alexander

Friday

I was really looking forward to my date with John. I couldn't wait. I was hanging out with Lafayette and Hercules in their dorm while John was out running errands that he refused to let me join him on.

"So what are you guys doing tonight?" Hercules asked.

I shrugged. "He wouldn't tell me."

"Really? I thought John had the biggest mouth out of all of us," Lafayette teased. I chuckled.

"Yeah, but he's not spilling anything."

"For once," Hercules laughed.

It was an understatement to say I was excited. This was definitely not what I was expecting out of having to spend a year with him. I realized I probably should've come clean about why I hated him so, but I didn't want to ruin anything. Usually, I'm the one who can't keep their mouth shut. I didn't want this date to be ruined because of me. I could feel butterflies in my stomach when there was a knock at the door. Lafayette opened it, and there was John, wearing a red button down and dress pants with some flowers in his hands. I could feel a blush creeping onto my face as Hercules herded me to the door and into John's arms.

"Come up to the dorm," he smiled sweetly, handing me the flowers. I followed him down the stairs and he opened the door. Laid on the chair was a black button down shirt and khakis. These clothes weren't mine.

"John.. Where did you get these?" I asked.

He smiled. "They're mine. But they don't fit me well, so I thought they'd look good on you."

I changed into the shirt and John fixed the sleeves for me, rolling them up. "Well? Does it look as good on me as you hoped?" I asked. His hands remained fixated on my arm.

Slowly he leaned forward, saying "Even better." I blushed harshly and turned away shyly.

"Let me finish getting ready." I said, nudging in the direction of the pants.

"Okay." He let go of me and turned away so I could change into the khakis he'd given me. They were a little bigger than my usual size, but I didn't complain.

"Thank you," I said. 

"Wait, I almost forgot to remind you about the finishing touch." John grabbed the jacket he always let me borrow.

"I thought this got ruined in the rain," I said, hugging it. It still smelt like John, making me smile.

"Nothing a little laundry cleaners can't fix. I know you really like it, so you can have it if you want," he smiled.

"John... I-I can't do this. This is like your favourite jacket." I started to handed it back to him. 

"I insist, Alexander. It suits you. It all does." He made me turn so he could put it on me. He kissed my cheek.

"You're really sweet John. I really don't know how to thank you for all this." He bit his lip.

"Well, c'mon let's go." I followed him back up to Laf and Hercules' dorm. "What do you think? He looks good, no?" John kept his arm around my waist as he showed me off.

"You clean up nice, Alexander," Laf said.

"Yeah. So John, what's the plan for tonight?" Hercules asked.

"It's a surprise for him," he said. Damn.

"Aw, c'mon John. I want to know what we're doing," I said.

He shook his head. "Nope! I'm not saying anything. Now, let's go or we'll be late. Night guys."

"Have fun you two!" Laf said. And we left.

He opened the door for me and closed it behind me. "John, can you please tell me where we're going?" 

"If I did, it wouldn't be a surprise anymore now would it."

"Whatever. I'm just glad you didn't blindfold me." I looked out the window and saw the school in the distance. I raised an eyebrow. "Are we going to the school?" I asked. I didn't get an answer. "John," I started.

"Don't ruin the surprise." He pulled into a semi-packed parking lot and told me to close my eyes and he opened the car door for me.

"I know where we are, John," I stated.

"But you don't know what for!"

"Fine."

So I shut my eyes and let him lead me. He constantly tugged and stopped and tugged and stopped and I may or may not have made a silent prayer to God on the way that I wouldn't get hit by a car. We got inside and John said I could open my eyes again. It was a small building, but cozy and definitely warmer than it was outside. "It's nice right?" John said. I nodded in agreement, looking all around the building. "C'mon Alex." He tugged me behind him and we walked to a small little office with a sign that said 'Tickets'. John was talking to the man behind the window and he handed him two tickets. John handed one to me. I looked down and it was for 'A Christmas Carol'.

"Isn't it kinda early for this show?" I asked. John shrugged.

"I have some friends that work here and perform here. I wanted to come support them and I figured it'd be a great date." I smiled and blushed lightly. John kissed my forehead. "Let's go find our seats." I followed John into a small little theatre. There weren't a lot of people, but at the same time, it seemed packed. John and I were almost in the front row. I guess that was one of his perks of having friends that worked here. Of having friends. I leaned against his shoulder. He put his arm around my shoulder and let me stay there.

"Have you ever seen this show before?" he asked.

"Nope," I said, shaking my head.

"You'll love it."

"If you picked it, then I'm sure."

He smiled. I stayed in that position until the lights dimmed and the curtain began to rise.

The show went on and I watched without much interruption. John kept his arm around me and tried reaching out for my hand during intermission. I didn't pay much attention, but the sudden warmth on my cold hand surprised me. I jumped slightly and turned to face him. He just smiled at me and asked, "Are you enjoying the show".

I bit my lip and nodded. "This is really good, I'm surprised not more people are here."

"It's kind of an underground thing. They're not really publicized here. Usually only the main performing arts building gets that gets all the attention. But they don't mind all that much." He shrugged and kind of moved forward, towards me. I leaned forward and rubbed my nose against his. He smiled and kissed me. I pulled back and smiled. 

"I-"

The lights went out and the show started again before I had the chance to say what I had planned on saying. But I was kind of thankful, because I wasn't sure I wanted to actually to say that.

He kissed my temple and held onto me. The show continued flawlessly in my opinion. The theatre suddenly got a lot colder and it was snowing on stage. I smiled a bit. I hadn't seen snow before. Last year's winter was too warm for snow. I looked at John who was grinning and told me to look up. There was fake snow falling down, landing all around us. I smiled like a little kid on Christmas. Which I guess was the point. Everything just seemed so happy around me and I was smiling widely, as was John. He leaned in and kissed me. I kissed back happily. The show finished and everyone bowed. This place didn't get nearly as much attention as it should. John took me out and introduced me to all his friends that were both on tech and on stage. He kept his arm around me, tensing whenever someone's eyes were on me too long for his liking.

We walked to his car and John let me lean against the console as we drove back to the dorm. "Thank you John. That was amazing," I said.

"I'm really glad you liked it. But date's not over yet, so no sleeping." I frowned but adjusted myself as he pulled into the parking lot of the dorm building.

"Am I going to have to close my eyes again?" I asked, getting out of the car.

"I won't make you. C'mon." He intertwined our fingers and we walked up to the dorm without much interruption from Lee, who wolf-whistled at me the second we walked in. The dorm was warm and decorated.

"How did-"

"I gave Laf and Herc a key so they could decorate. And I slipped them some money to buy us a dinner. Granted, it is just take out but-"

"It's perfect," I whispered.

"You really think so?" he asked shyly. I turned to face him and nodded, smiling widely. I bit my lip and slid my hands up his forearms and draped behind his neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed me against him. He pressed his forehead against mine. I gulped. "What about that make out session you promised me?"

I bit my lip and slowly leaned forward, bringing my hands up to cup his cheeks. "John," I whispered. He hummed back a response, staring down at my lips. "I-I-I-I-" I was cut off by his lips pressing to mine. He stepped to the side and back to his bed. He pulled away for a second, just to lay back on the bed and pulled me over him. We kissed slowly, which eventually led to us making out, which led to him and I being shirtless. "I l-"

He had one of his hands on the back of my neck and the other securely wrapped around my waist. He bit lightly on my bottom lip and I let out a short gasp. I love you, I thought. But the words found a way to get stuck in my throat. The words wouldn't come out. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't say it. John was laying back and I was practically sitting on top of his stomach, my legs on either sides of him. I finally pulled back and John had a smirk plastered on his face, a smug look as he bit his lip. God, he looked extremely sexy. I rolled off of him and laid next to him. I didn't want to look at him.

"Hey, what's wrong Alex?" he asked, taking my hand between his and kissing my knuckles.

"I-I just..."

"Alex," he said.

"I feel like you don't want me."

"What?"

"Like you just want to kiss me. You don't want me," I said, my voice cracking slightly.

"Alexander-"

"Tell me the truth John!"

"Don't be ridiculous. If I just wanted to make out with you then I wouldn't try so hard to make everything so fucking perfect for you!"

I was taken back a bit. I sat up. "John..."

He sat up and faced me. "Alexander, I really like you. I've told you before. Please just believe me."

"I want to."

"Then why don't you."

"You wouldn't understand."

"God, Alexander, what are you so afraid of?" He took my hands in his and looked at me. His eyes were brimmed with tears.

"I-I-"

"Please just... Tell me."

"I just don't want you to throw me to the side when someone better comes along."

He hugged me tightly and kissed my forehead. "I would never." I leaned against his chest. John went and changed and I did too. I slipped on one of my long sleeve shirts that was really soft and warm and a pair of gym shorts. John came up from behind me and slipped his arms around my waist, and he put his head on my shoulder and looked at me.

"I'm sorry for doubting you John," I whispered, looking down. He kissed my temple.

"It's okay Alex. I just want you to know I care about you. Now c'mon, let's get some sleep."