CREATIVITY || ROMAN

Was I concerned when Anxiety didn't leave his room for the next few weeks? To be honest, not really. No one wants a storm cloud like him ruining everything, do they? Exactly.

Anyway, I was summoned by Thomas, so I appear in my usual spot. With flair of course as I make a dramatic hand gesture followed by a gentleman's bow. "Greetings, Thomas! It's such a fine day, isn't it?" I smiled, all my teeth showing.

"Salutations, Roman. Perhaps you may be of assistance with Thomas' writing of a new video? He's having a bit of a 'creative slump' as he calls it." Logan adjusted his glasses, addressing me as he usually does, professionally.

Continuing to smile, I nodded, walking over to where Thomas and Logic were stood, hunched over the table behind the couch.

Thomas was fidgety, chewing on the tips of his fingers as his eyes scanned his already printed script. Well, I'm guessing it was a script considering it was covered in lines of red ink- notes and revisions he had written on top of his work.

My eyes flew to Logan, who was in the same stance as the host, eyes glued to the pages, moving from side to side as he took in every word. How he could understand a thing is beyond me.... A fist rested against his face, his index finger lay just above his top lip while the other pressed against his chin. He was stumped.

"Wrong." Thomas mumbled, shaking his head at a paper with a large black, bold '3' in its top right corner. Picking up the red pen beside him, he leaned over the paper and scribbled something, it was rushed and messy.

With a few relaxed glances at the script, I allowed myself to ignore their odd behavior as my brain began working to fix this train wreck.

--

"I don't understand, we've re-written this script three times and still it seems so wrong!" Thomas was frustrated, his hands tugging at his messy magenta hair, causing it to stick up in different directions, pointing here and there as his eyes stayed with the printed ink hidden by red. We've also gone through four pens.

"Yes, somehow it strays so far from our topic it's as if Patton wrote it. There's not even a clear message to take from all this, we have about three separate videos here, but we just need one!" Logan was exasperated, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes profusely.

Pulling up a chair, I sat down in shock and realization, running both my hands vertically down my face.

I'm a failure, the thought hits me like a train, I can't do my job right. The whole idea of my existence is creating ideas- creative, original ideas. And I can't do it.

Oh lord, I'm starting to sound like Virgil, the way he always moans about insecurities and failing when the only thing he fails at is keeping his mouth shut. Every thought, every move, anything Thomas or anyone else does is wrong in his eyes.

Take a step, watch the way you walk, don't walk funny, it's wrong, it's wrong. It's hard to leave your room for a recording session when you know he's going to ruin it with his worry.

You're going to get excited, wake up on the right side of your bed, just absolutely fall in love with every aspect of your life and then he comes around, and he takes it. Crushes it. Burns it until it is nothing but ash. Then blows it away like a leaf blower.

Because he's a jerk like that.