His first Decathlon practice back could have been far worse than it was. For the most part, people acted like nothing had happened. The only one who said anything was Liz who gave him a hug and welcomed him back with a smile. She always was the perfect angel.

As he was leaving, Flash grabbed him by the arm and pulled him aside as the rest of them left the gym. Miles fought out of the boy's grip, but he didn't run away quite yet. After the party, he was interested in what Flash had to say. The only problem was rat Miles had no idea what the boy could say to him nor did he know what he could say in response. Everything with Flash was pretty much a traffic signal that's not working so it's blinking red and Miles isn't sure who has the right-of-way. This is why he refused to get his license or start his driver's ed. But this wasn't a car. It wasn't a traffic signal. It was Flash. What was the worst that Flash could do? A lot, apparently. Just ask Miles's tarnished reputation. Not that he had much of a reputation to begin with.

"What do you want?" he snapped, sounding more aggressive than he would have liked but the boy didn't seem too bothered by it.

"I just wanted to talk to you alone. Everywhere you go, you and Claudia are attached at the hip and that girl stares at me like she's mentally stabbing me thirty times!" Flash exclaimed as he raised his hands in mock surrender, allowing Miles to take a step back from him. "I mean... we never really talked about what happened at the party."

"Nothing happened," Miles scoffed even though they both remembered it vividly. How could they not? Miles refused to admit how much he misses Flash, but he refused to be treated like Flash was ashamed of him. He understood Flash not wanting to come out, there had been a time when Miles himself had acted as if girls were the most fascinating thing in the world because being straight was easy. Hiding in the closet was fine and Miles understood that part, but hiding in the closet while simultaneously throwing your boyfriend that you're supposedly in love with directly under the nearest bus is something Miles understands significantly less.

Flash sighed, looking displeased as his eyes met Miles's. He had always loved Flash's eyes but now was not the time to get utterly lost in them. "Miles, be real. Please. It's not like there's anyone here you might as well admit it. You kissed me."

"You kissed me!" Miles exclaimed, crossing his arms as he rolled his eyes. "You wanna place the blame on me so you don't have to face your homosexual tendencies? Again? Why am I sensing a theme?"

"You totally kissed me first!" Flash argued, sputtering as he raced to defend himself, "I am not placing blame on anyone, that's just what happened!"

"That's not how it happened," the dark-haired boy muttered with a scoff as he forced himself to keep his eyes trained on the tile floor of the hallway they were standing in. Even though they were as alone as they could be, Miles felt exposed. Maybe that was just the affect of standing next to Flash. Maybe it was because he was forced to realize how much Flash knew and understood him. Even if they felt like strangers now.

The other boy sighed as he ran his hands though his hair, looking up at the boy standing across from him. "We have to acknowledge what that was. I mean, this whole thing is kind of uncharted territory. We... we're still broken up, right?"

"Dude, yes!" Miles exclaimed a he took a step closer to Flash subconsciously. Being slightly taller was on his side right now as he felt as though he was towering over the other boy. "This isn't exactly a kiss and makeup situation. There was graffiti on my locker! Someone wrote on the projector like a fucking Heathers knock-off! How many times are we going to have this conversation, Flash? I don't care if you didn't mean for things to happen this way, but they did and whether you want to believe it or not, it's because of you. The sooner you own up to that, the sooner we can put all this shit behind us and go back to—"

"Back to what?" Flash asked, his voice was reminiscent of pleading but Miles didn't want to give himself that kind of hope. "To boyfriends? Strangers? Whatever you want from me, Miles, I'll do it."

Miles sighed, taking a step back as he let his eyes rest on the boy across from him for a moment. He might be in love with Flash still and that was probably the most terrifying thought he could ever have because that meant so many more problems than he could handle. How do they even come back from this? Can they? Miles wants to say no. Part of him wants to believe in the yes.

"I don't know Flash, but whatever it is, I don't want this," he motioned to the space between them, not even knowing what he meant by such a thing. "I just want my life to go back to normal. I don't need you in it." Liar.

"Liar," Flash shook his head and Miles wondered if the boy could read his mind. "I refuse to be okay with the idea of you not being in my life, Miles. I know that sounds dumb and we're just teenagers and I made a stupid mistake, but the last thing I ever wanna be is a stranger to you."

"I hate you," Miles muttered, but it was the furthest thing from the truth he could have uttered in that moment. He felt himself begin to cry as he reached up to wipe his cheeks. He didn't need to be weak right now, he couldn't afford to be. "The DC trip is soon. After that... after that I'm quitting the team. I can't be around you, I just... I can't."

Miles turned and went to walk away, but he heard Flash call out after him. "Miles! Don't do this! I know what I did was wrong and you didn't deserve that. I know that because of what I did, I'll never deserve you. Just... don't give up on Decathlon because of me! I'll quit, you don't have to."

The boy stopped and turned, but only halfway so he didn't have to face him. "Flash, you've always been smarter than me. I'm quitting and that's final."

The words leaving his mouth were the last thing he wanted to say, but he forced it past his lips as he added on, "And I don't wanna hear from you again. The only time you should be talking to be is when you ask me a question at practice."

He was vaguely aware of Flash calling after him, but Miles forced himself to walk away. He wanted to call Claudia, but he knew she would only chastise him for talking to Flash in the first place. As he scrolled through his contacts, he realized he really did have no one. He sighed and kept walking.

I know this seems weird for me to randomly update, but in the wake of Chadwick Boseman's death my coping mechanism is to write sad stuff and inspiration struck for this story so I know it's been two and a half months but here's a sad chapter because I'm feeling absolutely gutted right now