looked down, his frown getting deeper, as a sigh escaped his lips. He hates the fucking author.

Taehyung @ me
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<,︻╦╤─ ҉ - - - 🐖
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