There was a big chance that I might just have been dreaming right then.

But then again, dreams weren't this disbelieving and happy whenever I had them. They'd stopped being nice a year or so ago.

It was just, I'd never had anyone or any chance of ever just spontaneously going out in the middle of the night with someone I trusted enough to keep me safe but one I barely knew anything about (Ryder was safe but I didn't know him). And no one had ever, during my whole nineteen--almost twenty--years of existence ever bought me sunflowers or a kitten of all things, or taken me out on a short trip to one of the many huge hills that surrounded one side of this town, with a sky above so dark and full of twinkling stars.

Well, to be fair, Ryder hadn't exactly driven us all the way here on his motorcycle because of me. It was the black kitten in my hands that had needed a nightly stroll.

But still, I had never seen so many stars in my life before.

I was starstruck and unfortunately, seconds away from having a really bad case of word vomit.

"You're so soft." I gushed unabashedly as I held the tiny kitten in my hands. "And you've got such big eyes! I've never actually held a kitty like you in my hands before. It's just they seem so awfully snippy whenever I go near them but you're such a gem. And the stars!" I held her up in the sky and quite nearly fell back on the grass. My sweet little black gem blinked back at me with her big brown eyes and her fur seemed to glitter amongst the stars. "So many stars. I've never seen so many stars in one spot before. They're almost as pretty as those sunflowers, although I do think they're wilting back in my dorm and I'm just so devastated and happy."

I was quite possibly drunk on happiness. It was so entirely similar, yet so different from being drunk on alcohol. I liked it better because being drunk with happiness was much more effective than being drunk because of alcohol.

The kitten in my hands gave a small meow and I laughed in delight.

I was so wrong. We were already in the danger zone by then. I was so unbelievably happy and vomiting out every word that came to my tongue seemed like a necessity by then.

"Are you waiting for the cat to talk back?" I heard Ryder somewhere behind me.

Falling back on the grass, I looked over at him, my face upside down, and found him by his motorcycle. He'd been busy with a phone call and I hadn't heard him putting his phone away. I hadn't realized he was listening to my blabbering.

That didn't however stop me though.

I grinned. "How had you known that I absolutely and incredibly adore sunflowers!" No one knew that. I hadn't even known it until I woke up with one of them almost in my face today. So big and bright and yellow.

He narrowed his eyes at me. Or I think he did it since I was still somewhat looking at him upside down. I rolled over on my stomach and placed the kitten before me, looking up at Ryder questioningly.

"I hadn't known." He spoke carefully, gaze steadily lowering down my face and my whole form in a pointed gesture. "But it wasn't difficult to assume."

He was looking at the pajamas I was currently wearing right then. My striped pajamas with tiny sunflowers on them. He was right.

A surprised giggle left my lips when Gem tried to lick my chin. "But." I sobered and sat up. "That was so nice and thoughtful of you."

Ryder looked away. "Pains me to agree, but I suppose."

I watched as Gem walked away a few steps and a few more, nosing around the cool night air. "Can I tell you something?"

He regarded me with a somewhat pensive gaze before leaning against his motorcycle. Ryder wasn't wearing a jacket because I was wearing his jacket and that meant I could see them. The tattoos that were visible beneath his rolled-up sleeves. I wanted so desperately right then to close the distance between us and trace my fingertips along the black ink, ask him about them, find out what each of them meant.

It was a horrible want that would quite possibly ruin this peaceful mood we both were in right now.

"Go on." He said.

"I think..." I started. I think your eyes look so beautiful under the moonlight. "I think I've always wanted a cat."

"You think."

"Well, I've never really thought of it until now." That was a lie. I gazed down at my hands, speaking slowly, "Back at home, things were always just about doing what my mom asked me to do. Not like I ever asked her or Andy for a cat, so I guess that was my fault. What I'm trying to say is that I can't keep this kitten."

Ryder only just stared at me.

I hadn't yet found a home for the rest of the sunflowers that I'd left back at Ivy and Co., but I thought I could at least find one for my kitten without stressing about it much. "I can't keep Gem with me."

"Gem?" He looked confused now. Even that looked good on him. How was that fair?

"I named her Gem just now," I told him right as she came running back to me and into my arms. "I can't keep her, Ryder."

"Why the hell not?" He scowled.

"Well, because there's this no pet policy back in the dorms. Someone's gonna find out I'm sneaking a kitten inside and I don't think that would end well."

He blinked and the scowl was gone. "Find her another home then."

I looked at him, aghast. "No, you take her back with you. That's what I meant by all this."

He waited a second, two seconds, before stuffing one hand in his back pocket and taking out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. "I'm not doing that."

"Why not?" I furrowed my brows sadly. "Where is she going to live then? You bought her for me. I'm sure she knows you better than she knows me anyway."

A flick of the lighter and smoke curled up from the cigarette that he placed between his lips.

"Ryder."

He glanced up at me. "This cat wasn't my idea. It was Rafael's."

I perked up in surprise. "He forced you to buy it for me?" I don't know why it saddened me so much.

"It was a stupid idea," he pocketed back the silver lighter before looking at me, "is what I meant."

"Not stupid." I frowned.

"Yes stupid."

"It was thoughtful and sweet of him." I pressed on and Ryder scowled rather murderously at my words, and then at Gem. "It was thoughtful and sweet of you too!"

"No, it was a stupid idea. I'm not keeping that thing in my house any longer than I already--" He stopped when I made a tiny sound of protest, cursed something under his breath, and raised his hands rather frustratedly in the air. "Fine, querida. It wasn't stupid."

I smiled because maybe this was a dream after all.

My phone buzzed softly, probably an alarm, and I stood up from the grass with Gem all warm and cozy in my hands as I stepped towards Ryder. "So you'll keep her? Maybe I can...I don't know." I looked down at Gem and she blinked back at me with her big eyes. I grew sad because maybe I wouldn't be seeing her again. "Maybe it's better that you keep her instead of me."

Ryder rolled his eyes heavenwards. "Jesus Christ."

I wanted him to understand so I blurted out, "I couldn't care for a goldfish once and she died."

He threw the snubbed-out cigarette on the ground. "And you think I won't somehow lose it and kill your precious gem?"

I stared at him in horror because I was suddenly seeing images of my kitten all hurt and bloody on the dirty ground.

"I was terribly close to tossing her out the window the other day." He confessed in a manner that shouldn't have been as nonchalant as it was right then. He shrugged. "I prefer solitude and silence where I'm living, if you must know."

I pulled Gem closer to me. "You can't kill Gem. You bought her as a gift for me."

"She's been a terrible nuisance so far."

"You're lying."

"And you're shivering, querida." He drawled out as he pushed away from his motorcycle, closing bits of the distance between us. "Zip up the jacket."

I held Gem up in my hands and shrugged in frustration. "You have to keep her with you, Ryder. Because I can't. I really can't."

"Fine, but--"

"Please?"

"I said fine, didn't I?" He glared at me and I grinned in relief. He rolled his eyes before reaching out and tugging me closer by the front of my--his--jacket. A sharp tug that had me stumbling a little towards him. I stiffened in surprise as he pulled the zip up, the leather going all snug around my shoulders. "I'm starting to think all this was unnecessary."

But you still did it, I thought giddily. "Can I maybe, sometimes, like, once visit her? Or not. She would be at your house. I don't mean to say you have to tell me where you live because that's not necessary, but I was hoping you'd let me see her...again...and I should shut up now?"

He looked up at me when he was done zipping up the jacket and the glint of plain amusement was so brief in his eyes that I knew I must've just mistaken it. "That's the first smart thing I've ever heard you say."

I blinked twice. "Are you calling me stupid again?"

He stared at me and our faces were so painfully close. Ryder wasn't pulling away and there was that amused glint in his eyes again, and his lips--I could've sworn there were hints of a barely-there smile on them. My breath hitched when he gave one final tug on the zip near my throat before letting go.

Then he stepped back. "You can visit her." He told me, lifting one shoulder in a half-shrug. "She is yours after all."

Gem meowed like she agreed.

I swallowed heavily and looked away from Ryder, down at her, before petting her softly as a response.

•••

[One voicemail received].

"Alice. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know how to...I want you to forgive me but I don't think you should. I...I am trying, but I did something I shouldn't have done. I hurt you so much. You have always been so nice and kind to me, treated me like a sister, and I betrayed you in the worst way possible. I betrayed your trust. It is only fair that I give something back when I was the one who betrayed you and took your boyfriend from you. Forgive me. F-Forgive me. I'll make it up to you. I'll do it, Alice. For you."

[Voicemail ended].