ANXIETY || VIRGIL

I woke up with a gasp and a knock on my door. My glare returned, did anyone around here understand that I only want to talk when I'm outside of this room.

"What?" Two days in a row, it better be important, I was actually enjoying my wallow in self-loathing.

"Oh, nothing, Anxiety. I was just assuring Patton that you were in your room and not hidden in some unknown corner." Logan replied through the door, making my eye twitch.

"Why do you even care?" I shot back, bitter that I had been bothered for something so stupid.

I could tell that at this point Logan adjusted his glasses, it was something he did quite often and usually in a type of situation where he was explaining something.

"Well, I do believe that it is Patton's job as Thomas' heart to care, Virgil."

Ugh, I know that's his job, but does he always have to be right?

"My temper is infinitesimal, Logan. Don't push it."  What? Don't judge me, I wanted to suffer in my sleep by myself thank you very much.

"Point taken." He adjusted his glasses again most likely, as there was a moments pause before I heard footsteps scurry down the hallway. Good. He was gone now.

Searching for my earbuds, giving up any hope I had of sleeping again, I perked up as I heard more footsteps pad down to my room. I ignored them and continued my search.

Finally finding them, my joy was immediately cut off by an unexpected growl escaping me as I heard yet another knock.

"I swear to God, if this is something stupid again I will march right out there and-"

"Woah, Anxiety, chill, it's me." He says it so flamboyantly, it's like his ego has inflated overnight.

"What the hell do you want, Princey?" I hope he can feel my glare through the door, I hope he began to suffocate with worry as he stood about three inches from it.

I also hope his head snaps off one of these days, but my money is on the small stuff at the moment.

There was a footstep back, I must've scared him, I would've smirked, but fear clawed up my throat, finding a home right in the middle of it, taking away my ability to speak, and barely letting me breathe.

Yeah, maybe I didn't want everything to do with the other traits, but I did want them to at least tolerate me, but what if they won't now? All because I decided to snap at the most insufferable trait. The one that everyone likes and adores and I just ruin things.

Damn, why do I do this to myself? Why do I still not think before I speak sometimes, I'm stupid. I'm stupid, that's the only real reason, it has to be, I'm stupid, awful, terrible, major screw-up, everyone hates-

"Anxiety!" I snapped out of my thoughts, although a small part of me was sure I was about to get yelled at.

Another lie, it was a very large part of me that was sure he was going to yell at me.

Okay, okay, I'll admit it, it was most of me.

Fine, you've got me, all of me, all of me was sure he was going to yell at me. Even if it wasn't in his job description, because that's how stupid I am.

"What?" Yes, I am a hypocrite to myself, scolding myself for my natural behavior, my natural born defense mechanisms. You're gonna call me out on that, I expect it.

You might as well do it, I'm gonna worry about it either way, just save me the trouble.

"Uhh," his voice was unsure, like he was losing whatever confidence he had to scrounge up in order to talk to me. What? Was I scary or something? Hardly, in my opinion. "I-it's just you left immediately, T-Thomas was worried that you were sick or something....then Patton-"

"For being creativity, you're not very creative with your excuses." I cut him off, there goes my confidence for the week. Oh well, I got this far. "So, why don't you tell me the real reason you came here, or else you can leave right now. I'm fine either way."

Another lie, I can't help it, but I'm not trying to stop it. Let him think I'm fine, it's gonna help him sleep at night, not that my words can get through that thick skull of his.

A sigh sounded through the door, he sounded defeated, was I being irritated? I probably was, I know I was, I defini-

Stop it, focus, if you don't hear it now, then you're gonna have to ask again. Don't do that, that's embarrassing, you've embarrassed yourself enough today, do I need to remind you?

"Fine, Thomas' friends are over and I jokingly said that maybe we should call you out so you can ruin it and Logan dared me to come say it to your face."

I...I see how it is, that's what I am to him, to all of them, even Patton, just some big joke. It was always a speculation of mine, but it was a gut feeling, so I should've known, gut feelings are usually right.

"No, it's fine." I cursed my voice for being quiet and timid, now he thought I was weak and a joke. A weak joke, hey maybe that'll drive him away.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

"I think I've ruined enough for today, Roman."