Chapter Twenty: My Breakdown

⭐️ Alessia's P.O.V.⭐️

I woke up to the sound of Boomer whimpering at the door. I groaned as I crawled out of bed. I slipped on my sneakers and made sure I looked presentable before I took him outside. My hair was a mess, so I decided to just tie it up in a messy bun and then I opened the door for Boomer.

Once we were out of the building, Boomer turned sharply to the right and found a patch of grass that I didn't even know existed behind the Bunker. I guess it was probably for situations just like this. Once he was done doing his business, I turned to see a few people roaming around already. I looked at my watch to find out the time was 5:45. I suddenly remembered Gunner's trial, but I had no clue when it began.

Boomer trotted back over to me as I opened the Bunker door again. I walked down the hallways, heading back to my room. I wanted to get ready, so I could get to training earlier and I had no clue what today would turn into. I realized I wasn't paying attention, as I ran into something hard. The breath was knocked out of my lungs and the floor was coming fast. Right before my face made contact with the floor, hands wrapped around my waist and caught me.

"Are you okay, Alessia?" My favorite voice in the world greeted my ears, as I looked up into brown eyes.

"Ye-yeah I'm fine," I stuttered. Kai flashed me a grin.

"Still not watching where you're going, huh?" He gave me a knowing smile.

"You know it."

Kai finally pulled me back up and wrapped his arms around me. I smiled to myself. The blush started creeping up my neck and into my cheeks. I heard his heart pounding as my head rested against his chest.

"What time is the trial?" My whisper was barely audible. Kai's body stiffened which made me grit my teeth. I hated the fact that I was involved in this. No, worse. I'm the cause of this. I felt so awful that everything has turned for these people since I arrived.

"If I wasn't here none of this would've ever happened." I said before he could even respond.

I felt Kai tense even more and he pulled away from me, putting his hands on my shoulders.

"Sia, don't say that. If you never came here we," he said, motioning with one hand in between us, "We would've never happened. I would go through anything just to be with you. I know you have had to go through a lot already, but you will get through it."

I knew he was right. If I didn't come and cause problems for the S.I.A. something else would've happened to them. There were so many different possibilities. So, I just nodded my head at him.

"The trial is at noon, but I figured we could take the day off from training today. The trial is today and plus it is Saturday. You have worked hard all week so you deserve a break." I wanted to argue with him that I should train, but I didn't see the point. He is always dead set in his decisions.

"Fine. I've still gotta get ready though."

Now it was Kai's turn to nod his head at me.

I turned to open my door and both Kai and Boomer followed me inside. I shook my head and headed into the bathroom.

"Where were you going when I ran into you?" I questioned before I shut the bathroom door.

"Honestly, I was going to find you."

Confusement furrowed my brow.

"Why?"

I watched Kai just shrug his shoulders and I gave a light laugh.

I shook my head again as I shut the door and I turned to look at myself in the mirror. This is crazy! What 16-year-old girl has a father who works for a secret agency, ends up being kidnapped and the family is murdered, and then the daughter is sent to an agency in order to train for his rescue? Crazy!

I knew life would be hard, I knew life would be confusing and full of surprises, but this? This is insane and shouldn't even exist! I longed for a normal world, where I could have a normal life and a normal family.

I knew that this was impossible, however. Now, this was my life and I couldn't leave because of the information I had and who I am. I never imagined myself in a world where I was important. I used to be someone who wasn't exactly popular, although, I didn't go unnoticed either.

Now, I'm the center of attention, which I'm not so sure I'm fond of. Everything is so confusing, yet, it makes so much sense. This just feels right. I have no idea why. At first, I wasn't sure, but now I feel like I was born to do this. I was born to lead.

These thoughts clouded my head as I turned on the shower. I let the hot water calm me and my thoughts. I suddenly remembered my father's secret panel in his closet. I began to wonder if it had some significance or importance after all.

I wanted to get done quickly, but I still took my time in the shower. I got out and dressed in a pair of washed-out jeans and a white T-shirt, as I feel a bit cold this morning. I'll probably end up changing again later. I finally noticed how tan I had gotten since I had been here and I was amazed. Nevada sure was the place to tan in record time!

I quickly applied a little bit of make-up, involving some nude lip gloss and mascara. I left my golden hair down today which flowed gently over my shoulders. I put on my white sneakers which I noticed were starting to wear out. Already. I groaned. These were my favorite pair. I would have to go by the Lab later to get more clothes and a new pair of shoes.

I stepped out of the bathroom to find Kai sprawled out on my bed, Boomer laying beside him. An 'awwww' escaped my mouth and Kai just grinned.

"He's a sweet dog." He motioned with the wave of his hand. He slowly moved over and patted the bed next to him. I quickly obliged and laid down next to him. His arms wrapped around me and I was wrapped in his warm embrace. I nuzzled my head into his chest to hear his heartbeat. When I heard it pick up its pace, I smiled to myself, loving the fact that I had that effect on him still. He gently rested his head on top of mine and I sighed.

"I love you, Sia."

My heart skipped a beat and heat coursed through my body. Those three words were so powerful, so very powerful, and he used them for me.

"I love you too, Kai."

Boomer crept up to me and put his head in my lap as if saying 'what about me'? I giggled.

"I love you too, Boomer."

Kai kissed my forehead as I stroked Boomers. I sighed again.

"As much as I hate to ruin this moment there's something I have to show you."

I took Kai's hand as I rolled off the bed and stood up. He followed suit and I led him to the closet. I flipped on the lightswitch. Light flooded the room as I flipped the secret panel, revealing the board of information. I turned to Kai to see his reaction. His eyes widened in surprise as he let go of my hand to examine the material in front of me.

I saw him look over the information about me and I saw his eyes linger when he saw where he was mentioned. There were so many numbers and letters I didn't understand, but it did look like chemistry and formulas.

Kai continued to study the board and he still said nothing. I don't know why I was so nervous about this, but it made me feel very uneasy. I cleared my throat.

"I discovered it the day I moved in. It was so strange. I just feel like a project my father was working on." I hesitated.

"I feel like a fake or an experiment," I said under my breath, not meaning for Kai to hear. He still did, however, and stood up to my level. His eyes held my gaze as I got lost in it. I tried to swallow, but my throat went dry and my palms began to sweat.

"You are not fake or an experiment, Alessia. You are more real to me than anything else in my life. How could you say that about yourself?" I saw the disbelief in his eyes and I was even confused myself.

I had never been self-conscious of myself until I saw this hidden board. I felt like I had been examined and scrutinized from every angle, inside and out. I felt like my dad was some kind of creep and he was experimenting on me. I didn't get all this information. I don't get why my dad would've bothered even writing it down in the first place.

"I don't know." My voice was a hoarse whisper.

"Well, I love the confident you. The you who's ready to take on the world. The you that is determined and never stops. And, right now, that isn't you. What happened?"

My gaze faltered. I felt like he had slapped me. I don't know what happened. What did happen to me? What is happening to me? I shouldn't be here. No, not at all. I should be back home with my family. My family should be alive. My father should have a normal job. I should have a normal life.

I crumbled into Kai's arms and he caught me. He cradled me as he squeezed me gently. He slowly lowered us to the floor, never letting me go. I soon found myself in his lap on the floor. I was wrapped in his arms as the tears flowed down my cheeks. I ugly cried. I don't know why I get so emotional, honestly. I never used to be a very emotional person before, but it seems this whole S.I.A. situation has changed me. I used to have a heart of stone.

We sat there for what felt like hours, but it only could've been a matter of minutes. Kai stroked my hair as I continued to weep. I felt bad I was doing this to him, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't seem to control my emotions anymore. So much has happened to me. So much death. So much loss. So much trauma. So much betrayal. And most of all, so many lies. The lies were being revealed all at once, but I felt as if this was only the beginning. The lies would always come and they would always be there. But the question still remains. Would the lies always be revealed? 

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